This is Day 6 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 6 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “Who Is the Most Important Person to You in the World?“.
As usual, I had a lot of joy reading your responses. Some of you stated your mom as the most important person to you. Some of you said your father. Some of you said it was yourself. Some of you said your child(ren). Some of you said your spouse. Then there were other answers, including God / a higher power / spirit, your pet, your friends, etc.
There’s no right or wrong answer, because what’s important to us is relative. The same for all other questions posed in 21DJC – there is no such answer as a one, true answer. There’s only what’s true for yourself, and the objective of 21DJC is to invite you to reflect, connect with your inner self, and growing through the self reflection.
If you haven’t not realized, the very process of answering the questions for the past 5 days have helped to clarify your thoughts. Some people may look at the questions and think “Ah, I’ll think about it later” or “This is too much for me and I can’t be bothered to think”. But for these people, they feel resistant towards the questions because they’re in a mental fog. And this fog doesn’t go anywhere until they sit down and properly think about what they are resisting.
By thinking about who is the most important person to you in the world, it has helped you to gain awareness of who matters the most to you, and hopefully, made you realize how much you should treasure him/her. You live only once, so don’t hold back on your emotions towards this individual, thinking that you have “next time”. Be true to him/her and let him/her know of your gratitude towards him/her. Be grateful to the universe for bringing him/her into your life.
Me, the most important person in my life is my higher self. My parents are among the dearest to me in this life. So are my best friends, and good friends. And the same goes for all of you out there in this world; the very people whom I’ve dedicated my life to help to grow and live your best lives. There is no dispute that all of you are infinitely important to me.
But my higher self – the person who orchestrated my birth into this world, who has been watching me silently all this while, who has been supporting me in my life, who has been with me through thick and thin, who has always given me strength to carry on – is pretty much the reason why I’m even here, in this world. There’s still so much I don’t know; so much I have not done; so much I have to do, and I know that my higher self will be with me all the way till the end, to guide me, to support me, and to carry me whenever needed.
Because of her, I’m here. Because of her, I’m now living in alignment with my highest self. I’m far from being my highest self yet, though I’m working in that direction. The day will come when I will come full circle with her, and I look forward to that happening one day, soon.
Important: Get Your Gravatar
Some of you have gotten yourself an avatar since the start of the challenge, while many of you are still appearing as Red PE Logos! (i.e. the default profile picture that appears beside each comment)
While I love the PE logo, I would love even more to see an individualized picture when I read your writings. I’m sure the other participants would love that too! It can be your real life photo, to a picture of your favorite flower, to your pet, to some scenery, to some quirky text. The point is to let your true self shine.
To set your custom profile picture, visit Gravatar, register your account (Important: Make sure it’s the same email as the one you use in your blog comments) and upload your profile picture. Your picture will automatically be reflected in all your blog comments where you had filled out the same email address as the one in your Gravatar account.
Look forward to seeing your new profile pictures! ;)
With that said, let’s now move to Day 6!
21DJC Day 6
After reflecting on the most important person in our life, today’s question brings us to a different emotion – but a very true one. Today, I’d like you to reflect on:
What Frustrates You?
Think about the times when you tend to feel frustrated. What typically happens in those times? What is it about those incidences that frustrate you? And why?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Frustrated woman))
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This is a difficult one, not because I’m never frustrated, but because it’s hard to describe with words. Sometimes I feel frustrated when I working hard at my job and people constantly remind me about things that are already completed. Other times, I’m frustrated when I’m driving down a country road and the driver behind me wants to pass me, but can’t, so settles for tailgating. Or I could get frustrated when doing a school assignment and just when I turn it in, I find out there was this whole other part I forgot to do.
Usually, I try not to let it get to me. If I’m home, I look at calm pictures of trees on the internet, but if I’m driving, it’s sometimes hard to get it out of my mind.
I guess the reason these instances frustrate me is because most of them have to do with impatience. I have a difficult time understanding this in other people because I’ve never felt that “rush-rush” impulse myself. Oh well, I suppose frustration is just another opportunity for self-improvement, and that’s something I’m passionate about, so bring it on!
Dear Laurel,
I think your feelings are shared by many. I definitely get frustrated when someone is tailgaiting me, or when they aggressively cut me off. You seem like a very grounded person and it sounds like you have a very healthy attitude about those things that come up.
Best of luck,
AH
What is sad is that when I read this, I realize that everything frustrates me. The littlest things to the major incidents always frustrates me. I have a lot of pet peeves, I am easily angry at other people, I am OCD about some useless things I shouldn’t be OCD about. Then, when I am angry, I would rant to my closest friends. I feel like I am always ranting to them about the same things over and over again. Then I start to feel bad that I’m ranting to them, yet I do it again.
It feels like a repeated cycle of frustration. Although I want to fix it, I can’t. I will reflect on that now that I’ve typed it all out. Communication seems like the best way to fix it as of right now. I need to communicate to people about why they are frustrating me.
