#2013Countdown, #10: [Cont’d from #11] What lessons have you learned from those low points?

This is the question #10 of the 13-Day #2013Countdown Challenge as we count down to the year of 2013 as one PE community. The challenge is now over, but you can still read more about it and participate in your own time. Visit the overview page for all 13 countdown questions.

2013 Countdown Challenge

Welcome to Day 10 of the 2013 Countdown Challenge! :D

2013 Countdown, Question #10…

The questions for the 13-day, 13-question countdown so far:

If you have not posted your responses yet, please do so before proceeding with today’s question.

Today’s question, question #10, is:

[Cont’d from #11] What lessons have you learned from those low points?


Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your self-reflection “room”.

(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)

[Cont’d from #11] What lessons have you learned from those low points?

Your Task

  1. Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
  2. Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
  3. Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers.

Look forward to reading your answers! :)

(After you are done, proceed to #9: What could you have done better this year? (Be honest with yourself))

Images: Field, Revelation

  • http://www.readinganalysis.com Clara

    I don’t know what should I have to learn from the loss of a loved one? It’s a big loss but I think now I am able to handle any situation after facing my parents death. Things around me do not matter any more. I become more spiritual and less materialistic. I begin focusing on small deeds that make some one happy even for a moment. I like to hold my other relations till my last moment and want to be a cause of pleasure for them

  • http://lifemosaique.wordpress.com/ Lina

    From the money issue, that no matter how rich or poor you are, a loving and caring family is worth more than anything else.

    From my grandma’s health condition, that we really are fragile creatures and we shouldn’t take neither life for granted, nor the people in it.

  • Ceridwen

    After my mistake at work I learned that I actually CAN make mistakes and no-one hates me. This is very difficult for me since I tend to perfectionismn and self-hatred when not being able to fulfill my expectation.

    I also learned this year to see my parents from a different angle. I know see them more as “real human beings with a story and difficulties” as ever before. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t see them as humans before, it’s just kind of a different viewpoint. More mature, more realistic, more complete, sad and full of sorrows.
    I see them as the source of my problems. Of my low self-esteem and my anger issues.

    I’m really happy to move out next year, but I still love them. Of course I do.

    • Bob

      Hi Ceridwen,

      I found that as I grew older my perspective changed about how I saw my parents, I saw their flaws but I also saw mine. Even if you find your parents are far from being ideal, this will give you a base from how to be as a person and then parent whether it is the exact opposite or a mix of some of their patterns of behaviour.

  • http://Personalexcellence Fazal

    1. I learnt that if you are not 100 % ready for a task which you want to do never start it but make your self ready for the task.

    2. Do not start a job a business if you are not sure about it be sure that what am i doing is realy good or not ? Is this compeny listed on stock exchange if not so is this compeny resposble for your investment ? Can you handle this by your own power without govt help

    3. Do not love if you are alon . Do love when you have time

    4. Search happeness and opertunity in you own resourse . Dont follow others because you are differend from him by age’ by excperiance’ by knowlge’ by power’ by family you have ‘ bla bla bla so how can you do the same thing . Let know your iner vioce and follow it because your heart know you better than any one.

    • jT

      Wow! I can closely relate to all the lessons you have listed :)

      • http://Personalexcellence Fazal

        I am very glad to see that you reply to my post and have the same thoughts which i have .

  • Bob

    1. There are always causes and effects, I must take more time to plan, approximately 66% of the time allocated for the task. If I take Lincoln example of “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
    Preparation is everything – taking the time to prepare thoughtfully saves time in the long run, because instead of doing things two or more times, I do them once thoroughly. The time spent in preparation is gained in execution. This must be a lesson I need to learn because I keep repeatedly wanting to finish something quickly without breaking it down step by step.

    2. Always ask and check that something has been completed. Make a note to check when I estimate or ask when a task should be completed. Whether is 1 week, 1 month or later and keep on until it is finished.

    3. Things are not always what they are supposed to be, if something is not working, then energy has to be directed until the correct move is completed. It is better to prepare maximum beforehand, to reduce time and energy dispersed.

    4. Kindness costs nothing.

    Interestingly, I learnt by writing out this exercise that I tend to miss out vital steps in a sequence, hence I have to bear the consequences. I sometimes do this in speech and writing as well. It is only when I break things down into baby steps that things flow seamlessly, especially with a solid plan and a good review.

