This is Day 3 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge held in March 2012, where we work on being positive for 21 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hello everyone, and welcome to Day 3 of the 21-Day Positivity Challenge (21DPC)! :D We now have over *500* official participants on the challenge!
Important: Sign Up First Before Reading Any Further
If you’re new to 21-Day Positivity Challenge, or you have not signed up yet (your name should be in the official participants list), please read the announcement post and sign up first before going any further: 21-Day Positivity Challenge. All details on the challenge, what to expect, and how to sign up can be found at the post.
If you have already duly completed the 3 sign up steps, your name will be added in the next 24 hours. ♥ Thank you!
For those of you who are already signed up – If you feel like this challenge has already bringing you positivity (and it’s only been 2 days, yo! ♥), why not invite a friend, family member, or colleague to join us? The more people we have on the challenge, the better! Simply direct them to the challenge announcement page here: Join the 21-Day Positivity Challenge
Update March 21: The challenge is now officially over, but you are more than welcome to do it in your personal space. Check out all posts made during the challenge: 21DPC Overview.
21DPC Day 3 Question
Today’s positivity question is:
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately?
… and
How Can You Overcome It?
Here is a related article on dealing with daily setbacks which you may find useful in dealing with your current frustration:
And the manifesto version, if you wish to have the tips available in an easy-to-read, poster form:
Your Task for Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s questions. Write as few or as many words as needed to fully express your thoughts. There is no word limit. Answer both questions, and not just the first question.
- For the step(s) you identified to overcome your frustration, put it into motion. Start with a baby step today, then go on from there.
- Identify at least one positive thing about your day. It may be something small or something big – as long as you deem it as something positive, it counts. If you have more than 1 thing to share, then by all means, go for it!
Share Your Answers!
After you are done, share your answers in the comments area!
If you’re doing this at the start of the day, you can post your answer for today’s question first, then work on your positivity task throughout the day, then return at the end of the day to share your results for your positivity task and your end-of-day positive reflection.
Check out other participants’ answers. Pick 1-2 participants’ answers and make a meaningful reply to them. Engage in the discussions. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days!
Look forward to reading your responses!
(Images: Happy girl in the field, Angry boy)
If you like my articles, join 64,000 readers and get my latest articles delivered to your inbox. Your email is safe and I never send spam.
Spending outside my budget. :angry:
Throughout last year I have been a good girl, spending within my budget and don’t bother about any sales going on in the malls. Unfortunately, I blew it last month and now will suffer the consequences this month.
And How Can You Overcome It?
* mind my own business and not go browsing around at the shopping mall
* just go and get what I need to buy and walk away quickly. Walk away from all temptations, offers, packages and what not!
* chain up and lock up my ego and vanity, then hide it somewhere that I can’t find it myself! :mrgreen:
Identify at least one positive thing about your day
* wake up feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep
* having hot, strong coffee with toast
* going for my course
Hah! Never having any money and being panic stricken each month when the rent is due.
That’s a simple one – get a job ;)
Today, I met a potential new friend :)
Man this one is simple in some ways. The thing that has frustrated me lately is not getting enough rest. See my wife moved out over Thanksgiving and took the bed with her. Long story I will get into another time but it found me sleeping on the couch alone. And with a new dog added to the home and my unconventional work schedule, my sleep has suffered.
Thing I am doing to fix this is to work on getting rest. I bought a bed today and will make this short so I can go finish setting it up. I will at least try to sleep more on weekends, and just sleep in now that I don’t have light directly on me at night in the bedroom.
I also want to take more advantage of the day I do have. I want to get out more and exercise. Go places and meet new people. That leads me into my positive thing of the day. Aside from the bed I took Tyson to the dog park downtown. We stayed for over an hour and I haven’t heard much from him since we got back. Love this!!!
:twisted:
just really not being part of a “couple” and having a relationship – i was engaged for 6 years and that was alot of energy to maintain – but being alone has its ups and downs — i am working on developing a healthy relationship with myself so that the next relationship has stamina
Francine, the day I realized the relationship with myself was as or even more important than any other one, I started to live, to accept myself and to look forward.
As my counselor used to tell me, once you love you, you find this peace with you, this joy within you, once you know you have a place where you can recharge, you’ll be able to share all of this with somebody.
I wish you all the best, I know it will work for you as it did for me, it’s only a question of faith and hard work.
Take care
Marie
Marie-
Thank you for sharing this insight and I do vow going forward to break the pattern of this past behavior and when an “unkind” thought about myself creeps in to mind – i am to be mindful that I do not have to believe it and change the schema –
:) comforted and encouraged by your support-
best in your challenges
francine
The thing that has been only source of frustration in last two months or so has been my relationship with my partner. First of all we are two very different persons and i have a feeling that this relationship is setting me back from my goals, dreams and my path of self growth. So first month when it was very frustrating it was because my partner had very bad habits and sort of dragged me into them like getting up late, not finishing what i started and overall lethargy. I struggled with that for a while and it was hard for me to advance when i was dragged down, but after all i have to continue my way and that is what i did.
So as thing happen with law of attraction my wake up call out of lethargy was also answered by my partner so his work hours and job has changed a lot, so now he gets up bright and early and has different habits. That is excellent, and i have started my own things like classes for my masters degree and everyday workouts. I am glad that we have this bursts of positive energy and outcomes but it has taken a tool on our relationship i feel like when we both get home we are in our days and in some way divided, not so into each other anymore. Just the energy is not there and we are starting to grow apart. First of all i hope that this is adjustment phase to changes in our lives and that we will be able to work on it and that improve our relationship.
And if not these are the steps i am willing to do :
First of all we started couples counseling recently and i am sure that that will bring at least some clarity on our relationship. Second i think we both need some time to adjust to new responsibilities and changed circumstances, and some time will also bring clarity on ours situation. Also good communication is foundation of every lasting relationship so in depth conversation about us and our priorities is in order. And if all of that fails i think that it is sometimes better to let go of someone that to hold on to something which is limiting one or both people involved, that being sad if it is time to go our separate paths i am ready and grateful for all nice moments and all things learned form experience.
