A screengrab from the Soul Sisters documentary
Hi everyone, hope you had a Merry Christmas! :D 2014 is coming to an end, and like with every year end, I post a year-end review to round up my year and encourage you guys to do the same. This year’s review is coming early as I’ll be kicking off a new challenge (Live a Healthier Life Challenge!!) on new year’s eve, but more on that later.
My Year-End Reviews from 2008–2013
First off, my past reviews since PE started. Can’t believe that it has been six years! :D
- End of 2008: Reflection, and Moving Onward to 2009
- 2009 Reflections: 2 Biggest Things I Learned, 15 Key Highlights and A Big Thank You To You
- My Review of 2010 (Big Thank You and Onward to 2011!)
- My Review of 2011 (And Moving On To 2012!)
- My 2012 in Review A Year of New Milestones, Creation of My Self-Identity, and New Beginnings
- My 2013 in Review, and Happy New Year 2014!! :)
My 2014 in Review: Sabbatical Year
Despite my work-related goals for 2014, this year turned out to be a sabbatical year. Namely because most of my time went into first my wedding, then house moving, then easing into my new life with Ken as a married couple, then adapting to life with two cats, and then unexpectedly falling sick for the whole of December.
Let’s start with my wedding. :) After months of meticulous planning, I’m proud to share that I got married on May 25 this year with my soulmate Ken Soh in an exclusive ceremony in Shangri-La. :) The wedding was perfect and every bit our dream wedding (really, that we’re marrying each other already makes any setup our dream wedding), though there were hiccups that made me discover new things about people in general (which I’m sure every wedding couple goes through).
I’ve yet to share my wedding pictures though, and I’m so sorry! I wanted to do this right after the wedding, but our studio took a while to revert with the footage that by the time they did, the momentum was lost and I had my hands full with other things. I still want to share this very special day of my life with you guys though, so I hope you’ll be patient enough to wait till Jan-Feb where I’ll be publishing a wedding series. Stay tuned! :) (Update: My wedding pictures are now up! Read: My Wedding Day (series))
Next — Ken and I finally got our own home! :) It’s a resale flat and we moved in in July, after which we spent a good three months turning it into our ideal home. Ken did all the hard labor (painting, drilling) while I managed the fine touches (furniture sourcing, color-coordination, and creating a homely home). We’re living here now and loving every bit of it. :) (Check out tour of my new workroom: My Workroom Tour + Create Your Inspirational Workspace! [Video])
Last but not least, if you’ve been following me on Facebook… we got two cats!!! =D We actually didn’t adopt them — they found us by suddenly appearing in our home one day. (Or rather, one of them did — we found the second one a few days later while looking for the first one, and subsequently realized they are brothers!) One thing led to the next and soon, both of them became our pets. :) Here’s a picture of our little boys:
Our cats: Kiki (on the left) and Nancy (on the right) in one of their usual sparring matches. :) Kiki likes to wave his tail rapidly, so you can’t see it here (it’s a blur). They are really beautiful and handsome cats, only a year old each!
The funny thing is that I’ve always mentioned an interest in having a pet/kitten since my early 20s, and I guess this wish manifested itself! :)
Key Reflection Point for 2014: Distractions
So while I’ve been busy patting the foundations of my personal life in place, I haven’t gotten much accomplished in my work goals. By “work,” I really mean the Q2 I’ve planned to do this year like creating more videos and content, because I’ve been doing the usual of coaching, conducting courses, writing articles (though not as frequently as I want), and managing the daily ins-and-outs of my business. (And then there was the first quarter of 2014 when I was busy writing my book.)
And it wasn’t that I didn’t have the time (I always think of us having the same amount of time as Einstein or Oprah) but that I had been facing too many distractions.
What do I mean? When I started my blog/business in 2008, my vision was clear: to reach out to everyone in the world and lift them up to their highest potential. This vision remains the same today and it has been clear to me every day for the past six years.
