This is Day 3 of the 15-Day Affirmation Challenge held in July 2014, where we practice positive affirmations for 15 days. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Dear everyone, welcome to Day 3 of our 15-Day Affirmation Challenge! :D While we had 380 participants yesterday, we are at the 410-participant mark today!! :D
Here is the overview of all the posts for the challenge so far:
- Affirmation Challenge announcement and signup details: 15-Day Affirmation Challenge | 410 Participants!
- Affirmation Challenge Day 1 [New Beginning] | 42 Comments
- Affirmation Challenge Day 2 [Self-Love] | 12 Comments
Uh… Hello? Where’s Everyone??
Here’s something interesting that I’ve observed — while we have over 410 participants in the challenge (and more if we include lurkers), there has been a remarkably low proportion of people sharing their results in the comments section!
For example, yesterday’s task on self-love only has 12 participants sharing their results (and these 12 participants — Vivian, Samuel, ASLO, Sarah, Jun Xiang, VickiB, Kae, etc. — have all shared very beautiful revelations that I encourage you to read), even though we have over 410 people participating!! Where are the other 398 of you?!?! O_O Hello? *looks around*
Wait, I get it:
- Perhaps some of you are busy and you have only allocated a minute or two to glance through each day’s task, before moving on to your next to-do.
- Perhaps some of you have done the tasks but are too shy to share your results.
- Perhaps some of you lost interest in the challenge, decided that it’s not going to work for you (maybe the affirmations are too “positive” or too “far off” from your current place in life), and decided to drop out.
Whatever the reason, it’s totally understandable.
But… hey. Didn’t we all sign up for the challenge a week ago (upon the announcement of the challenge) and pledge ourselves to this challenge? Didn’t we agree to give this challenge a go and see what’s going to come out of it for us at the end of the 15 days? Didn’t we implicitly agree to put our best foot forward by virtue of signing up? After all, some of us have been stuck in our comfort zones for a while, repeating the same routine day after day, and perhaps we thought, Hey, this 15-day affirmation challenge may just be the right “kick” I need to move me in the right direction. I’m going to sign up and see where it brings me!
You know, honestly speaking, I’m just more than happy that you’re here reading PE and checking out these affirmation tasks, whether as an official participant or not. While I’m dedicating a good chunk of my day every day just to run this challenge (e.g. yesterday I cut short a meeting and rushed home just to finish up the blog post for Day 2; today I was out running errands for my house moving, skipped my appointment to view my wedding photos/videos (Ken did so on our behalf), and rushed home again to write the affirmation task for today), I’m doing this because I want to. Just like with the free articles I write on PE, I want to be here to support you to practise affirmations and make the right change in your life.
However, I can’t do much if you don’t step out, do the tasks, and share your results with the rest of us in the community! This challenge is designed with all of you in mind, so when I get few to nobody sharing, it’s hard for me to get a sense on what’s happening at your side of the world, and as such plan the next task. (Yes, I do dynamically create the challenge based on how everyone’s experiences at the moment, so every challenge I’ve run so far — Live a Better Life in 30 Days, Be a Better Me in 30 Days, gratitude challenge, kindness challenge, healthy living challenge, etc. — has basically always been designed around you guys!) It’s like I’m groping around in the dark and trying to aim for the bull’s-eye when I don’t even know where the dartboard is. I have no idea who’s doing (or not doing) that day’s task, how his/her experience is with the task, and what help he/she needs if any.
Regardless of whether there’s going to be 100 or 0 people commenting/sharing in the subsequent tasks, I’ll still be here running this challenge, meticulously planning and writing each day’s task, creating the affirmation wallpapers, and posting each day’s post within the day — rain or shine. Even if there are 0 people commenting for the remaining 13 days of the challenge, I’ll still be here, turning up every day, till the last day of the challenge.
But I do sincerely hope that…
- …for those of you lurking in the shadows, that you can step out to officially sign up for the challenge.
- …for those of you who have signed up for the challenge but are just reading the posts passively, to take a few minutes of your day to just do the tasks that I have meticulously thought through and mapped out for you. Even if you may be skeptical of them, it doesn’t hurt to just take a few minutes to try something out, something new, for yourself.
- …for those of you who are doing the tasks duly but are resisting sharing your results for whatever reason, to just take a tiny step and share some of your results (however little, however much) in the comments section, just so that others can learn from your experience.
- …and for those of you who have been sharing your results openly or even blogging about them (thank you and thank you!!!), to check out a couple other participants’ answers and to offer a word of advice, support, or just a pat in the back for a job well done to them, where appropriate.
…because when you do that, you don’t just help the other participants or myself; you’re really helping yourself to learn, grow, and become better — precisely what you desired when you signed up for the challenge.
I also hope that none of you take the challenges at PE or my efforts for granted, because it takes quite a lot of work to run a challenge (much less of a high-quality one, AND at a scale of several hundred participants), and I’m not charging for any of this or earning a single dime from my work here. The challenge tasks don’t just magically pop out by themselves every day — I’m working hard in the background every day to make them happen, including taking time away from my personal life (e.g. my own free time, time spent with my husband Ken, time spent in house moving) and also putting on hold other projects that I can be doing (say, running a new course) since I’ve blocked out the next two weeks of July specially for the affirmation challenge.
Okay, enough with all this mambo-jumbo!!! This is probably the first and last time I’m going to appeal to you to actively participate in this challenge, as it’s not in my place/interest to push anyone to do things especially if it’s out of his/her interest/comfort zone. Whatever will happen will happen, and I’m always ready to make the best out of any situation that happens.
Now, let’s move to today’s task! Today is Day 3, and we’re looking at…
Day 3: [Ability]
![Affirmation Wallpaper, [Ability]: “I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”](https://personalexcellence.co/files/affirmation-ability.jpg)
Today’s affirmation: “I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
How many times have you said, “I can’t do this,” even before you tried something?
I’m sure you have. I have as well.
The words, “I can’t,” are incredibly powerful and dangerous. If you have listened to my interview on BFM 89.9 last month on How Your Language Affects Your Success, you would know that I cited “I can’t” as one of the top five self-limiting statements that people make, along with “I won’t” and “I don’t know how.” When people say “I can’t,” it either suggests that they have a low sense of self-perceived ability, or simply a lack of willingness to try something (i.e. close-mindedness).
It really doesn’t matter if you say “I can’t” to small mundane things. For example, yesterday I was grocery shopping and I wanted to buy beverages for the household. However, I decided that they’re too heavy for me to carry home (since I had two full baskets full of grocery), so I thought, I can’t carry them home, and decided to get them in my next trip instead. It’s also okay if you say “I can’t” to things that you don’t believe in or things that you don’t want to do (i.e. learning to say no).
Where the issue of saying “I can’t” surfaces is when you say it to the important things: the things that matter, such as your biggest goals and dreams. Imagine the following:
I can’t achieve my dreams. They are too big for me. I best settle with what I have today.
I can’t blog (say, if your goal is to run a successful blog based on your passion). I don’t know how to blog and I’m not good at writing anyway.
I can’t quit this job I hate. It’s my iron rice bowl. There’s nothing else that I can do.