And for the positive thing about today, there where few of course, so i started my day earlier than usual and that is always good thing for me. I also flowed through in spite everything and had my workout. I made a good and healthy food choice regardless of what people around me ate whole day and i had one nice moment with my partner and i hope that is a positive sign for future.
Beating myself up about most things I eat. Having had issues with food control, I have come a way from binging/purging in order to ‘control’ my eating. In fact, i’m starting to realise that I can eat moderately healthily, and maintain my weight (i have a healthy bmi of somewhere between 18 and 19, never been overweight). Exercise too isn’t a compromise for eating too much, it is in itself an intrinsic reward.
The hard part though is the negative thoughts that still dominate me. Still obsessing over whatever I eat. Possibly setting myself unrealistic goals and then feeling bad when I fall short (i.e. eat too much). Feeling like vomiting is necessary to keep me this way.
I’ve already started the path to recovery, i just need to keep it up. Acknowledge that nobody is perfect and learn to accept myself as i am – there are many people around me who love me and wouldn’t want me any other way.
The frustration of these past weeks is that I would like to do another job, I love many things but not one thing in particular, I have ideas but not one which can get me somewhere. So it’s messy in my head.
How to overcome it? Take a day at a time and make a pause to see what is important in my life, what I like, take time o reflect on my interests and passions.
Positive things of the day:
Got to clarify a situation with my husband
Understand I can always improve myself
Pray Twice
of late i think i am continously struggling to find what is the motive of my life…i mean like what would give me that happiness and peace that i want. when you are young you are too busy in education and exploring new things,by=ut around this age ,,,i am 25 yeras old ,you begin to think whats that thing that would make you happy for yeras to come?what is teh purpose of your life?i am constantly analyzing my thoughts and actions and checkking what gives me that eternal feeling of joy,happiness and peace. and must tell you,every day i learn something new. :p
There are many things that are frustrating for me at this point in my life but when I roll them all up into one thing, they all come from the same huge frustration I have. I had some legal trouble in 2009 and got off of probation in 2011. I need to get my driver’s license back and a job. These two things walk hand in hand together and it seems sometimes impossible to obtain one without the other. Example being; in order to get my license back I have to pay a couple fines at the court. In order to pay the fines I need a job so I am earning money. I find myself getting trapped in the aggravation of it all and thinking how do they expect me to work without being able to drive and how do they expect me to pay my fines without being able to work. It isn’t like I can catch a bus to a job. I live in a very small country town where we have two churches and a fire department. There are no buses here except for school buses. Also the county and surrounding counties aren’t exactly booming with job openings so it’s not simply deciding where I will work and getting there. Of course, with no work, money can get tight at times and while I am not striving to become rich at this point, living comfortably would be a huge stress reliever.
Since this can be overwhelming and at times hold me back from what I need to do, I wrote in my life handbook (Thank you Celes) how much my fines are, how much I earn a month from renting the home I own and then worked out a payment plan that I can afford. I am also job seeking with my best friend, so that would take care of a ride and we could share gas expenses and everything like that. I am hoping if I try not to wallow in self pity, get overwhelmed and stick to the payments, that although it will take a bit of time, I will reach my goal and overcome these frustrations.
My positive for today was my best friend is who my post was about yesterday. I let her read the reasons I listed that I appreciate having her in my life and why I love her so much. She cried it made her so happy and it was a good feeling to let her know how much I do appreciate how much she helps me.
I have one more positive to add and that is both my daughters are staying the night with friends and it makes me happy to see them excel in school and socially. It also gives me a small break on a Friday night to just sit back with my boyfriend and watch movies.
The one thing I always try to keep in mind is that when it seems my life is at it’s worst, there are other people that are dealing with problems and some much greater than mine. So it helps to count my blessings in life rather than dwell on the negative. :heart:
Hi Netta. You probably know this already, but you could sell some things on ebay or craigs list to bring in a little cash. You might not think you have anything worth selling, but people are buying everything these days. Kitchen gadgets, books, jewelry, clothing, handbags. It might be worth a try. It also helps clear out the house of stuff you don’t really need. Best of luck.
One of my biggest frustrations comes from my job, to me is frustrating being caged in that office 8 hours doing something that is not meaningful to me. It is frustrating that I don’t have the freedom to decide how I am going to spend my day. At work I am not being able to decide even the kind of activities I want to do; I simply obey my boss’ orders. It is a big issue for me at the moment.
Well, to overcome it, first I need to be more positive. I have been learning that our happiness depends on the attitude that we have. I have been writing grateful notes every day during my communing to work, also reading some positive things about being at the office. I feel it has helped me a lot, since I don’t feel desperate as I was before. This is especially important because I cannot quit my job right now, then I have to be patient and work in my plan – in the meantime. On the other hand, I need to find what drives me in life. I actually have been doing that in the last 2 months with a coach and I feel I have discovered many things. Currently I am working in a plan to start doing something in parallel to my job and follow my dreams. So, I think I am taking action and it makes me feel so happy.
I take advantage of this to thank Celes for the blog. It has helped me a lot, I have been combining your articles with my coaching exercises and it has been so valuable. Thanks for your time and wisdom; I am sure all the people subscribed to this challenge appreciate it. Your articles have impacted my life in so many ways, Thank you, and all the blessings for you!
A positive thing about my day so far, is that I could wake up after 8 am because is Saturday, yay and I will have a lovely breakfast with my hubby. So I better hurry :p
Have a lovely day :D
Diana,
I understand so well how you are feeling, as work at the office is tough for me too. I feel like lying to myself, but I need to work right now and I learnt to stay positive helps a lot.
It seems you have already taken steps and you are on the road of chance. Wishing you all the best with your projects.
Have a lovely day.
Hi Marie
Yes, it is really tough. But if you take actions and work in your mindset it will help you a lot.
I saw your blog, it is just lovely. So charming! if you want I can share with you some of the things I have been doing later to avoid getting desperate in my job and be more positive. I have some affirmations too. Just let me know, I’ll paste this in your blog too, just in case.
I am sure we can change our current situation with love, gratitude, positive attitude, faith and perseverance.
All the best.
Cheers
Diana
Thank you so much Diana, it would be very kind and helpful from you to share some of these things with me.
I realized not being able to find this stability at work mess up with other aspects of my life too, and I believe if there is something that can be done, something should be done.
