This is question #8 of the Year End Countdown Challenge held in Dec 2012, where we count down to the new year with 13 reflective questions. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Welcome to Day 6 of the 2013 Countdown Challenge! :D
2013 Countdown, Question #8…
Questions for the 13-day, 13-question countdown so far:
- #13: How has your year of 2012 been? | 168 Comments | Post Your Response
- #12: What are 12 things you love about year 2012? | 120 Comments | Post Your Response
- #11: What were your lowest points this year? Why? | 113 Comments | Post Your Response
- #10: What lessons have you learned from those low points? | 69 Comments | Post Your Response
- #9: What could you have done better this year? (Be honest with yourself) | 41 Comments | Post Your Response
Today’s question, question #8, is:
[Cont from #9] What can you do to ensure you don’t repeat the same behaviors in 2013?
Your Task
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers.
Look forward to reading your answers! :)
(After you are done, proceed to #7: What are you most grateful for in 2012?)
(Images: Field, Constructing a lego set on a field)
![Writing a letter to your future self [Video]](https://personalexcellence.co/files/celes-letter-to-future-self-video-400x267.jpg)
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Building (or should I say rebuilding) the writing business will be much easier this year, mainly because we convinced the landlord that wireless internet was necessary. He had it installed about a month ago. Winter is upon us, and the inn where I work does not require my assistance as many hours a week during this season. I will have the time necessary to dedicate to the writing business this winter. Also, knowing now that the inn work requires so many hours during the summer and fall months, I plan to work ahead of schedule to get as much done as possible ahead of time, while things are slow. This will put me ahead of the game for a while, leaving me less stressed during the busy season. Mainly, I just have to get back into the habit of working on the writing business every day.
* Position and create new Vision Board in my new Flat! :dance:
* Review my journal weekly :D
* Focus on my strategies and actions that leads to my goals :D
* Continue meeting my accountability partner bi-weekly :D
* Meet right networking group :clap:
* Schedule bi-weekly – ‘What I feel like saying’ dialogue with children; no one interrupts until the person end with “This is what I feel like saying” then the next person start with “What I feel like saying and end with this is what I feel like saying.” This exercise is good so that every one has a turn to say how they feel from the heart and know that they are being heard. Everyone gets a chance to say something from the heart. No one gives an answer. No answer is needed. It can be acknowledging someone or it can be expressing your positive or negative feeling. :hug:
Put ‘The Power of Now’ next to my new bed. :D
Hi Dolly,
Thanks for sharing your “this is what I feel from the heart …” I really like this, I try to speak directly from the heart as well. Expressing feelings is something I find difficult and I am working on mastering.
Hi Bob
I am happy that you find this way of speaking directly from the heart useful. You write very well and I do pick up gems from your sharing. I hope this countdown community’s sharing remains so that we can come back and check on each others’ gems and remind ourselves what we have mentioned here and take the actions. :D Thank you v much Bob :clap:
Great plans Dolly, it sounds really exciting :) What’s an “accountability partner” if u don’t mind me asking?
Hi Kyoko, thanks for asking:) :D
Accountability partner is someone you support, encourage and believe in. You make each other accountable for the goals both of you set for yourself. As a solopreneur (self-employed), I am a parent coach, it can be lonely working on my own. My accountability partner is also self-employed. He is a career coach, we have positive mindsets and have the foundation of life coaching so we coach each other by asking each other powerful questions. Here is a short list of what we do during our meetings.
1) To bounce off ideas.
2) Call on each other to focus on our goals.
3) Be authentic to share our challenges and wins.
4) Share our resources.
5) Give each other constructive feedback.
6) We are free to do what we feels right for ourselves.
7) Discover each other’s blind spots by coaching each other.
8) Most important have fun during these meetings, be light when the other is too serious, be serious when the other is too relaxed, so we strike a balance and get things done.
9) The intention is to cheer each other on, by acknowledging and appreciating each other’s strengths.
