This is question #10 of the Year End Countdown Challenge held in Dec 2012, where we count down to the new year with 13 reflective questions. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Welcome to Day 10 of the 2013 Countdown Challenge! :D
2013 Countdown, Question #10…
The questions for the 13-day, 13-question countdown so far:
- #13: How has your year of 2012 been? | 154 Comments | Post Your Response
- #12: What are 12 things you love about year 2012? | 100 Comments | Post Your Response
- #11: What were your lowest points this year? Why? | 105 Comments | Post Your Response
Today’s question, question #10, is:
[Cont’d from #11] What lessons have you learned from those low points?
Your Task
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers.
Look forward to reading your answers! :)
(After you are done, proceed to #9: What could you have done better this year? (Be honest with yourself))
(Images: Field, Girl Leaning on Tree)
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I have learned from these points that I should join the forces which can change this dirty system.
I have full faith in ANNA and BABA movement, I will certainly donate my full life forthe cause of AAM AADMI PARTY.
When I see Arvind Kezeriwal, the wholw body get charged to do somthing for our great nation.
I love Modi also, only he can save this nation in this trime of crisses.
JAI HIND…..
Trust in yourself and your abilities. Only surround yourself with people who truly believe in you and support you. Stand up to those who constantly try to railroad you and eliminate negative relationships.
1. never ever depend on someone else for your happiness
2. if he is not into you ow, he never will be, wether you get the heaven for them
3 . when you are independent nobody can take you for granted
4. dont trust blindly, remember whatever true colors someone shows you, and in the fututre do not get surprised but rather expect it from them to behave that way
I have learned to never underestimate God. He never gives you anything you can’t handle.
I’ve learned that I’m not a very nice person to boys when I’m in a relationship with them. I can be a bit of a bully but then try to play it off as just being funny or they’re just taking me way too seriously when I’m really just invalidating their feelings. I hate that I did that and I don’t ever want to do it again in the future. I’ve also learned that I have a hard time letting things go and accepting what has happened. Lastly, I’ve learned that I need to figure out how to make myself happy rather than relying on a boy or a relationship to be my happiness.
From my low points this year, I have learned an immense amount. Much of this insight I have gained only from the help of others (especially my friends) helping me see things in a way that I couldn’t myself.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is to not care what others think, although this is also the lesson I find hardest to follow. Whether I’m comparing myself to others, or I’m focusing on what other people want or expect of me, it’s detrimental; I will never be like anyone else, there is always someone better or worse off than you at any given thing anyway, and if I focus on what others want from me, I will never get what I want from myself. What I do may not make everyone happy, but ultimately it is my life and so I have to work on whatever makes me happy. Of course when I say I shouldn’t care what others think, I don’t mean that everyone else’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions are meaningless, but I won’t allow them to have the final say in anything that has to do with my own well-being. If what they say can help me grow, that’s great, but if not I will politely decline their advice.
I’ve learned also that I am alright just as I am. I don’t need to be anyone but myself, I don’t need to be a certain way in order to be happy in life. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all make stupid decisions, sometimes. What defines us is how we overcome challenges, not in being able to avoid them. Without them, how do we grow?
I’ve learned that reaching out can have excellent results. I made so many new friends because I trusted myself enough to talk to people, and took a chance with a few people as well. One of the best friends I’ve made this year is someone I didn’t even think I’d like at first, but after a while we’ve now become close friends and I am so thankful for it.
As for my fears, I’m taking them one at a time. Working on finding myself and growing is helping me in so many ways, I feel like overcoming my fears is just a natural part of the process now.
“What defines us is how we overcome challenges, not in being able to avoid them. Without them, how do we grow?”
I really, really like this point. A lot of what you touched upon in your post are things that I struggle with currently, and I love your insight and your honesty. Where you are now is where I aspire to be in 2013.
Thank you for your post!
To eventually speak up less, not always, but to people whom you know wouldn’t bother listening to what you say. Though, it’s kind of mean, but, I wouldn’t be that hurt.
Not be led by money in life. There is much more things that are needed to be cared for and cherish other than money.
Always keep some back-up money – to be more sensible with money.
That the difficulties of breaking up with the wrong person (twice) eventually pave way for much better, happier things, as long as you stay strong. And that it’s far better to be single than with the wrong person.
Lesson learned:
1. Just asking for help will make all the difference, do not be afraid and you will “grow” to be a better person.
2. When bad things happen, if you tried your best…do not….do not beat yourself up! Forgiveness is key.
3. Learn that friends cannot be replaced, be there for them. Work is not everything. Work will always be there, so it can be dropped.
