I’m Depressed About My Lack of Progress in Life. What Should I Do?

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Note from Celes: Hi everyone! I just finished the latest edition of 30DLBL and I’m finally back to posting at the blog. Thank you to everyone who sent me a message since my last update — it means so much to me. I look forward to sharing more! :) ❤️

“Hi Celes, I often feel depressed and regretful about my lack of progress in life. Honestly I am angry and bitter about it. This creates a lot of anxiety for me and I think it’s a big source of my procrastination. What can I do about this?” — M

Have you ever felt depressed about your lack of progress in life? Do you wish that you could be doing more and achieving more?

If so, I totally understand. In my last update, I shared that I stepped away from my blog for the past few years to raise my baby and support my family through a series of challenges. During this time, my career came to a stop, and for a while I felt like I was making no progress in life.

But progress comes in many ways. Just because you feel like you haven’t made progress doesn’t mean that it’s true. If you have been feeling discouraged by a lack of progress lately, here are 5 things for you to consider.

1) Redefine the meaning of progress

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Firstly, define “progress.” What is progress to you? Is it to achieve huge success in your career? Earn lots of money? Buy a nice house? Travel around the world? Pursue your passion? Or something else?

Looking up the word “progress,” it means forward movement toward a destination.^[1] Perhaps you have a vision of where you want to be by age 30 or 40 or 50, such as to be at the peak of your career, earn lots of money, have a nice house, and start a family.

Conventional society tells us to set big goals and pursue them relentlessly. While such big goal setting is important — I do it myself and teach it in my courses — there are times when it needs to take a back seat as other life areas (e.g., family and health) require our attention.

While it may look like you’re not progressing during these times, you are progressing — just in a different way. For example:

• Taking a work hiatus to raise your kids — that’s progress, in your family.
• Taking a break to address health issues — that’s progress, in your health.
• Taking time out to tackle personal problems — that’s progress, in your mental health and happiness.
• Taking time to overcome obstacles and setbacks — that’s progress in your goal and life as you learn about what works and doesn’t work.

My lack of progress in career (From life challenges)

In my 2024 update, I shared that I had to stop my career for the past five years to support my family through a series of deep challenges. These included my mother-in-law’s illness and later passing, my husband’s continuous health issues, raising my baby without help, and uprooting my life and moving my family overseas from Singapore to the UK, all while going through the pandemic.

While my career came to a stop, I made progress in other ways.

• I see my child growing every day, and that’s progress to me.
• I see my husband growing in his career, and that’s progress to me too.
• I have also made progress in my health by (a) uncovering the root cause of my health issues (which turned out to be toxic dental work such as mercury fillings and root canals), and (b) learning about natural healing which I now use to heal myself.

Very importantly, I saw all these as a temporary hiatus to work on pressing life issues for the time being, with the end goal of returning to my passion — to grow and help you achieve your highest potential.

For you, what have you been working on? Family? Health? Relationships? Mental Health? There are many types of progress in life beyond career and financial growth. While society tends to focus on these two things, there are other things (e.g., family, health, relationships) that are just as important to live a meaningful life. The progress that you make in other areas is progress too, so remember that.

There are many areas that are important in our life, beyond career and money. Read: The Life Wheel (Image: Personal Excellence)

2) Recognize that life isn’t a straight line

(From: Your Plans vs. Universe’s Plans For You)

Many people expect to progress in life without major setbacks. Set a goal and get from Point A to Point B without issue. Celebrate. Rinse and repeat.

But life isn’t always a straight line. In life there are ups and downs, setbacks and difficulties. The downs can be difficulties with a goal, or unexpected life obstacles such as illness, a painful breakup, or death and loss.

In case you think that everyone is having a great life, remember that what you see in the media and social media is often heavily filtered. Many people face difficulties, just that they don’t show it. In my 2024 update I shared that I have been working through family challenges and health issues caused by toxic dental work. Some of these issues are ongoing and it can be a struggle managing motherhood without help, working through my husband’s issues, and now returning to work in a highly challenging online environment (see Point #4).

Many celebrities face life challenges too, though most may not be sympathetic to their situations due to their immense success and wealth.

• Ashton Kutcher struggled with a rare disease that left him unable to see, hear, and walk for a year in 2020. He healed after treatment and physical training.^[2][3]
• Wendy Williams was a successful talk show host and lived a glamorous life in the 2010s. But she was dealing with her husband’s infidelity and alcohol addiction behind the scenes^[4][5], and is recently diagnosed with early-onset dementia.^[6][7]
• Kate Middleton is a public icon and looks picture perfect all the time, smiling and radiant. But in 2024 she shared that she had cancer at the age of 42 and was going through treatment^[8] (she is now in remission^[9]).