Best wishes
Marie
Hi Marie
For sure. To avoid publishing my email here, what I’ll do is to leave a comment in your blog and when you moderate it copy my email and remove the comment.
Email me and then we can share some ideas and insights.
Have a lovely day
Diana
Thanks so much Diana!
Have a beautiful day
What is frustrating me lately? Being unable to make decisions and going back and forward and back again between choices… ranging from really small things all the way to bigger things…
small thing: deciding on whether or not to go out. Yes because it’s a fun party – then no because I’m still a little sick – then yes because a friend’s celebrating his birthday – then no again because my back hurts and might need a rest…
bigger: do I stay when I’m being demoted in my job or do I take my losses now and leave? when I thought I’d decided to stay and see how things would work out I had a talk with someone about it and figured I’d better leave… but just after I thought I had made that choice a remark by someone else made me doubt again
I don’t have this all the time, but quite often it feels like being into a discussion with myself
how to improve? well, first by becoming aware of the ‘problem’, but is there really a problem? it just feels stupid sometimes to be going back and forth between choices so much, and seems like a waste of energy too
I’m trying more and more to make a choice and stand by it, not changing it anymore once I made the choice… but that’s not always as easy as it sounds, perhaps the root cause lies is my uncertainty… if I’d be more self-confident I’d perhaps make choices more easily so the thing for me to do would be to work on that rather than trying to work on my decision-making problem
any advice?
Urrrgghhh… a couple of things have been bugging me at the moment. (I’m posting a day early as I’m aware I won’t be able to tomorrow!).
a) My emotional eating has flared up again. Why? (Celes always tells us to delve into – why, why WHY?) I believe it’s because I’ve been feeling a bit lonely, and food is my thing I turn to for comfort. I’ve also started a habit of watching TV while I eat and I often don’t take notice of what I’m eating and therefore always want more.
How will I deal with it? Start journalling more often when I’m eating – and aim to eat slower and without distractions. Ask myself – why I want that chocolate after dinner even though I’m not hungry, and try and overcome these urges.
b) Procrastination. My procrastination levels get a lot worse when I have things pressing on my mind – i.e. at the moment I have two assignments due in, in a couple of weeks, and I often spend my time procrastinating on the internet instead of doing them/ truly relaxing -i.e. reading or watching a film.
How will I deal with it? Try and make each moment count, make sure I’m spending less time on the internet and more time on myself – plus try and get those assignments out the way by the end of next week so I don’t feel stressed about them.
Here goes! As for positivity – it’s the day before – but tomorrow I’m off for a spa day with a good friend, and then out for a date in the evening so I’m very much looking forward to the day in many ways!
:heart:
Hard question.There are just so many ways for things to not go my way. The first is every am I want to wake up and feel good with energy but I have multiple health problems., Last night I made a modest list of things to do this and I actually did it before I got sick. But now it is still aft and I am bored and I want to do more. Well to be positive I will concentrate on what I can do first thingt tomorrow. And I bought a very nice journal to keep track
My need for validation is really frustrating to me. I am in therapy and currently working on this but it involves a lot of different things. The first part is my thinking that if a friend doesn’t respond to a text or already has weekend plans, that I’m a loser for not having anything to do or that no one wants to hang out with me. In my head, I know this is not true but emotionally I still feel that way. The second part is my thinking that I need to be dating/in a relationship otherwise I’m worthless. That by being single this means there is something wrong with me. Again, I know that is not true – but it still feels that way. And, again, I am working on all these things in therapy.
Steps to overcoming this are definitely baby steps. Basically becoming aware of how I am feeling and trying to change my thought process. Just because a friend has plans on Friday does not mean their life is more exciting than mine. Maybe it’s an obligation and they don’t even want to be there? Also telling myself that there is nothing wrong with staying in on a weekend.
My positive thing for today is: Taking a “personal day” to stay home and take care of myself.
One thing that has been frustrating me lately is my ability to make excuses to myself. Mostly this is in regards to my fitness. I am putting off my fitness but still wanting the results. I need to remember back to last year when I had a good routine in place and I was fit and trim. A changing work situation upset my routine and because of work stress (there goes one of those excuses again!) I never re-established the routine that I had, or established a new one.
As for a solution to my frustration – commitment is the only solution that will work.
“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you are interested in doing something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you are committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results” – Kenneth Blanchard
I know that being fitter and healthier will make me feel happier. I am committing to my goal of establishing an exercise routine today. I will exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes every day. I will reflect on this goal daily in my personal journal.
I will check in later on today with my positives – I have only been awake for an hour, so have a whole day to enjoy!
What frustates me the most is when you have to work closely with people and you aren’t sure that you can trust them. And while you are doing everything possible to make sure the work is done correctly and legally-they seem to put roadblocks up.
I deal with it by doing the best job possible and know that things work out the way they are suppose to and rest assured that while it may not always be my plan that is at work-it is God’s plan.
Today, I am appreciate that is march and the birds were chirrping.
I’ve worked with a lot of people too and from my travels (3 jobs LOL) I’ve noticed that too! You work hard to get your end of the duty done well and be a team player. But when the other team members saw what I could do they wouldn’t hold up their side. They got lazy. Another job I had, which didn’t require a lot of contact with too many individuals (had own set of specific duties which went hand in hand with the load of responsibilities) I was told months after I left my employment that ‘immature’ guys/males were talking about me in a sexual content. Of asking each other if they would sleep with me. Just as random trivia (about any female that walked out of the room) and when it was brought to my attention I was hurt. Of course, that was my first instinct but after thinking about it I came to the conclusion that I was in the upper position because I knew in my heart that I did not get around like the person who did the speaking. And why I chose to let those words get me down was like a chip off my shoulder because I thought it was rather funny to know that guys that talk down on those they know are ‘the pure of heart’ have a pretty dirty self image of themselves if they think they are better than that which is the opposite of themselves! Ha. I let that one go because he was fired for a similar instance in the employee parking lot!!! :twisted: I feel ya when you say your fellow employees are putting up roadblocks. Only thing, my road-bump was there but it didn’t affect the vehicle I was driving. I ran right over it and didn’t get and ripples. LOL
Good day to you, Lynn.
