This is Day 6 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 6 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “Who Is the Most Important Person to You in the World?“.
As usual, I had a lot of joy reading your responses. Some of you stated your mom as the most important person to you. Some of you said your father. Some of you said it was yourself. Some of you said your child(ren). Some of you said your spouse. Then there were other answers, including God / a higher power / spirit, your pet, your friends, etc.
There’s no right or wrong answer, because what’s important to us is relative. The same for all other questions posed in 21DJC – there is no such answer as a one, true answer. There’s only what’s true for yourself, and the objective of 21DJC is to invite you to reflect, connect with your inner self, and growing through the self reflection.
If you haven’t not realized, the very process of answering the questions for the past 5 days have helped to clarify your thoughts. Some people may look at the questions and think “Ah, I’ll think about it later” or “This is too much for me and I can’t be bothered to think”. But for these people, they feel resistant towards the questions because they’re in a mental fog. And this fog doesn’t go anywhere until they sit down and properly think about what they are resisting.
By thinking about who is the most important person to you in the world, it has helped you to gain awareness of who matters the most to you, and hopefully, made you realize how much you should treasure him/her. You live only once, so don’t hold back on your emotions towards this individual, thinking that you have “next time”. Be true to him/her and let him/her know of your gratitude towards him/her. Be grateful to the universe for bringing him/her into your life.
Me, the most important person in my life is my higher self. My parents are among the dearest to me in this life. So are my best friends, and good friends. And the same goes for all of you out there in this world; the very people whom I’ve dedicated my life to help to grow and live your best lives. There is no dispute that all of you are infinitely important to me.
But my higher self – the person who orchestrated my birth into this world, who has been watching me silently all this while, who has been supporting me in my life, who has been with me through thick and thin, who has always given me strength to carry on – is pretty much the reason why I’m even here, in this world. There’s still so much I don’t know; so much I have not done; so much I have to do, and I know that my higher self will be with me all the way till the end, to guide me, to support me, and to carry me whenever needed.
Because of her, I’m here. Because of her, I’m now living in alignment with my highest self. I’m far from being my highest self yet, though I’m working in that direction. The day will come when I will come full circle with her, and I look forward to that happening one day, soon.
Important: Get Your Gravatar
Some of you have gotten yourself an avatar since the start of the challenge, while many of you are still appearing as Red PE Logos! (i.e. the default profile picture that appears beside each comment)
While I love the PE logo, I would love even more to see an individualized picture when I read your writings. I’m sure the other participants would love that too! It can be your real life photo, to a picture of your favorite flower, to your pet, to some scenery, to some quirky text. The point is to let your true self shine.
To set your custom profile picture, visit Gravatar, register your account (Important: Make sure it’s the same email as the one you use in your blog comments) and upload your profile picture. Your picture will automatically be reflected in all your blog comments where you had filled out the same email address as the one in your Gravatar account.
Look forward to seeing your new profile pictures! ;)
With that said, let’s now move to Day 6!
21DJC Day 6
After reflecting on the most important person in our life, today’s question brings us to a different emotion – but a very true one. Today, I’d like you to reflect on:
What Frustrates You?
Think about the times when you tend to feel frustrated. What typically happens in those times? What is it about those incidences that frustrate you? And why?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Frustrated woman))
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I get very frustrated when my best friend took me for granted at some point of time. Even after telling her that I am very busy at some point of time, she still wanted me to help her out of the way financially. Also, for people who demanded for things instead of requesting definitely irks me.
I am very frustrated when I see inept people at the Top of the Management made irresponsible decisions and we will have to come in to do the remedy actions. They also practise favouritism and nepotism which is very undesirable in this society.
After pondering the question, the following people/circumstances are where my frustration would burst when they occur :):
– I don’t like mean people, hiding everything to themselves and even cheat others to gain recognition to them.
– I don’t like pushy people. They keep approaching me to join certain organization and boast about it, especially network marketing (sorry). They usually can befriend with anybody and seem to care about that person. However, when they don’t get what they want, the relationship could fail or they are not as nice as before. I don’t know what word to describe it, but I think they are not true to others.
– I don’t like people who don’t keep their promise. Really I can’t work in a company that even the boss say one thing and do another (like don’t meet quality as promised), when people are not on time in a meeting.
– I don’t like people who are too nosy in my private area. My father intervenes too much in daily chore in my house for I feel that I don’t have any freedom to live my own house
– I don’t like to be given bad customer service or work in company that don’t uphold customer service
– I don’t like people that are not environmentally friendly. For example, using of nilon bags: they ask for more nilon bags than needed when they go shopping then throw away even when they can be used for many shopping times.
