Kindness Challenge Day 13: Give Someone a Treat

This is Day 13 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge for Nov 2012 where hundreds of participants from around the world get together in spirit to do 14 acts of kindness over 14 days. The challenge is now over, but you can still do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all Kindness Challenge tasks and posts.

Join the Kindness Challenge!

Hello everyone! :D Welcome to Day 13 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge! ;)

Only One More Day To Go!!

We have only ONE more day left before the Kindness Challenge comes to an end!! Have you completed all the twelve assigned tasks so far? Post your results in the comments section! You only have a few final days left to share your results and mingle with the participants, so do so now!

Day 10: Send Flowers to Someone :)

Finally accomplished my task for Day 10, on sending flowers to someone! :) Have updated my progress on Day 11′s post, complete with pictures. Refer to the section “My Day 10 Review: Send Flowers to Someone”.

With the UFM 100.3 Deejays

My Day 12 Review: Forgiveness

Day 12′s task was to: Forgive Someone.

True to yesterday’s task, I wanted to forgive as many people as possible. I thought about all the people whom I still bore resentment on some level, be it subconsciously or consciously, be it from the littlest of incidents or the biggest of conflicts. People whom I had still not forgiven whether because I never had the chance to process the grievance or because the grievance was too deep for me to work through in the past.

So I listed as many names as I could and worked through my past grievances for these people yesterday.

By way of this review section, I’d like to use this space to “declare” (see it more as a self-declaration) that I have forgiven the following people in my life:

  1. That business acquaintance who befriended me as a pretext to get my business contacts a couple of years ago. I have forgiven you for jarring my natural trust and faith in others. May you understand the meaning of true friendship with no agendas attached. I give you the benefit of the doubt that you were unconscious about using people for business purposes, that you were merely overzealous in your business agenda, and that there is some good in you as a person.
  2. That acquaintance who made heaps of empty promises and did not live up to his words. I have forgiven you for your lack of authenticity and poor social etiquette. May you one day understand the importance of staying true to words and commitments.
  3. That friend from my past who took to flaming me on my blog under a pseudonym (years back) and made harsh, debilitating statements about me. I have no idea why you did what you did and I guess I no longer care. I’m sorry that you have to carry so much hate in you and I hope you can release them from your consciousness in due time. I have forgiven you for the hurt you have caused me and I hope you have since moved to a better place.
  4. That friend who lost her temper at me (the same person I talked about in part 2 of the anger series) and turned into a black, nasty soul in the last few minutes of our friendship. I’m sorry our friendship had to end that way. I have already apologized for the grievance which I had caused you, and if you chose to hold on to your anger, I can only feel sorry for you for choosing to carry the hate. I forgive you for the sadness you had caused me and I hope you will one day move to a better place.
  5. That friend who had, on multiple occasions, made me sad and triggered deep episodes of self-doubt. I have forgiven you for the sadness you have caused me. I now recognize that there was simply nothing I could have done to make things turn out differently. I hope you will find the salvation that you need one day but I have finally acknowledged (in my heart, to myself) that I’m not the person to do that for you.
  6. The friend who was discouraging to me when I was sharing with her my problems. I trust that you were not being malicious in your intentions and you were merely acting as you would to any good friend within that context. I thank you for your friendship and I forgive you for the doubts and sadness you had caused me at that point in time.

I feel so much lighter now. :) When you release your past grievances, the person you are truly salvaging is yourself. For those of you who have not posted your update for Day 12 or who have not done Day 12′s task, hop on to the comments section and use it as the forum to process your grieve and unhappiness with others. At the end of it, make the conscious decision to let your grieve go and forgive them.

Now, let’s move on to Day 13′s task, shall we? ;)

Day 13: A Treat

Give a Treat

Isn’t it nice when you get a treat from someone? Be it when a friend foots for your bill, when your tab gets mysteriously paid for, or when someone buys you a meal out of the blue?