I feel you pain, I tend to be the same.
Just a question, what is OCD?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Dear May,
Don’t get too down on yourself. Everyone has felt like you some way or another. Journaling is an excellent way to move the thoughts out of your mind and brings forth resolutions and insights that are meaningful to you. Also, finding a creative activity or physical activity that you enjoy is very helpful when I am feeling easily annoyed. And let’s face it, there ARE SO MANY things to get annoyed with
:-)
Sending peaceful thoughts,
AH
Thank you for the comment. It gave me a push to keep continue to journal and do things I love. Hopefully I won’t be so frustrated all the time now that I have ways to fix it.
Thank you,
May
there are many things that frustrate me.
People who want others to do their work for them.
Leaches who cling on for what ever reason an drain the life out of you.
when I can.t plan and carry out that plan because I lose motivation and perserverence. I am hoping that will change.
Not having a routine for myself. I can’t follow a routine and would like to become self dicplined enough to finish what I start. I have a hard time planning because I
just seem to keep planning and never really work after the planing, and find myself gravitating away from the task on hand. focus or the inability to focus if ad to the plan.
I need to plan effectively make a plan and work the plan. Why does it seem as I just plan and plan, but when they come they are exhausted.and cant seem to do much more. I am tired as soon as I wake up.
This frustrates me because I dont get anything done.
Mary Jane said: “when I can.t plan and carry out that plan because I lose motivation and perserverence. I am hoping that will change.
Not having a routine for myself. I can’t follow a routine and would like to become self dicplined enough to finish what I start. I have a hard time planning because I
just seem to keep planning and never really work after the planing, and find myself gravitating away from the task on hand. focus or the inability to focus if ad to the plan.
I need to plan effectively make a plan and work the plan. Why does it seem as I just plan and plan, but when they come they are exhausted.and cant seem to do much more. I am tired as soon as I wake up.”
I haven’t written my entry yet, but this is EXACTLY what frustrates me too. I’m great at making the plans, I’m the queen of to-do lists, but I have a terrible time actually doing the work. I guess we need to get to the bottom of why that is!
You may want to see your doctor. Those were some of the first things I felt when I was first hit with depression-especially feeling tired as soon as you wake up. It was as if no matter how long I slept the night before, my “battery” would never fully recharge and I’d be completely spent by 9am. One by one, other physical and emotional symptoms came on until I was in bad enough shape to visit a doctor. This could have absolutely nothing to do with your situation, but just in case, I thought I’d mention it.
I get frustrated when someone I know, try to take me for granted. Even after telling them that I’m busy at some point of time, they still want me to help them out of the way. I love helping others….but not at the cost of getting financial loss to myself. Such people who try to use me only for their good, frustrates me a lot. People who orders me instead of requesting, frustates me like hell.
I also get frustrated when I see corrupt people around me. Yes, politicians in my country are counted in the top lists of corruption in the world. I hate corruption and always dreamt that my country would be corruption free one day.
I get frustrated when I get lots of junk in my mobiles Message Inbox….Some of my friends keeps me sending unnecessary stuff through sms throughout the day, I told them not to send so many sms’s daily….but they keep on emptying their inbox by filling mine. :(
I also gets frustrated when I see injustice with anyone…whether he / she is known to me or not….
I always tried my level best to work on what frustrates me….and on a certain level I get success…..But there’s a lot to be done still. :)
Dear Kamal,
I can definitely empathize when people don’t respect your boundaries. Sometimes it’s tough to say “no” and stand your ground. Also, I think every government has their share of corruption. I am not a pessimist, but I know enough about human behavior to observe how power can corrupt an otherwise well-meaning individual. I take much solace in Ghandi’s wisdom to “be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Sincerely,
AH
Hi Kamal, I can relate to what you’ve written. I am usually willing to help people and I get very annoyed when people try to take advantage of this and impose their wishes as if it’s their due. Sometimes, a simple “please” and “thank you” can do a lot more.
As for politicians and corruption, it’s very much present in my country as well, so much so that I am quite frustrated with them, both government and opposition alike.
Best of luck for the future!
every time, my performances were not up to my expectation. I felt frustrated.
I know it’s just because I set too many goals for myself. Yet, we just live once. I need to take most out of it!
I know if i can manage my time, every thing can be finished as planned!
SO, i just want I can achieve my goals on time.
Emma,
I am also very hard on myself in this way. I often set very high goals for myself and have high expectations for what I can achieve in a certain amount of time and then when I fall short I beat myself up and get so angry with me. I would feel awful when I had to call off work because I was sick, or tell someone no because I was too busy already. I am horrible at telling people no. But I am learning. We have to allow ourselves to be human, to be fallible, to be sick, to be ourselves without the pressure and the rush to do it all now. I also fight to find that balance and I hope that you are able to find it for yourself as well. Don’t be too hard on yourself :)
Raven
Hmmm…well this topic may be of most use yet, for me. Cause I never stopped to really think about it. Cause I can be moody. In fact my teachers used to describe me as ‘by her mood you can predict will she excel or be quiet and do the asignments badly’. That is quite a flaw – my behavior is very dependent on my current emotions. That’s also why I am not an excellent communicator – one day I can be the super friendly, funniest and most interesting person; next day I can be cold, cynical…like, in my own shell. I do believe emotions…I don’t know how to put this….I do believe that we live trough what we feel. Everything that happens is perceived trough our emotional impression, important persons in our life are important because of how we feel about them and in reaching goals, the emotional background is what pushes us forward.