But there’s a difference between then and today: while I could singly focus on my passion in the past (after quitting my job, cutting out naysayers, etc.), today I face a huge wave of distractions daily. These distractions have made it difficult, if not impossible sometimes, to focus on my Q2 the way I used to before. They include
- Unsolicited emails from people and businesses for X and Y request (most common ones being to join some new ad network, to place some link in my articles in exchange for money (no thank you), to sign up for some spammy-looking SEO service, to publish so-and-so’s article/infographic, to review so-and-so’s app/book, to promote some new business’ service, and so on)
- Unsolicited emails from having my public business email (unethically) added to mailing lists without my consent
- Troll comments on my blog, YouTube channel, or Facebook
- Non-troll but unconstructive (and negative) comments on my blog, YouTube channel, or Facebook, usually a reflection of the person’s consciousness
- Real-life trolls who appear nice but turn out to be trolls later
- People/businesses with shady practices who operate in my industry or an adjacent one
- Constant business collaboration requests, most of which are incompatible
- Constant requests competing for my help, time, and/or advice, which wouldn’t be an issue if not for the sheer volume of them (basically every single person who reads PE or have been in contact with me before)
In the beginning, I dealt with these distractions pretty well by having tighter guidelines on my contact page, having a FAQs page, limiting my communication channels (switching from a Facebook profile to a FB page for one), having a system of email filters, saying no often, having tight spam filters in my comments form, and so on. While distractions would still “leak” here and there, I could quickly clear things up by being efficient.
However, over the years, more and more distractions began to “leak.” Every time they did, I would try to mitigate the leaks. But then, more would come. And more. And more. And more. To the point where I became so busy dealing with these distractions on a daily basis that I no longer had time mind space for my high-level work.
More importantly, it reached a point where I became afraid to grow my blog further, because I felt the more I cared and the more I grew PE, the more comments / requests / “noise” I would receive, and the less time I would have for anything in my life, including myself and my needs.
Have you heard of Dunbar’s number? It’s a number that reflects the cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships (these are relationships in which an individual knows each person and how each person relates to every other person). Anthropologist Robin Dunbar proposed that humans can only comfortably maintain 150 stable relationships. Numbers larger than this “generally require more restrictive rules, laws, and enforced norms to maintain a stable, cohesive group.”
As I think back, I realize my problem is that I have exceeded this number since long ago. If you think about it, the very essence of my work involves connecting with others and uniting the world as one. With every person I connect with (be it a reader, a client, a workshop/course participant, etc.), I will always make an effort to build a deep personal connection with him/her and help the person where I can, in my capacity. If you consider the number of coaching clients I’ve had before (that’s several hundred), workshop participants (easily in the thousands range), and readers (gosh, where do I begin?), that easily adds up to at least 10,000. And I haven’t even added my own family members, close friends, friends, ex-colleagues, PE forum community, and people I’ve met and built a close relationship with during my travels, which easily add up to 400–500.
So then, I began to experience a system overload in terms of my relationships. This probably started about 2012, and began to build up over the years. Suddenly, I began to have requests flying in left right and center (be it requests for help, requests for collaboration, requests for my time, etc.), all of which I felt I needed to address with certain detail in other not to let the other person down. Suddenly, I felt like I needed to care about every single person whom I’ve crossed paths with (say a past client, a past workshop participant, a reader, or acquaintance), or I’ll be neglecting my mission. Suddenly, I felt like I needed to care about anything and everything in the world, or I’d not be living true to myself and my values.
The result is that it nearly drove me to insanity. And also caused me to neglect the biggest relationship of it all: my relationship with PE, i.e. my relationship with you guys.
And this is a problem. A big problem.
For you guys are the reason why I started all this, why I started this platform: to help everyone grow and to achieve our highest potential. And while I’ll still endeavor to be there for anyone who seeks my help, I’ve realized that amidst it all, I must never neglect this utmost precious relationship between me and you guys. Because if PE ceased to exist, then how were we to continue to grow together and support each other in life?
Now as I continue to reach out to more people, more distractions will probably follow. But that’s okay. The difference now is that I now know these distractions aren’t the key. Even if I am to get 100 or 1000 distractions next week, they should never take up the bulk of my time or mind space — building PE and creating high-value content for you should.
The second important realization I’ve come to is that having these distractions isn’t necessarily a bad thing. While I used to think of the distractions as exhausting, I now realize that they are simply a natural consequence (an easter egg as I mentioned in my incubation period post) from making some headway in my path. As opposed to resisting the “distractions,” I should embrace them and recognize them as part of the journey.
This brings me to my key realizations for 2014 (regarding PE):
- I can never please everyone. Start with myself and my mission, and work my way from there.
