11 Blatant Reasons Why You Are Fat (And Will Continue To Be)
by Celes | 
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Being in United States, I noticed how people here can get quite large in size. While there are plenty of people here who are in good shape and health, there seems to be more overweight people (per segment of population) compared to outside US, and the ones who are overweight seem significantly larger than the average overweight person outside US.
(For what it’s worth, I’ve been in cities such as New York City, Washington DC, Philadephia, Boston, Los Angeles and soon San Francisco, where people are probably more health conscious than other US states. I can imagine the situation is probably worse in southern states like Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana and Oklahoma.)
A quick search on Google reveals that obesity is indeed a growing issue in US, despite efforts to control the problem. About one-third (33.8%) of US adults today are obese, with 17% of children and adolescents aged 2-19 who are obese. (Source: Centers for Disease Control and Preventation).
What is it that makes people fat? Is it the lack of healthy food options? Is it the lack of exercising facilities? Is it the lack of knowledge on healthy living?
Possibly, but I don’t think that’s the main reason. If anything, I think US (at least in the cities) has provided a conducive climate (over the years) to live healthily.
For example, in the past few months I’ve been here, I see calorie data available almost everywhere. For example, Starbucks in US has calorie data listed clearly beside each drink and food item – something I’ve never seen before in the Starbucks in Holland, Germany, Paris, London, Singapore, or other countries. Almost every item in the supermarkets here has nutritional information listed on the pack. A good number of restaurants have calorie data listed as well, much to my pleasant surprise. (Turns out there was a legislation passed 2 years ago, in 2010, where major food chains are mandated to display the calorie data.)
I also find there are so many healthy options here (again, at least in the cities, because that’s where I’ve been at), far more than other places I’ve been in. Salad bars are common place. There are more organic options than other countries I’ve visited. In Ralphs, a major supermarket chain in California, they have a salad bar where you can pick and mix your own salad. I’ve found salad mixes and greens to be very affordable too.
As to knowledge on healthy living, information is so readily available today that ignorance is simply not an excuse anymore. Internet is an immediate resource for free information. Google has made it so easy to get information whenever you want to. Online bookstores like Amazon and Barnes and Noble have books on all topics imaginable. Depending on where you live, libraries continue to be a great place to peruse books for free.
What does this mean then? It means at the end of the day, it boils down to you. Doesn’t matter if the environment around you supports a healthier lifestyle or not. Sure it helps some, but if you already have the correct beliefs surrounding food and eating built into you, plus the intention to be healthy, it will work out itself. This is why some people are thin no matter where they live, while some people are obese even if they are surrounded by healthy people.
Hence, in today’s post, I’d like to share 11 top reasons why you are fat – or at the very least, not at your desired weight. I’m writing this to get you thinking about your weight, if you are not already doing so. Even if you are of normal weight, it doesn’t mean you are healthy, especially if you don’t eat healthily.
Don’t get offended by this post, because I’m only trying to help. If anything, all these points applied to me at some point in the past, with some of them up until recently. I see this post as an awareness trigger for all of you out there, and a self-reminder for me.
This post is targeted at people who aren’t at their ideal weight – not necessarily those who are overweight or obese, though they may well be. It is not targeted at Americans nor America (I know some Americans who eat/live more healthily than some non-Americans I know). It is also not targeted at people who are overweight due to medication. If you are, I’m sympathetic to your situation, and I hope you can get off your medication soon so you can return to your desired weight.
Important: For those of you reading this who are underweight or near underweight (having a BMI under 18.5), this post does not apply to you. You need to be looking on how to *gain* weight, not how to *lose* weight. Please seek help right away, be it from a nutritionist, doctor, or a friend if you suspect you have bulimia or anorexia, which are very serious eating disorders that can cost you your life. Stop playing around with your body and your health, because you only have one life to live.
Let’s now start with reason #1, shall we?
1. You have too many excuses
Do you always seem to have a reason not to exercise or eat healthily?
“Oh I’m too tired to exercise. I’ll go tomorrow.” (And then you say the same thing tomorrow.)
“I want to stick to my diet, but I’m also having a strong craving for X. I’ll restart my diet after I eat this.” (But you never do.)
“I should watch my diet but it’s Thanksgiving/Christmas/Chinese New Year/[insert some celebration] and there will be lots of great food. I’ll return to my diet after this is over.” (Then comes the next event which makes you put off your healthy living plans yet again.)
“I’m too busy to go to the gym. You guys go ahead without me.” (But somehow you still have time for Facebook, Youtube and Twitter.)
