A few days ago I came across this insightful graphic which I thought to share with you guys. It’s on 5 questions to ask yourself before speaking:
(Click image for larger version)
I thought these 5 questions serve as a great self-reminder to always share the most positive and inspiring comments with others. While it’s not possible to adhere to these 5 criteria all the time (especially if we’ve never given second thought to our words before), constantly asking ourselves these 5 questions will make it second nature over time.
Here are examples of how to apply each criteria in our daily life:
- Is it true? Make only comments that are true — true to what you feel, true to your beliefs, and true to what you know about the world. When everyone communicates in truth, it allows us to forge connections in openness and trust.
- Is it helpful? Always give the most helpful comments, especially when someone is asking for your opinion/advice. That’s because the person may heed what you say, and giving someone badly thought-out or random advice would lead the person on a wild goose chase, in turn wasting their time. “Helpful” here includes helping the person feel better, helping them gain clarity, helping them take action, and/or helping them reach a decision.
- Is it inspiring? There are 2 ways to trigger people into action — first by force (fear), second by power (love). The first is done through manipulation, coercion, negative triggers, and/or punishment. The second is done by inspiring people to their true potential and power. The inspirational way is the most powerful way as that’s when you help others discover their true power from within. Being “inspiring” doesn’t have to come from making big statements or promises — it can be just simply speaking from your heart and speaking with the intent to uplift others.
- Is it necessary? What is necessary is subjective. For me, necessary means something that I feel the person must hear, that will add value to the person’s life, and that will further the conversation. (It doesn’t include gossip, overt focus on formalities (rather than the connection), or tactless remarks.) When you focus on the necessary, conversations become more meaningful; people also appreciate what you have to say because they know there’s a reason behind everything you say.
- Is it kind? As we live in a digital age where everyone is quick to make knee-jerk reactions and criticize vs. appreciate, being kind is more important than ever. With every comment you make, online or off, strive to be kind. Don’t speak with the intent to hurt or wound; but rather, speak with the intent to connect and love.
So before you speak the next time… remember, think! :) As it may be a handful applying all 5 values at one go, I recommend applying them one day at a time. Apply each of the 5 values for the first 5 days of the week, then apply all 5 together on the 6th day. On the 7th day, review how you’ve done. The next week, rinse and repeat.
When all else fails, just remember — be kind. That usually takes care of the rest. :)
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