- Always do my best in everything, but never neglect my core in the process.
- The distractions I’m facing are just a natural consequence of growth and success in my path. Do not resist them; rather, accept them as part of my reality. Realize they are really positive indicators, not negative ones.
- My core is and should always be to build new content and to share my best insights on growth with the world, because it’s the heart and soul of what PE is about.
My Goals Moving Forward
This brings me to my goals for next year. :D While I’ve multiple PE goals, I’d say they all ladder up to this one big goal: to create new content not unlike my initial years. I plan to be creating content in two main forms: articles and videos.
If you guys have been following my past annual reviews, I started living a life of intuition since 2012. Meaning no specific goals, just living by intuition and intention. And while this has really helped me to live in the now and be more conscious to the world out there, ultimately I have realized that living a life of maximum fulfillment and results is about both embracing our intuition AND setting hard goals based on our highest vision. That’s because while being in tune with our intuition helps us to stay connected with our higher thinking and remain in our highest consciousness, it’s our goals that help us to channel our energy into creating concrete results.
I’ve already worked out a project guidebook for myself in terms of my blog development and video channel development (it’s something I used to do in my early years but stopped after I started to live only by intuition). I’m pretty excited at how next year is going to be, so stay connected with PE for the developments. :)
In the meantime, I’m proud to announce my first initiative of 2015 which will be a 14-Day Healthy Living Challenge for Jan 2015!! Healthy Living Challenge is a challenge I started in 2011 with much success, conducted again in 2012, but didn’t do so for 2013 and 2014 as I had other things going on then.
Now, holiday season is one where most of our diets and exercise regimes fall off track, so if living healthier is in line with your personal goals, you need to be a part of this. Get the details and sign up free here: 14-Day Healthy Living Challenge, Starting Jan 1!
How About You: Have You Done Your Year-End Review?
A year-end review is great to reflect on how your year went, identify lessons for the future, and set new goals for the new year. If you haven’t done yours, I encourage you to do so. How did your 2014 go? What are your key lessons for the year? What are your goals for 2015?
Check out these posts as you do your year-end review and set your resolutions:
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Congratulations on your accomplishments coach! I named you my life coach a long time ago because you changed it positively. I too did my year review on my own but it’s really long. I learned so many things last year. Some of them are 1.You can’t force love, you cannot let it be forced on you. 2. It’s okay to be hurt and depressed as long as you get back up from them. 3. I decided to work on my own self and follow some of my dreams that I couldn’t do before because I didn’t know how to, now I am and I sucked at them but they make me happy and my childhood self would be proud of me because they are her dreams. It’s also a good way to o forg et about everything else that depresses me. 4. I know that sometimes when you want to change and invite your love ones they are not at that point in their lives so it’s okay to be alone in it because it is my time to change and someday theirs will come. 5. My goal for last year was to play a game of life every day and one day I couldn’t play it because the computer failed me. I was so sad but I realized later that it’s okay too as long as I do my part and even if I don’t it’s okay I am not perfect. I can’t do it all daily the way I wanted. So 4 times a week for any goal is my least days to do something. If I can the whole week. 6.Life is hard and it would not be worth it if it’s not challenging. Even though I didn’t play every day I accomplished my goal by playing a few days every month. I am satisfied.
Thanks, thanks thanks!
Reading your year-end review and how you put down your words I come to realize how much you brought to my life, the new way I began to take thanks to your own view of life!
Love to read how your life unfolds.
I hope your getting better by now the end of December.
I did my year end review for the 1st time from my own impulse :)
Congrats on your wedding, new home and a cute cat couple! Big life events / changes in a short time.
PE has been my inspiraiton since 2012, with your help, Celes, I am becoming my best and I am happy that purpose of PE remains :) You are a mentor to all of us.
I love animals so much. I was the happiest in 2000 when I got a dog, and the saddest in 2014 when I had to say goodbye to her. So one of my lessons were that dogs really give us unconditional love, are there for us no matter what and they enrich our lives.