My parents constantly tell me that I don’t posses self-discipline. (actually they nag!) But lately I am starting to notice that I do have a certain weakness toward myself. And this is very bad. Not in the way that it stops me from functioning normally, but that overcoming that weakness could make me so much more. And I have a tendency to quit – I am a perfectionist and if something gets not-exactly-as-planned, I might as well trow the whole thing out of the window.
And I don’t know if others get those feelings, is it hormones, puberty, PMS or do I simply have a bad personality, but every few weeks, there comes a period when I want to get out of my skin (don’t know if you understand me, this is a phrase in my language, not sure if there is an equivalent in english :) ). Period that I feel bad, I become cynical, and I can’t stand the world, but mostly I can’t stand myself.The word FRUSTRATION pretty much sums up how I feel. Just went trough a few of those days, then when I waked up feeling good again this morning, it was such a relief. Like my creative, positive, happy energy was turned back on again.
There is a concept of ‘flow’. When everything goes smoothly, your mind is clear and calm like water, you are in control of everything, and that control comes natural, there is no struggle, just a perfect peace, productivity and the ability to handle everything, perfectly. Without fuss. I feel like that 10% of the time. And it is such a great feeling. It’s the ideal.
Than there are normal days. You feel mostly happy, positive, confident, something gets you angry, but it passes, and overall you feel good. 65% of the time. An okay phase. Not the best, but perfectly comfortable.
Then there are days when I feel totally unmotivated, lazy, even envious, I become harsher to others, and I can’t get myself moving towards my goals. It makes my physically inactive too. I feel like skipping college, not seeing friends, but just plopping down in front of the TV and eating comfort foods. I may also feel inferior, boring, not smart enough, ugly, fat, etc. That period usually lasts 3 days to a week, so let’s say 25% of the time. But it sometimes feel like eternity. Guess time really is relative :) And than one day I just wake up feeling good again.
That same way, I just suddenly enter in flow, or over the course of a day everything becomes gloomy and I’m in my bad phase.
What frustrates me in life are two things:
1. me generally not holding enough power over myself
2. that period when I am become the bad person
So what I need to do is slowly gain more control over my motivations, feelings, behaviors. I think introspection is an important step. It clear’s out the mental fog. Many people think that is a waste of time. But there is a proverb – If you give me two hours to to cut down the big,deep rooted tree, I’ll spend the first hour sharpening the saw. Since most things are in our head, and certainly have started in our head, i think that’s a good place to start cleaning out bad behaviors. As that man in the Peaceful Warrior says ‘Take out the trash.The trash is up here’ *and he points the finger to his head*
I write a lot. I am one of the people who has the highest word count on the board. But to me personally, it is the whole point of journaling and introspection. I transcript my words exactly, from my head to the screen, and it comes out faster than I can really criticaly think it over in my conscious mind. So I write things down, and I think, wow, this is how I really feel about that and than. I didn’t realize it before. And that’s the worth I get from all this. My thoughts sharpen, get clearer. The fog is cleared out.
There are many things that I can say are frustrating, around me, like politics, sleepwalkers and decaying off good values. But continuing in the spirit of yesterday’s question, I am focusing on me. Other things are out of areas of my influence. Therefore, it’s pointless to give them a thought. I can only strive to be the best me, give my best to the world, and then maybe it can improve the world itself. And that’s the only thing I can really do about the outer world :)
Hey Ivona,
I can completely relate with what you have stated and admire you for doing it so precisely. It’s the same situation with me too and it’s very frustrating as one loses control of their mind. I get up most of the time full of positive energy raring to face the challenges and then there are days when I feel I can do nothing right and my behavior towards everyone changes significantly.
Lately, I have been able to reduce the occurrences of such days by doing a simple activity. As soon as I realize that it is one of those days, I take some deep breaths and start praying thanking the God for blessing me with one more day to live (I could have died in my sleep last night) and for my current state of being which is still a lot better than most of the people out there. I try to put up a mental block (consciously in the subconscious) that by not cherishing this gift I am daring to insult the gift of life bestowed upon me. In the next few minutes I think of the positive things I had done yesterday and how I felt at that moment. After 5-10 minutes, I feel a surge of positive energy which sustains me the whole day and infact those days become more productive than usual.
I do fail at times but with renewed conviction that I can succeed, I am able to reduce the occurrence of such bad days. You can try it too.
all the best :-)
Hi Ivona,
Here’s a simple suggestion. On the 25% days when you don’t feel good, have a list of activities (prepared) that make you feel good and work on them one by one. That should help get your positive emotions flowing and therefore leave no space for negative ones. By changing your activity you change your focus.