I can’t lose my excess weight. I’ve tried before and I just gain everything back. I’m doomed not to have a healthy body.
… and so on and so forth. Statements like these, they literally serve as the foundation for more negative, self-limiting, and self-defeating thoughts to harvest. When your thoughts affect your actions thereby affecting your results, you can be sure that thinking “I can’t” will almost always create a self-fulfilling prophecy. In a world where there are already enough challenges to live our dream life, do we really need to stand in our way to realize our own goals and dreams?
The truth is that you have all the power you need to achieve your goals and dreams, whether you believe it or not. The very fact that you have the ability to conjure up the goal/dream IN YOUR MIND is already the very evidence that you can realize it — otherwise, why would it even appear in your mind??? The universe allowed for this thought to manifest because it knows that you have the capability to MAKE IT HAPPEN. And in order to do that, you have to first get rid of those self-limiting thoughts, believe in yourself, and then take the subsequent steps to make it happen.
Today, your task is to clear your self-limiting belief(s) in a goal/dream and identify steps to make it happen. Let’s get started! :D
Your Task Today
- Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently. For example:
- Weight loss: I can’t lose weight.
- Family: I can’t improve my relationship with my parents.
- Studies: I can’t achieve straight-As.
- Quitting bad habits: I can’t quit smoking.
- Eating habits: I can’t stop emotional eating.
- Others: I can’t succeed in [XXX] goal.
- Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream. For example:
- Say you want to quit smoking but you haven’t been able to. Your self-limiting beliefs may be:
- “I can’t stop smoking because I’ve tried too many times but failed.”
- “Smoking helps me to relieve stress, so I need it in my life. I’ll continue to smoke whenever I feel stressed up because it makes me feel good.”
- Say you want to quit smoking but you haven’t been able to. Your self-limiting beliefs may be:
- Change this self-limiting belief(s). Continuing the smoking example above, the new empowering belief(s) can be:
- “It doesn’t matter how many times I fail smoking; what matters is that I learn from each relapse. I will identify the root causes of my smoking addiction and address them one at a time.”
- “I have been using smoking as a stress reliever, so I need to find a different way to cope with my stress. This way, I’ll stop being reliant on smoking to relieve stress, because it really doesn’t — it makes me more stressed instead in the long run.”
- Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream. Include deadlines where applicable. For example:
- Check out internet and library resources on how to quit smoking (Today)
- Seek out quit-smoking groups (such as Nicotine Anonymous) and join them to get group support (This Friday)
- Identify the root causes of my smoking and address them one at a time (Ongoing)
- Say your new belief(s), along with today’s affirmation:
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
(If you think it’s silly to say them out loud, you can say them silently in your heart.)
I encourage you to write down your new belief(s) and today’s affirmation so that you can always see them and commit them to your heart. Repeat them every day to yourself, for as many times and as long as needed, until they become part of your default thinking.
Affirmation Wallpaper: [Ability]
Today’s affirmation wallpaper, for download:
Download (right click and save): [1366×768] [1600×900] [1920×1080]
Further Reading
I’ve written tons of material on achieving goals and cultivating positive habits on PE. Here are some material in reference to the goals I mentioned in today’s task:
- Weight loss:
- Family: How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents (series)
- Studies: How To Be a Dean’s Lister (series)
- Quitting bad habits:
- Overcoming stress eating:
- How I Overcame Emotional Eating (series)
Share Your Results!
Share your results, check out other participants’ responses, and interact with each other in the comments section! Remember, this challenge is a community effort: by openly engaging in the discussion, not only will you help others, you’ll also help yourself.
If you think today’s affirmation has benefited you, do share it with your friends and family.
Once you’re done, proceed to Day 4 here: Affirmation Challenge, Day 4 [Setbacks]
(Images: Flower, Hot air balloon)
![Is It Too Late to Pursue My Dreams? [Video]](https://personalexcellence.co/files/video-is-it-too-late-400x267.jpg)
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Oh my goodness language does affect
your success. I went easy on
myself on my third half marathon. I told
myself that it is ok to walk and take breaks.
I also did awareness activities and gratitude’s on my run and I ran the
whole race and I beat my last PR by ten
mins. I feel like all of the examples that you used. I feel like I cannot lose weight, write a good blog, get a new job, I cant achieve my dreams. Lately, I have come to realize that im afraid of change. It is scarey too me. I lost my mom to cancer and a friend as well. Life scared me. I wanted to be safe. I wanted to settle down. After that I gained weight, I did not go back to school and I stopped exercising. All of that including healthy living is what I love but I went the opposite direction. I want to be a wellness coach, I want to own a house, I want to lose 40 pounds, I want to run a marathon, I want to not have anxiety, I want to empower others and blog well. I have to make long term and short term goals. The short term goals help me except the change even though its positive. Last to go to PE to help me become positive.
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
Sorry Celestine Chua I disappeared but I am back now. I don’t want to start things and not finish them anymore so I will catch up and keep it up with the rest this community. I wanted to write daily too but it’s not easy and your daily tasks are making it easier. I would just have to do these and that’s it. I don’t share everything but I will share what I am comfortable with for now. I have been writing the whole day. I am still not done, It’s day 4 today. One more after after this.
1. Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently.
* My dreams scare the heck out of me. I have some invention ideas that give me small tiny clues over the years since they first appear to me as a kid.
* Academically. I am on probation now. My goal is to be on the Dean’s List. Spooky considering GPA is less than 2.0.
* Goals: I plan things and start them but never finished them. Example this challenge. I registered early but didn’t do anything. I read the tasks but didn’t act on them. I was busy but that’s not an excuse. Celestine, you have a life too, I am sure you’re busier than me. I am single I have nobody to care for in addition to me. If you can do it I can too.
2. Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream.
– I feel like my dreams are ridiculously bigger than me. That is my limit. And the clues don’t come at once so when will I be able to do them and I don’t even know how to start or where to start. All I have are ideas. I have been thinking about it, and thought maybe I should go beg rich people then I realize I was running away from me personally doing it. I have to save for it then ask for help if I need it not ask for help before I know what I am capable of. I am a cashier so there is no way I can pull it off this way so I decided to use my skills and get extra income for my dreams. I can solve other people’s problems and protect them from cyber treats. They teach you how to do that for free online. Also I was wondering if I were to suddenly lose my job at the time when people were getting fired. How I would survive if I don’t get a job right away if I get fired too? It’s hard to get a job. I was unemployed for about a year before i got the cashier job now. Then Some homeless people gave me another idea. There are some homeless people who pick bottles and come to my store to refund them. If you bring 240 bottles or cans you get $12. 240 are the limit. I could do that in different stores for a day to fund my dreams on the side. I am learning how to hack, legally, “white hat” so I can fund my crazy dreams. I also can save a title of my pay. And never touch until I am ready for “project 1”. I have 4.One crazier than the next.
– I repeat classes I failed so many times before I get A or B or C. The limit is 3 times. I am stuck with a lousy grade for Calculus 2. Time is up.