:D
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately? How Can You Overcome It?
so many things…want to go for my aims,,like weight reduction,quitting tv,cooking,and sooooo many habits…bt nothing i can accomplish…so far i am a dreamer bt nw waanna fullfil them and lack of courage to step forward ,,take the responsibility frustrates me alot :angry:
For the step(s) you identified to overcome your frustration, put it into motion. Start with a baby step today, then go on from there.
yeah i call to my freinds my teachers,,take advices,,ponder on them,,than pray and go to sleep :clap:
and the positive thng for da day…i called up my frendz,to seek help,,helped a freind,,prayed alot GOD..AND SEEKED HELP from HIM..asked HIS MERCY..deleted ma contacts from net …least contacts…reduced tensions :angel: :angel: :angel:
What is one thing that has been frustrating me lately? How can I overcome it?
That is a pretty neat question and it is neat that you ask what is “one” thing. That makes me narrow down what has been frustrating me. I do know for certain that there are things over which I have no control and I need to let the control go and the chips fall where they may. That is great in theory but for someone who likes to control things/events as much as I can it’s not always easy to just sit and be a bystander when things are unfolding around you. It is part of being an anal, control freak so if there was one thing I could do, and it would be to read more articles on “letting” go or stop sweating the small stuff if you will.
I get beside myself sometimes when I think anyone is trying to take advantage of me so I react to some actions that I should just let slide… I’ll get there, I know me.
Since the question was “one thing” I am going to pick my health/my weight.
I have always been an incredibly speed demon and athletic nut. I lived in the gym, several of them actually.
I had two consecutive accidents that I feel drove me away from my softball game and somewhere along the way losing the game has grown into losing the buddies that went with the game. I travelled twice with the team since the accidents, to watch, coach, do any number of things but I was lost. Not being part of warm up, not being pinch runner or to a strong degree a utility player killed me from the sidelines. Even going to parties was hurtful to hear them chatter about the next tournament, the next place we would fund raise to go to. I walked away from the team. In the end ironically I was afraid of the ball. I did not like standing on the field and thinking, don’t hit to me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee. My personality was to stand on the field and say, come at me if you dare. I was ready to take you out, in a fun, competitive way of course…. In any regard ball is gone and with it a large circle of buddies…
When I felt 100% I was playing ball, I was mountain biking, hiking, swimming laps. I was going to the gym for an hour plus before my work day started, going during my lunch break and taking in spin classes and Zumba whenever I could.
I was going to Surge Fitness Conditioning twice a week and I was going to Kick Boxing twice a week with additional kick box training sessions at the gym. I felt on top of my game, I felt that if anyone looked in a medical magazine for a healthy heart, it was mine they were looking at. I was 49 years old and I was d** proud to be in the shape I was in!
Some of the problem: Boom, accident 1 then boom accident 2. Took me a bit to get mad and get back on my feet. I have to a strong degree, I should not short change myself too much here but I was where I was and it frustrates the life out of me that I am not sure I can get back there.
I am okay that soft ball will never happen again. I miss the girls, sometimes but I joined a great racquetball league and the girls there are terrific and the game is awesome. I started a little slow with a hand injury but you might be surprised at my serve and the speed of my return. I learned to get a good handle on that racquet, pun intended!
I put one of my gym memberships on hold until May of 2012. I am still undecided there but the reminder comes up daily in my work task list just to act as a reminder that I need to stop and think what I want to do and not face a decision one week before I have to make that choice to close it… or not …
I put kickboxing and Surge Conditioning on hold. Now I did not lie down and go to sleep or anything. I now walk an hour every day before I go to work and I walk an hour every evening after we feed our puppy and before we eat so I get two one hour walks in every day. So many people lose weight and say, Oh My, I just started walking!!! I have walked faithfully since Jan 1st and I’ve gained two pounds – go figure. I hike whenever I can and last Sat we hiked almost 10K on snow shoes, I was a victim but it was FUN!
Problem is I am not feeling as “strong”, as “healthy” as I have been. I am not feeling sick really but the endorphins that make you think you are going to live forever and can take on the world are having a nap most days, outside of hikes and racquetball.
I want to get it back, all of it, most it. I want that feeling that I am a 51 year body carrying around 30 year old internal organs. I don’t say that because of beauty, don’t think I’m ugly but I won’t enter any beauty contest. I’ve never enjoyed being in the last to finish at anything
How can I over it?
Well today I printed the Surge Training Schedule so it is my thought to go back once a week. I printed the kick boxing schedule and I plan to start back, once a week. I printed the swim schedule and I plan to swim a few times a week on my lunch breaks and maintain my present rball schedule with the girls and I am fortunate that my sons is playing with me once a week as well.
I am hoping if I get back in the gym attire, a swim suit (I’m afraid ha) the atmosphere, the rest will just come with time and effort. It gonna take work because I don’t feel as strong as I want too.
I did start in Jan by doing 10 pushups every morning before I got dressed for work. In Feb I jumped it to 15 and for March I am at 20. I plan to keep bumping monthly by 5 until I reach 50. IF I can get to 50 pushups I will stay there, that is plenty and lots would be thrilled to get that many I figure.
As bad as all of this may read I definitely do stop and remind myself that someone is sitting in the Cancer Clinic today for treatments and I should just get a swift kick in the behind for not feeling in shape as I want to be. I also remind myself that everything is relative in this life and relative to where I was; I am not in the shape I want to be in.
Something positive for today!
Well I did print the Kick Boxing, The Surge and the Swim schedules so that is a small step in the right direction. Now to move them from the paper to the calendar and my butt to the gym!
I brought my co-worker in a bottle of white wine. She is a great lady who puts herself last in everything. Her support system is not strong as I see it. I would prob kill before I put up with half she tells me but to each their own. I gave her a bottle of wine and told her to call a friend this evening and share a bottle of wine with them, she smiled huge and her spirits have been fun all day. It is nice to see her looking so non-stressed.
I emailed my son and told him I signed us up for another schedule of rball which is 20 weeks. I told him that I love the time with him and I did not want to lose that connection. I got a beautiful email back from him, a beautiful one to which he ended, I love you too Mom… THAT makes any day a positive day!
