This is part 1 of my 7-part series on finding love where I share my love journey, how I found my soulmate, and how you can attract authentic love as well.
- Part 1: My Journey in Love
- Part 2: Meeting My Husband (Someone I Knew From Before)
- Part 3: Addressing My Inner Demons
- Part 4: How I Realized My Husband Is The One For Me
- Part 5: How My Husband Realized I Am The One For Him (And Your Questions For Him, Answered)
- Part 6: 10 Steps To Attract Authentic Love
- Part 7: How To Know When You Have Found ‘The One’: 8 Questions To Consider
Ken and me in Glasgow (Photo from our Glasgow Engagement Shoot)
Many of you have been asking me, since I got attached and subsequently engaged, how I met my fiancé Ken. Some of you want to know how we got together, while some of you asked how we knew with such certainty that we are the ones for each other — within a month no less. (Update May 2014: We are now married!)
Initially I wanted to hold off sharing the story of how we met till closer to our wedding, because I didn’t want people to diminish my message as we have not been together long.
But the truth is that even though Ken and I have not been together long, it feels like we’ve known each other all along. For some reason, we are able to connect with each other on a very deep level, in a way I’ve not been able to do with anyone else in my life. If soulmates means two souls having an unexplainable affinity for each other be it mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually, then that’s what we are to each other — soulmates, on all levels.
I’m excited to share my love story because I want to inspire all of you who are seeking love or have yet to find love. Whether you are single or attached, I hope this will give you hope about love. In this series, I will share the story of how we met, got attached, and realized that we are the ones for each other.
My Journey in Love (Up Till I Was 28)
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I’ve already shared parts of my love journey on the blog before. From my longstanding singlehood, to my past heartbreak, to my experience with a dating agency, these are all part of my love journey.
But to give you guys a complete picture, up until I got attached to Ken, I was single for the first 28 years of my life.
I grew up in a household where my parents staunchly ruled that I wasn’t allowed to see anyone until I graduated. When I say “graduated,” I mean graduating from university at the age of 22. While I never gave their opinions second thought, I believe their staunch and negative views on this topic made me subconsciously devalue my desire to be with someone.
I had a couple of relationships when I was in secondary school, but they were very short-term — each lasting no more than a couple of weeks. They were so insignificant and juvenile that I wouldn’t even regard them as relationships.
When I was in university, I liked someone (as I have shared in my moving on series, regarding G). It didn’t work out and I was left crushed, taking years to mend my broken heart thereafter.
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(Of course it all worked out in the end because I eventually met Ken, my real soulmate, but more on that later. Thinking back, G was not a true compatible match because had we gotten together, I would never have evolved to who I am today; he would also not be a fit for the person I’ve become.)
I grew up very career-driven and achievement-oriented. To me relationships come and go, but personal achievements and career, these stick forever. Seeing couples part ways after three, five, ten, or even more years simply reinforced to me the transient nature of relationships and that I shouldn’t invest too heavily in something that wouldn’t last. (I later realized that this belief isn’t true and had limited me from getting attached.)
Never Been in a Serious Relationship Before
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Even though I had never been in a serious relationship before, it wasn’t because I wasn’t appealing enough or I lacked male attention.
On my appeal, I used to think that I wasn’t pretty, thin, or feminine enough to attract a good guy but I later realized that this wasn’t true and I was simply carrying very negative, limiting views of myself. I wrote about my revelations in The Beauty of Self – Why I Used To Feel Inferior about My Looks, How I Began To Love My Body (series), and How I Found My Place as a Female in Today’s World (series).
On attention from guys, I had male attention, but things just never worked out. It was always either that the guy wasn’t a match or that I had some interest but the guy didn’t follow up. I went on dates, but nothing ever came out of them. I usually concluded that we weren’t compatible and would do the fade-away thing (which I later realized wasn’t very nice when I experienced that myself).
I wanted to be with someone but I didn’t see the point of being in a relationship for the sake of it. I wanted to be with someone I truly liked and saw a future with, rather than just get together with some guy I didn’t feel strongly for.
Wondering if there was anyone out there for me
There were often times when I wondered if there was anyone out there for me at all. I would have lengthy chats with friends as we lamented about love and life, but my end conclusion would be that I, or anyone for that matter, had to remain hopeful. Whether or not there was someone for me, having a negative mindset wasn’t going to help me find love. I had to believe there is a special someone out there for everyone, and it is by being positive and being my best self that I would attract that person, whoever he might be.