4. People are inherently good, just once in awhile you will meet “horrible” people to make you be thankful with what you have
“Overall 2012 has been a good year, those low moments are there to remind me that I am only human. They made me appreciate things more and made me a better person.”- Copy & Pasted from Post #11
As I mentioned in #11, the only ‘low point’ I can recall is that I have been blunt towards some of my closest friends and thus hurting their feelings (but we patch things up really quickly, always less than half an hour).
I think the main lesson I learnt is that if I need help in any form, I can just ask my friends and they will (hopefully) understand. The first time I realised I was hurting others through my words unknowingly, I felt rather regretful. I apologised and told her about me being rather blunt most of the times and she understood and was willing to help me to correct this bad habit. The same goes for most of my other friends. Those that didn’t, well, I felt that they weren’t good friends and we eventually ‘broke ties’ (so to speak) later in the year.
I learned recovery is a long road, a lifetime of trying, and I have to take it one day at a time.
I am working on my patience level with family and loved ones.
I think I dealt with the loss of loved ones due to death more healthier than I ever have in the past.
I am trying to change things about myself that I do not like and that I’m sure my boyfriend doesn’t either.
I realized that I love my best friend but sometimes a little time away from each other can diffuse a bad situation.
I am learning that by not sleeping and wallowing in depression, but to get up and be active somewhat, helps a lot.
I want to improve on my sleep habits because I am sure this will help with my depression some.
I have also learned that seeing a psychologist isn’t a horrible thing and I’m going to go into this with an open mind.
From the loss of my father, I learned a couple things.
1. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. I had a chance to go see my Dad and decided not to because the Dr. had given my father a pain killer and pretty much put him to sleep. My father died the next morning.
2. Make sure the people you love know it, without question.
3. You don’t know how long you have, so make your dreams happen today.
From the sale of my house I learned that growth and change are not comfortable, but that is okay. Just because something doesn’t feel good, doesn’t mean tha tit isn’t good for you.
hat I need to listen to and respect my body more
– it’s OK to stop and have time out if you need it rather than push on
– that it is time to seriously work on my diet, weight and exercise, and stress levels
– that I am NOT going to live forever
– that if I had died earlier this year I would have been unhappy with how I had left things
– that in some ways I need to be more selfish and in other ways, less selfish
– that it can be hard to tell which is needed when
– that my husband and children are the most important things in my world
– that I have a lot of work to do to become a better person
– that I need to work on my Emotional Intelligence
– that I struggle with “spirituality” and the concept of a ‘higher power’
– that my husband and I are at a crisis point in our relationship and need to work to re-establish communication
– that I can’t do this for us both – I can only be responsible for myself
– that I need to learn to operate from a position of love and kindness, not depression, anger and hurt
– that I need to focus more on what is good
Be patient.
Work on improving self.
I need to take care of myself.
That life should never be taken for granted!
Lessons learned:
I keep thinking that I should have a PURPOSE IN LIFE and DO SOMETHING THAT MATTERS, only I have not been able to figure out what it is, in part because every time I start to commit to something, even something time-limited and small, something comes up that keeps me from doing it.
More than one person in the medical field has told me that they see lots of marriages fall apart when someone gets as sick as MrB is and that they admire me for sticking with him. That surprised me. Occasionally something that I’ve said about “how we do it” comes back to me as something that others consider useful and valuable in their own relationships.
I finally realized that my purpose at this stage of my life is caring for my husband, that maintaining a good relationship with him is not only a purpose in itself, but that others observe us and may learn from what we do and what we say.
I also realized, during the dark times, that paying at least as much attention to the things in my life that remain good is important. After all, they say that you get more of what you pay attention to, and I don’t want more illness or stress. I made a list of the Good and it lifted my spirits.
I have learned to stay strong and keep going, no matter what other people think or are telling you, others may want you to give up but as long as you stay strong and believe you can achieve anything.
Ultimately, you can count on no one but yourself!!!
Do the work. Don’t put it off. Procrastination is never worth it and just causes a load of unnecessary stress. Focus on one thing at a time, one step at a time.
Don’t panic until you’ve got your facts straight.
My handling the finance for my home, i learned that how much ever money comes, our need or wish to buy things keep going, its ever ending. Hence we need to lead life with much contentment.
Those misunderstanding which i had with my husband make me understand that all these are part of any relationship and it depends how we handle the it and move forward. It all helped me to understand about myself a lot and how i react to every single situation and the manner how i handle it.
I feel really good and happy that i have started understanding about myself a lot and this helps me in taking conscious action in every phase of life. :) :) Becoming more consciousness on mind and health as well.
Looking forward to continue and develop self awareness still more in Year 2013 also :) :) :heart:
I learned to appreciate the people who care about me and that there are some people who are not worth chasing after. Even when everything is said and done I can only do so much. ultiately they have to show that they want to change and in my case he wasn’t interested in changing or in me. but I’m with my boyfriend and I truly appreciate the time we spend together and the comfort he provides. that’s what iv’e gained from this experience
Firstly, I have learned to never leave things to the last minute and always start working on a project as soon as you get it.