– I don’t like me when I do something stupid: I was too gullible to believe in a bad friend who cheated me. Also I don’t like when I feel empty or not proactive, or not being able to do things I like (I had it when I was in bed due to accident), I don’t like to be dependent on anybody, especially in terms of money. Well, having said that, now I actually love myself more so that I am not affected by all things that frustrate me. All I could do is to acknowledge and learn lessons from them.
Frustration is a far more common occurance in my life then I’d like it to be. There are situations that frustrate me, as well as certain people that frustrate me but I most often find that I’m frustrated with myself. I’m frustrated at my lack of focus and motivation. I’m frustrated at my inability to see clearly a path with which to travel on and I’m frustrated by my inability to listen to my own intuition. I’m frustrated that I’m not sure where to go next in my relationship or if I need to end it. I drown all these frustrations out with distractions and the cycle repeats itself as I get more and more frusrated and resultingly, more and more depressed.
Things that normally frustrate others like my girlfriend don’t frustrate me. I’m very calm, cool and collected when dealing with other drivers on the road and I’m polite and patient if I have to wait in line somewhere. Certainly I have my moments where that isn’t always the case, but
I find myself waiting. I’m left waiting for some sort of catalyst that will wake me up and help me realize that I need to change my ways and how I approach life. I guess I already realize this, but I’m waiting on something to motivate me to enact change. I’m smart and fully cognizant that I have the ability to create my own reality yet I’m never concious of it often enough to put this knowledge into actions that would better my life.
And that’s what frustrates me. I resonate w/ Ivona’s comment in that I’m frustrated my not having any power over myself. To by my own catalyst for change. While I believe that only you can change the course of your life, my inability to do so thus far has me look for an answer externally.
I am frustrated by:
-people who are ignorant and close-minded
-inability to affect things beyond my control
-being paralyzed by fear
-unfair trades
-being unprepared
What frustrates me the most is when I don’t feel like I’m in control of a situation. This happens in particular in two different ways:
1) Things that are truly out of my control, like awaiting a decision that’s not mine to make. When I’ve had to propose a salary/pay via email for a job/project/gig I want, while waiting for a reply I go over it in my head time and time again, wondering what the outcome will be. Have I aimed too high and will I lose this opportunity? Or, the opposite – will it be really easy to get paid for this and should I have requested more? It generally turns out ok, but it makes me nervous in a frustrating way. Having worked and still being working for people suffering from pretty major personality disorders, the outcome is sometimes quite the surprise…
2) Things that generally should be in my control, but that I’ve let go of or lost control over. Examples would include knowing I have to be somewhere at a certain time, but yet running late with no obvious unpredictable outside excuse to refer to. Or not being able to finish projects on time, in general. The procrastinating/running late side of me is really frustrating and I really want to grow up and stop doing that once and for all. All it’s causing me is frustration and anxiety anyway, and I don’t need that in my life if I can prevent that.
I agree, losing control is one of the most frustrating feelings in the world. Though I am not sure if it in most cases is caused by lack of discipline or not paying attention.
2 things vying for top of my frustrations list…..which is an very short list. One is when i cannot do something that i feel in my head and heart i should be able to do. Usually its around sports or programming. The other thing is seeing people not doing the most obivous things that would benefit themselves and others. I do however recognise these frustrations are just reflections about how I see myself. I do not accept my own limitations and situations fully and with an open equanimous mind.
What Frustrates You? What Happens and why?
Honestly, I never really feel frustrated as I am a very calm and neutral person. Do not get me wrong… I do feel frustration as any other human being. I deal with mine very quickly and process it instantly. I get over things very easily nowadays.
I think the only attribute, that does frustrate me (when it happens) is the three voices I get in my mind and the threes that I feel pulling me this way and that. Its my inner dialogue. Its like having three different people living in you. I am not sure whether it is because I am on the cusp of Cancer and Gemini, the sensitive one and the two twins. :( But I find myself torn between three ongoing things and it doesn’t matter what I am doing unless its something I am passionate about, this can be frustrating. Overtime, with practice and patience the process is easier and more fluent. I do fight with this when I make a deep and huge commitment – example: The inner feeling/inner dialogue is like when you do a test of multiple choice questions and answers there is a multitude of responses you make to answer one question and find a solution. Its very much I am running a tread mill and suspended in animation.
At the end of the day, I can make quick decisions (if I need to), take responsibility and make the best of any outcome.
I thing I always remember: Frustration is a sign of internal conflict and self made stress.