For one reason or another, I often get treated by others. When I was traveling in Europe and United States last year, the friends I made there and the people who hosted me would graciously treat me time and again. Even in Singapore, I often get treats from others out of the blue.

I never expect any of those people to treat me, but they do anyway. (While we’re on the topic of treats, I actually don’t expect guys to treat me on dates either, because I think it’s not fair to expect the other party to pay just because he is a guy.) Whenever someone offers to foot the bill for me, I’m always pleasantly surprised. I just feel I’m so blessed and lucky to be surrounded by such gracious and generous individuals.

Because I often get treats, I know how good it feels to receive a treat. While I’ve been brought up with the notion of going dutch, I realized that giving others treats is quite a wonderful feeling. Not just for the recipient, but for yourself as the person giving you the treat. I’ve adopted the practice of giving others treats since my world trip and I say it has made me a more generous person. It has made me less definitive on boundaries between me and others and instead embrace the oneness ideology (not just emotionally or mentally, but now fiscally as well).

So, your task today is to give someone a treat! ;)

Your Task: Give Someone a Treat

Meeting anyone today? Having breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, or dinner with anyone?

Give the person / the people you are with a treat! :) Doesn’t matter if they reject (out of courtesy)—just treat them anyway!

For the adventurous people, try footing the tab for the person after you or the person sitting at the table next to you.

If you’re not meeting anyone, you can still make the treat happen! Buy something for your housemate / family. Get lunch / dinner / tomorrow’s breakfast for them. Get the groceries! You guys are creative—I’m sure you will think of something! ;)

Share Your Results!

Who did you give a treat to today? What did you treat him/her/them to?

Check out the responses of other participants in the comments section!

After you are done, proceed to the final act of kindness: Day 14: Do Something Unexpectedly Nice For Someone.

Image: Tetra Pak

  • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

    I forgot to mention that today (Nov 13) is WORLD KINDNESS DAY!!! :D Happy World Kindness Day everyone!!!

    Oh, oh, and oh, we are on Lianhe Zaobao (联合早报) today!!! :D It is the main Chinese newspaper in Singapore and enjoys a very wide circulation/readership. Check out the picture on my Facebook page! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=385339874878283&set=a.131403463605260.35061.123270431085230&type=1

    For those of you who read Zaobao, you can find the article on page 13!

    • Daria

      Happy World Kindness Day to you too Celes and to everybody here :D
      And congrats on being in such a big newspaper … this will hopefully reach,attract and enrich the lives of more people :)

      • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

        Thanks Daria! That’s very sweet of you! :D

  • http://readinganalysis.com Clara

    Happy World Kindness Day Celes :) what if some one giving me a treat today?? should I reject it and then offer a treat from my side ;) to complete my kindness challenge?? :p

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Accept the treat, then treat him/her to something else! :D He/she can treat you for the meal and you can treat him/her to desserts or drinks after that. That would be really cool! :D

  • Elton

    I am treating my Deepavali friend (a long time lost friend) for a good cup of coffee, and good opportunity to catch up too

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      That’s so great Elton! The opportunity to catch up with a good friend and spread kindness to him/her at the same time. Life is good. :D

  • http://www.mindset-coaching.com Dolly Yeo

    A very Happy World Kindness Day to everyone here!

    Today happens that my buxom friends who are also angels :angel: in my life, organized a ‘Tim Sum’ lunch to celebrate 2 friends’ birthdays which fall in November.

    There were 8 of us. I am happy to have contributed to celebrate their special day. We call ourselves, the ‘Love Life Group’ :dance: Life is great! :D

  • hendro

    I treat my friend a drink :p Happy World Kindness Day everyone!!! :D

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      That’s so sweet of you. Happy World Kindness Day Hendro! :D Hope you had a wonderful celebration yesterday!

  • http://www.cheap-cell-phones-guide.com wanxuan

    In fact, my best friend had treated me to a nice lunch yesterday. :D Will treat her again when I come back to Singapore after my NZ trip.