When your trust and friendship developed, you gain a buxom friend.
It is not easy to find a good accountability partner, don’t stop looking for one though.
Let me know how we can best help you. By the way, my accountability partner is Ngee Key who is also a regular in PE community.
:dance: :clap: :bow: :angel: :D :heart: :hug:
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1. Planning and reviewing
Apply ESPER goal setting manifesto.
Think clearly what I want even if I am not absolutely sure keep asking myself questions like – Is this what I want?
How can I improve this?
What am I learning and how can I apply this now?
How can I improve my planning and make it fun?
How can I simply this process?
How can I enjoy this?
How can I plan more thoughtfully and thoroughly?
2. Use my time more productively
Apply Productivity, How to Finish What you Start and 8 Habits of Highly Productive People manifestos daily. Ask myself questions
How can I focus more?
How can I manage my time effectively?
How can I streamline, automate and outsource?
How can I improve my thinking skills?
3. Setting clear targets for each month, quarter and year.
Update Vision Board.
Update regularly, and check progress with tracking pie charts, bar graphs.
Look at my planning at least twice a day once first thing in the morning and once last thing at night.
Put bucket list where I see it.
ESPER and Productivity, exactly what I need for 2013 :)
For me it is simply setting clear goals and checking in daily to see that I am on course and if not what do I need to do n order to do so.
I’ve figured out a few ways to break out of bad habits. When it come to getting things done, starting on small things or the most enjoyable (yet inspiring) things works well to get in the mood. Even something as common as making myself some food boosts motivation! Getting out of bed right when I wake up (instead of daydreaming there forever) is another good habit I’ve been cultivating :)
For social interactions, I’ve found that if I have anything on my mind to say, I should say it! And try to ask random questions to show interest in the other person; also ask for more information on things they tell me.
To stop thinking too much about my love interests – I need to busy myself with what inspires me, be as active as I can, stop worrying about being mega-sociable (cuz I’m not), stay positive and keep a sense of humour! Maybe with a tint of arrogant self-admiration – I’m simply too cool for them ;)
Focus on moving forward
Take care of myself and my health
I am actually undertaking a developmental coaching program which deals with these issues :) These are my action plans:
* To be a better partner: put myself in his shoes and the stresses he is dealing with. This will allow me to empathise and support him where necessary. If there are issues, distract myself with work/volunteer/movies until we can talk – THEN TALK; be honest and open and voice all the problems so we can sort it out before it lingers and worsens. Learn self respect and treat myself with care, especially when out with friends- when I take care of myself he won’t have anything to worry and stress over.
* To be a better daughter. Communicate, show affection and have regular catch ups, say once a fortnight at least with texts in between. Email dad regularly and check up on how he is. Understand that each of us acts in the best way we could in certain situations and that they may just be doing their best no matter how hurtful it was. Realise that despite the hardships, this life isn’t too bad, in fact, right now I’m very happy with where I am even though improvements (and quite a lot) are still needed. Understand and be ok with the fact that I can only control MY LIFE – not theirs, and what they chose is their choice. And after all, when you love someone you WANT to let them go and live their lives and make their choices.
* To my friends, be a better friend by being more in touch with them. Catch up face to face with one close friend at least 1x per week! Text, email, skype to stay in touch. Organise dates with the girls.
* To my employers, be more active. Understand what it is my marketing activities are striving for and work for it – keep it at the top of my mind! Discuss with my boss regularly about updates, improvements, concerns and review of my work. Keep motivated by striving to make her dreams – making our company big – come true. Dedicate, one per week. a “study morning” where I read up on marketing and review what I have been doing. Also set up tracking & measurements campaigns for 2013.