Secondly, I learned to never give up easily. Do not keep thinking about selling, just enjoy what you’re doing and the salea will eventually come.
I have learnt that whatever may be the low points in life, it’s essential to pick oneself up and move on, because after I did the same, I had another opportunity to get selected for an excellent Undergrad school, in which I am now thankfully.
I’ve learned that I shouldn’t jeopardize my life because people really do care about me and my well-being. I also learned that if I feel I am in trouble ask for help. In addition, I need to start taking into consideration the consequences of my decisions and make decisions wisely.
a part of me wishes I learned that lesson sooner but sometimes better late than never right
Oops I repeated myself a bit there, all that copying and pasting!
#2013 Countdown day #10
What lessons have you learned from those low points?
I have learned:
That the Internet is not the place for private
Conversations and the importance of passwords.
That it feels good to resist revenge when you’ve been
Wronged.
To appreciate great people while they are in my life.
To value myself and wait before being intimate with
Someone.
The importance of rules and boundaries as a parent.
That although I love my ex he doesn’t really make me
Happy and our patterns are quite strong and unhealthy.
That I can cope with more than I think I can.
That I need to work on my creative goals, I just might
Need a bit of help planning the steps.
The importance of exercise, healthy food and a good
Morning routine in making me happy.
That I need to explore feminism and that being an
Activist is OK.
That sometimes it’s good to highlight problems in the
Moment.
That organising and planning is a weakness of mine
But I have a very organised friend who can help me
With that.
Happy and our patterns are quite strong and unhealthy.
That I can cope with more than I think I can.
That I need to work on my creative goals, I just might
Need a bit of help planning the steps.
The importance of exercise, healthy food and a good
Morning routine in making me happy.
That I need to explore feminism and that being an
Activist is OK.
That sometimes it’s good to highlight problems in the
Moment.
That organising and planning is a weakness of mine
But I have a very organised friend who can help me
With that.
From my miscarriage, I learned that I’m not afraid to be a mother and that maybe that’s the other part/purpose on life. This is what others talk about – the joy of kids & the tribulations – the love that’s greater than no other. From my sudden appendicitis, I learned that life is short – and to trust your body’s signals when you feel pain. From job loss, I learned that’s there’s more to life than work and we all need to win the lotto so we can enjoy that other life while we’re young.
A recent experience of mine..
I had closed myself off of love for years and decided to try again
Problem is I fell for the girl I shouldn’t have fallen for before we even dated
This brings me to my first problem which is that I am too dependent.
Anyway she made real good use of the game if seduction and addiction
Not in a direct manner but very subtle. She wore clothes to parties
That were always sexual. She always uses drugs on parties and
She goes every week. We texted for 2 months and were about to meet
up, when she decided to play games with me again, or at least in my
experience. In her experiece it was just flirting, but she was so much
In control it scared me and turned me on at the same time. The scare and
feelings of hurt because of her sometimes rejections, made me mad and call
her names. After that it was over. I can’t help but wonder how it could have
been. Even now it seems like she can just pull my heart strings.
And if she wanted to kiss me even after all this I’d probably let her
I feel like I am emotional slave of her turns me on but I couldnt handle it
As I browsed through this site I figured out she mist live in a consciousness
of desire. Since her life is built entirely around it. I mean the weakly parties
The sexual clothes, her seductive games that play in on dependency
She knew what she was doing.
I decided it was my fault I called her names and decided to carry all the pain
and guilt associated with what I did and in losing her. Because she also had
A sweet side, but come to think of it, that only was when I did something for
her. So it might just be selfish. Anyways I decied to take the blame on me
Now I just browse to her photos every now and then to hurt myself for losing her
The hardest part about this all is that I never met her in real life and
This will always make me wonder. At some points it just felt so right and
Good. I never experienced it with anyone else.
1. Since the problems come when I’m especially tired, or hungry, or coming down with a cold, I need to pay more attention to my physiological state in order to prevent emotional disturbances.
2. I need to remind myself of all that I have accomplished, and that I AM capable, and that I am loved. Getting enough rest, exercise, and time with my family really helps!
I’ve learnt the following lessons from my lows:
1. Stand up for yourself. Respect yourself. Love yourself.
2. Surround yourself with people who motivate and inspire yourself to do better and wish you well.
3. Seek advice only from these people.
4. Seeking advice does not mean you have to follow it. Following someone’s advice does not mean you are not responsible for it! So be careful whose advice you follow, and once you do, stick to it.
5. Follow your passions- success, money and the rest will automatically follow.
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