How many excuses are you going to give until you realize nothing will change until you own up to the situation? (see #10)? Do you want to be healthy or not? Do you want to get your act together now and work on becoming healthy, or do you want to mop around until you get struck with heart diseases and a myraid of health conditions? It’s your call.
Read:
2. You eat more than you should
Weight management is about consuming in line with your calorie needs. If you’re fat, it simply means you have been consuming more than your body needs, full stop. Since your body doesn’t need the extra calories/energy, it has converted them into fats and deposited them somewhere on your body – be it your hips, thighs, arms, waist, belly, or face.
What does this mean then? Identify your body’s daily energy needs (otherwise known as TDEE = Total Daily Energy Expenditure). Then, consume in line with your daily energy needs. Create your ideal meal plans that fit your daily needs. The following tasks from Live a Healthier Life in 21 Days Challenge will help you in that:
3. You turn to food for comfort (You eat not to fill yourself, but your emotions)
Rather than eat to feed your body, you eat to feed your emotions. Instead of learning to deal with your issues, and your emotions, you eat when you feel unhappy, stressed out, anxious, angry, disappointed, empty, or [insert emotion here]. Bingeing is not uncommon to you.
Since eating triggers the release of serotonin, a hormone believed to contribute to happy feelings, you feel happy for a short while. It seems like the eating is justified because you emerge a happier person.
However, since food does not address the original issue, the issue arises again after a while. (See: 7 Reasons Emotional Eating is Bad for You) You keep turning to eating to offset your negative emotions, to regain that feeling of peace. This creates an erratic eating behavior that has zero connection with your physical needs. More often than not, you eat more than what your body needs. (see #2)
This overeating builds up over time. You slowly gain weight. Before you know it, you’re heavier than you’ve ever been, which crushes your already diminishing self-confidence.
Anguished, you turn to eating for comfort. This sets you off on new cycle all over again, making you gain more weight.
What should you do then? Start from the very root of it – your emotional eating behavior.
I’ve written a comprehensive 6-part series on how to stop emotional eating. This is the one guide you need to read, above all else, if you’re truly committed to addressing your emotional eating problem. Bookmark it and keep reading it until you completely unroot your emotional eating behavior. It’s a matter of time before you do so.
Read: How To Stop Emotional Eating (6-part series)
4. You have false notions surrounding food and eating
Besides what’s already covered in this list post, you have other false notions surrounding food and eating. For example, thinking that X food is good for your health when it isn’t. Thinking you need to eat when you don’t. Thinking eating is loving yourself when it’s no more a neutral activity like breathing and passing waste. And so on.
It’s not possible to have an exhaustive list of these falsified notions, because it’s dependent on how one was raised around food and eating. Everyone has his/her set of false notions surrounding food and eating formed from childhood.
For me, I had a lot of such false notions, of which I shared a good number in the How To Stop Emotional Eating series. These false notions include seeing food as a symbol of love, thinking eating was a necessary part of celebrations, thinking I had to eat whenever I returned home (like a reward for a long day of work), associating certain food with certain messages which would result in random cravings out of the blue (e.g., eggs = goodness, chocolate = reward), thinking it was better to overeat than undereat (when both were equally bad), perceiving eating as loving myself (when it should be a neutral activity), among others.
These contributed to a compulsive eating behavior which was detrimental for my body, beyond aesthetically displeasing effects of weight gain. It was only through listing my false notions, sorting through them, and breaking every single one of them did I regain a normal relationship with food.
So how do you know if something is a false notion or not? Simple – If it causes you to eat outside of (be it above or below) your daily energy expenditure. Food is designed for the purpose of fueling our body, and as long as we consume out of our needs, there’s something to be corrected.
And how do you break this false notion? By understanding how it was first formed and replacing it with the right belief. The articles below will help you do that:
- How To Stop Emotional Eating, A Crucial Guide, Part 1: Tackling the Causes of Emotional Eating
- How To Create Real Change In Life: Address Root Cause vs. Effects
- Day 25 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days Program on Beliefs
- How To Stop Emotional Eating, A Crucial Guide, Part 2: Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship with Food
5. You eat based on external factors (vs. your body’s needs)
You eat based on external factors, such as:
- When you pass by a food stall / restaurant / kiosk.
- When people ask you to eat.
- When you are offered food.
- When it is the supposed meal time (8am, 12pm, 7pm) for the day.
- When people are eating.
- When you see food.
- When you are in a celebration.
- As long as there is food on your plate.
…as opposed to eating based on (a) hunger cues (b) caloric needs (c) nutritional needs. You keep eating as long the external conditions are in place, or until you feel busted from all the food you’ve taken in – usually with the latter occurring first. Unfortunately, this is not healthy at all.