Dipping my toes into dating: Jun 2011 to Early 2012
When I was 27, between June 2011 and early 2012, I began to dip my toes into dating/love. During this time, I went on a solo seven-month trip around Europe/U.S. for work and to meet new people and experience new cultures. I thought I wasn’t getting younger, so it was really time to get out there and meet people.
I met a huge number of people, and even met a couple of relationship potentials in the process. But things didn’t work out, and I was very hurt in one of the cases. I simply moved on after that, having learned how to move on consciously from the G saga (as I shared in my heartbreak series). Each experience helped me learn more about what I was looking for and I looked forward to whoever I was meeting next.
Serious Dating Immersion: Jul-Dec 2012
Then in June 2012 as I turned 28, I decided to give romance a serious stab. No more “dipping my toe in the water” but seriously going deep into the ocean and full-on swimming.
There were a few reasons.
- Work-wise, I was in a very good place, receiving over a million pageviews a month on PE and getting ongoing media coverage. I wanted to pursue my personal goals, such as romance.
- I was happy with the other areas in my life wheel, such as health and fitness (I had cleaned up my diet over the years and was exercising regularly), contribution (I was giving value to the society daily through PE), friendships (I was surrounded by positive, like-minded people), family (my relationship with my parents was better than before), and personal growth (I was more conscious than I had ever been).
I felt that I was living my most purposeful life ever and it was time to take things to the next level by working on the one area I had not actualized yet — love. I felt that I owed it to myself to give love a serious stab because truth be told, I had been putting love on hold all my life. I would always pretend that I wasn’t interested in love or say I was busy working when deep down, I really wanted to meet my special someone.
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I felt that it was high time to put myself out there, date, and seriously explore entering into a relationship with someone. And what better time to do it than now, given that I was 28? I thought, Whatever comes out of this is out of my control, but the most important thing is to put my best foot forward.
So I did.
- Arranged dating. In July 2012, I joined a dating agency (they sponsored my dating package while I wrote about my date experience). I figured I would not rely on them to get dates, but simply to use it as an extra channel to meet new people.
- Massive socializing and networking. I also started massively expanding my social circle. I joined entrepreneur networking and business events since they were in line with my interests and would help me with my work. I also felt that meeting people in such environments was the best way to showcase the real me, since work is a huge part of my life.
- Dating events. I became open to dating activities like singles events — a first since I would put them down as silly and awkward in the past. My good friend, W, is single and joins singles events occasionally, so I would join him when I was free.
- With friends. I let others know I was open to dating and told them to set me up on a date. I also constantly checked with friends and acquaintances if they had upcoming events I could join. Whenever people invited me to house parties, networking events, talks, etc., I would join in. To me, these were all opportunities to meet new people, on top of attending for the event itself.
- To guys who asked me out. On a personal level, I became open to date invitations. When guys asked me out, I would accept their dates unless I really had no interest. This was a far cry from the past, when I would turn down almost every guy for the most whimsical reason. (The latter is a terminalistic approach, something I share in 10 Steps To Attract Authentic Love.)
Dating Spree – A Memorable Experience
So for the next six months, I went on more dates than I had ever gone on in my entire life. Actually, I went on more dates than most of my peers went on in their entire lives (before getting attached). I could easily be on three to four dates a week, sometimes with pretty eligible men. If I had deprived myself in the area love/romance early on in my life, I had my fill of dates and dating stories in this period.
As if the law of attraction was at work, guys would come out of the woodwork to ask me out — and these could be guys I already knew but never stayed in touch with. It was like I was putting out the intention to date, and the universe was helping to make that happen.
I even had married guys hit on me, something which I disagree with. I would immediately reject them. Read more: What I Have Learned From Being Hit On by Married Men
During this period, I learned a lot about myself and what I was looking for in a relationship partner. While I have always had a good idea of what I’m looking for, this dating phase developed my awareness to a whole new level. I also learned how to be a better date and partner if I were to be with someone in the future.
However… Still Single in the End
While the guys I met in the six months were of increasing eligibility and compatibility, I still did wind up with anybody.
I went to three singles parties with W and they were not my thing. The crowd and vibes of the first two events didn’t gel with me, while the third event didn’t even take place — we went but no one showed up!
With the arranged dates by the dating agency, I realized after a couple of dates that I was meeting much more compatible guys through my own circles. To be fair, maybe their database didn’t have guys who would fit what I was looking for — after all, I am quite different from most females. Also, I am already widely socialized compared to the average person — their service would probably help those with limited social circles and have no time to meet people.
