This is Day 4 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 4 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is your ideal diet like?“. It was interesting reading your responses. Many of you seem to be in tune with what’s best for your body, which is great! Many of you stressed on a diet that’s filled in nutrition and void of empty calories since the latter does not benefit our body. Many of you are committed to removing unhealthy, junk food from your diet; At the same, a diet with high fruits and vegetables is a common vision across the board.
Ultimately all of us are different and have different needs, so go for the diet that you feel best about. There’s no need to feel compelled on a certain diet just because of what your parents, society, health magazines, or TV say.
If you eat something only to feel bad about it afterward, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, then it’s a cue that it’s probably not the ideal for you. This includes eating junk food on the spur of the moment, then beating yourself up over it or feeling “guilty” about it after that.
While you can argue that it’s a “treat” and you “deserve” it, the point is you yourself already acknowledge the food is bad and feel bad about eating it afterward. This in itself suggests a misalignment in your wants/needs that needs to be worked through, vs. allowing the conflicting behavior to perpetuate.
Either you have a candy bar because you *truly* feel it’s the best thing for your body, or you don’t have that. You can’t be thinking “this candy bar isn’t good” and still have that in your ideal diet. That doesn’t make any sense at all; it’s a contradiction in itself. Ideal means something that’s the highest of it all; something you acknowledge to be the best of the best for yourself.
In the end, your ideal diet should be one which you feel 110% emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually both in the short-run and in the long-run – nothing less than that. By having a clear idea of what your ideal diet is, it brings awareness to what you want to feed your body with. This makes it easier for you to achieve this goal in the long run.
While I have a vision of what my ideal diet is, I’m far from it at the moment – there are times when I go off track with my diet due to emotional eating, lack of my desired food, or circumstances. But the important thing is I always work on getting back on track. Being on your ideal diet may not happen overnight, but the important thing is you move closer towards it, and work on integrating it into your lifestyle, day by day. In time, you realize you are exactly where you want to be.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question! ;)
21DJC Day 4
Today’s question is a fun one – one which involves some imagination and thinking outside of our current framework of time:
If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?
How old would you be 3 years ago? What was happening at that time? What would you say to yourself? And why?
(Today’s question can be found in #21 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Time travel))
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If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?
First, finish graduate studies – masters. I have completed all academic subjects – I was starting on my thesis until the 10-year cap on the course has caught up with me. I never got to finish it.
Second – not to be so trusting of people, even those very close to me – as they have gotten obligations which they can’t pay but which I and my children are paying off. We look forward to finishing the debts by next year.
Never anchor my happiness on other people but on myself!
3 years ago I would be just 19 years old. I would tell myself to:
1) Stop fearing consequences and JUST DO THINGS without worrying
2) Live and enjoy life completely and wholeheartedly
3) Everyday, strive to be the best I can possibly be
Three years ago,I was 16. Unfortunately, the 3rd and the 4th grade of high school ( 16.5 to 18.5 years of age) were….this sounds dramatic, but they were the worst years of my life. There probably were some real, objective reasons, but the worst stuff was how I thought, about world and myself. I don’t really now what years in puberty are supposed to be hardest, but for me it was certainly 16 and 17. I was not seriously, potential health-hazardous depressed, but I was having dark thought, And I was very insecure, uncomfortable in my body, self-conscious and was striving to be liked by the wrong kind of people. I cried…maybe once in every two weeks. I was having bad dreams. And the physical manifestation of it all was gaining almost 50lbs. However, it was still me. I had my good traits. Thinking back, I don’t think I was terribly bad, rather I was just lost. I don’t know what caused that.