* To myself, be more kind. Realise that we are all human – and in being so, have fallacies. We cannot be perfect, in control of EVERY SINGLE THING. We CAN FEEL – we can laugh and we can cry. We can feel vulnerable and week and that’s totally ok :) It matters more how we pick ourselves up! Stay kind to myself, tap into my inner child more often when I’m feeling down, reach out and remember that all of the billions and billions of cells in my body ARE TRYING TO KEEP ME ALIVE – that’s a LOT of loving :dance: :dance: :p
Dear Kyoko,
I love the way u have give narration for each part of your self :) It sounds interesting and very heart touching. Hope all your wishes come true in the Year 2013 and have a great, healthy and happy new year. :)
Thanks Vasundhara :) Wish you a fabulous 2013 too ! :D
“Stay kind to myself, tap into my inner child more often when I’m feeling down, reach out and remember that all of the billions and billions of cells in my body ARE TRYING TO KEEP ME ALIVE – that’s a LOT of loving”
I love that thought and find it very helpful. Thank you!
More discipline and follow the plan.
After my father passed away I took some serious action on my life. I quit a job I hated, went to 2 (week long) personal success seminars that rocked my world. I learned so much about myself at these seminars and I’m open to learning more. When I have an arguement with my boyfriend, I’m less defensive and take a serious look at what my influence was on the arguement. I try not to repeat what I learn. I’m working towards setting goals and dreams and making plans to make them real. I live in the present/now and when I’m not, I pull myself back. It isn’t easy, but it is possible. I am also working on surrounding myself with people who help hold me accountable and are good for me. I take each minute, each hour and each day as they come. I try to do better each day and forgive myself when it isn’t what I planned.
that’s really great that you actively sought personal development – it’s always that first step to reach our from our comfort zones that are hardest so yay to you, Stacey! Hope 2013 only takes you higher :)
1# i will set goals to achieve them in 2013 and will focus on high priority task instead of low priority tast.
2# i will be proactive and will not procrastinate . .
3# i will not focus on to do things perfect because it is the seed of procrastination . People want outcome if it is perfect or not
4# in 2013 i will act on my main goal which i wanted to do after my education and for which my plan was to do on perfect time
5# i will be pasitve and will forgive other and my ownself .
Be gentle with myself again, again and again.
Keep the intention of loving myself just as I am and the intention of loving others just as they are.
Meditate more, go for more walks, slow down more.
Have faith in a loving universe and keep on keeping on.
I am very sure I would learn to cut my losses and move on. I had gone through heartache trying to repair a relationship that was beyond saving and that taught me there are somethings that are better left untouched. I also learned to accept myself that I can handle difficult siutations, having gone through what I did I can be more confident of myself 2013. Most of all, to make everyday matter. There have been days where I let them pass and granted some days it didn’t really matter but I realize that those days I could’ve pushed myself a little more, taken one more step. Thats something I want to do differently next year
I love this question.
* I will Love the Lord my God with all my heart, free myself from things He call sin. Help me Lord.
* I will try to build good relationship with my friends and family, try and dictate when am wrong mostly when am with them.
* Be more Careful and Prayer harder.
* I have a new job Military Job am so happy, will dictate my full time and life for my job am starting first month of 2013.
I guess the big thing I need to do is concentrate more on what is going on in life that is positive, and less about what is happening that is negative. I need to open up myself to a new range of ideas and possibilities. Right now I live kind of a sheltered life. I basically go to work, come home, and repeat the next day. Maybe change up where I eat out at but not a lot of difference. This is not a good way to live. Being stuck in a rut only leads you down that path daily towards nothing. I want something out of my life. Not exactly sure what yet but I do know something.