As for dates from my own network, there were some promising prospects, but these were not enough for me to want to enter into a relationship. Given that I was already 28 with a clear idea of my vision and values, I wanted to be with someone I could see a long-term future with. It wouldn’t be fair to enter into a relationship with someone and break up a few months later.
I felt like I was back to “square one” — back to being by myself after so many months of active dating. I felt disappointed, empty, and jaded. I felt like I was in limbo, circling round and round.
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It would be a matter of time before a special someone would enter (actually, re-enter) my life.
Proceed to Part 2: Meeting My Husband (Someone I Knew From Before), where I share the (re)entrance of someone I did not expect into my life.
This is part 1 of my 7-part series on finding love where I share my love journey, how I found my soulmate, and how you can attract authentic love as well.
- Part 1: My Journey in Love
- Part 2: Meeting My Husband (Someone I Knew From Before)
- Part 3: Addressing My Inner Demons
- Part 4: How I Realized My Husband Is The One For Me
- Part 5: How My Husband Realized I Am The One For Him (And Your Questions For Him, Answered)
- Part 6: 10 Steps To Attract Authentic Love
- Part 7: How To Know When You Have Found ‘The One’: 8 Questions To Consider
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Love is such a beautiful thing. For me, my whole life changed when I met my boyfriend about 5 years ago. I have rarely felt such strong and intense emotions towards the same person over and over again and with every year, month, week,… I love him more. I cannot really describe those emotions and I cannot understand how so many people throw their “love” away for a quick adventure or “something new”. I simply do not understand. We’ve also had our problems (and sometimes still do), but together we solved them and we grew stronger.
I’ve always had the fear that no one will ever really love me, but now we have it and we both know that quite a lot of people “envy” us. But I do not enjoy this, since I wish this kind of relationship for everyone.
In 3 months we’ll finally move together and who knows what comes next… :3 I wouldn’t be surprised when we’ll get married within the next 2-4 years :3
Thanks for sharing your story too. It’s inspiring. :)
It’s great to hear that you opened up to someone new :) You inspire me to bring out the best in me. But I do think there is no such thing as a soul mate. You can love and value someone on a very deep level but you CAN recreate this feeling with multiple persons. There’s no such thing as the “one true love” like movies and books depict, in my opinion. Like there is only one person roaming this earth that is a perfect match for you. True love isn’t limited to just one person. People just believe it is.
Hey Simon, actually I never believed in that (the whole “soulmate” and “the one” thing) either until I met Ken. Either way, I don’t think it’s a notion one needs to believe or chase after actually; the point is that it’s when we focus on becoming our true selves that we start meeting our soul-level counterparts in life. I will share more of that in the other parts of the series. :)
I agree that the idea of there being just one person for you is very limiting because what if they died or would just never love you back or something? I wouldn’t want to spend my life thinking that my one chance was over. I like the idea that are multiple soulmates out there.
You are right Moonsparkle! I don’t recommend that people think that there is just “ONE” person for them in this life and this is the only person they can ever be with forever. It may well be true, but it’s always to think from an abundance mindset (be it in love or relationships), which will attract the right matches for all of us.
For me, Ken and my connection is almost unreal and to be honest, seriously not something I thought even existed in the universe until I actually experienced and saw it for myself. So in experiencing this, it made me realize that “Wow, this notion of ‘the right one’ and ‘one soulmate’ for you really does exist”, even though it was not something that was even in my realm of reality before. This is why I have referred to him and titled this series as such.
The funny thing, though, is that I would probably never have reacquainted with him as a lover in this lifetime if I had hung on to such a notion of “having to meet the one”. (Same for him; he never believed in marriages or even sticking to one same partner for the rest of his life until he met me. He was always pretty nonchalant when it came to relationships. His past beliefs on relationships got blown out of the water after we met, and he only realized, on retrospection, that he cares so much and he has a strong primal instinct to want to be with me because he has met the one for him.)
I think we should be open to different forms and manifestations of love, and includes being open to the possibility of different people being “right” matches for us. Some of us may have “one true soulmate” (with whom we have made arrangements in our past lives to meet in this life); some of us may have multiple possible partners, while some of us may not be meant for a romantic path (I actually thought I fell in this group, something I will share in Part 2). That’s fine and I don’t think it’s something we need to obsess about. Ultimately, having the right attitude and open mindset is what’s going to draw love into our life, not being hung up with notions and predispositions. In doing the former, that may well be what leads us to what we want and where we should be in the end. :)
Hey Celes, I think that like you say it might depend on the person and their life path. So it could be that some people have one true soulmate for them, who they meet up with in different lives and then others have more than one/so many potential partners who could become their soulmate. Or others could be in the third group you mentioned where their path isn’t a romantic one.