    By the way, Happy World Kindness Day everyone! Just back from World Kindness Day event in Singapore. Also met Celes there and we decided to keep each other company for the event :D Thanks for the car decal and food sharing, Celes! I thought the fresh flower gift from Singapore Kindness Movement(SKM) was sweet though. I gave it to my mum. There was actually quite a lot of litter around (kinda ironic) after the event (left over bottles, half eaten raisin buns, flowers from free goodie bags) so I picked some up before I went.

    • http://www.cheap-cell-phones-guide.com wanxuan

      Oh yes, by the way I met a blogger (Qiu Ting or “Qiu Qiu” in her blog) during the World Kindness Day event and gave her a red carnation :D She was really surprised and happy and said “Everyone would be jealous she has two flowers” and that I was a kind (blog) reader :)

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Hey Wanxuan, it was so amazing meeting you just now!! :D After we parted ways, I met the SKM team. I will be meeting them early next week for further discussion (as I told you on Twitter).

      And guess what-I actually got recognized by other readers after that, while at the event! It was crazy! I was even amazed how they even found me in the crowd! The more amazing thing was that one of them had set the intention to meet me (I didn’t even really announce to anyone that I would be at the event today so that was the other amazing fact) and we eventually did. I found the whole encounter very serendipitous and somewhat surreal.

      • Bob

        Happy Kindness Day!

        Sounds like you both had a great time Wanxuan and Celes, out of curiosity what did you do at the Singapore Kindness Event?

        • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

          Hey Bob, it was mainly a sing, dance, and humor performance which lasted about 1hour 45 minutes. I gave it a brief mention with photos in the Day 14 post!

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      I actually want to take this chance to give Wanxuan a shout out.

      After the World Kindness Day event, Wanxuan actually impressed me to bits when she said she was going to stay back and pick some litter before going home. As I wasn’t in litter-picking outfit *again* and I needed to scoot over to meet the SKM (Singapore Kindness Movement) team to discuss about the 14-Day Kindness Challenge at PE, so I took my leave first and didn’t join her in the litter-picking.

      What was impressive was that (a) it wasn’t a litter-picking day (b) she didn’t have to pick litter at all. No one was giving out any reward nor asking others for help to pick litter (there was a whole crew of volunteers for SKM who were ready to clean up the trash after the event). Wanxuan simply volunteered to pick litter of her own accord, out of the goodness of her heart.

      Wanxuan is an exemplar of how you can make kindness happen if you want to. You don’t need any special circumstance, any special time allotted, or money (if at all). I’m so impressed by WX and so proud to have her as a reader of PE. Wanxuan, this is for you. :hug: :bow: :bow:

      • wanxuan

        Aww… I think Celes’ Kindness Challenge is building a momentum in me… :D acts of kindness feel like habitual thing to me now :D

        • Michael

          How great is it to hear that?! Congrats and keep it up wanxuan! I plan to keep doing some of the kindness challenge acts too! =)

          • wanxuan

            Thank you Michael for your very kind words! :)

  • Robin

    Treated a friend at work to coffee today. Not sure if it counts, because I didn’t do it for the challenge. She bought me coffee last week when I didn’t have any money on me.

    • Daria

      Well as I understand it, the challenge is about integrating kindness into our lives, and you’re on the right track Robin :) Your friend is too !

  • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

    Treated my friend yesterday to branch, and treated an unexpected person today to dinner. :D Like Wanxuan said, I met her today at a World Kindness Event!! It was totally serendipitous and she was so sharp to have seen me in the crowd. I was actually identified by ANOTHER reader AFTER the event, which was crazy!!! I really think there’s some serious law of attraction mojo at work.

    To those of you reading this comment, love all of you guys!! :D

  • Ken

    Ok, this task was a mix of stuff for me. Last night I was in the garage because I had to catch this mouse that has been tearing up my garage dry wall.