The 3 factors above (hunger cues, caloric needs, and nutritional needs) should be the only factors that guide your eating behavior, because they are based on why we have to eat to begin with. Not anything else.
Read: Step #1 of How To Stop Emotional Eating, A Crucial Guide, Part 2 on eating based on your needs
6. You don’t know how to say no
How many of us have eaten before because we didn’t know how to say no to food offers or meal invitations?
Everytime we say yes to something, we inadvertently say no to something else. Think about the things you’re saying no to whenever you say yes to an invitation to eat (even though you’re not hungry). You’re saying no to weight management. You’re saying no to better health. You’re saying no to your current slimmer body. You’re saying no to your healthy way of life.
What should dictate your eating? Should it be what others say, or should it be your needs? Who’s the owner of your life? Learn how to say no to food you don’t need, starting from today.
Read: How To Say No To Others, The Only Guide You Ever Need
7. You don’t plan your meals
You don’t plan your meals. You eat based on your whims and fancies, without considering whether you need to eat or not. You eat based on whether others want to eat or not. You eat when you’re invited to eat or when you’re offered food (see #6).
This results in 2 problems - Firstly, you eat more often than you should. Secondly, you eat more than you should each time (quantity-wise).
Both results in overeating for the day. Consuming an excess of X calories a day may not seem like a case for concern, but imagine doing that every day. Overeating 500 calories a day means taking in an excess of 3,500 calories a week – equivalent to 1 pound of fat! That’s over 4 pounds in a month, and 52 pounds in a year!! And people still wonder why they are gaining weight!
Meal planning is important, because it lets you (1) take ownership over what you put into your body (2) gain awareness of how much and what you should consume for the day (3) consume exactly what is ideal for your body. The following tasks in Live a Healthier Life in 21 Days Challenge is meant to inculcate this habit:
- 21DHL Day 2 – Create a Calorie List
- 21DHL Day 4 – Create Your Ideal Meal Plan
- 21DHL Day 6 – Follow Your Ideal Meal Plan
- 21DHL Day 20 – Start Your Healthy Living Guidebook
8. You eat disgusting food
The quality of our diet has deteriorated so much over the years. Today, deep fried burger patties, highly processed burger buns, oil-drenched fries, sugar-loaded candy bars, carbonated drinks, sugar-laden milkshakes, highly salted potato chips, and all kinds of unhealthy food dominate our diet.
Unfortunately, these items are also high in calories, high in preservatives, low in nutritional value, and quite frankly, a detriment to good health.
Have you watched Super Size Me before? It’s a documentary of a guy (Morgan Spurlock) who went on a 30-day McDonald’s only diet, to see the effects on one’s health. He ate 3 times a day, consuming only food from McDonald’s. The results of this experiment were jarring:
As the film begins, Spurlock is in physically above average shape [...]. [He] stood 6 feet 2 inches (188 cm) tall, had a body weight of 185.5 lbs (84 kg).
After five days Spurlock has gained 9.5 pounds (4.5 kg) (from 185.5 to about 195 pounds). It is not long before he finds himself experiencing depression, and he claims that his bouts of depression, lethargy, and headaches could be relieved by eating a McDonald’s meal. At his second weigh-in, he had gained another 8 pounds (3.5 kg), putting his weight at 203.5 lb (92 kg).
On Day 21, Spurlock has heart palpitations. His internist, Dr. Daryl Isaacs, advises him to stop what he is doing immediately to avoid any serious health problems.
On March 2, Spurlock makes it to day 30 and achieves his goal. [...] the then-32-year-old Spurlock gained 24½ lbs. (11.1 kg), a 13% body mass increase, a cholesterol level of 230, and experienced mood swings, sexual dysfunction, and fat accumulation in his liver.
(Source: Wikipedia)
While there were questionable aspects about the way the experiment was conducted, such as the reckless way Spurlock ate, and the unnecessary self-mandate to clean the plate each time (as opposed to stopping when he was full – which led to a consumption of 5,000 calories a day, which was way more than what he really needed), the film nonetheless established what all of us have known all along but refused to admit to ourselves – that junk food isn’t going to lead us to good health.
It took Spurlock fourteen months to lose the weight gained from his experiment using a vegan diet supervised by his future wife, a chef who specializes in gourmet vegan dishes.
How about you? Are you knowingly eating junk food even though you know it’s not good for you? When are you going to get your act together and embark on a healthier diet? It all starts today.
9. You sit on your butt the whole day
Your life is marked by sedentariness. Wake up, eat, sit, use the computer, lay on the couch, watch TV, lie on the bed, sleep. You don’t exercise, you don’t do any physical activity, you don’t get your body moving at all. The cycle starts all over again the next day.