Bob
What Frustrates Me?
There aren’t too many things I must say.
The main would probably be unimportant things that I know will require time to deal with. A good example being the weeds in the garden that are always out of control. I can spend hours removing them, but within a week, and even more so when it’s been raining, they’ll be back again. Removing them consumes the time I could be using to do something else more important. But I am looking into better ways of dealing with them.
I should also mention clients who don’t want to pay me for the work I’ve done. There was one guy yesterday. I shot and edited two videos for him and he told me he’s not happy with either of them, and without giving me a proper reason why? With any work I do, I offer a revision to make any changes that need to be made. I rarely have to make changes, and can only think of two previous videos where the clients weren’t happy with their video. But in those cases it was due to how they came across appearance wise in the video, so it was no fault of mine. This guy yesterday though wasn’t even willing to have any changes made, wants me to give him the files, but still tells me he won’t pay me what’s owing for the work done. I told him no. The only possible reason I can think of is that he doesn’t have the money, so is making out that I’ve done a bad job as an excuse not to pay. It’s happened before too. When these people are broke for whatever reason, but still want the work done, they’ll look for any reason they can use as an excuse to try and get out of paying. I’m sure this happens to many other small businesses. I’ve already decided to no longer do that kind of work, so hopefully I will never have to deal with these kind of people again.
Narrow minded people can frustrate me at times too. But overall, I’ve learnt how to deal with them, so they don’t really concern me anymore. In a way, I now expect that attitude from a lot of people by default. I know there’s nothing I can do about it. The problem lies with them as a result of how they’ve been programmed, either through the media, or other narrow minded people who may be their family or close friends.
Bad drivers used to frustrate me also, but thankfully they don’t really bother me anymore either. If I see an idiot in traffic now, usually I’ll forget about them within a few minutes.
Bills all appearing in the mail at the same time can be frustrating too. Looking at them and thinking ‘we have to pay this, this, this and this all by the end of the month’. I should be used to them by now though :)
And that’s about it. I could probably think of a few other insignificant things, but they honestly woudn’t be worth mentioning!
Hi Glen,
Regarding your customers, you will find that it is a question of percentages. For example
20% are great customers no problems,
80% are then divided into several categories
slightly above average,
average,
customers who pay late
customers who never pay and are never satisfied
As you work this out you will discover where you have found your best customers, ie. word of mouth, recommendation on a website etc. When you have done this then you can start creating more of your top clients. Hope this helps.
Bob
Hi Bob,
Thanks for the reply. Yes, I think you’re right here! Although to be honest I’m probably a bit better off than that. Most clients I don’t have any problems with at all. If anything, the biggest problem is the material they give me to work with doesn’t always inspire me that much. If I took that into consideration, the 20% rule would definitely apply :)
Interesting question, for the past 2 years, I’ve try not to frustrate and focus on what I really want. Nevertheless, upon reading the question, a voice in myself said am I really never feel frustrated or did not want to admit the frustration.
Well, the frustration is there, but concealed for my will to focus on what I really want. To answer the challenge, I have to admit, what frustrate me is when I didn’t reach my goal and I’m demotivated after several tries. Then starting to find some excuse and procrastinate all or some action needed to be taken as a process to reach my goal.
(hmm, typing and admitting it makes me feels relieve. strange :) )
Feeling relieved is one of the many benefits of this challenge! Good for you :)
It really does make us feel better once we let out bottled up emotions.
Many things frustrates me but among them the most frustrating ones are:
1. Knowing what needs to be done and yet not being able to get it done even though I had tried.
2. Trying to do something well but in the process somehow lost track and didn’t come back to it .
3. Not able to do something as good as I want to be.
4. Start off with a lot of hope and enthusiasm but along the way lost the energy and will to continue
5. Feeling sorry for myself.
6. Feeling powerless and helpless.
7. Knowing its in my gene and can’t correct it, ie a character issue
8. Being fearful.
9. Not being true to myself.
10. Not speaking my mind.
11. Not expressing well.
12. Afraid of showing others who I truly am.
13. Afraid of being judged or criticized.
Hi Engine2,
A very realistic and sincere assessment of the areas and reasonsof frustration Awareness is there, remedy may automatically follow. Good experience sharing.
sona
I find myself impatient and even frustrated when people seem to take longer to finish their tasks than it seems to me it should. This can be anything. If it takes too long (according to me) for a car to turn right, for my son to finish his homework, for my husband to pick out a product at the grocery store (he reads all the pricing labels for comparison shopping), I tend to get impatient or frustrated.
Other things that frustrate me are when people, who are supposedly in charge (e.g. a manager), fail to do their job. Of course, I think I know what their job is and think I could do it better:-) I also get frustrated by people who fail to do what they say they will and when people don’t clean up after themselves.