    I finally caught the mouse but I didn’t know what to do with it. I put him in a container for the time being and called a pest control company. They just told me to put it in a bag and smash the bag on the ground or beat it. I know it’s just a mouse, but I just could not do it. I also think the mouse came in some boxes that my new bedroom furniture came in from California. So I really didn’t not want to release this thing in the wild because most likely it’s from California and did not want to introduce it to the local wild life.

    So the only thing I could think of was to put some rat poison into the container and by the morning he would be dead. But guess what, he was still alive…. So I called a animal hospital and asked them if they could humanly exterminate the mouse for me, and they sure just bring him by and they will take care of it.

    So for my treat, I decided to buy the animal hospital staff a box of doughnuts for having to take care of my mouse problem.

    I still felt a little bad about the mouse, but again if I knew he was something that was living here locally I won’t have hesitated to release him into the wild. But I can’t really ask Mickey mouse if he was from around here. So tried to exterminate him myself with the mouse poison, but that didn’t work. There is no way I could have done anything physical to kill the thing. I know I can do that with bugs, but that something different.

    Anyway the staff appreciated the doughnuts, and took care of my mouse. Sorry Mickey….

    • Daria

      It’s ok Ken, what you did was better for the mouse’s comfort than letting your cat deal with it for example. Although that would only be the circle of life.
      Anyway picking doughnuts as a treat was a good choice especially that the weather is getting chillier :)

      • Ken

        You know what’s funny, if my cat saw the mouse, I don’t think he would know what to do with it. He loves trying to fit himself into a box. So he might have let the mouse go so he could sit in the container I put the mouse in.

        They were not going to charge me to get rid of the mouse, and they said I didn’t have to bring in doughnuts. But they all said thank you for it.

  • JadePenguin

    Hehe, seems like I managed to do the task before knowing what it was. I made some aubergine pasta bake today and offered some to my housemates. One of them only took a little but they were both very grateful :)

  • Bob

    It felt good giving three treats to eat – some delightful cakes for my wife which she loves, my son received his favourite sweets and myself some nice fruit.

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      That’s nice of you to give your wife, your son, AND yourself some treats Bob. It sounded like a great family moment right there. :D

  • Elton

    Not sure if this can be considered, but I treat my first ex-boss (now in overseas at the moment) who helped me to expose my 1st business for recommendation in Linkedin, without him asking first (surprisingly he asked me for recommendation), and planning to meet up now after 2 years we didnt keep in touch.

    Law of attraction :)

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Law of attraction indeed! I’m having a fair bit of LoA happen to me lately too. Quite amazing when our intention and reality reach that convergence point. :D

  • http://onmymind.areavoices.com/ Qin Tang

    My teenager son had a club activity at school tonight. I was planning on baking some cookies for him to take to the event and share with other participants. I wanted to give not just someone, but several people a treat.

    But it didn’t work out that way.

    Nowadays, anything I do seems embarrassing to my teenagers. My son was not happy about my plan. He didn’t want to bring any cookies. He said maybe another day, but not today, at the first meeting.

    So I ended up just sharing my cookies with the friend we do carpooling together. I was a little disappointed, but at least I did give someone a treat.

    • Michael

      I really liked your plan! On the other hand, I can also imagine your son may not want share the cookies. Does it have anything to do with “not cool”? :D

      At least your intention is great and you shared with someone. :clap:

      • http://onmymind.areavoices.com/ Qin Tang

        Yes, you are right. If you do something that not everyone else is doing, then it’s not cool and embarrassing for my teenagers.

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Hey Qin Tang! Sorry to hear that your son didn’t want to bring the cookies you made. But it panned out as your friend got to enjoy those cookies—I’m sure he/she was/is grateful to your son for “rejecting” those cookies! Funny how things work out sometimes. :D

  • Bette

    Treats…

    I have been taking diatomaceous earth for health benefits and some friends commented on wanting to try some, could i give out the address, etc. where they could purchase some and try it. I filled some containers with the d.e., and labeled it with the website address.. That way they could try it out, and then have a place where they could get their own supply. :D

    I treated my friend to a couple treasures she really liked from the items in my garage sale. That was fun to do.