I’m no personal trainer, but it’s obvious that if you lead a lifestyle marked by high physical activity, you will burn more calories than someone who sits on his/her butt the whole day. Not only that, you will have a more toned body, compared to a flabby, weak body with under-developed muscles.
If you find it hard to exercise because there are no ready exercising facilities near you, or because of constantly changing weather conditions, you may find home aerobic videos helpful. Youtube has many of such videos you can peruse. Read: How To Workout Whenever and Wherever You Want
10. You refuse to take responsibility (for your obesity)
A few years back, I learned there were actually people who sued McDonald’s for their obesity.
When I heard of this, my first reaction was: “Seriously?”.
Sure, McDonald’s has probably contributed to the weight gain of millions of people around the world. It has also undoubtedly supported many people’s unhealthy lifestyles. I would personally describe most of their food as grossly unhealthy (see #8). Same for all fast food chains out there, be it Burger King, Wendy’s, Popeyes, KFC, Taco Bell, or Pizza Hut.
However, they are a secondary factor, and not the real reason, for your obesity.
The real reason is because of you.
Everyone knows these places serve crap food. Everyone knows these are not the places to dine at if you want to lead a healthy lifestyle. By choosing to eat there despite knowing what they serve, you’ve chosen to be fat. Even if you do sue the fast food chains for your obesity and win the case, it does not change the fact that (a) you are obese (b) you will continue to be obese until you get your act together.
The same applies for everything else you may be pointing the finger at for your obesity – be it your parents, your friends, your environment, your country, the society, the media, or the world.
The minute you take responsibility for your current weight, you will realize it’s up to you to achieve your ideal weight. You will set healthy living goals, create healthy living plans, and execute them, so you can get started on living your ideal life.
But if you keep pointing fingers at others, then you will continue to live in this fat suit. A fat suit that’s concealing the real you.
Here are some inspiring stories of amazing people who were once obese, but lost those excess weight because they took ownership of their condition:
- 8 Amazing Weight Loss Success Stories
- More Weight Loss Success Stories (Women’s Health Magazine)
- Amazing Weight Loss Success (MSN, Fitbie)
11. You secretly want to be fat (You hate yourself)
So let’s say you have thoroughly addressed the 10 factors above, but you still have trouble with your weight. If anything, you continue to eat in a frenzied fashion, and you gain more weight with each passing month.
If so, have you considered the possibility that a part of you wants to be fat? That a part of you has a negative self-image, and being fat gives you an excuse to hate yourself? That being fat lets you avoid dealing with other things in life? That being fat makes things easier?
If so, I can relate. A part of what made me overeat in the past was because I was angry at myself at failing (yet again) in my diet, and eating more was a great self-punishment tool since it would detract me from my weight loss goal. I was also very inferior of my body, and being fat was my way of avoiding my body image issues (It was an all or nothing mindset. Note I was never fat in the true sense of the word – but I was gradually gaining weight over the years.). A part of me also secretly wanted to be fat, because I hated myself and it was my way of making the self-hate easier.
What should you do in such a situation? There is no quick fix, because self-hate and body image issues are both very deep issues that can’t be resolved overnight (the latter is a topic I intend to cover in the future). The easiest way is to start loving yourself – one step at a time. It may not change the situation right away, but it will trigger the start of a healing journey.
Read:
- Day 20 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days Program on Loving Yourself
- 101 Ways To Be a Better Person
End Note
I hope this article has triggered you to think about your weight, and as a corollary, your health. If you have a friend who is not at his/her ideal weight, pass this on to him/her.
Take responsibility for your weight and your health. It starts today.
Check out more related articles:
- How To Break Out of Recurring Patterns in Life – Break out of your bad habits, such as emotional eating and inertia towards exercising (exclusive article in Personal Excellence Book, Volume 2)
- Cultivate Life Transforming Habits in 21 Days – It takes 3 weeks to make or break a habit. Cultivate positive habits to aid you in your weight loss.
- 25 Tips To Lose Weight – My recommended tips on how to lose weight in a healthy, sustainable way
- How To Stop Emotional Eating (series) – Comprehensive 6-part series on how to stop emotional eating once and for all.
- Live a Healthier Life in 21 Days - 21-day challenge to live a healthier life. The Jan 2012 run is now over, but you can bookmark the page, create your 21-day plan and do the challenge yourself. Create your healthy living journal in the Health & Fitness forum in the Personal Excellence Forums and get the support of other forum members.
Images: Fat Belly, Emotional Eating, Eating, Fast Food, Couch Potato, Self-Hate
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| Filed in: Awareness & Growth, Cultivate Habits, Emotional Mastery, Healthy Living | Posted on Jan 20 2012 | |
So real reasons and so greaaat post, Celes. Big up!
