This is Day 10 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
21DPC Day 10 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
Are There Any Negative People in Your Life?
If your answer is a ‘yes’,
Who Are They? And Why Are They There (In Your Life)?
Your Task:
- Reflect and answer today’s question(s). Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express yourself.
- Evaluate each person you come across today …and consciously ask yourself: Is this person a positive or negative energy in your life?
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area.
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Girl upset)
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I have a very negative co worker. I dread going to work and even took on a harder position at work so I could avoid her. I get very nervous when I even have to ask her a question! The thing I don’t understand, it’s always on her time– sometimes she is amazing and funny, and other times she is slamming the phone, throwing the files around. Everyone at my office is aware of her attitude, and we all kind of joke about it when she s gone, but the truth is, no one – not even my boss (Ive talked to hime about the problem several times ) will even talk to her about calming down. I have choose to pray for her, and tell myself, it’s out of my control. I say that when I think about it, I try not to let it get the best of me, but sometimes, I can help it, and I too get sooo sooo mad at her. Its a bad cycle.
Positive thought for the day: I am taking my husband out to dinner and I am going to make the best of what a hectic work week we have. I love him, and our love is unconditional and that is a blessing!!!!
I have a very negative co worker. I dread going to work and even took on a harder position at work so I could avoid her. I get very nervous when I even have to ask her a question! The thing I don’t understand, it’s always on her time– sometimes she is amazing and funny, and other times she is slamming the phone, throwing the files around. Everyone at my office is aware of her attitude, and we all kind of joke about it when she s gone, but the truth is, no one – not even my boss (Ive talked to hime about the problem several times ) will even talk to her about calming down. I have choose to pray for her, and tell myself, it’s out of my control. I say that when I think about it, I try not to let it get the best of me, but sometimes, I can help it, and I too get sooo sooo mad at her. Its a bad cycle.
Positive thought for the day: I am taking my husband out to dinner and I am going to make the best of what a hectic work week we have. I love him, and our love is unconditional and that is a blessing
One of my colleagues can be very negative.
However, she suffers chronic pain and other health issues, so I tend to listen to her tales of woe, for a while anyway, before moving onto other topics.
Luckily, we’re subject to many interruptions in our work world, so I’m able to use this technique successfully.
And for my part, I try to present life with a positive spin or humour.
The positive in my life yesterday was shopping at a second hand store with my girlfriend who found a beautiful gently used Calvin Klein coat … she only paid $22! My girlfriend & I are different sizes, so we’re able to fish in the same pond; otherwise we’d have been fighting over that coat!
I think that the terms negativity and positivity go in pair. It looks like they are the two sides of the same coin. And they are there to stay. Problem is we often become idealistic. It has to be all positive. No negativity is to be toletated. Negativity too may be having a positive dimension to the extent it helps add weight to positive initiatives.
I find negativity in my surrounding, my children or the new generation altogether. I t is possible that this impression is the result of my inability to understand and appreciate the younger ones,or an altogether subjective approach in my assessment of a situation. If I see negativity in the young, it is possible that at the same time, they might be considering the parents, as being rigid and negative.
If a person does not believe in God, can I say he is negative. How often do we not qualify the opposition as being negative, as opposed to being constructive. Do we qualify as negative someone who acts in a manner that does not fit into our order of things?
Negativity is like a disease, and we have to attend to it, individually or collectively,and make every effort to find the right solution. Sometimes what we see as negative is infact the consequence of other hidden causes about which we have no idea or have not care dto find out.
Wrong thinking brings more harm to the world than wrong action. The misunderstanding among peoples of the world on what they mutualyy consider as negative or destructive is creating a lot of tension aroud and can have serious cossequences.
Yes , there is negativity. We must ,as somebody said earlier, do the best and live the rest. Also that charity begins at home.
As well as being an amazing woman who is my inspiration, my Nan can also be incredibly negative. She is getting more cynical as she gets older, I think that all the news on tv and negative stories and blinding her once beautiful view of the world.
I think it has alot to do with the lack of entertainment for the older people in my community, the older women all congregate to compare sad stories and discussions on the latest headlines. Of course, people that are exposed to the negative forces of the media all the time, will start reflecting that.
One certainly has the right to surround themselves by negativity and horrible stories, but to share it on to other people I find no right. My Nan and I argue because I refuse to hear about the media and the negative stories she read, her view is that its life, people should be aware of what is happening in this world. Through my eyes, they media keeps people in fear and I would much prefer seek beautiful stories and to see the world for the incredible place it is.