All the Best :heart:
Ezzy
Frustration is definitely an internal mechanism and we only allow things to frustrate us as much as we allow it.
I’m not sure I get the word frustrate really means to me but I think this could be my answer. Is not something that frustrated me most of the time, I would say I being frustrated by myself that I should be more open mind, balancing myself, can handle it on what I have been through. I feel frustrated of my low self esteem, fear of public speaking, communication problem, opinionated, negativity, narrow mind, my weak mental, emotion, and physical. I feel frustrates when I bullied by others, dishonest, bad faith, people look down on others; people blame me without knowing what’s really going on, people who don’t care of my feeling, people who don’t respect me. When I’m very frustrated I’m quiet, I cried, I thinking of it for a period. My father frustrates me because he is a gambler and likes to drunk, he always quarrel with my mom and he hit. I know I’m not the only one with a problem family and there’s a lot worse than me.
There are many things: when I get a lot of not asked for suggestions, when I don’t get any advice although I need one, if others are playing the role of critics, a movie or a serial which hasn’t a message in it and is very tasteless or which portrays a story that is opposite to real happenings, when others are indifferent or put me down, when I do not get expected response from other person, when I am held responsible for something I am not, impracticality, pretence one more thing added by evening smoking in public places ( here it is banned by the government) and people chewing and spitting tobacco by the side of road which is still prevalent in our country. I scolded him not to his face (some stranger) but as I walked along, when the bus /vehicle driver mindlessly horns…
What happens during those times?
I don’t like to get frustrated as it makes me lose my cool, I do not listen what others are saying at that moment, I fail to take right decision when I am frustrated and I cannot see things as they are to be looked at. It is just that all the above frustrating situations annoys me.
What could be the solution to my frustration?
I have to pause (take a deep breath) before reacting, if I can say to other party that I like or dislike particular behavior I should make them known.
I have also noticed that after some time I feel bad for the way I reacted rather for what happened because it is only my reaction that has something to do with me and my frustration may make others feel the same.
Very few things frustrate me. But among those few are when people take things I say the wrong way. I never mean harm, disrespect or insult to anyone but often, one person in particular seems to take exception to just about everything I say, do or want to do. That makes me feel invalidated, disrespected and put down. Then I get really frustrated with myself when I don’t rise above the ignorance and allow myself to be sucked into it. I do know better. It just happens before I can give it a thought.
One other thing that frustrates me is a sense of overwhelm. I feel like I have too many things going on all at the same time and end up performing most of them poorly or just not completing them. I am in the present most of the time and VERY EASILY distracted from focusing on longer range higher priority activities.
Frustration in my life stems from a few different things in my life.
1. When people aren’t responsible
2. When people aren’t caring towards others
3. School
4. One friend of mine
What Frustrates You?
I learned that each time I am frustrated, it boils down to ME and my unmet expectations! Many years ago I was ranting about my frustrations and a wonderful friend sat there very calmly and listened. Each time I would take a breather, he interjected and asked “why…?” And after a few rounds of this “ranting and “why…?”, and all the frustration has dissipated, I usually ended up with a deflated “oh my gosh”. It was really all about me after all…and my unmet expectations! Here I have taken all the tension into my body, blood pressure rising, heart pumping, teeth grinding, fists clenched…and when all was said and done, it was ME! When another has not acted, behaved or responded as I expected, FRUSTRATION starts brewing and maybe even erupt.
Does this mean I don’t get frustrated anymore? Heck no. I don’t get frustrated as often or after going through the Why exercise, I am able to decide for myself what to do about it.
As I write this entry, I’m trying to keep frustration at bay as a person so rudely act amongst us and everyone telling me not to let it bother me. I’m not sure if tolerating rudeness and someone’s tantrums on a regular and on-going basis in our midst is okay!
Okay…so I’ve learned to at least not to allow it to affect my body as it used to by finding something to be grateful for. Yes, it’s a cure all! A simple exercise is to find 100 things to be grateful for!
i appreciate this exercise and i get frustrated when i cannot find the new question after numerous logins.
I get frustrated with people’s ignorance most of the time!!
I just hate it when people are acting stupid!
I also feel frustrated when someone is disrespectful to others and talks with a bad manner!
I don’t know it just doesn’t feel right!
Myself when I slump and don’t do the things that make me feel good. When we get frazzled because things haven’t been organised in good time. I usually try to blame other people but I am cross at myself really because I know it was preventable if I hadn’t been lazy. It is frustrating because it is unnecessary stress.
I get frustrated when I see people suffering but I am unable to help them in any means.
What frustrates you?