Other key lessons in 2014 for me were: it’s ok to have an opinion and to say it out loud. It is ok to stand up for myself. It is ok to be vulnerable. It is ok to make mistakes and not to be perfect. It is not enough just to set goals, I have to put my energy and focus into action and find my inner motivation, because motivation from outside will lose its power; and at that point I usually give up, forget on my goals (big or small). Never give up. Setting goals creates opportunities (or I just see them more clearly) – it s up to me to take it. Sometimes I do not feel like taking it :) I rather stay in my comfort zone. Goals can manifest itself when least expected. Energy from anxiety or anger or other feelings can be transformed into something positive. I should put more of my time into things that makes me happy. It is not about what others do or say, it is all about how I see it and react to it – so change starts with me (handling with myself, not others). Reach out. Recognize distractions. Apply the useful tools for personal development.
I haven’t set all of the goals for 2015, but some of them are: master typing, improve my knowledge, spend more money on experiences / adventures, spend less / no money on clothing, stand up for myself when needed, in relationships act in a way that will make me feel good about myself (put myself first for a change), spend more time in nature and doing things that make me happy, create my business, run 10 km, continue early rising, meditate every day, socialise more.
Guys, I wish you all happy 2015 and lots of joy on your path to fulfilment of your desires!
And here is my 2015 vision board :)
Miss Elf, this is AMAZING!!! So inspiring! Are you printing it out and putting it up somewhere? Or setting it on your wallpaper?
On typing, not sure if this will be in your interest. I type fast myself but this has improved my efficiency by a whole level. I recently shared this with a coaching client and he fell in love with it! https://personalexcellence.co/blog/texter/
(PS: Small note on the word “conscious” in “Spend money conciously,” seems like there’s a typo there!)
Thank you :) I am printing it out – one for my board at my desk and one smaller for putting it right after the front page of my schedule planner (I use the ones with A5 format, it is like a mini book). I use the vision board also for the computer backround (wallpaper) – whole vision board or just single pictures. Single pictures are also a backround for my mobile phone. I am taking this seriously :) Because it works.
Yes, I use Texter and I love it (the same goes for “always on top”)! I wish to find and download a typing programe/course that will help me to learn to type with all of my fingers and with no looking on the keyboard while typing.
Ups, the “s” is missing in the consciously. I have troubles with remembering that word :)
What an honest look at your previous year! I’m so happy that so much of your year was positive (especially getting married, having a new home, and new pets)! Also sorry to hear about the distractions – to be honest, I was a bit surprised to see that this was a big obstacle for you, but I love what you were able to learn from it, and I’m so glad you know what you need to do to overcome it.
Reading your year-end review sent me on a bit of a reading-spree, and I’ve got a new-found energy towards approaching the new year! I was reading a few articles from your “Passion or Money?” series, and I especially liked your article about a “Passion Paycheck.” It reminded me about the importance of doing what you love and being happy because of it, and how the value of what you get in return from doing what you love is so much more than getting paid for doing something you’re not in love with.
I’m super-inspired now to reassess my life purpose (I’ve never hit that deep, emotional resonance, which is why I like to try and “(re)discover” it every so often), and come up with a plan to utilize my purpose into something I can be truly passionate about! I’m not sure what it was about that Passion Paycheck article, but it reminded me of the excitement that I want to feel by getting results in doing something that is deeply meaningful to me.
I’ve done my yearly review, and my next steps are to update/clean up my Life Handbook (I’m not sure if that is an article that you’d ever feel a need to come back to, but I’ve always been curious to get a better glimpse into how you organize/utilize yours!), catch up with the Passive Income course, and discover my life purpose so that I can plan my best year yet!
PS: How is it having two cats as pets? I’ve never had cats, but I’ve been curious as I think I may want to have a cat or two if I move into an apartment by myself one day! =) I only say “two” because I heard that a single cat could get lonely if there’s no one in the house for most of the day, as would be the case with me as I currently work during the day. Just curious!
Calae, I think that’s so great that this article somehow sent you on a reading spree! I consider the Passion Paycheck one of my favorite early articles regarding pursuing one’s passion, because it really shows the importance of taking the first step and recognizing AND giving credit to one’s initial signs of success. (So pretty much like the easter eggs in the incubation period.)
