This is question #11 of the Year End Countdown Challenge held in Dec 2012, where we count down to the new year with 13 reflective questions. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Welcome to Day 3 of the 2013 Countdown Challenge! :D
2013 Countdown, Question #11…
The questions for the 13-day, 13-question countdown so far:
- #13: How has your year of 2012 been? | 143 Comments | Post Your Response
- #12: What are 12 things you love about year 2012? | 84 Comments | Post Your Response
Today’s question, question #11, is:
What were your lowest points this year? Why?
Your Task
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers.
Look forward to reading your answers! :)
(After you are done, proceed to #10: What lessons have you learned from those low points?)
(Images: Field, Gloomy person)
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My lowest point in 2012 was placing myself in dangerous situations like walking outside at 3 in the morning by myself or overdosing on medicine that was prescribed to me because I was sick. After looking back on the situation I believe I was subconsciously trying to hurt myself because for some reason I felt like I was invincible and putting myself in dangerous situations presented me with a challenge. Still ’til this day I have trouble understanding why I OD on meds. It became so easy to pop pills and swallow anytime, anywhere and before I knew it I took 10,600 mg in 3 days and ended up in the hospital two days later because I didn’t have feeling in my arm. Even though I should of gone earlier but I was scared to tell my mom I OD on meds. When I did tell her though she flipped because 1. I went to the ER by myself and she is an RN 2. I lied and told her I misinterpreted the instructions the doctor gave me when truthfully I ignored them. Even though I have history of pass suicidal thoughts and actions I wasn’t trying to kill myself … I don’t know what I was trying to do to myself.
Its three years since we have been together. And during this time I have loved him more than anyone else in my entire life, even more than my own self. This year has been really turbulent, with break-ups and then patching, and break-ups & patching. What made it really worse was that in his anger he tried to kill me thrice at one time, burned my hand, and threatened to make my life a living hell where I would wish for death every second. I had borne his emotional abuses and him hitting me before. But I didn’t know where to fit this behavior of his. I still love him even though he is now leaving. And I am left being at my lowest in the entire year because of the horrible person he says I am. My resolve has been broken; I gave up my self-respect, dreams, hope, preferences for the relationship. I don’t know if I can ever find the courage to even promise myself something and follow-through. I have started smoking (knowing it well that it will do more harm than benefit) imagining the pain disappear in smoke. As the year comes to an end; so am I.
St. Louis, MO 10:02 PM
12/21/12
Welcome to the age of Aquarius!!!
My lowest points this year? Hhhhmmmm….
Well, thinking about this one, at one point I was thinking, “None! It was a pretty good year!”
However, now that I’ve reflected on this question I would say that my lowest points this year where any times where I gave away my power by thinking that I lacked any or some control of a particular situation.
Basically goes along the lines of not remembering that the only person I have any control over is myself. At times, I let external circumstances get the best of me, and bring me down.
Once I remembered that I am responsible for myself and how I react to people and things around me, that’s when things would start to turn in my favor.
Thanks for reading!
Maximilianah
In early October I broke up my ex boyfriend – whom I thought was “The One”. That was destructive for me because once again in my life, something I believed in so so much was shattered. We also broke up the day I moved out alone – and being 19 and still at University it was difficult to juggle so much all at once. I was stressed about bills (where I live, it’s ridiculous), and how I was to manage time since exams were approaching (mid November).
I also felt as if I lost my rock, my ex was someone who I looked up to (tremendously) and adored and relied on for advice. Without him, I wasn’t sure what sort of person I would become.
A month after our breakup, I was let off from my job (I work 3 jobs so it wasn’t TOO heartbreaking).
This was also THE WEEK of my exams. It was terrible. I was so stressed about finances, work, still
recuperating from my break up AND stressed about exams.
That would be my lowest point this year. That October-late November stage.
I haven’t had anything I would consider a low point. I have recognized a couple places in my life where I need to improve and I feel I have have made real strives to work on them. Those two issues actually turn out to be more closely related then I realized. These are my marriage and our finances. We had a lot of debt we were just not able to get paid down and were living paycheck to paycheck, despite a decent income. A common problem. We went to see a financial advisor and put together a plan to work together to get our finances together. By doing this I feel we are now more partners and closer then we have been for a long time.