However, when she is gardening or surrounded by family she is charazmatic, fun and a joy to be around. We have great debates, constructive conversations and have an absolute ball together when she is happy or not had the chance to watch the horrific stiries they plaster over the headlines and news channels.
A positive thing about today is that I got to wake up to beautiful cuddles with my kitty and enjoyed a peaceful walk to work :D
I only have one person that is really negative in my life and that is my sister. She is in my life because I love her and I can’t just ditch her. I don’t like to surround myself with negative people, so there isn’t too many people.
One postive thing about today is the wonderful rice I ate for breakfast!!
Are there any negative people in my life? Who are they and why are they there?
Yes, I do have negative people in my life. They continue to be a part of my life because it’s hard for me to make a clean break. I am notorious for this. The first two people that come to mind are two of my friends (who will remain nameless). One of them, I have been friends with for a long time. When we first because friends, we had so much fun together. She was wonderful. As I got to know her more and more, I started to see how negative she actually was. Every time she talks, it’s always about her, and it’s always something negative. I honestly, can’t stand it. But I’ve been friends with her for so long, I almost feel obligated to continue our friendship. We have slowly grown apart, now we only talk once a week or so. This has helped; I am able to be around her more in small doses. Deep down she is a wonderful person—I’ve SEEN it for myself. But does her negativity shadow the good in her? I guess I’m still deciding.
My second friend I haven’t known for very long…maybe 2 years. I honestly have NO idea why I continue to be friends with her….honestly, I think it’s because I feel sorry for her. She is very invasive, rude, and a control freak. She is extremely negative, and all her friends that she has lost have told her this….that is why they couldn’t be friends with her. I’ve honestly tried helping her be more positive, but it’s very hard. I try to help her see that her negativity affects her relationship…with friends, family and men. But she’s very set in her way. She has no boundaries, which makes it hard for me to hang out with her any time. I’m very aware of the fact that my life would probably be better without her friendship. She is a neighbor of mine, which doesn’t help. She just shows up at my place uninvited, comes into our house without knocking, and if she can’t “find” me, she bugs my husband (I feel this is really inappropriate). Wow I cannot believe I just said all this stuff about her. I’m not the type of person to go on rants about my friends, or judge them or speak negatively about them. But I suppose all the stuff that bothers me about her has been building up. It is obviously affecting my life in a negative way…I really should just cut ties with her.
I think my biggest problem is I have a big heart; it’s hard for me to be mean to someone, or do something that others think is mean. These girls don’t have a lot of friends (and I can see why), so I feel like they’d be in even a worse place then they are now to lose another friend. I want to help them, I want my friendship (and others) see that they actually are great people, and that their negativity is getting in the way of some people seeing that. Still, it is hard for me, too. I’m a very positive, loving, down-to-earth person. So trying to help someone who is constantly negative not only brings me down, but is very frustrating.
One positive thing about my day: I had a great photoshoot today. The client was wonderful, and I am very happy with how the photos turned out. We had such a blast!
Are There Any Negative People in Your Life? Who Are They? And Why Are They There?
Obviously there are NO purely negative people in my life but some of them are far more disempowering than others. I think of one of my Colleagues who I admire for her dedication to our company but truly cannot stand some of her behaviours. She is more of a problem spotter than a problem solver. She is impatient and requires a high quality job and immediate response. Sometimes I think that her standards are impossible to meet and regardless of my effort, she keeps being dissatisfied. Moreover, it seems to me that she often makes people feel bad, embarrassed and enhances tensions and conflicts.. :angry: I am aware that my frustration comes also from my personal story and that conflicts in workplace have other, more global reasons than just one toxic personality. In the same time, some assumptions make me feel that she is an emotional vampire. :twisted:
Why she is the part of my life? Certainly to teach me something. I also believe that some of her behaviours represent the naughty parts in me that I do not want to accept. So globally this is a growing experience, however, I try to limit my interactions with this person. I wish her luck (and lots of LOVE!) but need to preserve my energy! ;)
Ok so for this day’s question i can say that most of us have some people who we perceive as negative at some point but i am truing to see better side of everyone and i believe that people are to us what we bring out in them so i try to bring out best in people i come across…So there is not one person in my life or in my surroundings who i would call negative person..there are people who sometimes have a hard patch in life of a bad day but i try to tour that around and make them laugh at least once. Sometimes it happen that their negative energy rubs off on me but i try to take myself out of those situations as much as possible.
As for the positive thing about day 10 of this challenge a did accomplish a lot which i planed for that week.
Are there any negative people in your life?
I can honestly say that at this current point in time, there are no negative people in my life. In the past though, there have been two.