Anyway, the consequences are that, after having….well, I never admitted to myself that I had an ED, the thought of it scares me, but the truth is I binged almost everyday. I am still taking baby steps toward being fit – I was at my highest 187lbs in Oct 2009, now I am 173lbs with the BMI of 25.6, I still fight binge eating but I am getting more in control and am feeling better. I still have some insecurities. And as I said, because of trying to impress the wrong crown in high school, I now have one very,very close friend, that I see every couple of days and that’s about it. There are a couple of people I hang out with every now and then, there are a lot of people with which I stop and chat when I meet them on the street, but I don’t really have friends, except my best friend. I am not sorry I parted ways with people I was hanging out before. I am sorry because I didn’t make connections to better people. I’ve been told that I am not a kind of girl who makes a lot of compromises. And I know I am a bit more serious then the others, but that is because I can’t fake it – I am not always in a terrific mood, and I don’t pretend to like things that I don’t really like. And I am not dependent on others, I suppose I come a bit cold and self-sufficient. I admit I need to develope better social skills, but still it’s better to be yourself and have a few friends, than pretend and have many.
Ok, I driffted, a lot. Back on the topic – here is the letter:
Hey! Hi. I know that things aren’t looking very bright now, but it’s just life – there’s nothing to be scared about! You know your values, YOU know you are a good person, you should stop trying to prove yourself in front of others. People how recognize that and who appreciate you for what you are are the ones worth enough to be your friends. On another note, other people are not as sure of themselves as they present to be. There is nothing wrong or abnormal about you. You are not looking at yourself trough clear lenses. You are not ugly. You’re not fat. The world is not as empty as you see it. Girl, your boundaries are mostly in your head. And happiness takes a little. You don’t have to move mountains. Don’t get caught in the ‘normal’ pathways to follow. It’s okay to wander off a little bit. Follow your own instincts. And don’t fool or belittle yourself.There is a trap you’re falling into – loudest, most popular people are not the best people. You need to look past that social status. Cool is not really a value. Being friendly, having something to say, being well-spirited are. Fake it until you make it is not a way to happiness. If you want it summed up: be yourself, appreciate yourself, feed your mind with positive thoughts and surround yourself with people that do the same.
Oh, and the last thing – you’ll get trough :) Whatever you go trough, you WILL find a way past it, and you will be happy and on the right road again :) Just, it would be better to enjoy getting there, wouldn’t it? Hence the advice.
I was reading your post and it make me remember how hard high school can be. I never had many friends, I was the weird one who liked to spend time reading and studying. I tried very hard to fit in, at first I thought it was the way I dressed, then the music I listened to or the way I spoke. Maybe it was because I didn´t drink and go to parties. But I finally realised that I just had to be myself and if people didn´t like it, well, too bad for them. It is not about beeing popular, it is about being happy with who you are, and it can definetely be hard at times.
Now I´m at University and I´ve made a few very good friends, they accept me for who I am and we have a great time together. Looking back I don´t regret anything, pretending being someone you´re not to have a lot of “friends” is not worth it.
3 years ago I was 14 years old. I was very lonely and felt betrayed by my friends. I would tell me to be happy and positive.I didn’t smile enough. Plus get new friends and be yourself.Be more open.Don’t beat yourself up because a boy doesn’t like you.
Basically I’m pretty satisfied with how I handled that year. Especially considering the life events that happened in that year! So there´s actually not that much advice I want to give my former self.
Except for one, big fat advice: Quit smoking now! It’s not that hard! Just see it as starting on something new instead of giving up on something precious….
It’s fun as reading others I realized that I jump started writing one way …i understood “give you advice on a you when travelling…” oups!!! Anyway life is a travel in its own sense.
So another advice I would give myself would be : be more confident, be more opened, dare and you’ll see that things are unfolding and gettin easy. People can trust you.
You’ll manage because you can so try and see.
Life is an exciting trip so goooooooooooo
I would tell myself not to take out so much in private student loans, to apply like crazy to get some money for scholarships, to do an internship, and to go immediately into graduate school since the job market is horrible.
I would tell myself that life gets better and not to be distracted by people who bring me down, no matter how close I once was with them. To stick up for myself, and not care if it means I get emotional. I would continue to say that I should always smile and love myself. That true love comes when you least expect it, but never let the one you love control you.