Thanks Alban – that’s very kind of you!
Nice one Celes! The title alone should get the attention of many readers. A good choice of photos too. The one of the kid on the couch with the cat made me laugh
Have you seen the movie ‘Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead’ yet?
Hey Glenn! No I’ve not seen it yet. I should check it out – sounds like an interesting title. What is it about?
Hi Celes, it’s a documentary about an aussie guy who visits the US and does a juice fast there. The ending is really good
Celes,
Once I read that you were visiting the US, I knew this article was coming.
I was going to write a huge titrate about the reasons why the US is so unhealthy but I’ll only give everyone the main points:
1) The US is all about fast, easy, and convenient.
We want every now and as cheaply/quickly as possible. Most business models in the UST follow this; hence why many use “cheap” overseas labor to produce our products (this is a whole other issue in and of itself).
2) Our food is genetically modified.
So no longer do we have just processed foods with synthetic chemicals – they are now making our corn, soybean, and wheat seeds in laboratories
. So we don’t really have “natural” food anymore. In my opinion, this is one of the many reasons for our weight gain (plus the fact that they put chemicals in food that make them more additive, ahhhhh!!!). Read the Omnivore’s Dilemma – great book on this sicken subject.
As a side note: our food isn’t really food anymore. Did you know Monsanto patented (?!?!?) their soybean seed? (Yes, the US government allows you to patent living things now.) If you are a farmer that grows soybeans for commercial purposes, you have to use Monsanto’s soybean or they will shut down your farm. Family owned farms are collapsing left and right. It’s disgusting and makes me embarrassed to be American. (Watch Food, Inc. for more on this subject – horrifying!)
3) Government subsidies rule.
High fructose corn syrup is in everything (like my wheat bread). Why? For those who don’t know, the US government subsidizes corn. This makes it cheap and readily available. From what I’ve read, a corn based diet is not healthy.
Sorry for the long comment but you’ve touched on something here that I’m super passionate about and unfortunately, something that I don’t have the means to change (i.e. lack of money).
Hey Tina, thanks so much for your comment.
It has indeed been interesting coming into US, and seeing for myself the larger portion sizes and “heavier” people that many spoke about Americans. I’m also intending to write an article about the culture of wastage – it’s everywhere in our world today, but again seems more prevalent in US than other places I’ve been in. What I’ve observed so far is that Americans in general do not seem to be mindful of their consumption needs and scarcity of resources, which leads to a lot of wastage in their daily lives, be it energy (utilities), water, and food.
Oh, Amerians are so wasteful. It’s another think that irks me. I’m in the environmental field and I’ve done some research into conspicuous consumption. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption)
Americans are consumed with “keeping up with the Jones” which has created this “throw away” mentality. (Read the Social History of Trash by Susan Strasser – you have to already know American history in order to understand the timeline but a great read on this subject nonetheless.)
To enable this, manufacturers started to purposely produce products that only last for 2-3 years. Also known as planned obsolescene (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_obsolescence). Most eletronic products* fall into this catergory along with cars and other machines. Some manufacturers are changing this model as consumers started to complain but not at the rate we need to in order to save our environment.
Scary stuff people!
*Electronics have tons of harmful chemicals that can pollute the environment once the product is thrown into a landfill. Most US states now have laws that ban electronics from being thrown away in your everyday trash. This is great but there is no enforcement – a trash collector is not going to sift through your garbage to see what is there. Same thing goes for recycling – I have so many friends that don’t do it and it drives me nuts!!
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, a very shy, average student who run from school to avoid talking to others grew up into a man who led the nation of 500,000,000 against the most powerful monarchy in the whole world, The British Empire – and won.
Who will lead us against the power of food lobbyings and powerful, unscrupulous Food Inc? You? Me? Do we care enough? Or will be simply open our mouths to accept the genetically modified mush that is provided?
The European Union and United States governments are in strong disagreement over the EU’s ban on most genetically modified foods. In EU people took to the streets to protect it and they are very strongly supporting the ban of GMO.
In US many people would like better labelling but they simply do not care enough to fight. Instead we have perfected The Art of Complaining. We have to take to the streets and pressure politicians to exert a change. On a micro scale buy local (though this may be cross-polinated from nearby GMO field as well)..
I am also passionate about the subject but after work, kids, groceries and the dirty socks waiting to be washed not much energy left to fight. Hopefully someone young and enthusiastic can lead this action.. Or am I simply making excuses for my own laziness?