The media and social media tend to present an idealized image of people’s lives, which gives the impression that everyone’s life is perfect. The truth is that many people are going through obstacles, whether in health, relationships, family, money, or career. Know that you are not alone and we are all going through this together. ❤️

3) Goals take time (Set milestones)

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Many people think that goals can happen right away and become disappointed when they don’t. The reality is that goals take time. Depending on the goal, it can take weeks, months, or even years.

Evan Spiegel launched Snapchat in 2011 as a niche app for disappearing messages. It initially struggled to gain traction, due to intense competition from other established platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Spiegel and his team kept innovating, introducing new features like Stories and augmented reality lenses, before reaching mainstream success. Today, Snapchat is one of the top 10 social platforms with millions of users.^[10][11][12]

Snapchat’s daily active users over time (2014-2024) (Image)

Jack Ma faced many rejections over and over before founding Alibaba, an e-commerce company.

• When he applied for a job at KFC in 1995, he was the only person out of 24 applicants who didn’t get the job.
• He applied to Harvard 10 times but got rejected each time.
• He also applied to the police force and was the only one out of five applicants who didn’t get accepted.
• He had various failed business ventures, including a translation business, a directory service, and a restaurant.

In 1999, Ma started Alibaba and faced significant struggle as people were skeptical about online shopping then and the internet infrastructure in China was not developed. It took persistence to overcome these struggles, and today, Alibaba is a global corporation with over US$130 billion in annual revenue.^{[13][14][15][16][17]}

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A seed takes time to grow into a tree. A goal takes time as you work through its obstacles. Think of it as a journey. Break your goal down into small milestones, and then tackle them one by one.

E.g., if your goal is to create a successful podcast, rather than feel discouraged that your listener count isn’t skyrocketing, set milestones to get there. Such as getting your first 100 listeners, then 200 listeners, then 500 listeners, and so on.

Example: Milestones for a podcast goal (Image: Personal Excellence)

Know that there’s an incubation period for our goals — a period of time between taking action and seeing results. While it may seem like nothing is happening, something is happening. You just need to be patient while you work toward your goal.

If you can’t reach a milestone after some time, understand why. Do a review to see what’s working, what’s not working, and what to do differently. Then, try again. Keep improving your plan and it’s a matter of time before you see results.

Read: Days 5-7 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days (Create an Action Plan, Take Action, and Review)

4) Understand what’s causing the lack of progress

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If you have been facing too many setbacks, you feel burnt out, or you keep repeating the same mistakes, then you are likely hitting a wall.

Hitting a wall is a situation where you can’t progress no matter how hard you try. It can happen for various reasons, such as lacking the knowledge or skills to advance, having an ineffective strategy, not having a clear goal, or perfectionism. Stop to figure out what the issue is and address it.

My lack of progress in writing (Feeling disconnected from blogging)

After my daughter started school at 4.5 years old, I slowly resumed work while juggling my mom duties. While I was eager to reconnect with you guys and had so much to share, I faced a rut despite spending hours writing each week.

After digging into it, I realized that I was feeling disconnected from blogging as a platform. I started making websites in 1998 and PE in 2008, and the online space has changed so much — and not necessarily in a good way.

• In terms of web development, new things would roll out constantly, causing current things to break. I would constantly be fixing issues and code at my website. Managing a website has become overly complicated today, unlike in the early 2010s.
• Online exchanges have become highly negative and critical, when they used to be positive and encouraging. People just became very irritable and angry online, and this is reflected in the comments and emails I would get via PE.
• While the internet used to be a place where people formed meaningful connections and discovered new things, now it’s filled with bots, spam, and profit-driven businesses. The online world has become a huge, commercialized marketplace, and we have become a product constantly targeted at by ads, algorithms, and businesses.
• There is now a proliferation of AI content in recent years, with AI bots being built on the stolen work of artists and blogs like PE, without giving credit.
• Google and social media algorithms have shifted to prioritize big brands and sponsored content.^[18] Big Tech have taken over the online space, and not in a good way.

I’ve written about these issues over the years:

• Challenges I’m Facing Today (2018)
• Closing Blog Comments at PE (2015)
• Closure of PE Forums (2016)
• Feeling Disconnected (2016)
• How To Deal With Disillusionment As You Grow Older (2017)
• Why I Deleted My Facebook Page With 20,800 Likes (2016)
• Why I Deleted My Twitter Account With 7,000 Followers (2018)

Having been online since the 1990s, I feel that the internet has become sterile, negative, and over-commercialized, compared to the past when it was a space for authentic conversations and positive learning.

Feeling disconnected from the online world (Image)

There is also a huge backlog of work from my time away. Tons of content to update. Things to change in my business due to changes in the online space. New tax laws and regulations to learn as I have moved to a different country. And juggling of endless mom duties without family help, and a conflict between these duties and what I need to do to build a successful blog/business.