I tweeted Celes and told her thank you and I was very much enjoying this challenge
I’ve rambled but I guess I needed to because it all flowed without thought…
Warm Smiles
One thing that has been frustrating me for a while is my procrastination regarding exercise.
I had been exercising regularly till february last year when I had a fall and hurt my knee. After a year with no exercise, I am finding it hard to start again. Even though I have been reviewing my eating habits and taking baby steps and getting results from these changes, I have not been able to motivate myself enough to start exercising (not enough time, weather too hot, raining outside etc).
One step I have already taken is to identify two exercise buddies – my adolescent son and daughter. :D
I’ve already contacted a gym and investigated their family plan – we’ll be starting next week probably. Being with my kids, I’ll have less reasons to miss my gym sessions or feel guilty about being away from home :dance:
I am starting again after I hurt my knee too! My borrowed car goes back on Monday – I have a bicycle for commuting after that. It helps to ‘have to’ do it! I’m too cheap to pay for gas or even take the bus!
With exercise, I found it really helps to plot out the time for it, rather than trying to squeeze it in. ‘It’s Monday, 7am, therefore, I must be exercising’.. because really, otherwise, why am I even awake that early?? Silly, but it works.
I can totally relate to having a hard time motivating yourself to exercise. I think its a matter of finding what works best for you so I’d recommend experimenting with various forms of exercise until you find the ones that maintain your interest. For me it’s a 60 day video workout program called Insanity. My excuses were not enough time, i don’t feel like leaving the house, no gym access, no weights or barbells, i don’t know how to put together a workout program. Insanity provided me an exercise routine that I enjoyed and could easily fit into my schedule (workouts average 45min).
If you identify the REAL reasons you have trouble getting yourself to exercise (i.e. easily bored with routines, you feel like you have to commit 2 hours, hate working out alone, etc.) then you can figure out how to motivate yourself.
For example, if you feel like you just don’t have the time, then start small by committing yourself to exercising 3 times a week for 30 minutes. Then gradually increase the number of minutes and days until you reach a level you’re happy with.
What also works for me sometimes, is that I don’t think about it. I objectively decide to do something and then do it. I’ve found that when I think to much about exercising, it takes more effort to get up and do it. So I try not to give myself the time to psych myself out about it.
Ask close friends and family to get involved and be your cheerleaders. Have them hold you accountable. Start a competition with your kids. Make it fun and enjoyable for you and it’ll come easier. You can do it! :)
A thing that frusturates me lately are my classmates. In particular this one guy. Well, he is the kind of a nasty person that likes to make others vulnerable infront of a crowd (the others that are just scared to attach him back or happy that they are not his victim). Well, today I was his victim. He does not attack me physicaly of course but with words, just teasing my name infront of everyone. Like an idiot. And what should I do when I face such a person? I mean what is his problem? It seem that his life is going good – he has a girlfriend, rich parents, nice clothes. He should be happy and let other be happy themselves. But maybe that’s just a habit of his – he tends to make fun of others, not realizing that it’s awfully shitty to do that. Well, I cannot change him and I just choose to ignore him. School is a place like this – you have to be with people who annoy you everyday, you cannot choose. And it’s never perfect.
I don’t want to make a big deal of it but that is the major frustration for me today. Nevertheless, tomorrow is another day, or in other words, a Saturday. :dance:
Positive of today: I made to new friends – a boy from Moskow who barely can speak english and makes me laugh with his accent. Russian and english – not the best combination. And a german girl with whom I go to dance. She seem very positive and I’m happy for that and I’m happy that I am able to communicate with her too.
I wanted to say congrats on making new friends! That is a real challenge for me and it’s nice to hear it being done so casually and that you met some interesting people.
My biggest frustrations at the moment would be squeaky brakes on the car and a leaking toilet.
I can temporarily stop the toilet leaking by hitting it, much like Han Solo hitting the Millenium Falcon to get it running properly. But we’ll eventually have to get the system replaced, which our plumber told me could be expensive.
For the car brakes I need to contact my mechanic. I might set myself a reminder to call him. It’s nothing serious though, as the brakes still work without any problems.
One positive thing… Well, so far I’ve just bought an update for the video capture, conversion and colour correction software I use. This new version has thumbnails that will enable me to view what files I’m working on more easily. It also combines two programs into one. Not a big upgrade, but worth the money from a productivity point of view.
Hi Glenn, good to see you again in a challenge :)
Plumbing problems can definitely be frustrating – I’ve got a leaking toilet too, but it’s only a small one and my husband already bought the part and is replacing it tomorrow :dance:
Hi Ish, that’s good yours can be fixed so easily! Unfortunately ours needs to be replaced, or at least the system. It was leaking once before and we ended up with a bill that was a lot more than normally. But apparently the new ones are a lot better, so should last a long time. I’ll be calling the plumber tomorrow.
Hey Glenn,
Just to say hello! Happy to see you here.
Hi Asni, great to see you here for another challenge too! :)
Okay, the biggest thing that has been frustrating me lately is that I have several projects that I need to do/complete around the house and I am having trouble getting up the energy, enthusiasm, etc. to tackle them. :(
To overcome this, I realize the best way to begin is to begin with only one of the projects, get a positive mind set about the task at hand and to visualize how the room will look when I am done and how happy completing the project will make me. :D
I had a happy/exciting/positive experience driving to work this morning. I actually had to pull off to the shoulder of the road to take in what I saw. In a cleared field was a herd of about 15 deers running! The expression on their faces showed that they were having fun and were not running from someone or something. It was definitely a “WOW” experience!
Boy, I hear your frustration Cheryl. I share it! The thing that helps me (sometimes) is listening to music, to make it more enjoyable when I’m doing things I really don’t like to do, like filing. Don’t know if this will work for you, but…I LOVE the fact that you pulled off the road to take the herd of deer. It is such a wonderful talent to know how to slow down and smell the roses…
What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately? How Can You Overcome It?
This is a bit challenging to answer because so many things have been frustrating me lately, that it seems like everything is frustrating. I think the real root of it all is the trouble I had last week with two of my classes (which ultimately had to be dropped) being too difficult for me. It was very hard for me, because I take pride in my academics, to admit that I might be struggling, and that these classes didn’t really pan out with my career goals. Trying to make the square peg fit in the round hole caused me to feel frustration when anything in life wasn’t going smoothly. I also stayed with it too long because I was afraid to change my course of study and extend my time in school. I recognize this impulse now as desperation, and one extra semester really won’t make that much difference.