Celestine, I think you need to be careful with the advice you’re giving out. Whilst it is certainly true that many people eat unhealthily and irresponsibly, following your advice and taking on board your criticisms could actually be very dangerous for some people, in fact for anyone who takes it too far. Whilst you yourself have eaten emotionally in the past, others starve themselves emotionally – that is, people with anorexia. They believe that they are too fat, even though they might be dangerously underweight, they plan their diets down to the minutest detail, would never miss a gym session, and would never dream of going to Macdonalds. They actually have to do the exact opposite of what you are advocating – they need to lighten up around food, accept that no food is bad if eaten in moderation, understand the importance of animal protein and dietry fats to their recovery, and also eat well in excess of a ‘normal’ diet to have any hope of restoring themselves to a normal BMI. Importantly, they also need to understand the deeper issues of why they have a disordered relationship with food and body image, and here what you say about emotional eating is actually very relevant.
So please, I know you mean well, and I understand where you’re coming from, but I think that you need to put a very big health warning at the top of this post that if you show any signs of any sort of eating disorder, not to read further!!
Hi Phil, thanks for your well-intended note. I think it’s possible for any type of advice online or offline to be misconstrued or misread in any way, if the person is not in the right consciousness state to begin with. I think it’s quite obvious in the article that I’m not encouraging anorexia or bulimia in any way (nowhere do I encourage people to be underweight or become stick skinny), and long-term readers should know that is not the direction I’m coming from as well. It is honestly outside of my domain if someone interprets my writings to be something that it’s not even intended to be to begin with – I will write as responsibly as I can (which has been what I have been doing since I started the site), but ultimately I cannot be held responsible for how people interpret what I say, especially if that’s not even my intended message to begin with.
That said, I’ve put a disclaiming note to people who are underweight or near underweight that they should look into gaining weight vs. losing weight. Eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia are indeed very, very serious issues which I do not support in any way. (I personally have a friend who was anorexic, and it cost her half her health). In particular, I recommend anyone who suspect he/she is suffering from this condition to read Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness, which is about how actress/model Portia battled with eating disorders when she was younger, and how it nearly cost her her life.
This is excellent, thank you Celes and very well researched..
From your blog I learned about Joel Fuhrman’s “Eat to Live” – over time I”ve lost nearly 50 pounds and feel great. Thank you, Celestine!
Thank YOU, Marcia!
Congratulations on your nearly 50 pound loss! That is an amazing feat!
Finally! Someone told it as it is. Honestly.
We are a nation of obese because we are lazy and because we can.
People need to start taking responsibility for their own actions and stop hiding behind ADD, ABC, bad mommy/daddy, poor self-esteem and other “diseases”. I wonder how the previous generation did it before the self-esteem was invented? How did they managed to stay alive with their defective arrogant parents, wide spread spandking, full speed humiliation at school, wars, no parenting books, no 1-800 lines to save the day? I hate to think what would have happend in case a World War III broke out – half of the population would show up with physician referrals, multiple acronym diagnosis, plus “I must see the Seinfield rerun tomorrow of I will be hurt emotionally”.
I am so tired to listen to people excuses about their “genetic” make-up, some misterious fat gene (did not exist in Auschwitz curiously – again a modern invention), poor self-image, compulsion to try the MacDonalds new offering. Get a grip people! We all had very, mid or somewhat disfunctional parents.
It took me 20+ years to overcome emotional overeating habit as I was born to the war survivor generation who NEVER threw away food, cleaned up a plate, or rather 3 plates as 3 full courses and equalled food=love. The work involved was hard indeed but it was worth it. For some it isn’t worth it. For some a piece of potatoe is worth more than their only body, a marvel of natural engineering.
Where is the old fashioned concept of character?
http://charactercounts.org/pdf/PersonOfCharacter-handout-0703.pdf
I fear it has been eaten by some kind of a modern disease. It is so much easier to whine and blame others for your own gluttony than stand up and do what is right, that is respect your body.. as it is the only one you will ever have.
Have a yummy mango..
Hey Success, you’re absolutely right. While I don’t negate the fact that some people do indeed suffer from conditions and are impacted by them, it seems like America in general is a very medicative society. It seems like every other person here suffers from some condition, be it depression, ADHD, anxiety, etc, and everyone has taken medication and/or sought out a therapist, counselor or psychiatrist at some point for the condition – which may well be self-created. I’m not slamming the country, because I like America a lot (I wouldn’t rule out living here one day) and I have a lot of great American friends, just pointing out something I’ve observed from all the different countries I’ve been to before and different cultures I’ve been exposed to.
Hello Celes,
Just like you I am not slamming America. It is a continent of my choice after emigrating from (then) communist country in Europe. America is a country of unlimited opportunity.