In general this feeling of impatience or frustration generates physiological changes: I clamp or grit my teeth and tense up. I sometimes don’t even notice that I’m frustrated until I notice these physiological changes. The best thing for me to do when I’m feeling this way is to take a deep breath and remember that I can’t control other people. I can only control myself and my reactions. Then I try to find a more positive and patient reaction.
This is so me. And it is so unfair on other people. I do it to myself too. I am so frustrated when a project takes longer than it ‘should’. It seems I am too focussed on things being done and not enough on the doing. My ex is the opposite. He is so much more patient when doing anything with my son. On the other hand, he is chronically late to/with everything. Maybe I need to find a happy medium.
Wasted potential.
What frustrates me is people who do the bare minimum and don’t put in the extra effort. They do not value hard work or see a need to be excellent. I see this especially in the younger generation (and I am only 33!). It is extremely hard to find good help even when jobs are scarce. You think people would step up their game to get hired by working harder, taking risks and putting themselves out there. But even when they are handed an internship, for instance, they do not value the opportunity and see the potential for advancement.
I am extremely saddened by classrooms where the teachers are trying very hard just to get their students to achieve the bare minimum — and teachers get blamed for their students’ poor performance. So not fair.
Entitlement frustrates me. Laziness frustrates me. Stupidity frustrates me.
People skating by doing just the bare minimum with no higher aspirations is very, very sad. Why be alive if you aren’t going to *do* something with your life?
Dear Aileen,
Wasted potential – for sure! Imagine if everyone regardless of their social status were given the best education, including trade schools and apprenticeships. Imagine what a beautiful world if no minds were wasted or neglected. Oh, that is my dream. I hope the generations to come are inspired to figure out a better way to educate our society in a healthy and positive way.
Best,
AH
Well said dear aileen :cool:
I am definitely too frustrated.
On an ordinary day, everything bother me.
Opportunistic and superficial people, the ones who refuse help, when I don’t meet my goals, that I haven’t learned yet to let go of things easily. Being intimately so unforgiving and tormented, while outside I appear the opposite.
That sometimes I see something is true with my mind or my heart, still I can’t adhere,
Like believing the first and maybe only step for remove my frustration is just accept what it is, nevertheless I forget this too often.
Whatever, thanks also who posted before me, I feel better now :)
Dear Claudio,
Isn’t it amazing the power of writing down your thoughts when you’re in a bad mood? I always feel better, too. I get frustrated with opportunistic and superficial people too. Then I remind myself that underneath that facade is a beautiful spirit in a human shell. I try to see these situations as opportunities to show them that they don’t have to act that way, just by being very my sincere self. I’m not always succsessful at connecting with them, but at least I know that my own spirit had a chance to shine through. And I can tell by your post, that your spirit shines through, too!
In spirit,
AH
Stupidity frustrates me. Useless paperwork frustrates me. Drug and or alcohol abuse that steals life and joy frustrates me.
I have health issues and complications that I am dealing with right now, so those things frustrate me the most. The side affects of medication. The time spent waiting in doctors offices. The stigma around my conditions. The feeling that there’s something “wrong” with me.
Some doctors are wonderful, but I get frustrated with the doctors who condescend to me. I’m frustrated with how my health condition has taken over my life, every aspect of my life from eating to sleeping has been altered. I’m frustrated because I want my life back! I want to be able to do everything I used to do before without any problems. I want to be able to enjoy going to dinner with my husband again. I hate these new limitations. I want to be healthy again.
My message to all of you: Don’t take the little things for granted. Appreciate your body and all the things it can do!
Dear AH888
your may have health issues, but your Spirit is holding greatly.
Maybe even shining more!
Good luck, may you regain soon your physical strenght too.
AH888,
This was my answer as well. I understand how you feel and wish you continued strength in your current situation. I can be strong so many days and then one day something like wanting to take a walk outside, my friends going out to lunch when I can’t, someone eating a sandwich, wanting to drive into town to run a silly errand, eating out, holding a job….anything like this will make me so frustrated and angry like I’m broken or faulty or failing somehow. I am proud to say those times come less and less where I give in to the frustration.
You are still a person. You still have worth. You can still contribute of yourself to others! You still matter and love and are loved. Hang in there!! You will be in my thoughts and wishing you all the best.
Raven
Dear friend, many of us get health related issues at some point of time in life. But as Cloudio also said, you have a great Spirit. Keep it up and live your life to the fullest.
Wish you the best!
Kamal
Dear AH888
I’m with you 100% I know I’ll never get back to me. but I’m hoping you’re condition is more treatable, and hopefully curable, Best of luck going forward!
Only have time for stream-of-consciousness, so here I go…
My only real frustrations are big-picture things:
Am I living up to my potential? (Or at least getting mildly close?)
The years have gone by, but where have I gone? I’m blessed to have a very good life. Good career, good finances, good fitness, at least. But should I push for a great life? I know the answer inside.