For the step(s) you identified to overcome your frustration, put it into motion. Start with a baby step today, then go on from there.
First thing I did was withdraw from those two classes, (although I did that two days ago, I think it counts because that was such an issue with this!) I’m also going back-to-basics somewhat and doing independent study to help build my skills without the pressure of a class. Also, because I recognize that part of the reason I was so upset by this was because it would extend my school time ( which would also delay my ability to earn income) I am going to start looking for some extra work with the new free time available to me.
One positive thing today:
The sun came out!
Hey Laurel,
I have a situation that is a bit like yours but worse! I was struggling in my academics too (years back when I was in school) and I didn’t know where to ask for help. Let alone, didn’t know how to request it and who to turn to. So I did the unthinkable and I dropped out. Disappointed me because I didn’t like what I saw when I took a look at my transcripts. I moved on to the next semester; determined not to repeat what I’ve done. I was in a rut bigger than what I saw and the semester was going okay until midterms came along and when I saw what my scores were; I was again let down by the grades I made. Then, after that I couldn’t struggle with it (even though my instructors were willing to help me bring my grades back up) I let them down. But worse I let myself down a 2nd time and got another semester of Withdraws on my transcripts.
It’s been 3 years and I haven’t returned to mend what I’ve been avoiding. I have to go back on probation. Which means no living stipends for me. Just the pride of getting back into the swing of things and getting the grades that I’ve neglected to shine through me.
That is one reason I am here to find the help and support to return with the right frame mind and tools that will help with my success this semester. Good luck and hope all goes well with your academics. Don’t give up. Word to the wise. :)
Thanks, good luck to you too!
My poor social skills have recently been frustrating me. While some people will put in the time to try and understand me, I’m sad to say it’s difficult for most people to talk with me.
I am not sure what exactly to do as far as baby steps go. While it might be beneficial to pay more attention to how others speak, I think it would be in my best interest to try and make my words more concise. In practice, this means that I would think for a bit and try to find the best words to use before I say anything. And with writing, I would take the time to organize my thoughts, and then I would schedule some time for me to go back through what I wrote and edit it.
Something positive that happened to me today is that I saw a bunch of robins while I was walking. They reminded me that spring is on its way here. :dance:
In what way do you consider your social skills poor?
Are you unable to articulate what you want to say? If so, maybe you should read more (if you don’t already), to build your vocabulary and sense for expression. Do you do unsociable things like listen to music while others try to talk to you? (If so, don’t :), but I doubt that’s the kind of thing you mean.)
Are you maybe trying too hard to talk to them, without actually listening to what they’re saying? My ex was quite bad in that way, he’d totally ruin any conversation, because he couldn’t “play the ball back and forth”. He’d just throw in something random that totally broke the flow of the conversation because it had nothing to do with what was being said or the situation we were in, so no-one would be able to relate to what he said… He’d also try to start “serious” conversations when everyone else was in high spirits and just cracking jokes and pulling each other’s legs… then he’d get offended because no one took him seriously.
Are you maybe too self-conscious when talking to others? Try and lighten up. Do something that’ll build your confidence (karate helped me with that, and excercise in general, or maybe a course on public speaking?)
I really loved your positive at the end about seeing the robins!! I wish I had some wonderful advice to offer you about speaking to others. I think as long as you are being yourself the people that take time to know you are the ones that count. I do myself tend to come off blunt to people and it causes them to shy away from me. I’ve had to work over the years to soften my tone just a bit and perhaps weigh my words before I do speak them. I have come to love me and the type of outspoken person I am. I wish you the best!
What’s currently been frustrating me most iks probably my school project… I keep procrastinating on it severely and spend hours oodling away my time doing useless mundane stuff that is neither furthering my project, nor any of my other focus areas in life, such as art, creativity, excercise, karate or Feldenkrais…
I’ve had plenty of tantrums recently regarding the project, which have thankfully pretty much stopped, but I still don’t work on it nearly enough and there’s only two weeks left and quite a bit of work still to do…
What really annoys me is that most of the time I don’t do stuff that’ll get me any closer to any of my other goals in life either, so really I’m just wasting time. I feel I’m a bit aimless, I need more focus on what’s really important. If at least I WAS working towards my other goals it wouldn’t be so bad… But I just kinda put my life on hold completely…
How to overcome it… I’ve thought of cutting my internet connection while I work but I think I need it too often for project related stuff… I’m already on a self-imposed “reading fast” so I don’t distract myself with books. I think mainly I just need to pull myself together. It’s only another two weeks… and not engaging with the project often enough makes it harder to get into the flow, so I think I just really need to sit down more and DO IT.
Part of me has been fighting against this project from the start. I couldn’t come up with a really really great idea, so I had to pick something I considered second best. (Although other people think it’s a good idea…) Another part of me is scared… because it’s kind of important, I need to pass this to finish my Graphics Design course.
Another part is overwhelmed by the size of the project. I need to break it down into more sizeable chunks that are easier to action…
I think I’ll write a detailed list and time plan of what needs to be done later, so that I get finished in time…
And I’ll be getting back to work on it in a minute…
I’d be helpful for any tips on this subject :)
Oh, positive things that happened today:
It’s the third year anniversary of me getting my driver’s license, and also my driving instructor’s birthday, I sent him a “Happy Birthday” SMS and he was pleased :)
Feeling quite postive about life
Slept well
Had a great breakfast (porridge with apple, banana, almonds and cranberry sirup) Yummy.