I came with an empty pocket, went through the skid row stint, unemployment, menial basic pay job, several night schools and up to the C Suite. It took me “only” 21 years of chipping away, keeping my head to the grind, doing a good job, creating home for my family.
However America is also a country of instant gratification. You want this morsel of food and want it now!! possibly deep fried..and of course breaded as well.. yumm. Now I am laughing at myself as I used to be stuffed baloon-like with excuses for many years on why I deserve to eat (or rather gorge), eat it now and nobody will tell me what to do. Damn It!
The thing is: all change begins with self-examination, an honest look at ourselves and I think your article does it extremely well. It is a great tool to help people realize that change is possible but the bum has to be peeled off the sofa first and the hand must stay off the cookie jar. I had to resort to draconian measures of having my hubby guard our sweet stash under the lock and key at the storage room. But one does what it takes to achieve success… One mourns and forgets and falls in love with chard instead
For me, the positive message in this post was somewhat overshadowed by the negative. I know you said this in your post, but I do have a feeling that if you had visited less affluent cities, you would have had a much different outlook on how America views healthfulness. I know my weight was a bit different when I lived in an area with less crime, so that I felt safer walking place to place alone. My weight was different when I worked 30 hours a week than it is now that I work 60+ hours a week and attend college classes. I don’t consider myself lazy or unmotivated–it’s a sacrifice that I have to make if I want to change my situation. Please don’t forget to show your readers the same respect you would like to be shown. I realize that for you, perhaps the war against fat and negative self image has ended. Some of us are still fighting in the trenches.
If I do not respect and treasure my readers, I would not dedicating my life to helping others grow and doing what I do every day without expecting any form of return, be it money or otherwise, from it. I do not see this as a you or me situation, but rather, “There is this problem out there – so how can all of us work to overcome this *together*?” The former is a viewpoint that delineates, while the latter is one of unity, which is what I subscribe to. This is why I launched the challenges section last year, and conduct challenges every month / every other month so all of *us* can get moving in our goals – *together*, as one single unit and entity. No one will ever be left behind at PE, as long as he/she has the desire to grow.
It’s easy to get sidetracked or feel defensive about what’s shared in this post because it seemingly attacks one’s self-identity and self-worth, especially since the topic of discussion is on one’s weight – which many tend to attach as part of their self-identity. But I recommend to look past that and focus on the message. “What is the article saying? What is the key message behind it? Why am I reacting this way to what is shared? Why do I feel disappointment” (referring to your nick) It might give insight to something deeper.
The self-help junkie I wrote in 2010 triggered some unhappiness and defensiveness in some readers, with even one reader referring to my writing style as “pompous” (refer to the comments section). But it is also this very same article that served as a wake up call to many, who decided to get their act together about their life after reading. Was I being, or trying to be, pompous? Not at all. That’s a ridiculous notion to me, because if I didn’t care, respect, or love all of you, I wouldn’t even bother myself with running this site every day, dedicating my existence to this purpose, or doing all of this for free, much less subject myself to rejection of what I share freely.
If my reply has come across overly elaborate, that’s because I care. I could have easily deleted and dismissed this comment, but I’m not doing that. I hope you can see the intent behind what was written, and not let a few defensive beliefs block you from receiving the message. Don’t attach your weight as part of your self-identity, because that’s not you. Our current physical weight is merely the product of our eating/exercise habits and lifestyle choices in the past period. As long as we set the intention and create the plan, we can break through that and achieve whatever weight it is we set out to gain/lose.
Great article Celes! I totally agree with you. Hopefully this triggers people to have a good think about their life holistically.
Thanks James!
I would like to refer you to http://www.haescommunity.org/, haes meaning Health at Every Size.
Also, I know some bigger people that are very happy with their lives. I can’t imagine saying “you hate yourself” with a straight face to them. It’s possible that they just put on a face every day, but don’t we all to an extent? They seem so happy, even more so than the smaller people I know.
I understand that you care, and that is why you’ve written this article. A lot of the points, 1-8, actually, I feel are very well put. 9-11, however, make large assumptions about anyone who is “fat:” laziness, irresponsibility, and self-hatred. There may be one or a combination or perhaps all of them going on in a single person, but to assume that these are without question reasons why someone is fat and how they will continue to be (with a hope that they will improve after reading this was your actual intention, I hope) is too big of an assumption to make. You can be fat and love yourself. You can be fat and be responsible for your life’s choices. And you can be fat and be very active. My mother, for example, when I was a kid worked all day, came home and made dinner, and took care of the three of us. She has been overweight, as far as I know, for a very long time. She is the most responsible person I know, loves herself as is shown by her zest for life (though, of course I can never know what truly goes on in her head), and is by far NOT lazy.