– I have so many things I am interested in. I tell myself to focus on one thing. But I see something else and get hooked and my goals keep growing in number and I get a few done and the rest they scare the living out of me because there are so many of them.
3. Change this self-limiting belief(s).
-I have nothing to worry about, God gave me those ideas and someday He will show me the way to make them all happen. All I have to do is jot them down when they appear. i forgot one because I didn’t write it down. It’s a pain trying to remember it. I think It’s gone forever to where it came from.
-My big sister told me I am persistent, that helped. So long as i don’t give up. I will make my dream come true. I took Calculus 1 got got a D and retook it and passed with a B. I can see myself on that Dean’s List now.
-I have to stick to the things I started. I noticed that I can’t stick to one thing. I tried so many times so I am doing a few things daily and often until I am used to them or done with them.
4. Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream.
-All I can do for the crazy ideas is jot them down (doing it) and save money for them (next step).
-A classmate showed me how to study engineering easily and I have Celestine Chua’s “How To Be a Dean’s Lister”. My way of studying was not working no matter how much time I put into it. Later I asked a classmate how they study and I got “At the end of each chapter, print, study and practice the Summary, Review, and Sample Questions 3 times” I did it 9 to 10 times each. And My grades started to improve and I started to believe that I too can be on the Dean’s List. I will.
-For example, this challenge, because I didn’t do it all from day one I almost gave up today because there are many tasks to write on. But I say to myself that I made a promise to myself to finish a goal so I am still writing. I have to finish what I start or they will add up and beat me up later. Like they are doing today. I am glad it’s early what if i started on day 10 or 14? So I am 3 days late and I will be on time today for day 4.
5. Say your new belief(s), along with today’s affirmation:
– Jot my ideas down and save $ for them starting now.
– I can be on the Dean’s list because I have the “How To Be a Dean’s Lister” by Celestine Chua and the easy way to study engineering. It’s easy I have the tools I need to follow!
– No matter what finish what I started.
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
Hi Educate Yourself, KUDOS to you for returning to the challenge!!!
100% YES. Like I mentioned in the dean’s lister series, the first step is to aim to be the best, which includes having the BELIEF that you can achieve the goal.
You’re doing an amazing job by turning up for this challenge and now doing (and sharing!!) the tasks! I can’t wait to see how the other 10 days of the challenge unfold for you!
Thank you for your time. I wasn’t expecting you to answer me.
I can’t wait to see the end result as well!
It’s challenging responding to everyone since there are so many comments and each comment is quite voluminous in content (plus I have other tasks to do in the day and the affirmation task post to write too), but I do my best to respond as many as I can with my available time. I look forward to reading more from you! (By the way, Day 6’s task has a shoutout to you; you’ll know when you read the post.)
I have been waiting for day 6 since yesterday. But couldn’t see it then I had to leave for work. Because of the time difference your yesterday is my today I noticed while doing day 4 on the 11th then I saw day 5 at around 7 pm. I am in New York.
PS: You don’t have to respond you know. You have so much to do already but I appreciate it, I know the community does as well. So Thanks! You have more people than most my college professors. They don’t answer all of us. They use “Plazza” online for us to help each other out if we have questions. So It’s great that you’re making time for us. I will try not to be long.
Hi Educate Yourself!! By “I will try not to be long,” I’m not sure if you’re referring to trying not to write long answers in response to my previous comment on comments being voluminous — if so, please don’t! I love seeing all of you sharing so openly, authentically, and freely, and part of that includes long, thought-out responses. Please continue to share as much (or as little) as you want, in your personal capacity. I really appreciate you being a part of this community! (By the way, I was in New York in 2011, and love it!!)
PS: Day 5 is supposed to be on the 11th actually; Day 6 on the 12th, and Day 7 on the 13th. Because I posted Day 1’s task later in the day during the first day of the challenge, I’ve been posting the subsequent posts approximately 24 hours later so as to maintain the same pacing. With the break day today (14th), I plan to correct the timing and post subsequent tasks during morning Singapore hours, which would be evening New York hours. (This means that you’ll be seeing the tasks in advance each day.)
I meant I won’t be writing the tasks too long. But I realized that would be a lie because I tried trimming Day 7 and it was still long. So I apologize for the lie and thanks for allowing it!
I am only starting to enjoy New York now. I will never make work my main thing, to do. It was depressing. Now I am enjoying everything.
I was wondering about the time difference since yesterday and today I finally checked. I am late! It won’t happen again. I thought I had time. As always, I was last minute. Singapore has 12 hours ahead of us. Now I know :) Don’t change your schedule. I will make time. You’re the teacher, I am the student. I have to make the time. You’re doing too much lady! Thanks though.
Don’t even worry about it!! No clear-cut lines on when is “late” and when “isn’t” for this challenge, especially since everyone is in a different timezone and I didn’t start this challenge on the 1st of the month (usually I do that but I didn’t for this one), so the dates can get a bit blurry. :D The most important thing is that you do the tasks in your own space/time, share the results, and engage the other participants (which you are doing everything, amazingly too might I add!!). I’m so happy to have you as part of the challenge (and of course everyone else too)!! :)
Thanks I am happy to be here too. I have known you for years, I was taking more communication courses in college at the time. I needed to communicate. And I saw one of your list online by accident, that was when I stopped taking classes outside my curriculum and joined Toastmasters. As far as I knew toast master was related to food, I thought it was a master of bread toast which was weird to me. I am glad I am finally taking action with you. You started this. Thank you for that list!
Correction for “Plazza” it’s “Piazza.”
You forgot “Perhaps you are busy or don’t have access to Internet and are doing these tasks a few days later” ;)
1. Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently.
“I can’t get a well-paying job I love.”
2. Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream.
“I can’t get a well-paying job I love because there aren’t enough to go around and everyone else always has more experience.”
“I can’t get a well-paying job I love because the interview procedures are incompatible with my personality and they always ask for odd skills that I think aren’t even relevant! While completely ignoring my unique talents.”
3. Change this self-limiting belief(s).
“There are plenty of jobs out there. Otherwise you wouldn’t have 10 different recruitment agencies and 10 different jobseeking websites.”
“Recruitment agencies want to and will help me.”
“Right now a lot of people have just graduated so the job market is temporarily flooded with jobseekers.”
“I can always learn more and be a better candidate.”
“I can slowly learn what to expect at interviews and prepare better answers.”
“I can point out my unique talents if they don’t specifically ask for it.”
4. Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream.
I will call the recruitment agency who emailed me today.
I will find other agencies to call.
I will continue learning. Possibly pick up C#/.NET which seems to have lots of jobs going.
I will prepare answers to possible interview questions before attending.
Samuel you mentioned nothing never works for you. The fundamental is eating less and exercising more.
Hi Vivian! I believe Samuel’s key issue is emotional eating, which I can totally empathize as I used to be a heavy emotional eater. Despite serious attempts to have a healthy diet and exercise to lose weight, I wasn’t able to for many years — and then I realized the root of the issue was my stress eating. It’s hard to explain if someone isn’t a stress eater, but it’s sort of like being caged with strong compulsions to eat (especially during situations of stress or uncomfortable emotions) and seemingly no way out of it.