I find soulmates/soul connections interesting. I’ve read about Twin Flames but a lot of these connections seem to be quite painful and a lot of them don’t end up together. Supposedly in those cases the connection is more about helping you grow and find your own path rather than the actual relationship because you may never be together with your twin. A lot of these stories don’t seem very happy ones, so it’s nice to read about a positive soulmate relationship like yours and Ken’s. :)
It’s definitely a good idea to be open to different forms and manifestations of love and different people who could be “the one” or maybe “a one” if you have multiple partners! I think it’s great that you found your “one” in Ken. And it’s good to discuss this interesting topic on here. :)
Congratulations on your engagement again and happy to read your sharing. The “Dating Spree” part made me smile – it must’ve been such an interesting experience! Looking forward to Part 2!
Thank you Mikey!! :) Part 2 will be coming up in a couple of days! :)
Looking forward to part II :)
Thanks Maria!! :) Part 2 will be coming up later this week, so stay tuned! :)
just loved the pic<3
Thank you Zoe!! Me too! :)
Oh Yes. Waiting for it. Will you keep new pictures in all the series :p ?
Do you mean will Il be sharing new pictures in the series? Actually these pictures are only some of the many pictures from our engagement shoots. I’ll be writing a separate post showcasing our favorite pictures from our shoots. :)
Yes. Thats what i meant. :)
Hi Celes! I love your story here and feel very inspired by it. I’m looking forward to reading the rest and wish you many blessings with your upcoming marriage! :)
Aw thank you Christina!! :) Hope you will find the other parts of this series helpful then! :) I’m really excited to share my story with everyone and hope it both gives inspiration as well as actual, practical advice which people can take and act on in finding (more like attracting actually) the one for them in this life.
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s interesting to hear your experience. It helps to think that maybe it didn’t work out with someone in the past because you wouldn’t have been the right fit for each other in the future. Like you said, you wouldn’t have become who you are now if you’d got together. People say that you have to be vibrating on the same level as your soulmate to find them. And if it’s not the right time for you to be together, then you could meet and not recognise each other. But maybe in the future things will be different.
I’m looking forward to hearing Part 2 and your tips for attracting your soulmate. :)
Hey Moonsparkle, you can’t believe how much you are hitting jackpot with these statements, because that’s exactly the situation between me and Ken. Part of the reason why I’m so excited to share my story is because I feel it really exemplifies certain core messages I’ve always believed in, such as it takes being the right person to meet the “right person” (wherein the “right person” is up to you to define) and love is not something to be consciously pursued but rather, something that comes as a result of you pursuing your path. You’ll learn more in Part 2, where I share how he re-entered my life one fine day. :)
Hi Celes, I remember that you said you knew Ken before and then got back in touch with him. I think it’s good advice about being the right person to meet the “right person”. I’m looking forward to hearing more. :)
hi, ms. celes, Thank you for sharing your love story with us. I just want to ask does age matter when it comes to love?
Hey Janette, tricky question. My tendency is to say no because thinking in terms of age is a very limiting factor.
However, one’s consciousness does affect one’s cognition level in terms of love (i.e. being able to recognize if these are serious feelings or just puppy love), and one’s consciousness is typically tied to age, which is why most people keep associating older age with more mature love/relationships.
At the end of the day, I’m not sure if there is any merit in thinking “Oh, I’m too young now so I shouldn’t think about love” or “Oh, I’m too old now and hence am too late for love”. Just do whatever works for you and let your heart lead the way. Everyone needs to have their initial experiences with love to be more ready for higher-level relationships, so in the end it’s all a growth journey which needs to begin somewhere.
thanks Ms. Celes, I have a boyfriend who is 10 years older than me, actually he is my first boyfriend and hopefully will be my last. We haven’t tell anyone about our relationship because I’m afraid what other people might say to me or to him as well. (actually it’s my decision not to tell anyone yet). Another thing is he is my college instructor when I was still in 1st year college (1st semester) but during those college days we’re not close I don’t even talk to him unless if it’s about school matters and that time he has also a girlfriend. In short, We don’t have a feeling to each other that time. And after that semester, he move to other university to teach (very far from our place). After 3 years he came back to our place for a vacation and I’ve already graduated from college. And then one day, he saw his former student, who happened to be one of my classmate in college, he asked about me and for my number and then it all started. Right now, we enjoys each other company and we love each other. But until now, our family/friends, don’t know about our relationship status. My boyfriend wanted me to introduce me to his family/friends because he loves me very much he even told me that he wanted to grow old with me. What should I do? How should I tell to my family? How should I dwell with other people might say to us? please help me. Thanks a lot! =)
Enjoyed reading your story Celestine! You know how to get our attention. Can’t wait to read part 2!
