Ask Celes – Have You Ever Lost Motivation During Your Journey?

by Celes on Sep 23, 2011 | Email This Post Email This Post

Hi Celes. Throughout your blogging/writing/personal development career in the past few years, have there been times when you are tired and running out of ideas from what you’re doing?

How did you overcome them and how did you motivate yourself again?

So for example, I love what I’m doing right now, but there are just times when I need to break myself from it – like having a day or two off those activities, usually when I’m running out of ideas and/or feeling tedious from repeating the same thing (lack of excitement after doing it for a while).

Thanks! – Nicholas

Hi Nicholas! :) It would appear there are 2 parts to your first question – (a) Whether I’ve ever lost motivation (b) Whether I’ve ever ran out of ideas for my work.

To answer (b) first, no I’ve never ran out of ideas – In fact I was just telling a fellow reader today that I’ve too many ideas and not enough hands/time/resources to execute all of them!

As a result, what I do is I often prioritize – focusing on my big rocks (things that are the most important) and the 20% high value tasks (the things that make the most difference in achieving my big rocks). In doing so, it has helped me continuously gain clarity on the things that matter and the things that don’t, so it’s a great personal growth lesson.

For some out-of-the-box methods to generate new ideas, you might find 25 Brainstorming Techniques useful.

On (a) whether I’ve ever lost motivation / felt tired in the course of my journey, actually yes – there have been a handful of times when that happened, though more so at the beginning of my journey than now. And not really lost motivation per se, but more like a feeling of disheartenment.

It wasn’t for the reason which most might think though – it had nothing to do with whether I was getting results or not getting results. One, I never felt that I wasn’t achieving results – everything pretty much progressed in line with what I had planned, if not better. Two, I always see the results (or lack of thereof) as a function of our efforts. If we aren’t getting the results we seek (yet), it’s only but a cue for us to revise our strategy and actions accordingly. When you keep working on something (and adapt your actions in accordance with your results), it’s a matter of time before you achieve your goal. I cover that extensively the Successful Goal Achievement: ESPER series.

My points of disheartenment (in the past) came from not feeling appreciated for my work or feeling like my work was in vain.

For example, there were times when I would work my butt off on a certain project/article, but get (what I felt was) unsupportive feedback.

A case in point was when I first released Personal Excellence Book last year. PEBook is meant as a compilation of the best-of classics at the blog, which readers can purchase (a) as a handy tool to pursue their growth and (b) to support the blog at the same time. I remember I had a reader argue about the price of the book and that it wasn’t worth the price because some of the articles were already offered via the free ebooks on the blog. Personally, I found it somewhat depressing because I had set the price after much consideration and ensuring the book was well its worth. At that point, I didn’t understand why it had to boil down to quantifying the book’s worth in such granularity.

Another time was when I first released Live a Better Life in 30 Days Program (paid version) last year, after intensively working on it for several weeks. It was my second paid product on PE, after 2 years of running the blog. When I shared that purchase of 30DLBL was necessary to attend the Dec ’10 30DLBL run (since it was based on the new program), some readers said it was unfair that I was charging money. They felt I should make it free and let everyone participate, even though (a) it was/is a full fledged program which I spent a lot of time and effort creating (b) I have to dedicate my time to run and moderate the challenge and attend to participants’ needs – like a full-time job. Similar programs like this out there would easily cost hundreds to thousands of dollars; but because I had been/still am giving so much of myself for free at PE, I felt I was expected to keep doing that and never ever charge for anything I do (in which case I didn’t see how I was ever going to earn any semblance of an income from my work).

I would also feel disheartened in the past, when I dedicated my whole self to running challenges (be it past 30DLBL runs, MDC, or 21DHL), but encountered participants who chose to give up mid-way / drop out during the challenge. I often felt quite frustrated during those times. Short of flying over to the countries they live in, knock on their doors and get them to log onto the computers/daily tasks and work on them, I never knew what exactly I should/could do to help them on their goals. Sometimes I felt like I was more invested in others’ growth than others were, which was a somewhat bizarre situation to be in.