I’ve since overcome this issue, wrote an emotional eating series detailing my past eating issues, and created a one-stop program to overcome emotional eating. Samuel is on the right track in learning to identify his food beliefs and breaking them, and his recent revelations about eating to fill voids in his life is also going to help in addressing his issue. Sam, you’re doing fabulous work in addressing your eating triggers and working through your EE problem — I look forward to seeing your further insights throughout this challenge!
Celes, Thanks for making comments for this. My intention is to share to Samuel, but I believe your encouragement is more powerful.
Samuel, I can’t access your blog due to it’s been blocked. I will follow you on PE, and look forward to seeing your progress. You can make it!
Hey Vivian, all the encouragement you are posting to the participants is very powerful. You are being such a great beacon of light in this challenge; I can’t help but smile with joy whenever I see your comment replies to the others! :)
Hey Vivian, thank you for taking the time and effort to comment on my (and everyone else’s) posts. I appreciate your intention to share, but unfortunately I don’t know if Disqus (the service handling PE’s comments) allows for private messaging. Anyway, I wish you all the best for your progress in this challenge as well!
Hi Samuel! I don’t believe that Disqus allows for private messaging. You are welcome to exchange emails and contact each other offline though!
Hey Celes, thank you for all your invaluable information about EE in your articles in the blog. I am getting deeper and deeper every day, and the causes are all internal indeed! I suspect that the ultimate root cause and solution is nothing more than a simple, yet profound change in perspective.
I forgot to mention that this week I was taking a dance training and working at the same time so I was a follower doing the activities on my computer and promising each evening that I would post my comments……In fact at the end of the day I was so tired I just couldn’t. Anyway I’ll catch up.
Here are my comments for the 1st day :
Since I’ve
failed in the past to overcome difficulties in love relationship I won’t try it
again.
Since I’ve
been down when dancing I won’t be able to dance.
Since I
believe I’m bad in maths and in selling myself I’m not going to do it again.
I may have
tried and failed in overcoming difficulties in love relationship but so have
many lovers! All of us make mistakes, and it’s the mistakes that make us stronger
and wiser.
I may have
tried and failed dancing but so have many dancers! All of us make mistakes that
make us stronger and wiser.
I may have
tried and failed in math and in selling myself but so have many people who
started doing something! All of us make mistakes that make us stronger and
wiser. I’m going to keep on learning by reading books and consulting people who
have set up businesses before, so that I can get the right knowledge and skills
to succeed in any endeavour!
Saying these positive affirmations have enabled me to surpass myself. At the end of the 1st
day of the dance training my body was aching and I felt miserable. Reading your
affirmations for day 1 & 2 has helped me to see things differently: feel
more confident, believe that I’m able. I’ve been dancing and had great
pleasure. I’m proud of myself. I could look at me in the mirror being less
critical, I enjoyed the moment, I accepted that mistakes are part of the path.
Julie, that’s fabulous!! I’m proud of YOU for learning to see things differently! We can be the heaviest self-critics sometimes. Always remember that you have your unique set of strengths, qualities, and talents that makes you YOU — focus on these and celebrate them.
I think I use I can’t many a times. I sometimes use it for self-deprecating humor. If someone praises me in superlative, especially if they ascribe potential to me beyond my current capabilities, I shrug it off by laughing and saying, “ha, ha, now I can’t do that”. These days, however, I’m trying to just smile and accept any compliment gracefully, without objecting or discounting it.
However, there are a few other beliefs that lead me to limit myself. E.g. I’ve never danced for most of my life. I’ve had the interest but I never did anything about it. For 1.5 years now I’ve been attending dance classes though and trying to dance. I’ve been attending classes alongside many other folks who’ve been dancing for many more years. I was extremely inflexible (body-wise) when I started (a little better now but still quite inflexible). And I would think I can’t do this stretch, I can’t do that move, that I’m just not flexible enough.
However, what I realized was that, saying “I can’t” kept me from even trying to get better. At the class if I was asked to try something that required a certain kind of flexibility, I would just tell the teacher I couldn’t do it, because I just wasn’t flexible, and she would change my task to a simpler one.
But the body doesn’t know guile. It’s just a true reflection of how you’ve treated it (unless one has had an unfortunate accident). It just remembers things you’ve taught. It doesn’t know how to lie. And the good thing is that it’s always a child. You can always teach it. It might initially plead disinterest. But a little bit of persistence and a little more of love (self-love, day 2 :)) and it should listen and get into a better set of habits.
I would like to work on getting myself into better shape. I’ve identified a set of exercises that would help me overcome my key flexibility and strength problems. I will do them each morning. It’ll take time. Nothing worthwhile ever happens in a jiffy. But it’ll be a wonderful journey. I can take my body to any level I set my heart to.
I have to be honest, I did #3 task first than the one from day #2. Why because yesterday I was literally about to finish my rpg video game demo which I’ve been working on every day for 2 hours or more for a month now!! I was so excited and then I saw the title of the Challenge and that was enough to make me compromise, I just need ot fix 2 or 3 remaining bugs and I’m DONE!! My goal yesterday was to simply finish the demo yesterday and I went on an excited working frenzy for about 4 hours non-stop and I made it..
I finished my demo! I didn’t even finish reading this article, I just skipped to the action step because I knew in my heart that if there’s anything I believed I could do was finish that demo yesterday. Even though they were 4 long hours it felt like I was so alive. I’m incorporating the scripts of my novels to the video game and I realized I seriously love writing stories. It doesn’t matter to me in what format, what way, I just love it plus I recently discovered my passion for programming thanks to all the video game programming that has been done. I’ve realized blogging ins’t for me. I was denying my real passion for story writing because I was afraid. I thought blogging would be easier to gain a public but it just wasn’t my passion. My love is in my novels.
I decided to do task #2 of self love today (which today is technically task #4 but I’ll do it today too. Yesterday I felt like I couldn’t show self-love to myself yet. My mind was set on writing that demo, so on this task it rain straight in line with my goal. I’ll write in day 2 task as soon as I can access a computer again how I decided to show self-love to myself after a long month of working on my demo and also of dealing with the obstacle of my next obstacle which is a second demo for another story which I’m interested to incorporate into a video game but which I’ve been restricting from doing so out of fear, but I’ll enter into detals of that on comments of task #4.
This has been as far one of my favorite challenges so far!! :) It’s true what some people say, we touch some really personal things every day but if you really dig deep the results are amazing!
About today’s questions I already knew the answers automatically. here are the answers. The goal I was blocking was finishing my goal. Even while working every day I had been reducing my hours this week because I was frustrated, I just wanted to finish but I arrived from College so tired so I kept posponing the deadline. My self limiting belief was that I was tired, it was so frustrating that bugs kept popping out and the editing of small details was such a pain, I loved doing it but it was still hard to keep on and not give up.
Me new self-limiting belief yesterday was simply I”ll finish TODAY and I did :) My action step was immediatly dedicating the whole day to wrap everything up once and for all.