While I have absolutely no doubt that your intentions are good, I do think that these things have the ability to cause undue pain. I always imagine myself giving someone advice that I read face-to-face. If I were to say to my mother or someone I knew, “you’re fat because you hate yourself.” it’s possible that I could put that idea, something they haven’t even considered, into their head. And sometimes, the suspicion that one hates oneself coupled with some possible insecurity is just enough to make it come to fruition in time.
I in no way mean anything insulting or malicious in this reply. I love your blog. I just happen to strongly disagree with the way those last three numbers were written.
Hi Connor, not all the 11 reasons would apply to everyone. If someone is highly active but overweight, then #9 clearly wouldn’t apply to him/her.
If someone is large and perfectly happy, that’s perfectly fine too. Their life is theirs and ultimately it’s up to them on how they want to lead it. This post is targeted at people who have an ideal (healthy) weight they want to achieve, but have never been able to achieve it. One watch out though is that a lot of people tend to claim they are happy with how they are, but further probing usually reveals they have a vision which they gave up long ago, either because they failed too many times before or they didn’t think it was possible to reach their goal. This applies for all areas of our lives, not just for health and fitness. I can attest to that on a personal level.
I also want to point out that for there to be a reaction to an idea suggests that the thought has already existed in the person all along, albeit subconsciously. As you mentioned, “the suspicion that one hates oneself coupled with some possible insecurity is just enough to make it come to fruition in time”. There would never be a suspicion if the initial belief (or some variant of it) didn’t already exist somewhere in the person – the suspicion is merely a clue of something to look into. The pain that is brought about due to the “mention” of the idea is hence not a newly created pain, but merely processing of an emotion that was never dealt with in the past, and had been suppressed all this while. The next step is then to understand this emotion, and process it accordingly, vs. hiding from it via avoiding any possible “trigger” situations or suppressing it further.
Harsh, in-your-face posts like this tend to invite the most interesting responses, but it’s also such articles that get us thinking about where we are and how we are doing in life. Some of us may react negatively because we feel attacked, some may scoff at what is written, some may sink into depression, while some may use this as the starting point to take action. Whatever it is, it’s part of raising our consciousness in growth. It’s totally okay if you disagree with some points in the article. There is definitely no need to strive for 100% agreement of what we read/hear, I feel – take what’s relevant, discard what’s not, and apply them accordingly. I personally do not always agree with the things I read, and I simply discard with what I do not agree with. The most important thing is all of us remain committed to our growth, keep challenging our beliefs, and keep moving in the right direction of growth. This alone ensures we will ultimately end up in the same place in life (at our highest consciousness level, that is).
Thanks for your comment by the way. I appreciate you taking the time out to share your thoughts.
Your clarification helped. Thank you!
No problem – it’s my pleasure. Thanks Connor!
thyroid gland that too is a cause of overweight. abnormal processing of food can make even a normal(no where near junk) diet to turn a person obese(i mean i have seen people who eat a lot of junk but dont turn obese ‘but yes they are just accumulating junk in their body which causes other problems’)
so its probably worth to check if a person suffers from that problem
also anyone clarify me if i am wrong
Interesting article. Just wanted to say please beware of recommending that people with eating disorders should read “Unbearable Lightness” I’ve heard many times that it’s been triggering to people with eating disorders. I read the book and felt like it was a “how to” guide for anorexics – so many details on what she weighed and the disturbing things she did to get to that weight. There’s also very little about her recovery and nothing that I’d consider to be helpful advice for people who want to get better. Obviously Portia is entitled to tell her story but I’d personally never recommend it to anyone with issues about food.
Interesting – thanks for sharing JJ. I suppose for the anorexics and bulimics, their perception of reality might be so twisted that they can’t be gotten through to unless they first become receptive to changing their condition. I had a friend who used to be anorexic, and everyone would repeatedly tell her how thin she was and how she should stop losing weight. Nothing changed though. It was multiple fainting spells, several hospitalizations and a near-fatal condition which finally changed things. In a way, it’s similar to Portia’s story. Portia also spoke about how she would zoom down to the little inch of “fat” on her body even when she was the thinnest in her career (82 lbs at 5 foot 8 lbs), reflecting how warped the mindset of an anorexic could be. She recommends telling friends who have the condition that they look “sick” or “ill”, and it is a better wake up call than saying they look “too thin”, because the latter is more of a compliment and reinforcing statement than anything.
I’m far from fat but I learned a lot about emotional eating when I did a water and juice fast once. It was only a week but it became very clear to me that I was using food as a substitute for “fun”. I didn’t want to eat because I was hungry but I wanted to eat in order to feel better. This can easily turn into an unhealthy trap!