One was a nice guy, and you just wanted to help him. But talking to him was distressing, and I found out too late that all he wanted to do was complain and probably self-sabotaged himself.
A second was also a nice guy, very dependable. But oh so very negative and critical. For the longest time, for one reason or another, I kept in touch but then a silly fight pushed us apart. And for that, I am so glad. He brought out a side in me that was unlike my usual self— so critical!
Looking back, I see that hanging out with either of them left me in a negative place despite any other things. I tried to help them, but now it’s up to them to figure it out.
—
A positive thing that happened today was having a deep talk about where things were progressing and bringing up issues/ problems. I spoke from a standpoint not of accussations, but of trying to understand the other person. I was able to categorize it as compatibility, and not detrimental to my self-esteem. But though honest expression of vulnerability and desire to understand, the conversaiton was a deep success— as frustration and uncertainty have been quelled, though we’ll have to see if words are kept.
The most negative person in my life is a coworker. She is not negative about herself (oh no, she doesn’t do anything wrong and she has the best of everything – house, husband, children) but negative about everything that happens to everyone else. Example: Let’s say another coworker comes into the office one morning with a beautiful new outfit. Everyone is telling this person how beautiful the clothes are and how great she looks in them. This negative person would reply under her breath “she should start dressing her age!” Now, isn’t that sad!
So, my strategy for this person is to stay as far away from her as I can and block her out when she is in meetings, etc. that we both have to attend.
Good thing today – it is Saturday and a beautiul sunny day! :D
I have been able to eliminate most of the negative people in my life.. the nay sayers etc.. or those that bring negative aura by just being a round them. So not any close negative people around me,..
I also used to be a negative person but now i try to change that and see things in a positive way and it amazes me sometimes how things change for the better
There are several negative people in my life.
One being my boyfriend’s step mother. She is constantly complaining of her health and each moment around her leaves me feeling frustrated. She is in my life because we live beside her and his father. His father is a wonderful man whom I respect, so she is someone who won’t be leaving from our life.
With this being said there is also his step sisters in this equation. They are not people I would chose to be in my life but rather are in my life due to my boyfriend and children being my family. Along with this comes family functions and situations that I would much rather not have them in.
Positive for today: The sun is shining, it is springtime in my area and I love the beautiful weather.
Thank you, Netta. I appreciate your feedback :)
YES! :( A certain parent of mine is extremely negative, but while I have seen changes, it is still very draining to interact. I’ve actually cleaned out over the past few years and have been left with only a few people who are not negative. There are several remaining that I’m still considering…they seem to like to spread the doom & gloom…mostly about other people! I don’t know why any of these people are here in my life. Arguably, we don’t choose our parents, so that one gets a fee pass. The friends…I don’t know…I’ve been working through this lately…I think I had many friends for a long time, because I basically became friends with anyone who liked me…I never stopped to see if I like them or not.
I saw a happy person at the laundry :)
I understand your answer and can relate. I have negative friends that seems to always need a constant drama in their lives. I live in a small area and grew up with several of them. How they came into my life is an easy answer. Why they are still here is the question I have not figured out.
Good luck in filtering out the negative people in your life and a happy person at the laundry is amazing. :)
I have had several negative friends thru life and they have drifted away. I still see 2 of them occasionly and that is good. It is never long enough to affect my life but good to see old friends.
I have one negative person in my life presently and it is my husband of many years. He has not always been that way. I am trying to not let him put me in a negative way. I will not leave him but I start counselling today. I hope this will help me to move on in a postive manner.
I do have negative people in my life. One is my mother. She only calls me to complain about something, and when I call her she often interrupts or attempts to take over the conversation with complaints. I’ve tried to help her reframe some of her problems but she does not seem to take my advice well. Not that I am perfect, but I know she would be happier if she at least tried to be more positive. Her negativity causes me a great amount of stress and prevents her from being a reliable support in my life. It is difficult because as a woman, there are times when you simply need your mother—and she cannot be there for me in the way I need her to be.
Another negative person in my life is my ex. He is my son’s father, so naturally he has to be part of my life to some degree. He does not recognize positive changes I have made in my life since we split. I confronted him about this and he acted very dismissive. I think he knows that I have made positive changes but is not over the hurt he experienced in our relationship. I know I was not the best partner to him that I could have been, but neither was he—and I have found peace with that. He has not, so I think he feels a need to belittle my accomplishments.
These are two people who cannot easily be eliminated from my life, so I have to try to become more resilient against the effects of their negativity.
One positive thing about today: I completed several writing projects for courses I am taking. I feel a great sense of accomplishment and pride.
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