I share the thoughts of some our participants, i missed the day one and two tasks and wrote about them today. I enjoy learning about life and understanding one’s self – so why should i not continue with the Affirmation challenge ! I have grown big in the past few years and have gained so much weight – I have started to do things to be fit and this time i have something inside me supporting me in taking care. I wish for more strength – I will do it.
Hi Celes, thanks for posting another day worth of powerful messages! So glad to be mentioned in your post! Here’s my summary for the task today:
Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently.
– I can’t communicate and express myself well to others.
Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream.
– I can’t express myself as I am afraid of my friends would judge what I say or what I do and most of the time I would follow try to fit in to their personality.
Change this self-limiting belief(s).
– It doesn’t matter how my friends judge me for what I say or what I do. In order to gain genuine friends, I will express my concerns to my friends
Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream.
– Stepping out of my comfort zone and sharing life stories.
– Get active and join a few sports to gain more common interests.
– Start of by caring and communicating to my family members.
– Communicate with random strangers with my own personality.
And Finally,
I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.
Jun Xiang, i used to do this. Some learnings:1feel fake when I can’t express myself fully2 have impact on other area of mylife and work , too care what others think3impact on productivity, because i want to maintain my image 4 real friend doesn’t care the words you said,they care your heart and how you feel.
Wow Vivian, Thanks for the amazing replies you have provided me. I’ve read your comments and it’s really awesome to see you helping so many others and your posts that motivates me daily to post more as well. Thank you!
A goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently:
I need to get everything in order to be happy.
Self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream:
I need to have everything in place and in order to be happy.
Change this self-limiting belief:
Life is always going to be a work in progress. There’s always going to be a “better.” I need to be mindful of the present and focus on what is here and now. My happiness is not fully dependent on having everything right (though I can’t be happy if everything’s wrong!). Focus on what I have already and keep improving.
Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream:
Make a couple lists of what I already have in my life, what I want to have to be happier. Evaluate the first list and see if I can be happy with what I already have. Then evaluate the second list to see what I can do to improve, and whether I can let go some of those blind pursuits.
Say your new belief(s), along with today’s affirmation:
There’s no point seeking to have everything in order. The green lights will never line up straight. Focus on what I have and what I can do. Keep improving, but I can start to be happier now.
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
Vicki,I wish your husband will be better soon. Have you tried MOOC, which combines lots of course from the Universities? May work for you, only need access to internet and free, you also can get certificate. I believe i am a life long learner as well. We can learn everything with the open heart to learn.
Vivian, thank you for your suggestion of MOOC. I believe that FutureLearn is similar, being a group of universities offering free courses via the internet, and you can get a certificate.
Also thanks for the wishes regarding my husband. He is 63, and has had type I diabetes for 46 years. He also has heart disease and kidney failure, and a good many other problems. He is in a wheelchair most of the time, and uses a walker sometimes. He cannot walk even a few steps anymore without support. It may sound like he doesn’t have much hope of getting better — but he has surprised people before, including the doctors. He had bypass surgery and was in intensive care for less than 12 hours, and was discharged on the sixth day… they said he would have to have his foot amputated but he didn’t … they said he probably would not live to be sixty and he did…
Vicki, Thanks for your trust to share this to us. I heard a term big relationship with himself, both you and your husband are strong. And your support and accompany must be reason for him to continue. Another feeling i want to let you know, you is the reason for him.and his love to you is another reason. I tried hard on the words as nonative English speaker. Hope my intentioncan be crossed. wish you both in peace and happiness.
Yes, your intention did come across. Thank you! I know that his love for me and my love and support for him have helped him exceed the limitations that others have placed on him. He is an inspiration to me to not let obstacles stop me from doing things that I really want.
Hi everyone. Todays challenge is another deeply personal one for me. I am going to focus on my weight and look at what happened in my past and the beliefs that I have developed while growing up. I know that my issues are not related to what I eat as I have had nutritional advise and I exercise most days of the week. I am going to try a cognitive behavior therapy trick and challenge my negative thoughts that I have around food in writing. I have used this technique previously with good results.
Having said all of that I need to be a bit more focused with saying the affirmations. It can be a bit of a struggle to do especially when busy at work…still every bit counts!
Hi Kae! It seems like quite a few participants have weight struggles (and in relation, dietary struggles), and I can really empathize as I used to have them too as detailed in my body image and emotional eating series.
I was wondering, what is the weight “issue” you’re talking about (e.g. difficulty in gaining weight? losing weight?) and do you know the root of this issue (e.g. is it an eating issue)? If it’s a stress eating issue, I’m not sure if you’ve read my emotional eating series — I believe it’ll really help to draw insights on (stress) eating behavior and some of its roots.
Hi Celes, I too noticed that there were lots of other people with weight issues. I think that the problem had many angles. In the past (most likely since teenage years)I have suffered from depression (which with professional help have gotten past) and do still suffer from some anxiety and a whole bunch of issues growing up.
I have read the articles on emotional eating and they were a great help. They helped me to get in touch with deeper aspect of who I am. I am going read the article again. I am a believer of re-reading books and articles because you never know what you might discover that was missed the first time. ;-)
1. Identify a goal or dream that you are blocking yourself in currently:
I am having difficulty becoming a healthy eater. I keep eating and normal food doesn’t seem to satisfy me. All my past attempts didn’t work.
2. Identify your self limiting belief(s) in this goal.
A. My mother keeps sabotaging me by buying snacks and too much food home, and I cannot resist.
B. Nothing ever works for me. What works for other people will never work for me.
C. I’m stuck and no progress seems to be made.
3. Change this self limiting beliefs.
A. My mother isn’t buying snacks for me deliberately; she simply cannot help it because it is a matter of habit for her and she is expressing love for me through buying these food. I can accept her love without accepting the food. Turning down the food does not mean I am declining her love – people turn down food all the time and no one feels offended because they turn it down politely. So I will easily be able to decline the food by 1) eliminating the relevant beliefs that cause me to see the food as desirable and 2) learning to decline politely.
B. All my past attempts tackled the symptoms of the problems like the eating behaviour itself, the environment etc. I didn’t tackle the root cause before which was that I was fundamentally unhappy. So of course the attempts didn’t work. By tackling the root cause I can get rid of this problem.
C. See above.
4. Identify action steps you are going to take.
-Every time I get (unnecessarily) triggered by some food, write down the beliefs that could have caused this and eliminate them when I have the time.
-Learn to decline food politely.
-Find an activity that makes me happy.
5. Say your new belief(s), along with today’s affirmation:
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
http://samuelimyongen.wordpress.com/2014/07/10/affirmation-challenge-day-3/
My goal is to be a published author someday. I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo in conjunction with this, so my results reflect the current goal of a 15k short story. Here is my result for Day 3 from my blog post:
“One way my friends and I are getting ourselves to work on our Camp
projects is to assign Generic Writing Prompts to our group as a whole.
We then tell each other how we incorporated the prompt into our piece.
I’ve recently finished up describing part of the house. In an effort
to tackle my goal of 15k, via a sound-bite, I’m going to introduce my
main character and just focus on him.