In short, because I was giving so much of myself (here at PE), I couldn’t help but feel that many people often took me/my efforts for granted. That I would forever be here doing this regardless of whether anyone paid any heed to me/my efforts or not. While none of these sentiments have ever changed my intention to pursue what I was/am doing for the rest of my life (it is after all what I had set as my life purpose), I still felt pretty disheartened during those times. It inevitably led to wondering why I was even doing all of this to begin with, and to what end I was doing it for.

In the end, what eventually helped me break out of the sentiment was when I questioned the source of the emotion. I realized my on/off disheartenment often hinged on my readers’ reactions (or non-reactions in this case). Somehow, I had subconsciously expected my readers to fulfill a certain role in my passion pursuit – be it to respond to what I write, to share supportive feedback, and/or to work on their life/growth.

But when I drilled down into this expectation, I realized it was naught. Totally naught. I realized I had no right and no place to expect anyone, not even the readers at PE, to ever do anything. I realized the only thing I could ever do is to relentlessly pursue my passion to grow and help others grow. Whether others want to work on their growth would be their choice and their decision to make.

When I realized that, I gained peace with myself, and in a way, my passion. Since then, I’ve focused solely on pursuing my passion as best as I can, without expecting anything back from the world or my readers.

I’m happy to say that this has given me a lot of new found joy (I was previously happy; but since then I became even happier). It has also released the pressure off my readers from having to fulfill anything at all – hence allowing them to come into their own, if you ask me.

I believe that when we focus more on the things we can effect vs. the things outside of our control, we are able to achieve more of what we want. To the point where we adopt 100% internal locus of control, we gain 100% control of our reality.

So for example, I love what I’m doing right now, but there are just times when I need to break myself from it – like having a day or two off those activities, usually when I’m running out of ideas and/or feeling tedious from repeating the same thing (lack of excitement after doing it for a while).

I think it sounds like a matter of developing an empowering routine, where you create a strategic routine that empowers you.

It’s not practical to expect yourself to work on the same thing continuously with the same burst of energy, since we are creatures of growth. Doing the same thing endlessly = Repetition and stagnancy = Weariness to our minds/hearts/souls. This is where varying what we do is important.

It’s also not practical to expect yourself to work non-stop on anything at all, since we’re not robots at the end of the day. This is where taking breaks is important – in Habit 2 of 8 Habits of Highly Effective People, I raised the importance of allocating strategic breaks.

So an example of an empowering routine: Day 1 – (Morning) Work on Project A; (Afternoon) Work on Project C; (Evening) Meet-up with long-time friends. Day 2 – (Morning) Work on Project B; (Afternoon) Read some books; (Evening) Rest/Alone time. Day 3 – (Morning) Attend a networking event; (Afternoon) Do some long-term planning for business; (Evening) Work on Project A. And so on and so forth.

The point is to keep doing the tasks that excite you the most at the current moment, so you’re forever tapping into your inner source.

The following articles will be helpful:

This is part of the Ask Celes section. If you have a question to ask me, proceed to the Ask Celes page. Check out past Ask Celes questions here.

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Filed in: About Celes, Emotional Mastery, Motivation & Inspiration, Passion & Dreams | Written by + on Sep 23, 2011
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  • http://avene.org Glenn

    Hi Celes, I think it’s normal that very few of the people who sign up to your challenges will be able to complete them. It’s clearly not your fault, and it’s not that they’re not making the effort either. When you put on one of these challenges, it would be easier for you because it’s an extension of what you already do. You already coach people, write blog posts and do what you teach.

    For other people though, it might not be as simple when writing blog comments and completing all the tasks aren’t a part of their routine. They may work all day, have to pick the kids up from school, cook dinner and clean the house. What free time they have remaining may not may

    • http://avene.org Glenn

      Oops, accidentally hit submit trying to delete that last word. That will teach me to stop reply to blog posts on my phone! Let me continue..

      As I was saying, what free time they have remaining may not be enough to complete the daily task, or they may be too tired from all they have done throughout the day. But if those people who do drop out of the challenge for whatever reason do actually implement just one or two new habits, your job is done Celes! And that’s something you should be proud of. Pointing them in the right direction is all you need to do.

