This is Day 13 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge for Nov 2012 where hundreds of participants from around the world get together in spirit to do 14 acts of kindness over 14 days. The challenge is now over, but you can still do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all Kindness Challenge tasks and posts.
Hello everyone! Welcome to Day 13 of the 14-Day Kindness Challenge!
Only One More Day To Go!!
We have only ONE more day left before the Kindness Challenge comes to an end!! Have you completed all the twelve assigned tasks so far? Post your results in the comments section! You only have a few final days left to share your results and mingle with the participants, so do so now!
- Day 0: Get at least ONE Friend / Family Member to Join the Challenge! | 33 Comments
- Day 1: Give a Hug to Everyone You See! | 92 Comments
- Day 2: Give Up Your Seat To Someone | 49 Comments
- Day 3: Write 3 Thank-You Notes to 3 People You Appreciate | 52 Comments
- Day 4: Sign Up For Volunteer Work (On Top of Whatever You Have Been Doing) | 55 Comments
- Day 5: Give a Genuine Compliment to at Least 3 People | 39 Comments
- Day 6: Talk to Someone You Don’t Normally Talk To | 50 Comments
- Day 7: Make a Donation | 48 Comments
- Day 8: Pick Up Litter | 38 Comments
- Day 9: Write a Letter to Someone Who Has Made a Difference in Your Life | 36 Comments
- Day 10: Send Flowers to Someone | 25 Comments
- Day 11: Be Kind to Someone You Dislike | 15 Comments
- Day 12: Forgive Someone | 17 Comments
Day 10: Send Flowers to Someone
Finally accomplished my task for Day 10, on sending flowers to someone! Have updated my progress on Day 11′s post, complete with pictures. Refer to the section “My Day 10 Review: Send Flowers to Someone”.
My Day 12 Review: Forgiveness
Day 12′s task was to: Forgive Someone.
True to yesterday’s task, I wanted to forgive as many people as possible. I thought about all the people whom I still bore resentment on some level, be it subconsciously or consciously, be it from the littlest of incidents or the biggest of conflicts. People whom I had still not forgiven whether because I never had the chance to process the grievance or because the grievance was too deep for me to work through in the past.
So I listed as many names as I could and worked through my past grievances for these people yesterday.
By way of this review section, I’d like to use this space to “declare” (see it more as a self-declaration) that I have forgiven the following people in my life:
- That business acquaintance who befriended me as a pretext to get my business contacts a couple of years ago. I have forgiven you for jarring my natural trust and faith in others. May you understand the meaning of true friendship with no agendas attached. I give you the benefit of the doubt that you were unconscious about using people for business purposes, that you were merely overzealous in your business agenda, and that there is some good in you as a person.
- That acquaintance who made heaps of empty promises and did not live up to his words. I have forgiven you for your lack of authenticity and poor social etiquette. May you one day understand the importance of staying true to words and commitments.
- That friend from my past who took to flaming me on my blog under a pseudonym (years back) and made harsh, debilitating statements about me. I have no idea why you did what you did and I guess I no longer care. I’m sorry that you have to carry so much hate in you and I hope you can release them from your consciousness in due time. I have forgiven you for the hurt you have caused me and I hope you have since moved to a better place.
- That friend who lost her temper at me (the same person I talked about in part 2 of the anger series) and turned into a black, nasty soul in the last few minutes of our friendship. I’m sorry our friendship had to end that way. I have already apologized for the grievance which I had caused you, and if you chose to hold on to your anger, I can only feel sorry for you for choosing to carry the hate. I forgive you for the sadness you had caused me and I hope you will one day move to a better place.
- That friend who had, on multiple occasions, made me sad and triggered deep episodes of self-doubt. I have forgiven you for the sadness you have caused me. I now recognize that there was simply nothing I could have done to make things turn out differently. I hope you will find the salvation that you need one day but I have finally acknowledged (in my heart, to myself) that I’m not the person to do that for you.
- The friend who was discouraging to me when I was sharing with her my problems. I trust that you were not being malicious in your intentions and you were merely acting as you would to any good friend within that context. I thank you for your friendship and I forgive you for the doubts and sadness you had caused me at that point in time.
I feel so much lighter now. When you release your past grievances, the person you are truly salvaging is yourself. For those of you who have not posted your update for Day 12 or who have not done Day 12′s task, hop on to the comments section and use it as the forum to process your grieve and unhappiness with others. At the end of it, make the conscious decision to let your grieve go and forgive them.
Now, let’s move on to Day 13′s task, shall we?
Day 13: A Treat
Isn’t it nice when you get a treat from someone? Be it when a friend foots for your bill, when your tab gets mysteriously paid for, or when someone buys you a meal out of the blue?
For one reason or another, I often get treated by others. When I was traveling in Europe and United States last year, the friends I made there and the people who hosted me would graciously treat me time and again. Even in Singapore, I often get treats from others out of the blue.
I never expect any of those people to treat me, but they do anyway. (While we’re on the topic of treats, I actually don’t expect guys to treat me on dates either, because I think it’s not fair to expect the other party to pay just because he is a guy.) Whenever someone offers to foot the bill for me, I’m always pleasantly surprised. I just feel I’m so blessed and lucky to be surrounded by such gracious and generous individuals.
Because I often get treats, I know how good it feels to receive a treat. While I’ve been brought up with the notion of going dutch, I realized that giving others treats is quite a wonderful feeling. Not just for the recipient, but for yourself as the person giving you the treat. I’ve adopted the practice of giving others treats since my world trip and I say it has made me a more generous person. It has made me less definitive on boundaries between me and others and instead embrace the oneness ideology (not just emotionally or mentally, but now fiscally as well).
So, your task today is to give someone a treat!
Your Task: Give Someone a Treat
Meeting anyone today? Having breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, or dinner with anyone?
Give the person / the people you are with a treat! Doesn’t matter if they reject (out of courtesy)—just treat them anyway!
For the adventurous people, try footing the tab for the person after you or the person sitting at the table next to you.
If you’re not meeting anyone, you can still make the treat happen! Buy something for your housemate / family. Get lunch / dinner / tomorrow’s breakfast for them. Get the groceries! You guys are creative—I’m sure you will think of something!
Share Your Results!
Who did you give a treat to today? What did you treat him/her/them to?
Check out the responses of other participants in the comments section!
After you are done, proceed to the final act of kindness: Day 14: Do Something Unexpectedly Nice For Someone.
Image: Tetra Pak