Instead of taking people’s observations of what they see as failures
to be just that, observations of failure, I’m going to use them as the
rubrik of how I actually do things and maybe I’ll finally accomplish
something. Mom said I live my life in sound-bites so a novel was a pipe
dream. Rather than be discouraged, I will do exactly that. Write in
sound-bites and tackle my novel one mouthful at a time.
:0)”
You can read the whole post here: http://dementeddelights.tumblr.com/post/91331068608/affirmation-day-3
For a long time I’ve been struggling with my fitness and nutrition goals. I’ve been telling myself that
I can’t get fit because I’ve tried many times to start exercising and have kept giving up on it after a few days, or I can’t eat healthy because the options are confusing/overwhelming,
and my house is usually full of unhealthy options, which causes me to
keep slipping back into old habits.
But in changing my thoughts, I am choosing to tell myself that no matter how many times I fail, I have the choice to start again, and be better this time. I will educate myself on the choices available and choose the best
option for myself. I will select healthier choices for myself and
discourage others in my family from buying unhealthy food options. I
will work on my self discipline to be able to make good choices even if
there are unhealthy options at home.
I’ve written a bit more here if anyone would like to read: http://hopeafterheartbreak.blogspot.com/2014/07/15-day-affirmation-challenge-day-3.html :)
P.S. It’s been wonderful reading everyone’s comments! I can see similarities between many of us, and it’s great to know that we’re not alone and are among others who are striving to make positive changes in our lives :)
Alia, happy to hear that. I believe life is about choice, and we can choose. Choose to do, or not to do things. We always have choices.
As I have previously mentioned, I have been preparing for NET JRF. The syllabus is too vast and a thorough conceptual understanding is required. Sometimes I feel disappointed at the progress.
“The syllabus is just too vast.”
“There is no enough time for me”
“It requires a thorough conceptual understanding, the inclination to which I don’t have.”
Even if the syllabus is too vast. I have more than enough time to cover it. I have already given this exam a few times earlier. Most of the syllabus has been already covered. There is nothing which cannot be developed. Conceptual understanding can be developed.
My action plan for the above stated limiting beliefs is
1. Start with keeping the end in mind
2. Utilize each and every minute of the day for study
3. Focus on few tasks, but do it fully to prevent getting overwhelmed
4. Develop a concrete plan for understanding the concepts
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.” (My favourite affirmation. Just love it!)
Hi Celes! The affirmations have been really inspiring so far! I’ve been journaling about them but not posting comments since I usually go to bed pretty late! But today, let’s see – I’ve decided that I say “I can’t” to bettering my health way too often. “I don’t have time to work out” “I don’t have access to healthy food all the time” and so on. This applies to a few things in my life as well, but currently my health is a pretty big goal so I decided to focus on this today.
So today I decided to take my “I can’t”s and focus on what I CAN do: I can do small things every day that are good for my health. Today I decided that I would look up calorie info for lunch and find a healthy place to go, I’d workout for at LEAST 15 minutes, and I would get off the computer by 10pm and do yoga, journaling, and my meditation. Well, today I ate lots of fruit, had a healthy salad for a late lunch/early dinner, listened to by body when it said to stop eating a piece of cake that distributed for an employees birthday, and I’m soon to get off the computer. I didn’t end up working out, but I do yoga for at least 20 minutes almost every night so I’ll count that as a double challenge that I can do today! I’m trying to be gentle with myself and listen to myself every day! :) That’s my update for today!
Hey Celes, first I have to tell you that one of my fav. Email folders “The personal excellence blog” ;) . I keep all your articles/newsletters there to get back and read for more motivation since years . So, what you’re really doing is really inspring and helpful for me and I’m sure for many people as well … thank you is not enough, REALLY!
And also I want to point out that this is the first time to join a community … as an introvert I didn’t like to get involve in any discussions … observing any process without sharing was better for me “as I thought” untill I started to feel that I didn’t feel comfortable around people at all and that was the warning alarm for me that I’m turning into an antisocial person not just an introvert. For those who doesn’t share their experience or their daily tasks and “just observing” I advise them –> please don’t do this to your self … I’ve been there and it’s totally unhealthy.You have to join and get to know people and their different experiences , because it will expand your self growth.
About today’s task, I always discourage myself when it comes to any “artistic creativity” and go mad saying “I can’t do it”. And that’s because I love to create professional art with a very high quality. Therefore, I will change “I can’t do it” into “simplicity is the key”. I will try to take baby steps and keep everything simple to achieve a good quality and stop chasing perfection … I won’t reach it anyways And will also keep developing and growing.
Hi Sarah, thanks so much for your kind words!! :) I really appreciate it. I think it’s really amazing that you are here sharing your results so openly as someone who didn’t like to get involved in any discussion before (I wouldn’t have guessed!)!! So thank you so much for having the courage to step out, participate in this challenge, and share your results so earnestly.
Totally agree with the importance of baby steps — it’s also the key lesson that I was advocating in my new year’s resolutions interview on CNA this year. Chasing perfection is okay (it means you have high ideals), but don’t let that create an “all-or-nothing” mindset because that’d defeat the purpose of having high ideals! Sarah, I don’t know you but I believe you have it in you, so don’t ever think otherwise!
I missed on the Day1 and Day2 tasks… But I am in today… :)
Day3:
Goal – Handle annoying people
Self limiting beliefs in this goal –
1. I cant speak harshly or for that matter in a way due to which I will be hurting others emotions.
2. I think of future and feel that this is a small world and our roads may cross over again.
3. I never have the boss feeling.
4. Most of the time I try to ignore the point and this keeps on piling in my mind and hurts me more rather than the one who was has to be the ideal sufferer.
Change this self limiting beliefs:
1. I can handle people like these. I meet them each day and need to spend more time with them actively. (Here I mean, comapred to the quality time I spend with my family). So I cant limit myself of facing these people anymore. I may face people like these at any given workplace I go. So I need to find way to handle them more efficiently and keeping my principles intact.
Action Step:
1. Stop avoiding people like these. The more I face them, the more I learn how to handle them.
2. Start replying them in clear way and avoid piling up of such thoughts with me.
3. Start reframing the same message which I need to convey in a much different manner. We can also call this approach as diplomatic approach.
4. Stop taking the actions others perform too personally. Even tough the opposite person is wrong, I need to find a way to convince him/her of the correct approach.
My today’s affirmation#3:
I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.
This challenge is indeed a very nice platform to start working on yourself with a gentle push from mentor, eventually helping you somewhere…. :)
On another blog, the Fluent Self (www.fluentself.com), they encourage the use of “proxies” when
writing about personal issues. One reason is because those issues can trigger so much anxiety that it’s hard to think about it. Another is so that you don’t have to share things that you’d rather not. I wrote there about needing help to pick up “smelly old gym socks” when what I needed was help with a task that involved telephoning some disagreeable people… talking to these people upset me a great deal and what I wrote was that I needed help because the smell made me sick.
Doing something like that might help people feel more comfortable posting about personal issues for this challenge.
*
A goal that I am blocked on is taking classes. I am a strong advocate of lifelong learning and continuing education. I have a master’s degree in my field plus coursework towards the PhD, and I teach adult education classes. I have a goal for myself of continuing to learn; I sign up for classes, and then don’t complete them. I’ve reached the point where I think that it’s no use to sign up for classes because I can’t complete them.