What frustrates me most is feeling helpless/hopeless. Trying everything that I can think of to get to my goal but still not making it. Wracking my brain to figure out another way to reach my goal but coming up with nothing. I think at this time, I need to just step back and “sleep on it” rather than continuing to knock my head against the brick wall.
My inability (or unwillingness) to ask for what I need in my life. I go through life, doing things the easy way by not asking others to do what I need for them to do; instead I take it on myself to make sure it gets done. All this does is add to the stress in my life, of which there is too much already. I don’t want to deal with the unpleasant feelings of conflict. It is seriously beginning to take a toll on my health both physically and mentally.
I had to think a lot before writing an answer. I never really thought about the things that frustrated me until today. So here´s the list:
– When I have to finish a project or do something important on the internet and the connection is either really slow or not working. (I don´t know why but this happens very often for me)
– When people don´t try and just do the minimun to get through whatever they have to do. There´s so much wasted potencial out there.
– When people just complain about everything but don´t try to find a solution.
– When people say they can´t do something just because they failed one time.
– When I want to study or do some kind of work and I can´t because I´m too tired.
– When after working all day long I only managed to cross out a couple of things from my to-do list.
– When people don´t value the opportunities they´ve been given.
– When I have to do an important call and I get a voice saying press 1 or press 2 and then comes the music and after 15 minutes on the phone they tell you to try again later. The good thing about this is that if I put it on speaker phone I have free music for 15 minutes.
– The ******* telemarketers!!!!! They call my house at least 3 times everyday, no matter what hour it is and even if it´s sunday. Some telemarketer called at 23:00!!! And most of the time it is a machine that says “Hello, this is your telecommunications adviser…” !!!!!! This is the most frustrating thing in the world!!!
– People who gossip about others with no validation to the story they´re telling, or who judge others by the way they look.
What frustrates me the most..is myself. My inability to let go of people and situations that I know are not good for me. I have such a strong sense of loyalty…to a fault – and while I’m not a doormat by any means, actually I’m a little crazy..LOL..but I find that eventually I will forgive people. I decide that now that I know what they are capable of, i can put them in a ‘section’ and still deal with them. I also get frustrated by my inability to take my own advice. My siblings, my friends, my family, coworkers and even my parents, come to me for advice on so many situations…I think they feel comfortable because I don’t judge, and I can give great advice…until it comes to me. Then I can’t apply that same advice to myself. This why I’ve done this challenge – to help me figure out me…and God willing..make myself better!
Well, when I first read this I realized that i knew exactly how i react when i’m frustrate but I didn’t knew what makes me frustrate :(. Now that I’m thinking about that, after a little reflection I realized that what really frustrate me and make me react so badly is when people focus only at what they have to say and they don’t listen to what the other have to say. It doesn’t matter what ti is: a normal conversation, a debate, arguing etc. you should talk, say your opinion but you should as well listen and give the other the opportunity to talk. But when you just talk and do not care what the others have to say then you louse the right to be listened by them and you’re opinion has no value.
So saying it short, i hate when people are talking to me, either it is a conversation, a debate, arguing and they just talk, do not let me talk and pay no intention to what i say or have to say. If I have the patience and respect to listen to you, you must have the same to me.Or else i react bad.
The truth is that the matter doesn’t remain only hearing the other, but at listening at that person. I hate when i have something very valuable to say but they don’t really listen. I’m not talking for me here’ I’m talking for you, so pay intention please.
What is the cause of frustration?
There are two types of frustrated people – those following the final fate of Sisyphus and those following the final fate of Tantalus.
What frustrates me and why?
Example 1: I try to learn new skills and I see everything in the world through this paradigm (for the time being.) But I cannot name one new thing I can do now – not one.
Example 2: I feel I don’t have time and daily must compromise on any one thing out of the three – hobbies, sleeping and plans for the day.
In any case, I get the sinking feeling that I have returned to square one. (I fall properly in the Sisyphus category.)
How long does the feeling of frustration persist?
I got frustrated two years ago with the way my life is going and haven’t got rid of the feeling yet. I carry this feeling all the time in the back of my mind. The bright side
is that there haven’t been any major twists and turns in my life.
Possible solutions?
Hope and prayer help the best, but I must think logically today:
Just try again. (The cause is not changed, why your efforts?)
Radical decisions or very small compromises. (For every of those mental thorns.)
Set small clear goals. (Why end up running in a loop or forget what you started.)
Don’t worry or get angry. (They combine badly with frustration.)
Never neglect your body, social life etc. (Wait for the doors of opportunity to open of themselves -You see, the year of the rabbit wasn’t meant for you !)