You will be enlightened, you just have to learn how to let things be. You need to learn to love yourself and accept who you are. Life isn’t about finding yourself as much as it is about creating yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, change it. If you don’t like something about someone else, accept that you can’t change them.
Walk around with your head held high. Know that you can do anything; all it takes is effort and determination.
Read all your textbooks and study the material so it sticks in your head. Don’t just study to pass tests but instead to learn. Find time to read your book every day, schedule it, and never rearrange that.
Smile more and laugh often. Happiness is just around the corner.
I joined Toastmasters this past summer and it’s been great and transforming! I wish I had done it sooner, so that is one thing I would tell myself. I also started blogging about a year ago and I would tell myself to get started back then and that I could use my Toastmasters speeches as blog entries.
I would also warn myself that the change in the U.S. political leadership due to the Presidential election would result in the divisive tea party mindset and that the economy would still be sour.
But if I were going to give myself one sentence worth of advice, it would be “Stop procrastinating!”
It’s sometimes nice to be able to travel back in time…however everyday brings a new vision of life, experience is great and I cherish it. My advice from my past me to my future me would be: take pleasure, enjoy every bit of you trip, stock every smell, every smile, every face, every place in your eyes and in your heart. Breathe deeply in each place you go, manage to listen to local music, take advantage to talk to people you meet, be curious on a normal level, be emotionally opened, be independent and dare asking questions, be spontaneous and do not regret to behave this way. Dare tasting new ways to cook. Manage to go to the market where life still soars. Let the soul of the country, place where you are pervade you. Do not put boundaries where there is no need to be any. Enjoy as much as you can and as much as you want. Be free with your feelings and emotions!
Move on.. He was not worth it …
I would tell myself:
To pick my friends more carefully
To live more in every moment
Not to be so strict with myself
3 years ago means when I was 16 well there is so much to tell the old me.
I would say: be daring and get rid of your shyness, use your youth your time , be more active and espacially think well before taking any decision and never do something you are not convinced with!!
Well i would love to go back in time when I was Five that would be nice but today i think that if i would go back 3 years ago when I was 15 i would say to myself to see The Secret, not wander what other think about me, talk to them without thinking about what i was going to say first and be happy about everything that i did, years go to fast to be sad about stuff things are the way they are, it’s the way we react to them that ca be changed :).
If I were to travel back in time to three years ago I would advise myself to just do it! You already know enough, more than enough, more than most other people attempting to do what you’re trying to do. So just do it! Do it now! Right now! You can continue to learn, explore, discover as you go. Just get started. The ONLY way you can fail at your project is to NOT START!
Do I remember where I was three years ago?
I do, but I have been sleepwalking and my memory of myself is also getting fainter.
Am I the wisest person around? Do I have all the answers somewhere inside?
I think yes, but this is a semi-mystical question!
Do I know more now than I did 3 years ago? What did I learn in the meanwhile?
I know more about the workplace. I know it is important to upgrade your technical skills. It looks difficult, but if you look at the long run, it is both easy and necessary.
Did I make any mistakes that I could avoid?
No mistakes other than not living life; and even now I am confused about what I want.
Would I teach me something?
Yes! A few technical things that help you to get ahead in my (technical) career and also tons of sundry items like communication skills and getting better at table-tennis.
[As an aside, Celes’ questions are getting more difficult, but I think I am at the same time getting better at expressing myself. :clap: ]
This question really made me think!! Three years ago I was 15 and about to spend a whole year in a foreign country. Now I´m 18, starting my university studies… time goes by so fast!
I would tell myself:
– To be patient and try not to rush things. Things will happen when the right time comes.
– To follow my heart in my decisions, but also to be rational. To think carefully before I make a decision and make sure I´ll be able to deal with the consequences.
– I would tell myself that hard work doesn´t always bring you to where you want to be, but that the journey is always worth it, so no matter what happens you should never ever give up. Cry if you need it and then get back to work.
– To look at the big picture.
– To make sure I´m around the right people, because people can hurt you, even though those you thought were your friends.
– Organize yourself better.
