Kindness Challenge Day 12: Forgive Someone

This is Day 12 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge held in Nov 2012, where we do different acts of kindness for 14 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.

Hello everyone! :D Welcome to Day 12 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge! ;)

Day 12: Forgiveness

What is forgiveness?

It means “to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.)” and “to cease to feel resentment against”.

Like anyone, there are some people whom I habor negative sentiments toward. It’s not common, but it happens. Usually it’s because they violated some of my personal values.

For example, when a business contact used the guise of a friendship to get a business contact, to further his business goals. I was turned off by the way the person used the connection to further his business objective, while not thinking about what he could do to add value to the relationship. I later learned from other people that this person had a reputation for such antics. The reason why I was turned off was because his approach violated my personal value of authenticity, which is about being upfront and sincere in your communication.

Another example is a friend I mentioned in part 2 of my anger series. She was rude and callous in the way she handled a conflict and displayed an extremely ugly side of herself during the argument. I could not help but feel hurt by her behavior in the final moments of the friendship, before I realized that this is not a person I want to communicate with anymore.

Like me, I’m sure you have people you harbor resentment towards. People you feel aggrieved by.

Well, today’s task is about forgiveness. Part of kindness is about forgiving other people, even when it doesn’t seem like there is a reason to do so. I have deliberately scheduled this task for Day 12 as it is mentally more “challenging” than a task like say, hugging, giving a compliment, or picking up litter.

I’m ready to take up the challenge and forgive the people I just mentioned above (and more). Are you?

Your Task: Forgive Someone

Level 1: Forgive one person

1. Identify a person whom you resent or bear grievances towards. The grievance can be over one small action he/she did or something serious (such as breaking a promise or cheating on you).
2. Why do you bear grievances towards him/her? Write down the reasons on a piece of paper, for your personal reflection.
3. Work on letting go of these grievances today.

Level 2: Forgive at least three people

Do the exercise above to at least three people. The more people you can forgive today, the better. I’m planning to identify more people (on top of the three people I have mentioned) to forgive later today.

Remember that Forgiving Others = Forgiving Yourself

Here are some quotes on forgiveness which I’d like to share with you:

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” — Lewis Smedes

“The past can’t be changed, can it? It can just be forgiven.” — Elizabeth George

For those of you who own Be a Better Me in 30 Days, check out Day 26: Forgive Yourself while you’re at it. The task is about forgiving yourself (which I see as interrelated with forgiving others) and includes a step-by-step exercise on how you can go about doing it. Many participants achieve breakthroughs when doing that exercise.

Share Your Results!

How many people have you forgiven today? Who are they and what did you used to resent them for? How have you forgiven them?

Check out the responses of other participants in the comments section!

After you are done, proceed to Day 13: Give Someone a Treat!

(Images: Hands holding red seeds, Girl looking at her hands and reminiscing, in pain)