    • KarmicIndian

      Preparation is an absolute necessity. I completely agree with you.

  • http://www.valeriepriester.com Valerie

    I learned that God will always get me through the low points and all that all things work for my good, Romans 8:28.

  • Divya

    I learnt that life is too Short. I need to plan and work on my education and career. I need to relax a little when it comes to my family and not get upset and angry so easily, have more patience.

  • derrick r

    I would say if anything I learned to actually accept other people for who they are. Not everyone is going to agree with you on everything you do in life. Sometimes they might not voice their opinions when things happen. Instead they might keep things inside until it boils over. This behavior is not healthy. Instead it is better to talk as a civilized adult about your feelings WHEN they are first hurt. It is better that people know when and why you are upset, but also best that you keep a level head when angry. Everyone is going to make mistakes in life, the trick is how and if you learn from them. And finally it is best sometimes to start over then to continue being miserable.

  • Kyoko

    From my break up with the guy I have loved the most and thought I would marry to losing my job to moving out alone and also to having exams (all in one go), I believe that lessons I have learned are:

    * Things change, life changes, people change – be open to those changes rather than having a fixed view of the future

    * Great things can fall apart so better things come together (based on a quote but I wholly believe this)

    * Being alone and fending for yourself can be difficult but it will teach you how to live

    * Be grateful that you have shelter and food

    * When it rains, it pours; but after the storm there will be sunshine and rainbows

    * It will get better


    • JadePenguin

      Love this! Looks like you have very well adapted to changes in your life :D

    • http://www.mindset-coaching.com Dolly Yeo

      Sounds like a self-empowerment journey with much success! Congrats! :clap:

  • Fraser

    That it is important to always keep the outcome at the forefront of your mind and thoughts. Every decision, ask ,myself, is this bringing me closer of further away from where I want to be?

  • JadePenguin

    Financial issues – that sometimes it’s best to find a job you dislike to secure your finances. It might be a waste of time but ultimately I’m not going to fulfil my purpose if I’m not alive or if I’m forced to live with people I don’t get along with.

    Lack of motivation over summer – that if I’m feeling low, I should quickly find something inspiring to do before I spiral further down and become unable to take any initiative to help myself.

    Breakup with my bf of 9 months – that I cannot depend on any one person for my social needs!!! That I’m capable of socialising with a wide range of people and having great conversations. That I can be confident and happy. Also that even the people who seem perfect at first might end up being completely different from what you wanted.

    Being led on and then rejected by someone I thought I shared a great connection with – again, that first impressions can be terribly wrong. I don’t think he’s a bad person (otherwise I wouldn’t feel anything for him anymore, so in a way this is the worst possible situation here, lol) but I’m guessing he doesn’t know himself well enough and isn’t very good at time-management, hence him never having time. Anyway, I’m not likely to trust my first judgement ever again. I fall in love too easily and then it just bothers me all the time. Always the thoughts of “isn’t there anything I could do to change the situation? Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough!”

    Letting go of that will be my challenge for next year, it seems…

    • KarmicIndian

      Agree with your. I have been more or less in similar issue this year.

    • Helen

      I know 2013 is going to be fab for you JadePenguin! Just keep on keeping on and everything will work out wonderfully :)

    • Kyoko

      I feel that I can see where you are coming from especially in terms of romance and relationships. Hang in there! :)

      I’ve found that looking within yourself and being happy with yourself – enjoy your own company, working on yourself etc really helps in the healing process. And also, look at it that you are one step closer to “the one” :)

  • http://howtolivethefreelancelife.wordpress.com Shannon L. Buck

    I guess the most important thing that I learned from my low points, is that it really is okay to be by yourself. That is important to work through your loneliness enough to realize that you don’t need someone else to complete you. Not that it wouldn’t be nice to find my person. But it is okay to be alone while learning about yourself.

    • JadePenguin

      So true! And once you learn to be okay by yourself, relationships will surely be much better as well :)

    • KarmicIndian

      Thanks for posting this. Have a great year ahead.