Got some work done on my project
Read some nice and inspiring comments on this challenge :)
Went to the shop just to get a tiny packet of yeast for 15ct so I could bake bread and the Lady in front let me go first :)
Baked bread
Ate nice, fresh homemade bread from the oven :D
Posted the recipe to my creativity blog
I used to be a huge procrastinator, wasting time mostly playing online games. I would sit for hours, *litterally* for hour in front of my PC and let time pass without doing anything productive. At the end of the day I would feel bad about it, I would tell myself “Oh, why is my life so boring? Why does nothing new happen? Why, why, why?”. Until one day it struck me – I and only I was responsible for that situation. I didn’t progress in any of my life’s areas (school, drawing hobby, exercising, getting around a healthier diet) because I didn’t act upon those areas. Just like you said, my life was completely on hold. But while I was the cause, I would try and seek external causes which leaded to that state of apathy in my life. Once I realized this, my eyes were open. I began planning my days ahead, assigning time for work, for drawing, for exercising, for meeting friends, etc. and even though at first it seemed really difficult (since being passive was like a massive bad habit that had taken over my life), I kept pushing myself every day, to stick to what I had planned. In time, it became a natural thing for me to get my work done first, then enjoy the rest of the day while I would do all the other things I wanted to. My life began to move forward, to change, I got more opportunities than before (I sat and passed a Cambridge C1 exam, I participated in several school contests and got done a big part of my work for the final exams of this year). Just stop for a second and analyze your current situation, then work on yourself and your environment in order to change from a procrastinator to an achiever ;) Best of luck!
Oh, and you can search here on PE the procrastination series written by Celes. It’s a good starting point for you, in my opinion. :) :hug:
Oh, goodness, my responses have been very short but I could take up all the internet pages with this one….my frustration lies with a relationship my daughter had with a boy for the past few months. He is a senior and going off to college and was doing his best not to hurt her and distancing himself in preparation for him leaving (all noble, commendable things). However, they are now not together and after behaving very maturely with her, he has turned into a complete jerk. It incredibly frustrating to watch him do this but boys will be boys. I plan to overcome this with prayer (it’s breaking my heart) and just helping my daughter deal with the mess. Her surprising level of maturity through this has impressed me and made me smile.
The positive thing about today is…she and I are learning and growing together.
Paige, I feel for you about this. It can be VERY frustrating when someone you care about is in a relationship that’s starting to go south and there’s nothing, you as an observer, can really do.
Good luck to you and your daughter.
Better for her learn boys are jerks sooner rather than later! :)
*sigh* I have been in similar experiences, where lovely relationships end badly and one or both parties seem to completely switch personalities! I think you have a wonderful attitude towards it – and it must be so hard to see someone you love so much going through it. :hug: for both of you.
1. I have been really frustrated at my job. I have two different job functions at my full-time job, one of which I volunteered and fought to get (I do it “part-time”). Now I want to do that part-time function full-time and I am getting the run around. I am most literally being punished for being a good worker (i.e. I cannot do the job I want because my full-time function does not want to lose a good person). I am caught in a game of politics (I work in government) and it’s annoying as upper management is playing games with my career. I have never been in such a position in my life! (Plus, I have a Masters degree in my part-time function!)
2. I have met with the supervisors of my part-time work and they are talking to upper management to get the issue resolved. If this does not work, I am going higher up myself. This all has to be done tactfully as I do not want to “burn bridges” (i.e. government career suicide).
My Daily Positivity:
My pets looking at me with what I think is love and adoration. It is really a look of “Give me food now Mom!” It’s okay because I love them. :love:
The power of communication. Sometimes just asking helps.
The dog can always be counted on to be positive. The cats not so much!
Seems like you have a really sticky situation but as long as you’re sure you are passionate about it and want to pursue full-time you current part-time job, then do your best to achieve it :) I wish you best of luck, Tina!
I really wish to have a dog one day :D Pets can be such a mood booster, they’re so friendly and affectionate, especially if you grow them since they’re small.
I don’t have a dog – I have guinea pigs :) I get the “Give me salad now!” look every morning.
Yea, it’s hard when you, for lack of a better term, are not “allowed” to follow your passion.
Such a relevant question for me at present..! Thanks a lot for asking this..! :) :*
I have a friend, one of the best friends. I speak my heart out to him, but i have realised lately , that he has a life of his own..he is like a nutshell, sharing very less with me. He kind of speaks very less to me.!
And , the bad part is that, i am very possessive about him. So, i want him to share everything with me.!
But, that is too much to expect for , because he has a life of his own. I have to understand it.Untill he is gud with me, why should i have any other problem..?
Suggest me celes.!!
And this is irritating me whenever i meet him or talk to him..! :(
what i try to explain myself is that, i too have so many friends. When i can talk to anyone anyway, he has the freedom too..!
But the problem is, whomever i talk to i tell him..Its like my life is not private with him. I share everything , every singlt thing..
And, as per me , this problem will be solved if i too share less. So, i stop expecting..!
The basic problem is ” EXPECTATION”
-What is One Thing That Has Been Frustrating You Lately? How Can You Overcome It?
I keep trying to adopt a healthier diet but it seems like I’m simply hitting walls with this goal. I’ve changed some of my eating habits (I don’t eat pastry products anymore or salty snacks, plus I haven’t had a soft drink in a long while now). However, this is all I was able to do because these are the only things which are in my power. But I feel it’s not enough, I still eat a lot of fried foods (everything my parents cook has fried onion in it or fried potatoes >.>) or pork meat. We rarely have fish and, when we do, it’s fried. I’ve tried talking with my parents and their answers are invariably the same regardless of how I approach the matter. I talked first with my mother, because she is more open, telling her how I would wish to eat more vegetables, raw or steamed, and cut out some of the fried foods. I offered to help with cooking and to do part of the shopping for groceries (these are ideas suggested by Kate and Celes during the 21DFC), but she gave me the same answer: “We don’t have the time/the money to split meals like this”. It’s frustrating because I really want to achieve my goal of living a healthier lifestyle. And right now I really don’t see what else I could do…So the second part of today’s question remains unanswered this time – I’m simply out of ideas.
-I kind of identify positive things with good deeds (it’s just how my brain has wired the “positive” with the feeling of wellness). So a positive thing I did today was to share my school snack (some simple biscuits, with no aromas but very yummy nevertheless :D ) with a classmate. She felt really hungry and since I still had some of my biscuits I shared them with her. :)
Sounds like a tough situation you’re in there with the meals Lina. I’m surprised they don’t embrace the healthier options you’ve suggested. Normally parents would prefer their kids eating healthier food. You might just have to refuse the fried foods? Or see if you can prepare a few of your own meals at a separate time.
