(Written and published on Dec 26, 2009)
Me @ Black Sand Beach, Langkawi in Aug this year. I’m wearing the red sandals
Ever since I started pursuing my passion to help others grow in Dec ’08 (it’s been a year!), I’ve been openly sharing myself and my life with everyone – whether its to you on Personal Excellence, to the media during interviews, to workshop participants, coaching clients, or the world at large. If you read enough through the blog archives and through the media features, you will find all kinds of information about me ranging from general info to what most would deem as private information such as my family background, my previous pay, my previous employer, my personal life, etc.
Why do I share so much of myself with everyone?
Is it about the attention?
No it’s not. Since I was young, I have never cared much about attention. I never understood the point behind popularity contests, whether in schools or in the world. People who know me today would easily refer to me as an extroverted person, but I really see myself as an introvert. Introspection is my necessary daily staple. I often spend copious amount of time to myself and self-reflecting. Give me a choice of whether to talk to ten people at a party or connect with a close friend in a quiet corner, and I’ll readily choose the latter any day.
Is it about the recognition?
Not at all. If so, I would be busy showcasing the polished, socially revered aspects of my life, such as accolades, academic and professional achievements, acclamations from others, and so on. Not putting myself out there with my weaknesses and vulnerabilities – such as the time when I was disappointed, my sentiments and past woes as a single, my early years as a sleepwalker, my not so perfect experience as a perfectionist, or how I used to be an emotionally stingy person.
So what is it for then?
Why do I share so much of myself with you? Why do I bare myself out to the world?
So, that means if I need to open myself up so I can connect with you, I will do that.
That means if I need to share my worst experiences in life where I was down and out so you can benefit and learn from them, I will do that as well.
It’s all about what it takes to enable YOU to live your best life.
My Confession To You
I realize in the latter half of this year, the blog has steered into a different direction. One where the content has become more fact-driven, where the tone has become more directive and technical, where the sharing is more announcement-based, where the postings have become fewer and further in between. It almost seems as if … I am slowly disconnecting from all of you.
A part of me has been aware of this change in style. Even then, the demands of the offline world have kept me from addressing that. 1-1 coaching, speaking/training, engaging new deals, setting up my training business The School of Personal Excellence (TSOPE), marketing my business… and the like. I’m not putting the blame on any of that though. I take full responsibility for my own neglect of the blog.
A few of you readers have taken the time and effort to reach out to me. You have been reading the blog since the early days when I started, all the way till today. You have sensed something has changed about the writings, but couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. And when you finally dug into it and realized the missing link, you took the time to share your 2 cents with me on what gives. A heartfelt thank you to those of you who have done that. And for those of you who didn’t, it doesn’t matter because your thoughts have found their way to me in some form or another.
Having had proper time to myself the past few days to regroup myself for the year 2010, I came to several important realizations. One of them is realizing what has taken me away from the blog. In trying to realign myself with different philosophies of others around me, I have lost touch with my inner self, which was ironic because I was trying not to let it happen. The other realization is *really* realizing that I have no intentions to deviate away from the blog or from you guys. I first started my journey with my blog with the intention to reach out to all of you out there and I’m not about to stop anytime soon, if at all. Once a blogger, always a blogger.
To all of you who may have been alienated by the (lack of) postings in the past few months, I’m sorry about it. And here’s the good news – I’M BACK!!!! I’m back – the full, real, uncensored Celes, and I’m going to be here to stay.
This past one year, I have but shared only a fraction of my personal self in my quest to help everyone of us live our best life. I have found that the most powerful posts that have ignited change and transformations in others are the ones where I have shared my deepest and darkest aspects of myself and my life. Those weren’t particularly easy to type out and share with the world, but because I know someone was bound to benefit from the sharing, I had gone ahead, typed them and clicked the “publish” button any way in WordPress. And the feedback I’d received have always affirmed that it was the right decision.
Moving forward, I want to share even more of myself to all of you guys. There are so many stories which I have yet to share, many thoughts I have yet to bare and many reflections I have not had the chance to tell you. And I’m looking forward to doing so in the very near future, whether through the blog, online talkshow (2010), or whatever mediums there are out there I can use to reach out to you. From here on now, what you are going to see is even more of the real, true, authentic Celes. No holds barred, no limitations, no restrictions. Be prepared for a lot more personal sharing from me to you from now on. It’s just me, yours truly.
In the meantime, I’m writing up a 2009 reflections article as the last article for 2009. Stay tuned for that real soon.
Update Dec 31, ’09: The post is up! 2009 Reflections: 2 Biggest Things I Learned, 15 Key Highlights and A Big Thank You To You