Can’t obtain X? Don’t lose what you have now. (And take sure steps forward.)
What frustrates me most, is myself. Why is it sometimes so difficult to do the right thing? Why do I over analyse things?
It makes me feel helpless, without self control AND a control freak at the same time.
I am also very frustrated when people have misconceptions or made incorrect assumptions about me!
there are different reasons and sometimes there’s no reason but most of the time what frustrate me is when I expect something from somebody or even sometimes from me and it doesn’t happend when I get excited for something and doesn’t happen. sometimes when i fail in doing something I thought I could do it
What is the cause of frustration?
There are two types of frustrated people – those following the fate of Sisyphus and those following the fate of Tantalus.
What frustrates me and why?
Example 1: I try to learn new skills and I see everything in the world through this paradigm (for the time being.) But I cannot name one new thing I can do now – not one.
Example 2: I feel I don’t have time and daily must compromise on any one thing out of the three – hobbies, sleeping and plans for the day.
In any case, I get the sinking feeling that I have returned to square one.
How long does the feeling of frustration persist?
I got frustrated two years ago with the way my life is going and haven’t got rid of the feeling yet. I carry this feeling all the time in the back of my mind. The bright side is that there haven’t been any major twists and turns in my life.
Possible solutions?
Hope and prayer help the best, but I must think logically today:
Just try again. (The cause is not changed, why your efforts?)
Radical decisions or very small compromises. (For every of those mental thorns.)
Set small clear goals. (Why end up running in a loop or forget what you started.)
Don’t worry or get angry. (They combine badly with frustration.)
Never neglect your body, social life etc. (Wait for the doors of opportunity to open of themselves -You see, the year of the rabbit wasn’t meant for you !)
Can’t obtain X? Don’t lose what you have now. (And take sure steps forward.)
There are quite a number of things that frustrate me, and the longer I sit and write, the more frustrations surface.
Most of them concern myself. It frustrates me, when I’m:
– standing in my own way, limiting myself in growing
– not supportive and understanding towards myself, but become angry and shout at them
– crawling in in myself, because I’m afraid to get rejected for my ideas
– hiding myself behind excuses, so I don’t take actions
– limited by fysical pains, so I can’t run around playing with my kids.
– not able to express myself 100% as I want, when communicating in a foreign language
(I know I do have superhigh standards here)
Reading here, I found some ‘world frustrations’ that I do share, but today my frustration-focus is on myself. So started wondering if that has something to do with the journey i’m taking with this challenge, with trying to become more aware of myself and my lifepurpose.
Think I’m gonna think a bit more about that and read some more of your answers :-)
To all of you; thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas!
And Celeste; thanks for creating this challenge!
I go crazy whenever I’m mistreated. Whenever someone is lying to my face, whenever people are ignoring me – on purpose. Not knowing what people think leaves me frustrated. Or when I’m given the silent treatment, or I say something important and they just change the topic, like nothing happened. Not all the people, but certain, special people. Alright, someone in particular. I guess it’s even more than frustration, I feel hurt. And carry this feeling with me for days and I keep asking myself ‘what the heck is going on’ and I have to guess, cause no one is answering. And I always presume the worst. And it drains me and it makes me so frustrated and disappointed. And you know what else? When I try to confront this person and he’s all like ‘what did I do wrong this time’ and makes me second-guess my emotions and reactions. And that makes me even more frustrated. And I don’t have a solution for this. I got all other emotions and situations in control, but this thing… still gets me.
What frustrates me is when people don’t treat each others with respect.
When people complain when they have nothing to complain about .
When some people lie just so it makes their lives easier.
I also frustrate my self sometimes by putting things off when I could do them today. I guess I get frustrated with others as I have no control over their behavior and frustrated with myself because I can change what to do on a daily basis to make me feel good.
I guess frustration comes when things don’t go the way I intend them to and this makes me feel uneasy. Just had an aha moment !
It must be my control issues. I should let go more and let things be.
There are many things frustrate me but the most thing is that I have always to do things to satisfate my parents if not I’ll be in problems. I like to make my parents proud but I can’t force my self to do things I don’t want to do.
I feel frustrated when I don’t get something I want (I know it sounds really childish!). When I was young, it was more about things – books, toys, food, or whatever that might be. Nowadays, it’s more about achievement/goals. Not being able to reach my goal frustrates me. I’ve given thoughts about why that is – and I’m afraid of failures and making mistakes. I don’t want to be seen as an undisciplined and weak person; I don’t like people questioning me about my capabilities. While I understand my imperfection, I don’t want other people to see that and it’s frustrating when such side is shown.
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