The self-limiting belief is that I can’t do classes plus all the other things that I have to do. It’s true that there are other things that are a higher priority for me – such as taking care of my husband, who has serious health problems.
It is not true that I can’t do classes and handle my other responsibilities. It is true that the way I’ve tried hasn’t worked. That is, taking evening classes doesn’t seem to work. But my reason for taking classes, my real goal, is to continue learning. That means that I need to find other ways to seek knowledge.
Action steps:
1. FutureLearn, the free university-level non-credit courses. Try classes there, to see if this form of teaching/learning works better than traditional classes. One benefit is that I would be able to work at my own pace and at the times that are best for me. Which means, among other things, that I can sit at the hospital and participate in class via posting on the forums.
2. Do internet research to explore in depth topics that are of interest to me. I don’t
necessarily have to have a class to learn things!
3. Try to find groups of people with interests that I share. E.g. Latin American literature – there’s a reading group here in town. If I have to miss a meeting, it’s not the same as missing a class, and I would get to learn new things and hear different perspectives. Are there other groups I could join?
*
If I were using a proxy for this, I might write about wanting to bake cupcakes, but the oven only works part of the time and I end up throwing out a lot of half-baked cupcakes…. Some steps to take might be to find a friend who has a reliable oven, and to look for recipes for microwave cupcakes, and to ask around for an oven repairman…
*
I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it. I can continue to learn because I have set my heart on it. I don’t need to be in a class to learn; there are other ways, and I can find them.
For me, the goal, the dream I have doubts about is my financial independence. I want to make money by doing what I want to do on my own time. I want to see my passions and values be the driving force behind the work I do. I want the freedom that comes with being your own boss. Not gonna lie, I’m heavily inspired by Celes — the maker of this challenge. It’s her life and accomplishments that have made me consider that I want a life like hers, too!
While I don’t explicitly tell myself “I can’t,” I have plenty of nagging thoughts behind this goal:
-I don’t have enough good ideas (or conversely, “What if I can’t create a focus?”
-I feel like what I want to do has been done before
-I feel like I have nothing new to share
-I’m afraid what I’ll do is too similar to X/Y/Z
-I want to be open about myself and my ideas, but I’m afraid of what others will think
-I don’t think I have enough experience
So now for the hard part: reframing these beliefs to be positive instead!
-As I learn more and more about myself and what I’m passionate about, I’ll come up with more and more ideas to try out. There may or may not be a true “focus” to what I do, but that doesn’t need to be a bad thing.
-Even if what I want to do has been done before, that doesn’t mean I can’t do it differently/better/with my own insights to offer.
-Even if what I’m sharing isn’t “new,” there’s always new ways to share and present things. The uniqueness of my own voice and presentation is important enough in its own right. Besides, most likely I will have something new to add!
-I don’t necessarily have to be open about myself and my ideas right away — that can always come later, or not at all.
-The only way to get experience is to get out there and try.
My next action steps will be as follows:
1) Take time to think if there’s any other root cause of my hesitation to go after my goal, and if so, figure out a new line of thought
2) Continue my course on Android App development that I’ve been putting off
3) Identify my true passions and values — then brainstorm how to work them into my own independent creation!
This is a summary of what can be found on my blog, here: http://hackmyheart.com/affirmation-challenge-day-3/
Calae, I just love your statement that “The uniqueness of my own voice and presentation is important enough in its own right.” That is the key right there!
Thank you, Susan! =)
Calae, For something new part. In fact, lots of lessens we learned from life been learned by our parents already, because the mother law never changed. In China, we have Tao Che Chi which over 2500 years, and we have wisdom in Bible, and both still inspire peope to be good.
Well done everyone who’s working on this challenge! I share the concern of others in that I am very careful about what I post-nothing too personal and nothing which I’m not happy for the whole world to know. So even though I blog, I never put out anything too personal or that I wouldn’t be happy for my father or a potential employer to read. For that reason, the examples I’ve given are of relatively small things (although they are important to me!). But that doesn’t mean they won’t help with bigger things!
My blog post for today is at http://livingwithaltitude.wordpress.com/2014/07/09/from-believing-it-to-achieving-it/
I enjoy the site and your articles, thank you Celes
Hey Celes. I read your blog daily and I love the challenges, but I rarely post comments. Since you have wondered why some people don’t post, I thought I would let you know a couple of reasons. In my country, employers check up on their employees, and applicants for new jobs, by checking out their social media and internet posts. If they have party pictures on facebook, or brash comments on twitter, or weak/whiny comments on message boards, they are viewed as “not management material”. Also people involved in lawsuits or divorces are reluctant to put out anything personal about themselves, since opposing counsel (sharks) will exploit the comments in court. Internet privacy is a big issue here. While your blog appears to contain anonymous comments, anything can be traced back to the person with the right software. As a reader who has benefitted from your work, I do thank you for your service to this community, and I have purchased some of the material that costs money. But I cannot always “air my dirty laundry” comfortably.
This is part of my hesitation as well — that “airing my dirty laundry” will prove detrimental to me somehow in the future. I’m posting about the challenge but mainly because I think I’m relatively safe in doing so. I’m still quite wary about it, and I might edit/remove things in the future. It’s also quite hard for me to post knowing people that know me may read my deeper thoughts; it’d be easier if I could keep my posts only to those that don’t know me in “real life,” but that’s not guaranteed at all on the internet!
Hi Susan, you’re here! That’s totally fine and understandable, I appreciate whatever I can get, really (in terms of reader engagement, sharing, etc. in any challenge or any article). I understand the need for privacy; I do find that becoming harder in the world of social media — Facebook and the social media giants removing privacy options over time really don’t help, too.
Usually engagement isn’t an issue with any challenge, but for this particular challenge it seems much lower than average (compared to past challenges) possibly because the nature of the tasks are much more personal than the usual challenge tasks (as I mentioned in my reply to Madalina above). Among probably other reasons like people being busy, not having time, forgetting about the challenge, losing interest, losing self-motivation, etc. (All valid reasons.) I don’t expect anyone to post anything he/she isn’t comfortable with, or to “air dirty laundry” if it can potentially bite him/her, so I encourage everyone to share however much he/she is comfortable with, even if very little and vague. Even posting under an alias and fake avatar is fine too.
Well, I have missed out the Day 1 and 2 tasks, and I have done it today. I will continue with this challenge with my best.
Yes, my goal that I’m blocking myself currently is weight loss. As mentioned in Day 1 task, I can’t stop myself from the temptation towards chicken. =.=” And, whenever I have time, I always wish to take a nap, instead of doing exercise. I’m too enjoy with sleeping.
However, this morning, it was a coincident that, I have declared to myself that I want to have weight loss. I want to let my boyfriend see how much I change. I want to buy nice dresses and clothes!! I want to learn to get myself be pretty. I want to see my boyfriend’s ego face to be with a pretty and good girlfriend. :)
And, thanks to Celes’s earlier posts about weight loss. And, I will re-take 21DFC, eat less and take healthy food.