Hi Deanna,
Your comments about marriage and finances are what I’ve been learning in the Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace University classes that I have been taking to get a handle on my finances.
Best wishes for you in 2013 as you pursue your goals!
Happy holidays!
Maximilianah
The lowest points of this year is losing a close family member and the feeling that I have no control over my life.
I guess I can cut and paste from my reply to question #1 for this question.
My lowest point: After having made peace that having a baby might not happen at my age (46), I found out I was pregnant for the first time Easter weekend. Sadly, I miscarried the day before my 12 week ultrasound. Not knowing if this will happen again but having felt so close to the possibility is truly difficult with holiday gatherings coming up – nieces & nephews all under 3 yrs old.
Then last month my company had a layoff and I got caught in the rif.
I was just reading through many of the other replies and I realized how many of you had to go through terrible ordeals, and emerged stronger, wiser people! God bless you with the strength to cope up and to move forward. Hope that 2013 is the healing year for us all!
At the same time I feel so blessed to have a platform where we can pour out our hearts and find soothing words of sympathy and encouragement, where wonderful people console instead of passing judgement. Thank you guys! :dance: Honestly, I feel bonded to many others even though I haven’t even met you guys! :clap:
As for my lowest point in 2012- a bad showdown with a close relative, a day before my bday (only those we love can truly hurt us!) I had come to a point where I could no longer take the constant put-downs, the vitreous, soul-burning words hurled at me. I am a strong, independent person yet he had reduced me to a doormat just to maintain the relationship. I was petrified that I’d lose the relationship but I had to stand up for myself. It was a horrible fight, but I managed to maintain my stand (if not my cool throughout). It took a few days but happily things did become better. I learnt more of the reasons behind his anger and some of my own mistakes (i have to confess- i was being selfish in my own ways!) and we are much better friends than we ever were.
Some of my lowest points this year stemmed from loneliness and self-doubt. Most of these aren’t isolated incidents, but just my modes of thinking which seem to repeatedly manifest. I suppose in terms of “low points” in my life, I’ve been incredibly lucky in that most of these are self-contained and I haven’t suffered much externally (and, thankfully, those around me have stayed safe), but this is what I can think of in terms of my lows of 2012:
At one point, I felt like I was a disappointment to myself and to everyone around me. I didn’t feel like I was worth anything to anyone, like I had nothing to offer that couldn’t be obtained from somewhere or someone else. I felt like it was too late for me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I had no motivation; as desperately as I wanted to do something, anything, I just didn’t have the desire to get up and actually take action.
I also felt extremely lost just in terms of who I was. I felt like I wasn’t much of anyone, that I only existed based on who I was to other people. And since I felt like I offered little worth to other people, I became increasingly depressed. When a close friend of mine became distant to deal with his own troubles, I felt entirely lost. I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could trust, and the loneliness almost physically hurt at times. I felt entirely worthless.
Any time someone is disappointed in me, it hurts a lot. I place a lot of value on other’s thoughts and opinions of me. Even small misunderstandings that people don’t think twice about will get me thinking that they consider me an idiot, and I’ll often beat myself up about it.
I also hate when I feel like I can’t help someone. All I want to do is to help people feel better, feel safe, feel loved, and if there’s nothing I can do I start to feel worthless. Even when I make sure to make it known I’m there for them, I often feel useless because I’m not actively helping them out.
In social situations, I tend to panic. I worry I’m not thinking quick enough on my feet, and if I get nervous about something I can never think of something to say and result to silence or just stammering. Or even worse, sometimes I say something just to say something and it won’t be what I really think or even that intelligent of a thing to say. Social interaction, both with people I really look up to and with strangers, is an awkward thing for me and I often worry extensively over it.