– Soccer isn´t for you Sara!!
– And to study harder for that first mathematics exam of the year 2010 please because a scholarship depended on it!!!!
I wouldn´t change any of the decisions I made in those three years, some things could have been done differently, that´s for sure, but all those experiences helped me and gave me new perspectives on life.
I forgot one: To find the Personal Excellence Blog sooner!!!
Three years ago I was in the position of advancing my career to a managerial level. All of the usual thoughts running through my head about whether I would be up to the challenge, and whether my skills were at the right level. At the same time I was telling those around me that I was looking forward to the challenge, confident I would do a good job etc.
Essentially, my outer voice was projecting confidence and excitement, whilst the inner voice that we all have was questioning myself and my abilities. Subsequently I have been very successful in this role over the past 3 years and am looking to progress further. The advice I would give myself to avoid some of the large amount of stress this caused, is to assess the reality of the situation; objectively look at the skills and abilities I have; and remember what I do not know, I will learn as I further develop my skills. For goodness sake, believe In yourself.
This question is challenging one for me because I know a future one is how well I am following this advice.
My self advice would have been, and still is, “take more action.” “Follow up the great advice and good intentions with action.”
As I write answers and read other people’s responses, I am happy about what I have accomplished, BUT I could accomplish so much more.
C, thanks for this challenge and this question!!!
Three years ago I was 15 years old and had just gotten into highschool.
This was when the worst period in my entire life started… Not because of bullying or anything of the sort but because I fell in love for the first time with a guy that became the reason I suffered like I had never suffered before for 3 years.
So the advice I would give to myself if I went back into the past would be:
– Never abandon your childhood friends because you’re to busy paying attention to new friendships (which I unintentionally did…)
– If you have to choose between the guy that has loved you for more than ten years unconditionally (thou he never officially confessed he had no problem showing what he felt) and a guy you had a sudden passion for but criticizes everything you do, say or think the whole time choose, if you have any need to, the guy that always treated you right and made you happy for years and that, unlike the other one, never made you feel like crap! “Little Me”… Believe me. I know what I’m talking about.
– Listen to older people when they tell you “Men should do the love confession”
– If for any reason (like being infatuated with that guy) you can’t stop thinking about him, take a few deep breaths spend time with your friends and make sure that when you’re home you don’t spend your whole time fighting of a deep depression by reading B.D. in the internet and make something more productive like acquiring the habit of studying everyday (reeeealy wished I had done this one…).
– Don’t think too much about the window in your room. Killing yourself off was never a good solution to any problem. I’m glad I can tell you that idea will only cross your mind once and you will never have any intention of really doing it.
– Last but not least, if you are already in the spiral of self-hatred and depression I found myself at that time, let me tell you that even thou right now the world looks like it has lost all it’s meaning this period of your life will only last for 3 years and when you finish High school not only will you be able to enter the best Art College in your country you’ll also be dating the guy that you feel in love with but this time he will be treating you like a real princess, complimenting you the whole time and begging you in tears not to leave him when you calmly suggested it might be best for you both to just be friends and go your separate ways after Highschool.
Now that I have written this… part of me wished I could really go back in time, hug my younger self and tell her everything would be alright…
Oh well, right now my life is awesome so I guess this was just a bump in the road =) Thankfully I’m a positive person overall and I know, after going through that ordeal that I can face a lot of crap. I also learned the importance of distancing myself from people who suck away your whole energy by criticizing you (even if they say they do it for your own good!) One thing my mother told me once and with which I completely agree is: “1 compliment is worth 100 critics”.
I think that i would tell myself to be more consistant, to not be afraid to try new things.
To be grateful for what i have.
To take life one day or even one moment at a time.
Pray for god’s wisdom and knowledge of his will for me.
Some advice I would have given myself 3 years ago would include:
Put some savings aside…even if it’s just $10 from every paycheck.
Make sure to spend as much time with your family as possible…enjoy life…with them & on your own when you’re by yourself.
Don’t save every little thing you’re not using anymore…throw it out or donate it.