How can I stop holding back? There’s so much more of me I can bring to my life, but I’ve repressed it b/c I fear what it brings — success, but also the pain of making bigger mistakes along the way. It’s like I’m afraid to step out onto the dance floor. (Literally, too, but for good reason in that case ;-)
I’ve chipped away at this problem in recent years, mainly by stopping erosion and gaining full, deliberate management over the important areas of my life. But I’ve mastered too much small stuff, as a distraction. I’m making progress, but the years are moving by, too. I need to move more quickly.
I actually feel better about my life as I’m writing this. These things were probably truer years ago — and b/c I haven’t tapped this vein since then, they were my first answers as I wrote — but I’ve got a good grip today. With a family to feed and care for — which is fulfilling to me — I have to be methodical. So I’m doing well now, although I do want to “go for it” more deliberately. I play it too safe. Need to be around more people who push me.
I get frustrated when I think that I could have been much more.. not just in an outward way (though that, too) but in how little of myself I’ve explored and foist upon the world. I feel like I’ve been held back by a simple flaw of mine that a good confidant could have corrected early on.
But everybody has something like this, to some degree. I can’t dump like this without returning to a place of gratitude. My life is wonderful if I think about it the right way, or even most ways. I enjoy what I give, and have enjoyed God’s path. And that’s nothing to be frustrated about in the end.
I hear you. I feel so blessed and doing well…but do know I’ve been in busy/productive okay zone….but definitely not to my potential.
Still not sure how to move on to that higher platform. I’m glad something’s clicking for you.
I get really frustrated:
– When I am forced to do the things that I do not fancy doing
– In a noisy place
– When I am running out of time
– When there is communication breakdown
– When someone orders me to do something in a rude way – worse, without even saying thank you
– If there are sudden changes in some aspects of my life which force me to leave my comfort zones almost immediately too
– When other people, or rather those who are close to me, cannot understand me
– If I cannot control the situation nor do the things in the way I want or as I plan
– When I have to spend a huge amount of money
Dear Christine,
These are excellent examples. You seem like a very self-reflective person. I am sensitive to noise as well. Sometimes I think the world is divided in two kinds of people – noisy and quiet!
And I sympathize when people don’t demonstrate bad manners. The words “thank you,” “please,” and “excuse me” are magic words that I wish people would use more often.
As for the money example, I just had to pay my dentist $1000 for dental work. I feel very resentful for that, because there are so many other things I could have bought.
Be well, and thanks for sharing,
AH
Noise is one for me too. I find myself, a lot of times, watching tv but with it muted when commercials come on. Being in control of a situation is a BIG one for me too. I know noone is an island, but sometimes I think I’m the only one.
I am right there with the noise as well…loud noises, repetitive noises especially. They can make me feel almost crazy sometimes! Trust me you are not alone there. :)
You (all of you) sound like what is called a Highly Sensitive Person, which is someone who is easily affected by sensory input, noise in particular. A lot of HSPs feel a need to be in control of situations because otherwise they get overwhelmed sensorily. There are websites devoted to this phenomenon, and ways to cope, which might help you feel less frustrated.
That said, I agree with you about all of those frustrations!
I feel ya Christine ! I also hate to be forced to do something , Something which I may consider a “stupid ” way of doing things , Noise is also a get on my nerves kind of thing ” shhhhhh !”And your other , some one forgetting to say thank you …URG ! . But all attitude adjustments I suppose . Have a great day .
Hello all,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here. I didn’t know that my answers today would raise some interesting discussions among us. Anyhow, it’s really nice to read all your comments about my above answers!
Have a good weekend, everyone!
Christine
I guess the following will be things that frustrate me:
1) Not being able to do my big pieces on a daily basis. Everyday, I have big pieces for myself to accomplish. Things that will move me towards my goals. If I find that these are not done, I will be upset.
2) Tension and unhappiness at home. I crave to come back to a peaceful and happy home. When this does not happen, I do feel upset. But than again, I believe that I am in control of this. There are little things that I could do to make our living better.
Just a thought here, but perhaps if you break down your big pieces into smaller pieces, they will be less overwhelming and easier to accomplish daily..these of course, will eventually all add up to your big pieces.
Hi Jimmy,
It sounds like you are moving in the right direction. For your big pieces as Jacquie commented, by dividing them into smaller chunks you can still complete some of them. Sometimes by having a break from doing a task brings renewed ideas and enthusiasm.
Perhaps if you try different combinations you will find a suitable one for you that you can do on one day and a different one on another day when you have a heavier workload.
Another idea to speed you along, find people who share the same goals, you will learn more in a shorter space of time because you will discuss and analyse each others ideas.
Good luck
Bob
Re: tension and happiness at home. What you said: There are little things that I could do to make our living better.
Very wise.
It is easy to let those “little” things go but the payback for making that effort can be huge.