Relationships have caused hurt for me as well. I’ve loved intensely, lost, moved on, only to find more hurt. It seems I lack something, as there is always that excuse of, “You’re a great girl, but…” or “I wish I could, but I can’t.” I always feel as if I’m not being my true self, my best self, that if only I had been more confident or less afraid or had listened to my heart or my head that things would’ve went differently. In each failed relationship, I blame myself. I have these unrequited feelings that I wish, just once, I had the chance to show without fear. I’m afraid that I’m just doomed to love those who are too high above me to love me back, that I’m not worth those that I love. It just really hurts to know you have feelings for someone amazing and knowing they will never see you that way, that maybe no one you fall for will see you that way.
Last, I have some intense fears. I fear never being able to help those I love. I fear that I won’t be able to support myself monetarily, that I’ve made too many mistakes in terms of my education and that I won’t be able to find a job and make a living. I fear things like driving or working in certain environments. I fear that some of my worst traits are things I cannot resolve no matter how deeply I look into them.
Like I said, few of these are isolated incidents, but most of these have caused at least one major breakdown for me this year. Many of these are patterns I’m working to break out of, but man, have they caused me some hurt.
Hi Alexa…
don’t ever doubt yourself or put yourself down- no matter how much the world tries to change your mind! everyone is unique and special.
as for people- over the years i’ve learnt that people in general take us at our own evaluations. so stop bothering so much about other people’s opinion and make the world will run after your “approval” ;)
I went to a workshop where “community” was supposed to be a big part of the event, and didn’t feel like part of the community.
A friend died; her daughter is my best friend and she is still grieving, ten months later. It hurts to see.
My son’s wife left him at the end of February and he moved home for a few months. He is mentally ill and has been hearing voices for most of the year, has felt suicidal many times, and is currently in a residential facility that could lose its funding in all the budget madness.
My husband was hospitalized four times this year and nearly died in November. He spent about half the year in a wheelchair because of problems with his feet. He has also had several severe infections and has been in the emergency room innumerable times.
I have had problems sleeping for most of my life and this year was no exception; it made coping with every thing that happened even more challenging that it would have been anyway.
There has been a confused ongoing financial situation that I took over from my husband and have made little progress in addressing.
I have had a lot of pain — there’s a bony ridge along the cervical vertebrae that causes a lot of trouble with my neck and shoulders — I have a bulging disk and am developing sciatica — severe osteoarthritis in my feet and hands. And allergies. Some days I feel like I’m allergic to breathing.
Despite these difficulties, I continue to be aware of how much I have in my life that is good and positive. My husband and son are both alive. I have friends. I have work that I enjoy. Pain meds help a lot. I am still able to do a lot of things that I want to do. And much more.
1. When i lost my grandmother back in January.I was and still am very close to her in spirit and soul.
2. The time i found out I was unexpectedly pregnant, I was trying to work towards my future and then this happened.
3.The many times that M (my other half) has ignored me and not even bothered to reply when i’m talking.
4.The may arguments and fights M and me have had which have led me to almost want to leave despite having a wonderful daughter with him.
5. the dissatisfaction that has come with not working and having no career satisfaction, despite excellent education. I did not wish to put my daughter in a daycare and see her very little while I slogged away at work, so in a way it was self imposed.
sorry for your loss- i am close to my grandma, and i cant even bear thinking of losing her, despite the many happy years we’ve spent together.
you said you cant work- have you tried volunteering somewhere, esp public libraries? they have excellent facilities for kids, so you could possibly take your kid along?
perhaps you and your friends could form an informal babysitters club (since you are not allowed to work) – that way each of you could get one day a week off to do something- volunteer/ blog/ gym/ shop/ meditate at the YMCA. don’t lose hope- if you really want something, there’s always a way-sometimes ways you knew not existed.
My year was very calm and not terrible at all, but of course I had my dark hours and days as well. I have to point out 2 different situations, one is now completely forgotten, the other is not.
1. In May, I made a very stupid and embarrassing mistake during my practical training. I read about it at home and was very scared to go back to work after the weekend. Those days between reading about my mistake and actually being able to speak to my co-workers were quite horrible for me. I’m kind of a perfectionist and I don’t like my mistakes being discovered and I did hate the (imagined) dissapproval and dissappointment in their eyes. Luckily, it wasn’t that bad in the end and they didn’t lose trust in me.