There is no easy fix and it’s about understanding the issues and working on them step by step.

One big step I have taken is to go back to the basics. To focusing on connecting with you. Just you. Just like when I first started.

In the past months, I did major restructuring of my business, cut out redundant costs, and simplified my website backend to return to my core focus of writing. I have been updating many past articles at PE, and just finished a big update of 30DLBL. I’ve also reopened blog comments (as a trial) and will see how it works out — I miss connecting with you guys. 🌺

Whether it’s AI, bots, or spam, my end goal is to support you in your growth. All these are just noises and I need to find ways to push them away. And I feel excited to return to writing and connecting with you all. :)

To You

If you have been facing a lack of progress for a while, stop to examine what’s going on. Ask yourself, “What’s blocking me? What’s preventing me from move forward?” Identify the issue(s) and work on addressing it.

Some ideas to break the wall:

1. Reexamine your goal. Sometimes circumstances change and goals become outdated. Maybe your goal no longer interests you or it’s unrealistic with your current situation. Check to see if it needs changing. Read: When Goals Stop Working
2. Change your approach. If you have been doing the same thing with no results, maybe something is wrong with your methods. Review and see what’s working and not working. Study the people who are doing well. Talk to others to get new perspective. Improve your plan, and then try again.
3. Learn new knowledge and skills. Lacking knowledge and skills when tackling a complex goal will naturally lead to a roadblock. Adopt a growth mindset. For example the online landscape has changed so much and I am now learning AI tools and new editing software to get up to speed. What skills do you need in this goal? Attend courses, research, learn from experts, and learn from practice. Read: Skills Development and Level Up
4. Take a step back. Being too close to something can cause tunnel vision, mental fatigue, and burnout. Take a step back and take a break to get fresh perspective and ideas. Getting a change of environment can also help.
5. Find a support network. Connect with people pursuing the same goal — they provide support, insights into problems, and ideas and solutions. Join groups related to your goal online (Facebook, Reddit) and offline (Meetup.com) if possible. I’m part of various blogging communities and they are helpful for troubleshooting and getting insights to issues I’m facing. Read: Day 25: Create Your Success Network of Live a Better Life in 30 Days
6. Let go of perfection. Don’t let the need for perfection hinder your progress. Aim for a good enough level and improve it over time. Read: How To Overcome Perfectionism (series)

Some of these issues may be deep-seated or complex, and take time to fix. That’s okay. It is progress to start somewhere. Know that slow progress in addressing deeper issues will still lead to bigger changes than trying to tackle your goal at a low level and making no progress.

5) Take baby steps. As long as you’re taking steps forward, it’s progress.

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I know it can feel depressing when you have a big goal and don’t see progress day after day. Ideally, we want to set big goals and take big actions to achieve big results.

But there are times when taking big action simply isn’t possible, due to life circumstances. Perhaps you’re a parent to young kids, you’re dealing with health issues, you’re a caregiver to another, or your day job takes up significant time and energy. In these situations, it’s better to focus on one small thing a day.

Meaning, if you want to lose weight, make one good food choice a day. If you want to work on your blog, work on one thing in your plan, whether it’s editing your website or writing a new post. If you want to create a video channel, consider short-form videos on Tiktok or YouTube Shorts.

Do the small things and do them well. If you think it’s a waste of time, it’s not — the little changes you make add up to create huge changes in the long run. It all starts with what you do today. Some days you may be overwhelmed and not want to do anything, and that’s okay.

The more important thing is what you do on most days than not.

(From: The Emotional Journey of Creating Anything Great [Infographic])

Know that what you’re going through now is the trough of goal achievement. It can be difficult, painful, and boring.

But you can do it. I know you can. Things are tough now and many people are experiencing difficulties — rising cost of living, financial stresses, job security issues, burnout, juggling work and family, etc. — so you are not alone.

The important part is to (1) recognize that a lull in life can happen to anyone, and (2) equip yourself with the tools to work through them. Know that you are not a failure nor are you inadequate. A lull or lack of progress is what it is, and as you take the steps to work through it, it is matter of time before you see the results you seek.

Read:

• The Power of Little Changes
• If you cannot do great things now, start by doing small things in a great way

End Note

Are you facing a lack of progress? How can you apply the tips above?

Note from Celes: If you have been facing a lack of progress in life, check out Live a Better Life in 30 Days (30DLBL), my 30-day program to live a better life. It’s a great tool to do a life audit, set goals, and plan ahead. I did 30DLBL recently and it was great in helping me get clarity and create a roadmap for 2025 and beyond.

The 2025 edition of Live a Better Life in 30 Days is now out! I have updated the full course and rewrote many tasks, plus added a new task (Day 22) on limiting beliefs. Read about 30DLBL here, or if you are a past buyer, learn how to get access here! Questions? Let me know here.