Make sure you get plenty of rest every night.
Drink more water.
Don’t hold onto anger…you won’t remember 3 years from now why you were angry.
Spend more time pursuing things that make you happy.
Dear Self:
Please try to smile a little more so you dont get those frown lines. There are so many beautiful things in this world to smile about. No one cares how clean your house is, but your kids care how much time you spend with them. Please try and do more things that you get joy from. There may come a time when you do not have the time to enjoy them. Please save all of the money that you can. Just because you have a dollar does not always mean you have to spend it. SAVE IT, it will be worth it in the end. Be a little selfish every now and then and learn how to say no to people. Do not wear yourself out by giving so much to other people you don’t have any time left for yourself or your family. Lastly, enjoy every single moment of your life, your family, and your friends.
3 years ago I was 30.
I would tell myself: “let that relationship go! She is holding you back and killing your creativity!”.
Then I would tell myself that going back to school is the best thing for me and to not worry because I got in and love it!
I would tell myself to keep painting, no matter what, let nothing stand in my way. And then I’d give myself a hug and a pat on the back for a job well done! :)
oh this is a fun question!
well off the top of my head i’d say that your not being true to your self and to stop trying to be someone that your simply not. however back then i really didn’t know who i was and was just trying out different circles and venues. i would also tell myself that if you cant be completely relaxed around your friends because you were afraid of being judged then they really aren’t your true friends. hmmm… oh ya i’d definitely tell myself to try and relax more and to start living in the now and stop worrying about finding a soul mate, making a retirement plan or going back to college. just live in the now, be yourself, and have fun! and i would really emphasize the be your self part by not being afraid to listen to your inner tuition.
Three years ago, I was 21. I had just come back from a study exchange programme to Switzerland, and was feeling great – having made great friends there and gained eye-opening experiences.
Although I was happy, in hindsight now, I was myopic and in a way, sleep walking my life away.
I studied for the sake of, to get good grades and graduate university with good honours. I achieved this in the end, but was lost as to what to do with my life once i graduated from school.
If I could give advice to my 21 year old self, it’ll be to reflect more about my life journey as a whole and look where I am going instead of just going through the motions, even though going through the motions was and feels like the right thing to do, I should have been more reflective, be more passionate about and taken charge of my life more.
I would also tell my 21 year old self, to cherish and pay attention to the loved ones in my life more… Love your parents, love your grandparents, treasure your loved ones and be there for them. We are so busy growing up that we often forget that they are growing old.
Now at 24, i want to stop sleepwalking, and am trying to find my feet and take charge of my life and live it to the fullest. With the help of this blog and all of you here of course :) but it’s not been an easy journey so far, and sometimes i feel myself paralysed with fear one moment & super excited the next when thinking about pursuing my passions in life.
I want to continue on my journey of self awareness and discovery, to live life my best life and pursue it with open mind and heart; unafraid. And constantly cherish my family and loved ones. :)
If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?
Three years ago I was 48! God I had fun on my 50th Birthday. It was wild – I loved it! Growing old is mandatory – Growing up is a choice!
The very first thing that came to my mind when I read this was “ Stay out of the line of fire” in family disputes. Wish I could change back time on that one. I am not sure what difference it may have made to the present day situation but it could not have hurt. I became too involved and while the price is lowering, I do feel I’ve paid a hefty price for becoming too involved even though my intentions were the best at that time.
There are some relationships I wish I had backed away from earlier and some I wish I had pushed harder to understand and keep. I let go when I should have held on and I held on when I should have let go. I wish I had seen then, what I see now. I would have made a few different decisions! Having said that, Life is too short for regret and I have learned and grown. I am stronger, more independent and I hold a greater sense of who I am because of all the decisions I have made!
Physically, I wish I had given up ball earlier. One year in the difference of a major injury that I have to live with forever now. The game I played that night was not worth it. If I could go back Three Years I would say – Don’t go to the game Terrye, it’s time to step down! Ahh well, ouch…
Three years ago I wish I had started a great habit that I only started 8 months ago. If I had started this habit three years ago – Holy Cow! It’s a good habit, it’s paying me back well so if I can keep it up and I sure hope too, then three years from this date I will be real glad I kept it up!