    Also, a couple of new friends saw a teapot and little cups I had in the garage sale and they were interested in purchasing them. I put them in a box and wrote, “A Gift for You…Just Because.” :heart:

    Sometimes I “treat” someone unexpectedly to an impromptu meal or snack, lovingly prepared by moi! I find that is fun for me, and food always is an opportunity to bring people together to exchange ideas, etc.

    There are SO many ways to “treat” someone. Here’s to discovering many clever and sincere ways in which to “treat” others on an ongoing basis. I love to flex my “kindness” muscle! :hug: :heart: :dance:

  • Michael

    I love this challenge! I wasn’t able to treat someone yesterday, but it reminded me of a PostSecret note where someone treated an unhappy old couple to a meal.

    What I will do is next time if I see someone dull / unhappy and if circumstance allow, I will ‘secretly’ take care of their bill to brighten them up.

    I’ll also look to treat someone something today.

    I love the kindness challenges! :D

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Michael, “secretly” taking care of someone else’s bill (who looks grumpy or down) is such a fantastic idea! I’ll keep in mind to do that next time too.

      It’ll be tricky to execute though. Has to be inside a restaurant (since that’s when bills get footed at the end). And the person would have to be alone to make it a more impactful encounter I feel (and most people don’t go to restaurants by themselves, usually. Bars yes, but not really restaurants).

      Gosh I hope the person doesn’t think I’m hitting on him/her when I do this next time. o_O Haha. But I think this is a very fun idea and I definitely look forward to doing this the next time. Thanks for the idea, Michael!

      • Michael

        Yeah it’s one of those where the opportunity needs a few things aligned. However I think it’s possible as long as we look out for it! :D

  • Netta

    This challenge worked out well for me because my best friend and I had plans to meet with another friend for the day to hang out. We mostly spent the day checking out some sites and beautiful scenery. When we stopped for lunch, I paid for all of ours even when I knew my best friend would object. So, I had to go ahead and pay for the meal before she realized it but it felt awesome to treat them to lunch and yesterday was a very blessed day.

  • Hetal_S

    I treated my friend with a lunch today :D

    We often give lunch treats to each other :)

  • Fufu

    I treated 7 of my friends to candy today. We were hanging out when I randomly count them and say “Give me a sec. I’m going to buy candy for you guys! :)” Funny thing was, that my plan #1 was a failure. Some minutes prior I had secretly gone to buy candy and my plan was to bring the candy already bought and give one for each as a surprise. I was unable to deal with the candy machine so I returned back, asked for company to help me and ended up spilling the plan of the surprise candy haha.

    Thanks to the experience I was able to see money -not with greedy eyes- but as a medium in which I can show kindness to others as well. It also made me conscious of how small things – such as treating others – no matter how big or small, are the things that make the world a better place. :)

    • Fufu

      By the way I’m going to donate shampoos and conditioners to an organization which was asking for donations at school and tomorrow I’m going to take some dog food to school to feed a dog that tends to spend time there :)

      • Claire R

        That is sweet. I like how you added one more-saw a need and filled it :dance:

      • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

        Aw that’s so sweet of you to extend your act of kindness to animals too Fufu. :hug: In a way it’s also giving the dog a treat—in line with Day 13′s task!

  • Daria

    For today’s task … treated my parents to some cake (deep chocolate & caramel) :)

  • Claire R

    I treated some friends to a late brunch out. My one friends said “big deal ” but I just smiled and said I am so
    glad to share as she always does with me. It hurt a bit but I just laughed and insisted and said how glad I was to be there with them. And yes, we had a wild and wonderful time of it.

    Through all these days I had found that I had to stretch beyond my comfort zone . I had to let go of shyness much to my surprise. I think way down deep I felt nobody would want contact with me.

    Much kindness to all of you.It all comes around. May we all learn to be a bit kinder with ourselves too. :hug:

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Kindness Challenge Day 12: Forgive Someone

This is Day 12 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge for Nov 2012 where hundreds of participants from around the world get...

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