Yeah, what Glenn said Lina. Perhaps they are just not at the consciousness level where they can comprehend the importance or value of healthy eating. As I mentioned to you in last month’s 21DFC, I experienced an extreme amount of resistance for a *VERY* long time on having my parents cook healthily. One of the big tipping points was when I just started cooking for myself and stopped eating what they cooked (my mom really, cause she cooks most of the time). If I recall right, my mom/dad got very curious and wanted to see what I was making for myself.
Another thing you might want to note is that whenever you eat those fried/unhealthy/stuff you don’t want to eat, they take it as you wanting to eat them (despite whatever you may say), and hence perpetuate the cycle. For example in the past, I kept telling my parents repeatedly *not* to buy XYZ food because I didn’t want to eat it / it was unhealthy / etc reason, but I still ate it at the end of the day because I didn’t want it to go to waste / I didn’t want to come across as not appreciating their efforts. Then they would buy it again the next day. Then I would get frustrated and the same cycle would repeat all over again.
In the end I realized from their eyes, all they see was the food gone = I ate it = I wanted to eat = they should continue buying/cooking. So as much as they may have introduced the phenomenon, I was perpetuating it / equally responsible for it with my actions. If you start thinking from that perspective, many new options/solutions will immediately start surfacing before you.
Well, that’s exactly what I do, I eat it anyways because I don’t want to come across as rude or ungrateful. Hmm, seems like I’ll have to really make a statement about my intentions towards food if I want my parents to *see* that I’m serious about it. Thank you, Celes!
Thank you for the advice, Glenn :)
This is not a just lately thing, it is an on-going battle. I have this overwhelming desire to help people, to be there for them, to try and make things better for them. I recognize this and I guess that is the first step to overcoming this problem, but I haven’t made the hurdle yet.
When I know of someone close to me that is having emotional issues that need to be dealt with or problems that hinder their personal growth, I have a tendancy to want to help them. The problem is, these are typically the same people that don’t want help, but would rather dwell in their misery, therefore, creating misery/drama for others, myself included.
If the situation is to emotionally charged with negativity, I do my best to avoid it, but I still have that desire to help them. It’s like I feel this great weight of responsibility to help. I’m trying my darndest to determine between those people that are receptive to it, and those that aren’t. But it is the few that aren’t, who create a miserable place for people around them, that I have that pull to help. Even if I know it won’t do any good, they still weigh heavily in my heart!
*Sigh*
Love Hugs & Green M&M’s
KK
I really admire your deep-seated desire to help others, though I can understand that it would be draining if you’re not making any progress or they don’t want to be helped… Very tricky situation :(
Do you actually feel bad if you don’t help them? Maybe just noting the fact that you would LIKE to help them, but acknowledging that it’s currently not in your power and trying would just make you more miserabel would help? I’m not sure…
Maybe they need a heartfelt kick in the arse for a change, not kindness ;)
Thanks for commenting! I have found that I have to be very careful b/c it seems like this is more of an automatic reaction for me. I am concentrating on becoming aware of it before I get to involved and I have to step back sometimes and realize that its not my place to fix everyone. But yes, there is a little guilt when I hit the brick wall.
I’ve been told that I need to realize and focus on that. It puts an emotional burden on my shoulders that I’ve created for myself. While my intentions are good, it can be very exhausting.
dear krisk…my wishes are the same as yours…bt cant make any progress towards,,beside best wishes for u…make plans,,short term plans regarding ur task,,make a group of freinds,,in my step i have none any having ideas like bt still i have dreams for well being of people around me…
regards :love:
Thanks, I feel the same as well.
I am really trying to realize there is a time that you can help, and there is a time when you can’t. Maybe that person just isn’t ready for the life lesson, or maybe it’s just something they have to learn on their own.
I don’t know. I’m going to keep doing my best to be there for others, as long as I can recognize when it becomes emotionally taxing on myself.
Dearest Krisk,
I feel the same way and I love to help everyone but sometimes in life you can’t help those you see as needing help. Some people are happy with their life and happy with the negativity. Still… You can help even if its with a suggestion or give them a thought to hope for! Sometimes, words can heal a wounded soul and give them hope.
You know, there is are people in the world who don’t want help or pity (as they see it) and want to be left alone. I have learnt to help those who help themselves and not give up. My advice is carry your elephant skin and choose those you wish to help as you see fit because it will help with the taxing on your emotions and energy. Focus your energy on those who want help and are willing to change their situation.
Also, you can think of ways to help those who reject you. Get to know them better and understand them and what their life has been or is like. Perhaps, experience their experience that way you can help those who you speak of.
I hope this helps, as I have been where you are and I still struggle with it but I remember to carry my ‘Elephant Skin” – its a personal barrier I put up which no one can break or you can say its a ‘happy bubble of light’.
All the best :hug:
Wow, I honor very much your desire to help. You sound like a true Bodhisattva, or one who vows to keep on serving others until every sentient being is free.
For what it’s worth, here are a couple of perspectives on helping.
1 – Learning the difference between sympathy and empathy. There is a good contract between the two on this link: http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy. The basic idea is that with empathy, one can literally take on the karma of the other person, whereas with sympathy, one has the feeling of empathy, but doesn’t share the others pain.
I may possible be confusing the two words, but the point is that it is in my view NEGATIVE to take on or share another’s pain, in the sense of “I feel for you, I going right down where you are and experience that with you.”
It’s negative for two reasons: 1) it doesn’t allow the person to have his or her own experience 2) 2) it leaves the helper drained and can literally lead to a loss of the sense of self.
In much the same way, I have been taught that it is helpful to be independent in a certain sense when married. One needs to stand in the sense of self, so that one can be a strong, individudal sefl for one’s partner. Rather than, say, co-dependent.
Anyway, I apologize if I sound too preachy here. It is a subject I feel strongly about. I hope what I’m sharing is in some way helpful.
Good luck!
I do go through same thing as you.
It’s hard to see my surroundings sad or going through rough times.
Sometimes they do appreciate your help and other times, they don’t want your help and hurt us more.
We do care about them that’s who we are.
We can’t really change that but we can try to accept that we can’t solve or make everyone happy…
Commenting for this post is closed.