*** Very sad thought that three years ago I would have been 47 and not much has changed with me internally. I don’t have any great habits I have built into my routine; I did quit smoking so I guess that is something. And I have a new grandson which is wonderful.
I guess I would tell myself to be kinder to “me”, more compassionate. Take the time to do things that make me say, “Mmmmmm, that was really good for me” (my therapist gave me this one.. not an original of mine). I would tell myself to take the time to take care of my health, my back issues and stick with them. I would tell myself to Trust ME more, and Trust THEM less. Believe in myself.
I would try to find a way to show me, three years ago, that nothing changes in three years because I did not put any effort into making changes… which means three years from now, it will not be any better. They will not come out with a miracle pill to lose weight, although I see some results in others who are on anti-depression meds.. I am not far from that arena … but that is not a healthy way to do it.
I have to eat right and I have to move this body before it cannot longer move!
Three years ago, I was stressed and working too much. I was unsure about my work and wanted a change of career. Looking back, all the actions I’ve taken have been positive and I would not change anything. My adivce would only be to activate and change things faster. Some things that come to mind, in no particular order:
1. Keep on reading and learning. Continue with your professional development
2. At work: Delegate more and don’t think you can achieve all on your own. Don’t take too much on your shoulders. Trust your team
3. Focus, don’t keep long to-do list, focus on the more important things
4. Development is not only professional – personal development is important ; invest in yourself
5. Look for CelestineChua.com – three years back, I was already having questions about my life and
my future. Celes’ blog has greatly helped me to find my path, specially with the 30DLBL
5. Stop reading and thinking, start acting on what you learn
6. You only have one body and investing time for your health is vital – eat healthy and lose weight
7. Meditate daily
8. Declutter and simplify your life
Well said Ish !
Wow, if I could go back 3 years the number 1 advice that I would give myself would be quit smoking cigarettes because they are harmful and will give you health problems. Second, you should not let your limiting self-beliefs sabotage your confidence and well-being. Third, dude watch what you eat and exercise because the older you get the easier it is to notice. Lastly, I would tell myself to press on and persist through life, I am not dead yet only stronger. So why not take a risk and make all your dreams become a reality? The world is your canvass Hector, start creating your masterpiece NOW and start believing it will become true. Remember Hector if not NOW , then when?
The funny things is three years ago was when I started college so you can imagine the advice I’d give myself then. Its a funny feeling looking back and seeing the kind of things I would do differently. I’d probably take some of my early classes later on and some of the classes like college success as soon as I got to college. I would also encourage myself to find time i can work out and train like I do now. I’d probably tell myself to read the books that I do now, 365 Tao, Everyday Tao, pick up the Tae Kwon Do reference books I bought myself, read The Alchemist. I’d also encourage myself to focus on spending less. Granted I’m at a point in my life where I can enjoy having a social life more so I don’t want to be a miser about it but maybe consider small things: do i really need to get that snack, do i need to have this game right away? Granted a lot of the ideas I did seem good at the time when it came to my well being but I don’t think I had to rush myself to buy trinkets and toys I could go without.
Another main thing I want to encourage my 18 year old self is get into drawing. I’d probably tell myself its not as hard as i think, that I can develop the skills need to improve and that I will gain so much from the experience. I’d probably start practicing early and frequently and take the time to buy new sketch books when i’m close to running out.
I’d also want to encourage myself that I can get through the tough times. There were a lot of things i could’ve avoided if were given the chance but even then I know I grew from them. I can see that I have friends I can open up to and it wouldn’t hurt to be honest with them. I’d also tell myself not to go on a hiatus with friends like I did. Just continue spending time with them is important too. There are a lot of things that I want to tell myself and I know that I would be able to gain a lot from it. It may take a while for it to click but I know it will ;)
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