A lot of readers often mention their interest in how I do my handbook! And honestly it’ll bore the heck out of anyone for me to show mine (though I don’t show mine more because (a) there isn’t a point and the handbook pictures I included in 30DLBL really illustrate my concept of a handbook much easier/better, and (b) the private information inside), because it’s nothing more than an excel workbook with a few tabs, that’s all. And inside it’s just cells and cells of information. And the information that’s inside is exactly what I talk about in the article, re: including your life purpose, your values, your goals, your blind spots, your 5-/3-/1-year goals, and other information.
I’m excited in working on the remaining half of the P.I. course with you and the other participants! Hope you’ll be able to attend the live classes for Modules 4-6! :)
On the two cats, it’s amazing! They’re really independent so it’s been quite easy taking care of them. Initially there was a lot of “teaching” and adjustment to do, for example they would scratch our sofa and bed cushion and they would keep meowing when they need to poop/pee (Ken decided against having kitty litter in the house due to the smell), but now they don’t do any of that anymore, and they know to poop/pee outside before returning home (we let them roam in the neighborhood). We didn’t consciously decide to get two, but now thinking about it it does seem like a better set up because they can play with themselves.
I think if you do get a cat one day, and if you want to get two, may be a better idea to get them while they’re young so they can acquaint with each other. Cats are VERY territorial, and introducing a new cat into the household can often be very stressful for both of them. I read that sometimes things don’t work out and they have to take the new cat back, and even if it works out (i.e. there’s no continual fighting), it may not mean nothing is wrong. I read an article before about how cats can end up with abnormally high adrenaline levels when living with other adult cats (even though there aren’t fights/conflicts), which then leads to a weaker health / shorter life span in the long run.
Great review post and very happy for your personal as well as professional successes. But I wondered, when it comes too all those distractions (similar to stuff Steve Pavlina once wrote about) – why not get a virtual PA? Maybe someone you can also mentor/grow with who can filter out all the noise.
I do have a VA team working with me; ultimately if I have a PA though, I’d much rather prefer a person I can work with in real life than virtual-based. But the “problem” I’m facing will not get solved with having a PA; it may mitigate it by 1-2% but the root will still be there in the end. For Steve Pavlina, I believe his own solution was (partly) him closing off all forms of unwanted communication channels, from closing his forums, his blog comments, his contact form (which he later reopened perhaps for professional/work reasons), shutting off his social media platforms (Twitter, YouTube, Google, Facebook), etc. So effectively he became someone sharing his knowledge with the world but not exactly building a community or engaging with the world (the online world at least). Which is great for him because he found his ideal sweet spot, but this isn’t really in line with my vision for me and my work, so I haven’t opted for this path yet.
I’ve also realized that I much prefer creating a setup where it’s as hands-off and self-managed as possible (a passive income business, something I talk about in my P.I. course), which is why I personally don’t want to hire any permanent ongoing staff because it’ll require managing them on a certain level, which isn’t what I want in my work.
I think if I expand so massively the next time and have significant overhead that’ll make sense for me to hire a PA, for sure I’ll be doing that then! For now the situation is holding itself fairly well with streamlining and automating, whereas the “issue” I was dealing with before was more mental and a case of personal self-alignment than any physical adjustment/action I needed to take externally.
I’m curious about the project guidebook you mentioned. I assume it’s a little like a life handbook, only for goals and projects? Could you share how it’s used for?
It’s a personal document I create listing my work goals, plans for the goals, to-do lists, etc. Pretty much like the life handbook but for goals and projects, like you said! In the life handbook article I encourage people to list their goals in their handbook too, so this project guidebook is more like an expansion of the goals sub-section in a life handbook.
Your cats look cute! I’ve got 2 myself. :) Congratulations on your new home. I’m looking forward to seeing your wedding pics. :) Hope you had a good Christmas and Happy New Year to you and Ken!
Thank you Moonsparkle, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas too and an amazing New Year ahead!! :D
Have you tried directing people towards the PE forums? Maybe send a generic message that there is a long queue for questions to you (assuming you still do Ask Celes) but that they can get a quick reply from the helpful community if they post on the forums. That way, you can help more people by simply giving them a space where they can get help/encouragement :D
Also, weren’t you planning something like a PE School at one time? Was the idea to coach more people to be coaches, to again help more people?