2. This made the bigger impact. In September I overheard a argument between my parents. My father feared that my mother would betray him with another man. I don’t think that this is true and they’re still together and everythings better (I actually believe they settled things and he is okay with it), but during this period I learned some horrible horrible things about my fathers childhood and how he became the man he is today… My father has some anger issues, he cannot really show emotions and his self-esteem is very low.
My father is adopted (I’ve known this for a very long time now) and my parents told me this year, that his stepfather got drunk every other night and he always beat up my father – and only him, not my uncle. His stepmother (my grandmother) is still alive, a very cold woman who prefers her other son and not my father.
This weeks were quite terrible for me. First my father in this difficult submissive position (during his fear) and after that the things I learned. I still think about them every now and then but I can handle it now. I just fear that my father will nevery be truly happy. Sadly.
Dealing with the weight gain from pregnancy. Not having my mother around for the birth of my 3rd child. Felt like she should be there like with my last two. The difficult pregnancy.
The lowest points of 2012 were mostly family related due to differences in religion and politics. I am extremely liberal, which makes me the black sheep, so for several months out of this past year, my sister wasn’t talking to me and my parents were ashamed of me. We have since mended our relationships, but I learned a valuable lesson — I’m not free to voice my opinion in certain areas of my life, and while this is frustrating, knowing the “rules” is helping me keep the peace — and sometimes this is more valuable than the alternative.
Other low points included financial difficulty, to the point that for a while we weren’t even sure where we were going to live, putting us on the bare edge of homelessness. We still haven’t fully recovered, but I think we’re on the incline rather than rolling fast downhill. For the nonce, we are under a roof, we have food in our larder, and we have a Christmas tree under which will magically appear some gifts from Santa.
A personal low point occurred when Depression struck me down for a couple weeks. It’s something I struggle with regularly. While this bout was not surprising, it is always difficult — not just for me, but for my hubz and children as well. Fortunately I didn’t stay in that slump for long, and was able to bounce back better than before I fell. I always manage to learn something more about myself when I go through this cycle, so although I don’t look forward to the next onset, I comfort myself with the knowledge that some small good will come of it afterward.
The worst part of the year — and unfortunately a continuing saga — is the court drama over shared custody of my daughter with my ex. My hubz and I have been very open about wanting to work WITH my ex and his wife, but our attempts have all been coldly brushed aside. My ex specifically told me that he doesn’t understand why we should need to work together at all, and that we should just raise our daughter entirely separate with no need for joint parenting on issues. My poor daughter is thus rendered very confused as she is tossed back and forth between two very different households. It’s obviously been very frustrating for us, but for her most of all. She is eight — just old enough to understand that something isn’t right, but not old enough yet to understand what it is, or how to fix it. I ache for her.
I had to try really hard to come up with these three low points. I guess it really hasn’t been all too bad this past year!
1) In January when I saw my then friend with benefits(now girlfriend) talking happily with her then boyfriend.
2) In February when I allowed my friend with benefits dirty my pride and treat me like shit..and yet I still gave her what she wanted. It was one of the lowest points of my life when I disrespected myself and was friends with benefits with a girl that already had a boyfriend but she looked for me first..and I needed love at the time..so even if I was just her tool..I let her do as she pleased…the ends of February marked the most painful month of the year. I think the events that most hurt me was when she french kissed him with the cupcake I made and in one she rejected my kiss to make out with him.
3) The ends of April when she was stable with her boyfriend and I thought she would leave me as her friend with benefits. To my surprise she left him and choose me instead.
4) When she told me I was but only a ‘friends with benefits’ even after leaving him.
5) The last time I saw her. We didn’t use that chance to be physically romantic one last time..and the day prior to that in which I started crying and thinking I didn’t matter to her anymore because she hadn’t replied. Then I got insecure and said sorry a million times.
6) When my now girlfriend congratulated me in private on my birthday and my best friend did not congratulate me at all. (Actually she did but her mail didn’t arrive but she never bothered to resend it for me)
7) The day my girlfriend moved to USA. It felt like a part of my world had ended.