  • Suzie

    I hit a low point everytime I am reminded of the fact that my husband and I have fertility issues. But every difficult situation has some valueable lessons to offer.
    In my case, it has forced me to admit that I have a problem and I need help, which I am getting.
    It has taught me that relatives do mean well. Some just lack tact in addressing the issue around me compared to others.
    It definitely reminds me to exercise more tact with other people. My touchy subject is children, it could be money for others.

  • AvnvA

    Being there physically is not enough, the main thing is be there emotionally.
    Very often I am there with them but doing my own things, like surfing the net, clearing paperwork….

    On work wise, need to find the area that I would like to focus in long run, floating around for past few year don’t do me good. Lack drive in life.

  • http://non Sandra

    The lessons I learned from my low point is, its real and normal for any human to have urge, but the way you handle yours gives you better satisfaction or can negatively affects your life.

    Yes we all have urge, God gave us a self that must be control (Self-Control).
    If I can easily get myself satisfy, getting use to it, than there is possibility that my man can’t satisfy me. Is abnormal

  • Lottie

    Forget your perfect offering
    There is a crack in everything
    That is how the light gets in
    (by Leonard Cohen)

    You need the darkness to see the stars.

  • Ken

    1: For my work issue, I’m going to look at the positive of the survey and take advantage of the results. Since the survey is also part of my official records at work, the fact that three out of ten employees wrote me up to ethics, how could I get a 91% approval rate on my survey. If all three had an issue with me won’t my results be 70% or below? I also have the highest approval rate in my department.

    2: For my divorce, I know it’s over, and I now know what I should do for my next relationship. Again looking back at my relationship in the past, there were so many signs from the beginning which indicated there was a problem. I’m not going to let it happen again.

    3: As for my health, I have to do my best to keep up with my gym routine, eating right, and deal with the health issues as they come up. There is no reason to keep worrying about how the blood test results will be. I just need to concentrate on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. That’s the best thing I can do for my health.

  • Sejal

    I already answered this question while concluding the answer to the last question. Here’s me quoting me….

    ” In fact, instead of looking at it all as blocks, I thought of it as the Universe trying to push me to face issues and transform.”

    That thought shifted my state of mind. Instead of struggling ‘against the storm’ it opened me to the possibility of using the storm to propel myself.

    I learnt to break my barriers and speak my thoughts. That brought a huge change in me. I’m so grateful for it all

  • nisha

    Well the things that I have learnt have been common for both of my low points –
    To be happy in whatever you do , professionally as well as in your personal life only then will you feel a sense of satisfaction and achievement.
    Its okay to be selfish when you are looking out for your own happiness because only a happy person will be able to spread happiness n keep others happy.
    To look at the brighter side of things and not feel left out or depressed when things dont go your way , u require only a minor revision of plans after all whatever does happen, happens for good and better things are destined to come your way. :)

  • KarmicIndian

    If you have read my post in # 11 you can relate here why I am writing these points down.
    So before you read any further go check #11 for my low points in 2012.

    Lession # 1.

    Below examples are reflection of my mind, how I give example to myself. So do not get confused :)

    If I give you my shoe to wear do you think it will fit you?? Chances are very less that it will..right.?

    Well same goes for our lives.

    What I did was I was influenced by media, society, television and what not that I should fall in love. I am 30 and have been alone for a very very long time. I wanted to get married. But my way of getting a soul mate was influenced by various people.

    My friends suggested go get her. My mind said I am not doing the right thing. I saw every one around and tried to implicate their way of falling in a relationship or choosing a girl.

    What I did was I never understood that the shoe I am going to buy wont fit my feet. Because its not mine.

    I had been in terrible tug of war with my mind. And at last I lost her. The biggest part is I lost myself.

    Lesson # 2.

    Love your self. Respect yourself.

    Lesson # 3.

    Do not rush love, do not rush relationships. If it has to happen it will happen. if you think you have to struggle to much he/she is not for you.

    Lesson # 4.

    Develop a passion for something you love, if you do not have one , do not settle till you do not find one. Its absolutely necessary. I am saying this because the more you concentrate on your self more you love your self. And less you do the wrong things. This stops your idle mind to wander.

    Reply people if you want to do a healthy debate.

    And thank you Celes.

    • JadePenguin

      Not much to debate here…all very well said ;)