Thanks Ha Hang! Part 2 will be coming up shortly this week! :) Stay tuned!
Engagement is such an important step in the life of a couple. Your story is very romantic
and I think that everything will be even better when you get married. After a
wedding my husband and I became closer and began to understand each other
better.
this is so sweet! you two are so cute together! ^_^ i look forward to this series
Aw thank you Kiki! :) I hope you will enjoy the other parts as well! :)
Hi! Ms. Celes, It’s me again Janette, I have a boyfriend who is 10 years older than me, actually he is my first boyfriend and hopefully will be my last. We haven’t tell anyone about our relationship because I’m afraid what other people might say to us. (actually it’s my decision not to tell anyone yet). Another thing is he is my college instructor before when I was still in 1st year college (1st semester) but during those college days we’re not close I don’t even talk to him unless if it’s about school matters and that time he has also a girlfriend. In short, We don’t have a feelings for each other. And after that semester, he move to other university to teach (very far from our place). After 3 years he came back to our place for a vacation and I’ve already graduated from college. And then one day, he saw his former student, who happened to be one of my classmates in college, he asked about me and my number and then that’s it all started. Right now, we enjoys each other company and we love each other. But until now, our family/friends, don’t know about our relationship status. My boyfriend wanted me to introduce me to his family/friends because he loves me very much he even told me that he wanted to grow old with me. What should I do? How should I tell to my family? How should I dwell with other people might say to us? please help me. Thanks a lot! =)
2 years ago i knew i met my soulmate. i was inlove with him the first time i saw him. Sparks were all over the place as I took a glance at his face. He was looking back at me. I just knew i had to do something to know his name and talk to him. I approached him and asked his name. He had the same name as my dad. lol. He spoke with an australian accent. Turns out he’s half filipino (im a filipina) who grew up in australia and just visiting the Philippines. Wow! That surprised me even more. We talked for hours and hours and found out so many common things about us. We talked until 6am and didnt even realize he had to go cos he made plans with his friends that morning. We exchanged numbers. We texted for a while but unfortunately, his phone got broken and i wasnt able to talk to him after that. He went back to Australia and i didnt know where to reach him. I didnt know where in australia he lived. And had no clue whatbwas gonna happen next just because we lost all kinds of communication.
I tried to move on with my life but i just couldnt forget that night. The universe gave me all signs that would make me remember him. Every where i looked, his name was there. Literally appearing everywhere. That went on for like a month and so i asked God why he was giving me all those signs but no sign of he himself. I was about to give up just cos my friends told me to move on from my fantasy that he is my soulmate. But I still prayed and prayed until one day, i opened my email and voila! An email coming from him. He said that he thought he lost my email address that he wrote on a piece of paper but after cleaning up his luggage, there it was just sitting and waiting to be found.
I told my friends about it and all of them were surprised. Somehow they believed that he could really be my soulmate because of what happened.
After that email from him, we never stopped talking to each other again. We talked everyday for 1 year. He visited me back in the philippines twice and were so inlove then. We even planned on having a family soon.
he then went back to australia and i noticed a big difference in him. He didnt message me in the morning anymore, he would text me in the afternoon saying he had a lot of things to do. Some days he wouldnt text me at all. I realized he must have fallen for someone else while waiting for me to go there. And he did. I was heartbroken and i never talked to him after that. Although he keeps on sending me messages that he doesnt want to lose me, what for right? He already has a girlfriend and i didnt want to be unfair to the girl. We went on our separate ways but until now i still think of him every day. And everytime i ask God for a sign, his name still pops right up. I always go to fortune tellers to ask for my future and everytime, he’s the guy that they keep on describing. I will marry a guy from another country. A filipino guy who was born here but raised in a different country. Etc etc. Even my friends already believe in soulmates even though they were skeptical at first. I just dont know what to believe anymore.
Anyway thats my very long and boring story. Lol. Sorry if i had to share it here. I just wanna let it out. Thanks!
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