Frustrations keep me realize my actual thoughts, feelings and actions as self – realization. I get so frustrated when I am wasting my time, as it goes so fast. This shows that I am not productive at all and I need to find the reasons why. Some of the contributing factors are: fatigue, fear, lack of interest and motivation, lack of knowledge (technical know how) and skills, poor time management, poor self-esteem, as well as simply with a procrastination attitude. At the end of the day, I realize that it was another opportunity that I had let is passed. So I lost and that makes me feel unhappy and ungrateful to God but He always tell me not to give up, keep on trying because no matter what happens, He is always there for us, in bad and good times with His unconditional love. God is loving and merciful.
People who choose stupidity frustrate me. I’m talking about people who don’t take the time to think about the implications of their actions before they act. It ranges from people who change lanes on the highway without signaling to people at work that send emails that just should never have been sent… I really think if people would stop choosing stupidity, the word would be a way better place to live!! Being alive on 11-11-11 is pretty cool!
Dear Nancy,
I, too, wish that people acted more responsibly. I wish people would realize how much their actions affect other people’s lives, especially if they are reckless. If they realized how their behavior affected other people, they would also realize that acting in a loving and positive way could also help other people.
I know this is true because I used to be one of those people who acted impulsively, and stupidly. I have no excuse except being young and foolish. Fortunately, with age and with wise friends, I was able to change my attitude and my life for the better. Now I can see clearly that we all have responsibility for ourselves and this extends to our family, our neighbors, our communities, and our world.
Warm wishes,
AH
I know it is a broad statement but it frustrates me when people are too selfish or lazy to do the right thing. For example, when my coworkers refuse to walk five feet to the recycling bin and toss their plastic soda and water bottles in the trash, it drives me insane.
I become annoyed when people refuse to take responsibility for their actions and start to blame others to reduce their own culpability. Instead of playing the blame game, use that time to work as a team to solve the problem.
I get frustrated when people are inconsiderate and rude for absolutely no reason. Living in a major metropolitan area, it seems as though adults have forgotten the use of phrases like “excuse me”,” please” and “thank you”. Courtesy is such a simple concept yet so difficult for so many to grasp.
Most unfortunately, I am often frustrated with my own curse of procrastination. It is my very worst trait.
Dear Tenetta,
I can definitely empathize with you. I was the one who set up the recycling center at work, but it was seldom used. It’s amazing how my co-workers acted at work, but they would never dare act that way at home!
I, too, am cursed with procrastination. Ugh. A couple of things that have helped me are:
http://http-server.carleton.ca/~tpychyl/ (very informative, includes link to e-book and podcasts)
and
http://zenhabits.net/un-procrastinate/ (another e-book and excellent blog)
Best of luck,
AH
Thank you so much for the links AH888. I need all the help I can get but this is something about myself that I know really needs to change.
Thanks again :D
I like zen habits and recommend it greatly. He has an entire site that is just as awesome with al lot of articles of every topic imaginable. I am checking the other site out now. Thanks for the source.
I get frustrated when I’m not able to do things or can’t keep a promise due to poor health.
People who listen, but do not hear are frustrating.
When I don’t have patience, I get frustrated with myself.
Many small things frustrate me….cellphone users in a restaurant, tailgaters, being interrupted when I’m talking, running out of milk in the middle of the day for my tea and coffee, trivial things like this. I often get frustrated at feeling frustrated over things that aren’t important.
When I’m driving, and the person in front of me switches lanes without signaling- I feel they don’t respect other drivers.
When I am using my computer, and I run into hardware problems – I feel so helpless.
When I am not chasing my dreams, not being productive. I’ve graduated college, with a degree I do not plan to use. I hope to pursue another field, but given the little time I have had before, I need to do a lot of work to catch up. Yet, I find myself lacking the motivation and discipline. Perhaps, I just need a break- but what if I were in less fortunate conditions? Perhaps, I am afraid- because I might fail when I really try. But I’m frustrated with myself, that I have the time and am not utilizing it well. I thought when I followed my “dream”, it would come easy. But then again, it wouldn’t be a dream if it were so easy. I’ll just remind myself it’s okay to not always be so productive, and keep working at it slowly, until one day, I forget about it because it becomes second nature.
Right at this moment it is fatigue that is frustrating me. I want to stay up and write. I’ve been using a website called 750words.com as an incentive to write at least 750 words a day. But today has been a long day for me. I got up at 5 am. Did a presentation at a conference and drove home for a 4+ hour drive. So my body and brain are pooped and I don’t think my writing would be very good right now. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak and need its rest. I will get back in action tomorrow. Promise.
What sort of conference?
~being tapped on the shoulder
~not getting done everything my “To Do” list
~lack of regard or respect and love for Mother Nature
~lack of logic, reason, coherance
~narrow-mindedness and dogmatism
~inconsideration for others
~social injustice
~I hate it when people don’t think for themselves or take care of their health and then claim the “victim” mentality!