      It would be the same as me trying to tell someone they should be eating more fruit, eating more veggies and so on because I care about their health. I’ve been guilty of this in the past I confess, but the best option is to just set a positive example, provide whatever information I can and then let them make their own decision. Much like what happened during the 30DHL when I was eating mostly raw. That’s just something I was doing for myself, but others such as yourself and Xena starting eating more raw food too.

      So yes, definitely no need to worry about about people not completing any asks during the challenges! Just making them aware of ways they can improve their lives should be more than enough :)

      • http://personalexcellence.co/blog/ Celes

        Aw, thanks Glenn! :D You’re so sweet and I appreciate your kind words. :hug: Yes, I absolutely agree with you. This was the same conclusion I arrived at when I realized that it wasn’t up to me to decide/expect them to do X or Y things as a result of what I do at the blog. Ultimately I’m really happy enough to even have the chance to influence (anyone’s, really) their lives. And I consider it an honor that they expose themselves to my writings. I see this as my opening to make a positive impact/change, and what I can do is to just share my best stuff and put my best food forward in making a change, as you said. The rest is up to them, and I’ll respect their decisions/actions, whatever they are.

        Though I’ve to point out that while some may assume that it’s easy for me to do what I do because my challenges/blogging/etc are a part of my work, I’ve to argue that it’s not really true. For example, I’ve my other agendas and goals in life too, such as when I was running 30BBM when I was travelling. There were many days when I just stayed up late or didn’t sleep at all just to finish writing the tasks. Or days when I was transiting/traveling on the bus/train and thinking about the next task to write. I also have other commitments such as to my friends and family. These are things I didn’t talk about because I don’t see the point in mentioning them. My coaching sessions are also separate from the challenges and an additional arm in my business. It just appears (if it does to anyone) to be easy because I’ve consciously made it work out.

        I think it’s about making the time to pursue the goals we pledge and living true to our goals. People who really want to make things happen will make them happen, whereas those who don’t will keep coming with reasons or excuses. I’m not saying people should not sleep or sacrifice themselves in pursuit their goals of course – that’s more about improving one’s level of self-management/time-management (which I’m constantly working on). At the end of the day it’s a matter of choice though – what’s important to us – growing / achieving our personal visions/goals or the Q3/Q4 things that keep coming up in life? When we make the conscious choice (whatever it is), that’s when we take ownership over our lives and increase our internal locus of control.

        • http://avene.org Glenn

          Thanks for the long reply and fixing my typo Celes :)

          Just to clarify, I wasn’t implying that any of what you do is easy whilst travelling and all, but easier for you than it would be for anyone in any other profession. A wedding photographer for example would probably struggle putting together a similar 30 day challenge focusing on wedding photography techniques if he or she had no prior experience in training or teaching people, writing and blogging. But give that person the task of photographing 30 weddings in a month whilst travelling and I’m sure they could do it if that’s something they’re passionate about, and providing they had enough time to get to all the weddings.

  • http://sylkwan.blogspot.com Shiroh

    Celes, your are gift from heaven :D and I mean it! It is just some of the reasons why we come here is just the reason we might not be able to complete the tasks as you set out. It has nothing to do with not appreciating your efforts.

    You have done so much for me and my personal growth. Slowly by slowly we shall get there!

    • http://personalexcellence.co/blog/ Celes

      Shiroh, thank you – you’re a sweetheart. I’m glad that you’ve found the blog/writings useful in your growth. Please keep reading – I’ll continue to share myself openly and authentically on the blog. *hugs*

  • Bob

    Hi Celes,
    I think what Glen pointed out was very true. As Jim Rohn says “Life is a numbers game”. Even if all your courses were fee paying you would still have percentages of groups that range from participating fully to vitually zero because of time and/or other pressures. I find it relates to Timing, Patterns, Quality, Ratio and Quantity. With time you can calculate the numbers and how they apply to you.

    • http://personalexcellence.co/blog/ Celes

      Thank you Bob for your kind words. :D You’re right – I did realize at a point that it wasn’t really about not appreciating my efforts – even if it was a paid course costing hundreds or thousands, there would still/always be drop-outs. It was an important learning lesson for me to focus on my message and let everything take care of itself, vs. expecting a certain result/output from participants, because that wasn’t in my place to do that.