To be better towards my friends, I want to:
– Seek help from them to help me stop my bad habit of being blunt (and at times sarcastic), and to understand why I’ve said what I said
– Think about what I want to say carefully before saying it out loud
To be better towards my parents, I want to:
– Be more caring and considerate towards them
– Learn to be more patient with them (and explain things they do not understand)
– Try to see things from their perspective/POV before getting angry/impatient/any bad feelings
To be better towards my teachers, self and parents (as a student), I want to:
– Stick to my schedule in order to balance study and play better
– Pay more attention during classes
To be better towards strangers I meet in my life that need help, I want to:
– Continue the good habits I have already been practising (e.g. giving up my seat to someone who needs it more in public transport)
– Be more conscious of my surroundings and try to help everyone (within my abilities and limits)
To be better towards myself, I want to:
– Say no to things that I don’t want to do and doesn’t align with my values but will take up a valuable chunk of my time (exception for studies)
– Expand my reading scope
– Do schoolwork not for the sake of doing it, but understand how it will help in my life
I should consciousely work on myself – about the thoughts, the effect of my thoughts and the reaction which am giving on account of such thought. I should start concentrating on my health and related aspects and should do Yoga and meditation without fail.
I should stay positive all the time and need to analyse the root cause for my negative thoughts and need to work on the same.
I think that the solution to everything is to take one thing at a time, work on one thing at a time. I usually get super-duper excited at first and feel extremely strong and ready to undertake anything so I begin working on 3-4 goals at a time. Of course, this method eventually fails. So I should take things one at a time while constantly reminding myself why I’m doing whatever it is that I’m doing and what I’ll get out of it once I’ve reached my goal.
I can relate on trying as many things when changing myself to be a better person then of course it always fail. I’ll also try doing one thing at a time :)
Oh yes, that’s one thing I forgot on my list. Focus. On one main project at a time. I tend to have the same problem, trying to achieve way too much at the same time. My interests are also very wildly scattered and I read and browse way too much, drowning myself in way too much input, which prevents me from getting creative. So that would be another thing I need to add to my list.. focus on the essential. Limit the nonessential.
Thanks for the reminder :)
I think the most crucial measure for success in 2013 will be to honesty. If I accept whatever happens to me, I can take the proper action to make it better. Listening and reflecting over my real emotions and dreams will be the first step to achieving happiness. In the past I’ve become better and better at hiding my true self – from other people, from accomplishing my dreams, from myself. Much of this has to do with insecurity, I thought I needed to be someone else to be who I wanted to be. I realize that if I can indeed fool others, I can never escape what I feel. All I do is deny it, and by doing so I acknowledge that I’m not good enough. Moving forward I need to be utterly honest with myself. If I want to go for my dreams I go for them, with everything it takes. If I’m unhappy I need to figure out a way to get through, instead of merely avoid it. If I make a mistake I can use it as a learning experience, instead of a recipe for failure. Being sincere towards people I care about is also important, because I want to give them the opportunity to understand the real me. Sharing my dreams, thoughts and ideas openly will be a challenge, but worth it no less. I was never truly a liar, just a denier of my own happiness.
To ensure I don’t repeat the same behaviors in 2013:
– First and foremost, I will make an action plan (ESPER: Establish, Strategy, Plan, Execute, Review) on the things I want to do especially the ones that will make myself and my life better
– Just start from small steps then keep moving forward even I fall back, get rejected, criticized, or judged
– Set some clear and specific goals, and develop clear and achieveable plans of action
– Take action on one thing at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed and depressed
– attend and participate in self development activities
– practice ‘awareness’ and being ‘present’ in the moment
– try to continually be aware of being motivated from a core of love and kindness
– seek help and assistance and guidance when I get stuck
“- practice ‘awareness’ and being ‘present’ in the moment ” <- This. I've been trying really hard to increase my awareness. I'll keep working on it next year, too.
Hm… I think I need to keep clear on what my next steps need to be on all my running projects to move them forward. Then I need to just sit down and do the work. Start with baby steps. Make myself aware that procrastination is just a form of self torture and isn’t moving me forward. Review my progress regularly. Try and get clear on my goals and try and keep that vision at the front of my mind. Inspire myself to keep going.
Another thing I did not do well in 2012 was maintain my health (my fitness and weight).
