“I want to find people with the same issues on personal growth in my town. My friends are not in this and I feel very alone. How can I find people, how can I address them, how can I maybe found a circle?” — Nicole
Hi Nicole! I gather your question relates to finding like-minded friends. How can one (a) find like-minded people and (b) befriend them?
There are many ways of finding like-minded friends. When I first started in my journey 3 years ago, it’s fair to say that none of the people I knew shared similar interests in personal development (at least not in the same intensity or capacity as I had). I also didn’t know anyone who was in the domain of blogging, coaching or speaking.
Today, however, I feel I’m surrounded by a lot of people with similar values and interests. I feel that I’m able to connect deeply with those around me, and talk about topics close to my heart. All of you reading Personal Excellence now would be an example of that. :D
It didn’t just happen magically, of course. It was a conscious effort on my part to make this happen.
The first thing I did was to think about the kind of people I wanted to meet. One, I wanted to meet more people who are driven about their growth – regardless of what they do. Two, since I was venturing into (a) blogging (b) coaching as a profession, I wanted to meet people who were in the fields too, for knowledge sharing and business development purposes.
After I identified who I wanted to meet, I brainstormed where I could *find* such people. After all, there are 7 billion people in the world – There have to be people who fit the profile of who I want to meet! The question was *how* to meet these people, and not whether these people exist – because they obviously do.
On an empirical level, I realized that to meet growth-oriented people, all I had to do was to pursue my goals and dreams relentlessly – and I would naturally attract/meet people who share similar visions in my path.
Specific to blogging, I looked out to the personal development blogosphere and contacted quite a few personal development bloggers to network with them. Quite a few of them responded, and from there I followed up duly and built on our relationships. It created the opening to contact each other if we ever needed any perspective or support. Specific to coaching, I joined a coaching skills workshop to learn more about coaching, while using it as an opportunity to meet fellow life coaches in the field. That I did, and while it ultimately was more of a nice-to-have action (vs. serving a pivotal role in my path), it helped me to make more like-minded minds, expand my network, and broaden my mindset.
There are many ways to start meeting like-minded people. First off, be clear on the kind of people you want to meet. If you’re interested to be a writer, perhaps you want to meet other writers. If you want to lose weight, perhaps you want to meet people who are conscious about their diets and exercise. Being clear of your criteria helps you to be laser focused in your efforts.
Next, think about where such people will hang out. Meet-up groups (such as Meetup.com) is a great way to get started. For example, I didn’t have any vegetarian friends at all when I adopted a vegetarian diet in 2008. It was through going to a vegetarian meet-up (via Meetup.com) that I made my first vegetarian friends — and I ended up being very good friends with some of them thereafter. Communities and recreational clubs are also another avenue to meet like-minded people. For example, people who go to salsa classes would have some inherent interest in salsa/dancing.
(This article shares seven different places you can meet more (like-minded) people: Cooped Up Indoors? Get a Life with These 7 Tips.)
It might feel intimidating at first, but you’ll find that once you take the first bold steps forward, things will start to fall into place one by one, and doors will open thereafter. After all, where the intention goes, the energy energy flows. If you set the intention to meet like-minded friends and you follow up with concrete action, it’s simply a matter of time before you meet said people who share similar values as you. Just keep at it and you will see results in time.
More useful reading:
- 10 Useful Tips To Make New Friends — Tips to foster new friendships
- How To Have More Best Friends in Your Life — Handy guide after you find a circle of like-minded friends