~abortion
~animal abuse
~making unscientific conclusions
~mess and disorganization
~people eat meat
~justifying opinions without research
~murder
~corruption
~racism, sexism
~child abuse
~waiting on people
~being told what to do
~having people complain all the time to me and not taking responsibility for themselves
~most types of confinement
~bossy, selfish people
~not listening to others
~making excuses for ones own faults
Profoundand broad-based reflection.on the subject.
sona
~denying God without searching for evidence
~most forms of stereotyping
~not being able to do something for myself
~working really late
~I hate how crimes are not aptly punished
Nothing frustrates me more than realising that I could’ve handled the situation, or the person(s) better than to let them frustrate me or get to me after the episode or event is over.
What frustrates me? People being late. Computers not working properly. Not being able to understand instructions written or verbal. Bad drivers. People who talk but never listen. The monotony of household chores. The price of hydro.
But in the end it is my choice to allow these frustrations to affect my mood or not and I choose to ignore them as much as is possible.
I believe that what we put out we get back, so I try to live in a positive frame of mind. I try to live in the moment and seek joy and good things in the moment.
As a reminder to always stay positive I wear a special bracelet that is with me at all times, to remind me to look on the positive side, to attune myself to the generosity of the universe and to leave the rest behind.
Hi Kate,
It is good to live in a positive frame of mind and choose to focus on the good things. We are all shaped by our thoughts and surroundings. I surround myself with as many positive things as possible, people, ideas, books, food, environment. I like your special bracelet that helps you to remain positive and strong, it is great to have a reminder that acts as an anchor to move us in the direction we wish to go.
Bob
What frustrates me is when I make a mistake with something. Like with my job. If I haven’t checked medications for that day and someone runs out, I can still get it from the pharmacy but I feel like I should have been on top of it. Someone said that when you get frustrated with yourself in making a mistake, it’s showing you that your not perfect. This is such a hard thing for me. I’m getting there, but it’s so hard.
Ignorance frustrates me. My lack of focus and low work ethic frustrates me. I know I can do better, but I’m lazy and distracted.
What’s really frustrating me right now though, is that one of my cousins is getting married tomorrow. And I had no idea until two days ago. I know that we haven’t really talked in a very long time, but are family and we used to be friends. Maybe it’s a false sense of entitlement, but I want to go. You would think I’d be invited! Unless she is having a super small wedding but I sincerely doubt that is the case. I don’t know, I just feel like I would be inviting her if I was the one getting married. It’s a weird feeling, for sure. It’s almost like a door is closing on our ability to reach out to one another. When she was simply dating and I hadn’t met her guy, it wasn’t a big deal. But then she got engaged. Just a few months ago. How was I supposed to know that they’d get married so soon? I tried reaching out once… got nothing back. But then again it was through facebook. I probably should have called, since now it feels like there is a huge chasm that will take a bridge to get into each other’s lives again. Oh well. It’s very sad and right now this really frustrates me that I will never see her as a “single” woman again. Blah.
Yes, I am being petty. Normally I’m all about how the human trafficking problem frustrates me, but I can’t go there right now. I’d get way to mad.
Hi Elizabeth, something similar happened with my cousins. I had a second cousin getting married, but none of her first cousins were invited due to the budget they had I think. Somehow my wife and I were invited because I’m the cousin of the father, even though I’m in a similar age group to the second my cousins. Anyway, one of the cousins who wasn’t invited got married recently, and it turns out she’d invited all but the other cousin who hadn’t invited her and the other cousins that time. So clearly these things do upset people.
In your case, I would only guess that if they decided to get married so soon after becoming engaged, they probably wouldn’t have much money to spend on the wedding. The best thing to do would be to find out as much as you can. Why you didn’t find out until the last minute, why you weren’t invited and so. It’s better to know the full story before jumping to conclusions. Perhaps your cousin felt bad about telling people she was getting married, but that they weren’t invited? Whatever the case, just stay positive :)
I thought I don’t have that many but putting them down on paper — looks like I still have quite a number still at loose out there!
* Untidy table, untidy sink, untidy house, untidy closets — in fact anything cluttered and untidy. I just need to declutter and leave everything neat and tidy before I can even begin to sit down at a table to work or to cook. I just can’t work or cook in an untidy environment. I am a neatness freak!
* Waiting — waiting for somebody to get ready, or somebody to arrive on time for an appointment. I feel we should always respect other people’s time and have better time management on our part. For some people, this is just habitual and nothing you say can change them. The way I handle this is just inform the other person that the appointment is at an earlier time or take it easy myself and not rush.
* Not keeping to your word — I feel that once a word is given, one should always keep to it. Otherwise, don’t say it.
* Busybody people — there are still some people who will ask you the most atrocious questions and not give you the privacy. The way I handle this is just smile at them, give some vague answers and basically stay away from them. Oh, yes, and send them some love in my mind. I think they need it very much.
I’m sure there are more if I dig deeper, but for now, these are major, to me.
P.S. I have opened a Gravatar account and have a pic but it won’t come out, somehow! Let’s see whether it will come out today. If not, can somebody please help me out?
Hi Asni,
I find I get frustrated with similar situations and people and so I can understand your sentiments.
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