What I can do to avoid the same mistakes in 2013 is as follows:
1. I joined a boot camp to get my weight under control and regain my fitness health. I will maintain the weight loss and a healthy exercise program.
2. I hired a marketing and money coach already so I can start 2013 off on the right track.
Slow down more, breathe more and try not to multi-task too much. Focus on the present and the people around me and just learn how to relax. Live doesn’t have to be so driven. Break down larger goals into smaller tasks and learn to let go.
I will have more discrimination in the choices that I make whether it be an association, a job or activity. Anything that does not line up with my purpose at this time will not be an option. Also, per Celes’s suggestion I will not make myself as accessible so that I can focus on my own goals. I have to draw the line between being a helpful and serviceful person and getting taken advantage of.
I know that I can purchase a daily planner and get myself more organized. This has been a lifelong struggle for me. I know I can if I put forth the effort to and also, it will help my girls if they see me being organized.
I am planning on opening up a savings account and managing my money better so that I can accomplish what I need to do. Needing my license has proved to be a struggle and one I don’t have to deal with if I set my goals and keep them. Sadly enough, I had wrote this in a 2010 challenge here at Personal Excellence and still haven’t done it.
I want to wake up everyday, be thankful for the day and not procrastinate on what needs to be done for the day.
I also know that lack of sleep is making me tired as far as my fitness goals. I want to set a structured bedtime for myself as well as my children. Then I feel as if I will be able to keep my fitness goals. This will also benefit my daughters, especially my oldest who wants to exercise and thinks she is overweight. The truth is she doesn’t look bad but exercise could improve on her self esteem.
This are the things I want to get done and plan to get done.
I intend to be proactive and get things done.
I will have lots of things that motivate me to push me forward in times when I need it most.
I will stop comparing myself to others and concentrate on my own progress.
I will work on losing my inhibitions so I can keep on improving myself as much as I can.
I will work on a new vision board for all my dreams
I am now and will continue throughout 2013 to create new empowering habits for myself. THese will be things like meditation, working to build my business, exercising, eating well, reading, and other things. Each month I will choose one or two new things and focus on doing them everyday without fail to create a routine. I find this works well for me.
I will also be using positive and negative motivation to help myself take action. Say I am choosing to do X task every day for a month. I will give myself a reward when I do it and a penalty when I don’t. For now I am working on my blog and on my health. For everyday that I do work on these things I am reward by giving myself an hour to read a novel. The penalty for not working on these things is donating $5 to a political party I dislike. This is a very silly idea but it works for me! I plan on continuing this trend throughout the year.
So that’s my plan on improving my life even more in 2013: empowering habits and positive/negative reinforcement.
– Always stop to think before I blurt out any comments.
– Get serious with active volunteering especially once my intern starts.
– Always keep in mind that humans that I dislike are humans too and that they have feelings just like I do.
– Start texting the people I don’t want to lose regularly.
– Just let love find me on its own. I mean, it just happens.
– Try to control myself and thoughts every now and then
First, I need to get my priorities straight. If I don’t leanr to do this, my undergrad academics will be a mess like this year. I need to know when to stop doing something and when to start doing something.
Second, I need to filter out people who only pose as friends, but actually are working against us behind the back. I need to realize who my REAL friends are, and associate with them in a better way.
For me, the plan is the following as of now.
-Execute things more quickly with right team members
-Put more accountability measure onto the other party and align with myself. If suspect cheat, just send someone who is able to negotiate or withdraw from discussion.
-Do more good deeds with people around the world, (and care for the people that matters to you).
-Seek help and assistance and guidance when I get stuck. There’s many ways into this and I am putting up a step by step blog series in Jan to help educate people to aware of how I deal with financial predicament, business negotiation and breakdown for their own takeaway on how to handle similar problems.
-Start working towards a better 3 years of life ahead of 2013 (setting down if possible, property, financial planning, and do more traveling worldwide with better cashflow and lifestyle)
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