8) Those 4 dark moments in which I almost cheated on my girlfriend and she decided not to join me in the kindness challenge. Maybe one of the darkest moments was when — having a girlfriend– I allowed a guy to touch my bre**s. Even if the first time it was against my will..I could had easily evaded it if I truly wanted. I lacked proper respect for myself. Such dirty hands touched me. I can’t stand it.
9) When my mother told me she’d take my laptop away as punishment for me telling something to my dad. I felt like the world had ended because it felt like if I’d be ripped apart my new reason to live– my blog and not just that occasion. I’m talking about all those occasions something happened with my mom which she made me feel like nothing was worth it. Like I should just die.
10) When I had the worst nightmare in my life and I depended all that fear on my older brother but in silence he waved his hand for me to leave. He did not care about me or my feelings in on of the most terrifying moments in my life. I literally woke up from that dream crying. Some days/weeks later that dream came true in real life.
11) When mom took my cross away after the spiritual retreat.
12) All those times I felt like school was not worth it. In especially the day before thanksgiving at school. JO said he hated me, I couldn’t run in the chicken race because I had no permission (It had been a dream of mine to run in it before I graduated). My companion at school kept being a total ass and treating me like a moron who didn’t knew how to cook.
If I think about it well– my lowest points were every day events. Mostly related with my girlfriend, my family, my classmates and my motivation in life. Nothing otherworldly or life and death so even so I am grateful for this year.
In October I stayed with my 84-year old Dad while my sisters took my Mom to New York City for the weekend. Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 4 years ago. The disease has progressed slowly the last few years but we have all noticed his failing short-term memory and how he shys away from conversations with large groups of people. He is more of an observer than a participant or contributor to conversations. However, he is happy to have lived to 84 and has enjoyed watching his children and grandchildren grow and mature. Best of all he loves the closeness we all share.
During that weekend in October it became clear to me how badly Dad’s short-term memory has become. One evening we had the same conversation 5 or 6 times. Each time he told the story as if it were the first time. But we laughed each time he told the story of growing up in his old neighborhood. The negative side to the weekend was seeing him get angry at me because he forgot that I went to the store to get him the newspaper. He thought I had just taken off without telling him. It’s hard to watch the disease take its toll and the impact on my Mom and their relationship.
It’s hard not to think about how 2013 will be for him and our family…things will not get any easier. But I try to focus on the fact that he is happy with his life and where the 84 years has brought him.
My lowest point this year goes back to the summary of 2012 question. It was basically when I let that fortune teller go so far and convince me of such ridiculous things, all the while knowing it was all a very big lie. It was upsetting to see how everyone would just permit him to destroy my peace of mind. I was having an inner battle for most of the whole year, all the while working at the family business, all the while trying to go to school, etc. I’m just grateful it didn’t go beyond what it had. 2013 will be a year to recuperate and find my inner peace once again. I’m so looking forward to it. :dance:
I did not have a lot of low moments during 2012, which is not common for me. I think the lowest point was when I could not find homes for my cats. I felt horrible. They are placed now, but it was more than a year before they had homes. I could not bring them to the room that I was able to rent after losing my home in 2011, and they were not allowed in the house at my sisters, even on the coldest days. I sort of felt like I had failed them.
Sometimes I feel lonely, but I do not feel confident in my ability to bring someone else into my life when I am still learning about who I am and what I want.
Sorry for the duplicate… I can’t seem to delete it….
I dealt with depression all year which is an energy drain causing a lack excitement for life.
Giving up and letting go of a job/career I’m good at, felt like failure and unable to cope with boss’ idiosyncrasies.
I had pneumonia most of the summer so I missed a lot of the outdoor activities I usually enjoy.
I gained 20lbs. partly from being sick and largely because of depression.
Overall, I just feel like I missed a lot of 2012. I spent a lot of time in bed, either being sick or just not being in the world.
I hope 2013 finds you in a better place.
I dealt with depression all year which is an energy drain causing a lack excitement for life.
Giving up and letting go of a job/career I’m good at, felt like failure and unable to cope with boss’ idiosyncrasies.
I had pneumonia most of the summer so I missed a lot of the outdoor activities I usually enjoy.