Outsourcing ;)
I did the coach coaches / manage a team of coaches thing in the second year of my business for 6 months or so, but I quickly realized it doesn’t match my personal vision. Ultimately my vision is to “coach” everyone to be their best self-coach, and this means sharing my lessons on PE to help people achieve their self-realization and self-evolution (as opposed to coaching people to coach others). Managing a team of people simply isn’t something I’m interested in so that’s not something I’ll be doing too.
I’ve been outsourcing since 2012 (and I continue to outsource today) but much of the problem (the distractions thing) that can be mitigated through outsourcing has already been mitigated. Someone in my Facebook suggested hiring a PA, but my response was it’ll at most mitigate 1-2% of the issue. A simple example is say, all the comments that I receive on PE blog — it’s either I reply them (especially if there’s a question or comment that requires addressing) or I ignore them, I’m not about to ask my PA or some ghost person to answer those comments on the blog on behalf of me. There are over 600 posts on PE, and every post is open for commenting even the 2009 articles, and many of them continue to get replies every day actually. And replying takes time, especially sharing something that’s properly thought out (since I don’t want to type some shabby response). Most popular blogs either completely remove commenting on their blog or they only reply selected comments to their latest post but not the rest. Neither is the approach I want to take though (for now anyway) because I do want a channel to connect with others personally and I believe everyone’s response on PE deserves some form of reply where I can help it.
Another example is say, if a past coaching client or workshop participant (and about hundreds of them have my contact, many have my personal number) asks for my quick assistance or even for a meetup which takes a chunk of time — I’ve to address it personally and it’s not something I can outsource or ask a PA to handle, because IMO it’s pretty insincere to be in personal touch with someone when the person is paying for your service and then to differ him/her to a PA or third party when the service is over. As I do strive to inject the personal touch in much of my work, this is what has been causing the overload (and hence the Dunbar’s number that I mentioned in the post).
I definitely do direct people to the PE forums on an ongoing basis! I hope more people can join the PEF, I think they’ll really get great energy from being in company of people like you, Lina, and everyone else there. :)
Just wanna be the first one to say i am so happy for you with a great 2014!
Thank you Fenix!! :)
Congratulation for HAPPY MArriage,for NEW Home And Best of Luck For NEW Beginning and FOR NEW YEAr. ( V Believe that Luck is 100% Hard work, Struggle & Preparation).
Hi Celes, quite interesting to read about all your distractions! In order to avoid similar distractions I sometimes just want to remove all access to the internet and live as I did 20 or so years ago. But it would be difficult to achieve and would kill my business!
My 2014 was going well until I fractured my leg and foot around the end of October. And as a result, my goal for 2015 is just to be able to walk normally again without any pain, in my foot especially. Although I seem to be building more upper body strength from the crutches
I did my year end review last week. Although it is too long to post in this forum, the key realization was that I have the strength and tools to handle what comes my way. This year my home was nearly destroyed by a natural disaster, costing thousand of dollars to re-assemble, and then my beloved doggy Cody had a spine injury and became paralyzed. His only hope of walking was spine surgery costing thousands of dollars. Both disasters nearly wiped me out emotionally and financially. But now, my home is rebuilt and my dog is walking again after 3 months of paralysis. Both disasters taught me to have faith in the natural healing process and to expect good things from the universe. I now know that negative thinking, thinking that things will never get better, is neither helpful, nor true. The next disaster that I must face, whatever it may be, I will face with the positive thought that I will get through it, because I got through the last two disasters, and I found out that things do work out.
Celes, my thanks to you again, for your insights which have changed my life in so many positive ways. Always, I send you my best wishes across half the world.
Susan, I’m so terribly sorry to hear about both disasters. At the same time I’m really happy to hear that your house is now rebuilt and Cody is walking. You truly illustrate the importance of faith and simply knowing that good things will come our way as long as we keep taking positive action.
Also, the positive thing is that both disasters could be salvaged/mitigated with money, though obviously it was at a huge cost. But I’m really glad that things are well now. When I was reading the start of your comment, I had a sinking feeling that Cody might not be around. I’m so glad to know that he’s walking and well now!
Last but not least, thank you for your beautiful words Susan. You’re a kind angel and it’s really my blessing to have you here in the community. Thank you for reading PE and being here with me in this journey.
I feel strenght in your words, I felt deeply upset when reading your story. I do think that your positive vision helped you to have the inner power to go on so I feel proud for what you could achieve facing these hard times.
Have a nice end of the year.
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