I gained 20lbs. partly from being sick and largely because of depression.
Since I spent a lot of time in bed, and didn’t make time to be social, friends drifted away.
Overall, I just feel like I missed a lot of 2012. I spent a lot of time in bed, either being sick or just not being in the world.
The 2 lows of 2012 for me were –
1. Finding myself completely alone and helpless after i got out of my previous relationship since I had spent so much time with 2 ppl only and their absence created a void which I was unable to fill….most of my evenings ended up with me crying over the same thing since my ex had cheated on me with my best friend and looking at them regularly would invoke feelings of hatred , distrust and I would surround myself with negativity.
However once I accepted the face that things do happen for good and i realised it was just a trigger indicating me to get out of the relationship and then i started looking at the positive side of things…but for around 2 to 3 months life literally was like hell.
2. I always like being in control of my thoughts and to know my plans and goals as well as having a clear picture of what Im going to do…This year I learnt that Im not happy in what im currently pursuing , my interests definitely lies elsewhere n i dont have a proper plan for the future apart from knowing for a fact that the profession that I have taken up isnt fit for me…This has left me dazed , depressed , confused and not in a position to assess as to what my future course of action would be.
However I’ve decided to take it in my stride and have listed out things that I can pursue and how to go about them additionally now Im in a happier place since after my last relationship i’ve found someone who is absolutely perfect :heart: and it was almost like fate brought us together as I was looking out for other alternatives to keep me happy since my work wasn’t getting me any happiness! If not for the earlier heartbreak I wouldnt have found my amazing guy!!! :dance:
Overall the negatives did have their silver lining!! :D
Hardly any low point in 2012…was a wonderful, wonderful year by any stretch. The only low point being that I couldn’t stick to one of my resolutions due to internal lack of discipline. I know its not much considering what other people went through during the year, but that’s about it. Grateful to god that everything went well – career, love, relationships, family, health.
Around July. I broke up with my rebound guy – or rather, he disappeared without trace, without responding to any of my messages, and moved in with another person! – and I was officially dealing with being single for the first time in 3.5 years. Add in my mother being ill and me living abroad and far away (she is thankfully okay now), and sudden financial issues when my bank changed its policies on my account, and it was a difficult time.
But I faced it head on. I managed to go home for a short time and visit my mother, it kickstarted me into paying off my debts (and I’ve paid off over a huge amount of it now, only a small amount left to go) and dealt with being single. It took a while, but I’m thankful in a sense it happened (aside from my mother being ill, which I didn’t wish happened!) and I’m finally feeling comfortable in who I am, minus a partner!
Whilst it was a low point, it paved way for much better things.
My low point is that I don’t understand myself, I don’t know what I’m going to do in 1 year, 3 years and 5 years ahead. I felt lost.
Many moments I felt lost in works, I felt that I’m not doing my parts and yet boss says I’m fine. I’ve create a few “big” issue and yet everyone thought that I’m great. I’ve not put in full effort in work taking break often and yet people think that I’m very hard working. How does this work.
There are other moments that I felt low, when my wife complain that I’m not doing my part as a husband and father. It really hurts.
When I was overseas without my family. It wasn’t a good thing as I love them very much and too family-oriented.
Realising that my secondary school CCA isn’t doing as well. Being much attached to this CCA group, one just do not feel good when it is not doing well. It brings upon you with sadness that you didn’t help the juniors much.
At the point when you totally can’t be bothered with anything, especially academics. You know you should not just don’t care but yet, there just seem no reason to carry on.
When relationships around me were hurt because of money problems. How can one actually let a relationship go to waste just because of money?
When people just refuse to believe you even when you are right.
Upon knowing some my favorite subject’s grades were a disappointment.
When you thought you wasted a whole year of your life.
Academic life can be a little unmotivating, because everyone is made to learn the same things (or if it’s a PhD, your supervisor decides what you do) and you don’t have full choice. There’s always reason to carry on though – think of why you started that degree in the first place :)
People do have a funny way of insisting they are right even when they’ve realised they aren’t. Admitting one’s faults doesn’t come easy!
I agree with you. :) Always go back to the reason why I chose to study this.
Yeap, but it’s quite annoying at times. Especially when they are eventually misleading others and still think they are all smart. :(
i made so many efforts to get back with my ex, but even after killing my own ego trying to convince him over and over again, i still could not re-ignite love in him despite of all the past special moments we had shared, it was heartbreaking
evertime i was angry i used to binge on food, isolate myself temporarily
we lost my sisters father in law, he was family and will always be missed
my dad had difficulties at his workplace that affected him mentally and physically
my sister had family problems in her married life
i agreed to be pals with guys with ill intentions :( :(
It is sad when you have so many shared happy memories and suddenly it seems they mean nothing to the other person…But sadly, relationships do change as the two get to know each other and perhaps realise they were expecting something different. In which case, there may be no way to fix things.
However, since you said “killing my own ego” – maybe you are putting others before you and neglecting yourself in the process? I know I’ve done that before, with disastrous results. I do not know you so I may be wrong. But being self-confident is a big part of being attractive!
It might be a good idea to take some time out and try to be happy on your own. I have had a case of getting back together with an ex, after we hadn’t spoken for months. Before that, I spent 1.5 months (!!) trying to convince him, which only made him angry.
I’m not sure if I’m a little over-optimistic, but I can’t really remember having a low point this year. But if I had to choose, I would say that my low points were every time I was reminded that I haven’t been able to conceive after 6 years of marriage.
It has been particularly difficult dealing with well-meaning family members who ask my husband and I when we are going to have children. It hurts to know that some actually think we do not want kids.
Adding to the stress is having cousins who got pregnant within a year or two of getting married.
It’s hard to not let this affect me but I try my best to be positive. We are both getting help for this and we pray that 2013 will be our lucky year :)
Hi Suzie! Have you considered adoption? It sounds like you really want a child to love with all your heart, and a child without parents would surely need it. If not, maybe working with children?
Hope something works out for you!
My job satisfaction is really going down year by year.. its already 7 years in a job I hate, and working with bosses of ridiculously inhumane character. Cannot blame them as well since the company culture demands that from them. Day in and day out the very thought of going to office and to do the job im doing is nausiating. 2012 was the year I set the target of job change, but miserably failed in that.. not that i didnt try.. did attend couple of interviws, but could not get thru… confidence levels have now hit bottom and im afraid of going Into a loop and being stuck there for life..
Tried to start some online biz but realised its not that easy as it seemed, the amount of failures I may have to face and hard work ive to put in, is just not achievable with my current mindset and while holding on to my current job…Still I’ll keep trying and who knows, 2013 may be the destined year… so its already a priority goal in my 2013 list..
Ouch! that sounds like a very unfortunate job to be in, for so long. And changing jobs is quite difficult when unemployment levels are so high. I hope you won’t stop trying, though! A friend of mine worked 12 jobs he hated before he found one he was happy with.
Meanwhile, to make the most out of the bad situation, maybe try showing some kindness to your bosses? They must be really stressed by the company culture as well and would surely appreciate it. Responding with kindness would make you feel better as well, knowing that you can resist their meanness :)
Also, if you have any time free, you could work on skills that would be relevant to a job you want. Employers are mostly looking for experience and expertise.
Best of luck!
There was a rather terrifying moment where I went into shock because I thought something terrible had happened to someone I love. Suffice to say, nothing had happened, there was an unlucky chain of events leading up to me thinking that something had. But everything was okay. But I was physically in shock after that. Heart racing, shaking, crying, freezing… Don’t know if I’ve ever been so afraid in my life. Never been so afraid of losing someone.
Apart from that, which seems ridiculous in comparison, I had a big “hate my life” phase in the months leading up to my final Graphics Design Presentation in March… I was making little progress on my final project, mainly because I was procrastinating like hell and avoiding sitting my ass down and doing the work like the plague. I got a bladder infection for my troubles, (seems to frequently happen to me under stress) and started slipping back into bad eating habbits, and generally wasn’t doing well emotionally. Big thanks to my boyfriend for putting up for me in this time and keeping my spirits up.
Procrastination just isn’t worth it.
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