I know I can achieve it!!
Hey Jalae, I just read your task results for Day 1 and Day 2, and can empathize with your predicament about losing weight. It’s very reminiscent of my own struggles with weight loss between my early to late 20s.
Have you ever read my emotional eating series before? I feel that may house one of the keys to your current situation!
Hi Celes, yes, I have read through the articles a long time ago. But it seems hard to be put into actions… And yes, I will take into actions seriously this round. No matter how many times I have failed, still, I will go on and try it out. I believe that I can make it one day with firm determination!! ^^
Terrific, Jaleen! I also recommend checking out the How to Stop Stress Eating Program if you haven’t, which is my four-week course to overcome stress eating for life. The article series is helpful for a start, but this program is the holistic solution to addressing emotional eating, where I share the four root blocks to emotional eating. It’s basically a program that I designed to overcome emotional eating permanently based on all the struggles (and triumph) I had with this issue for pretty much over a decade. Many readers who emotional eat have received deep breakthroughs from this program; one reported losing much excess weight within weeks after, from applying the lessons.
Like you said, no matter how many times the failure, simply continue on. It’s more important that you learn from each “failure” and emerge stronger the next time (and you’ll see that Day 4’s task relates to this!). If I’m not wrong, I recall you are a teacher, right? Your students are very lucky to have a conscious teacher like you; with you actively embarking on your growth, they are getting the best life lessons they can get from you — no schools can ever offer this!
Regarding chicken, have you tried mock chicken? Or fried tofu? I think they’re a bit healthier. This infographic says tofu has less saturated fats and cholesterol and some nice nutrients http://www.prevention.com/which-healthier-chicken-or-tofu
Happy cooking! :)
I am following and active with the 15 days challenge.
Feel better and calm. It takes time to digest all new information in
my thinking. Sometime it feel so obvious and right but the world
around me is the same.
All the tasks which as to be done, must not be
accomplished in one day. To prioritize the tasks get me feel better
that it is due-able.
With positive thinking I have realized that daunting
tasks can be worth self-satifaction that one can be proud of, with a
reminder that life is constantly a process of making decision, work
and development into new discipline.
Everyone face this challenges in life and one should
reframe our life while we can, so life get more exciting. I do not
compete the result with other only my meaningful goals.
Thanks for sharing and showing your “road” of
excellence, that we follow.
What an astute statement. You are absolutely right, Chris, and you have also nailed the answer to this observation in your response too — that life is constantly a process.
When we get an internal shift, the world around us (i.e. the people we are in, the groups we hang out in), don’t. So, it can be challenging living in this world, because we continue to meet people and hang out in environments that are aligned with our past thinking but not our present one.
Is the next step then to return to our past thinking then? No! Not at all. As I tell my coaching clients, the people we are with, the environment we are in, are all the result of the actions and decisions of our PAST SELF. Hence, it’s more than normal that they are currently aligned with our PAST SELF, but not our present self. The next step is that to figure out a way to transit to our new path, to embody our new thinking, from where we are at the moment. (I’ve written more on this conundrum and how to break out of it in Living in Alignment with Your Purpose.) And like you rightly said, it’s not about competing with others, but ourselves to realize our own goals.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, Chris! :D
Sounds like move past back to the past, then there is nothing in our future. with that nothing, we can start to create.
While I do understand your confusion and/or surprise at seeing that not everyone is active (although this isn’t unprecedented: in many past challenges the number of persons who initially signed up kept decreasing throughout the challenge), I can only explain things from my point of view. I didn’t expect this challenge to go so in-depth on a personal level. There are things which I personally don’t feel ready or open to share with everyone else on the Internet. I wanted to write this comment to let you know, Celes, that I do read the articles and that I do appreciate your insights, but that I don’t post anything because I’m not comfortable yet with sharing so much about myself. Even in my journals in the forums I share only what I’m comfortable with disclosing, but the questions asked in this challenge are targeted at specific things, so you can’t avoid sharing more about yourself with everyone else. This isn’t to say that the challenge isn’t good or that the planning is faulty — not at all! It’s just how I feel about certain aspects of it.
Hey Lina, thank you so much for your comment!
Yes that’s definitely so; dropout rates is always common (even in paid courses/workshops) for reasons that can be completely unrelated to the program itself. But the non-participation rate for this particular challenge is probably the lowest of all challenges I’ve conducted — past challenges participation to signup ratio usually ranges anywhere from 1:10 to 1:4 for the first few days’ tasks, meaning one out of every 4 to 10 people who sign up will post something in the first few days’ tasks. For the current challenge, it’s hovering at about 1 to 30-40. I believe part of the factor is the more-personal nature of the challenge tasks, which links to the next part of your comment and my response:
That is totally valid. And I reckon that this is very tricky for people who use their real names/photos in their profiles. This is also why I encourage everyone to share whatever you’re comfortable with, even if it’s just a little. For example, even a 2-3 line vague response works too, if the area you’ve identified for the day’s task happens to be a very sensitive area.
One area that I’m sensitive about writing is about other people, such as friends or my personal contacts, because I never know who is comfortable with it and who ends up identifying him/herself from my writings (especially bad when the example I’m giving is not a good one). So one thing I do is that I try to be as general as possible, but still write it in a way where I can convey the lessons/keypoints, since the point of my sharing isn’t to finger point, but rather to share my revelations and lessons.
I really appreciate you being a part of the PE community, actively sharing comments, and participating (which you already know as I mentioned this multiple times before), so thank you for being here.
I want to highlight to the others reading this post that I’m not disgruntled or anything about the low-/non-comments/participation; if I am I would have ended the challenge. My core objective is to create the best challenge experience for everyone, and part of that includes getting as many people involved as possible, another part includes tweaking the challenge tasks to improve engagement. One conflict I constantly have with challenge tasks is whether to make them “simpler” and “less intense” so that it’s easier for people to participate, or whether to go for a real deep dive and help them to achieve the real breakthroughs. I know that the former is not my cup of tea, so I’m going more for the latter, but still simplifying the tasks as much as possible so they are doable for anyone (and there’s really a diverse group of people at PE) here in this challenge.
Almost all the time. Whenever I got an opportunity, the first reaction is can I do that? I can’t
do this. I can’t remember how many times I said this to myself, this already
became my default thinking, self doubt thinking. I can’t do that, I am not
ready, I am not good enough to do this. I don’t deserve this. Totally agree, I
feel that I am stand in my way to realize my dreams.
On one hand, I really work hard to pursue my dream, and spent lots of time and efforts, on the
other hand, within me, I told myself, I can’t do this. Stop doing the stupid things, you will never get where you want. Because you don’t deserve this, because you can’t do that, because you are not ready.
Both voice live in my heart, they keep talking. And most of the time, the negative voice won.
I believe people have potential to achieve things. The important part is belief. We believe in
ourselves, other believe in us can make it. I love the ability affirmation, I
can achieve what I dreamed.
Your Task Today
1. Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently. Overall, my dream is to doing
a work which has lots of interaction with others, and through what I am
doing, I can make a difference to others’ life, especially for people to
live a world with happiness and peace. (HR in OD, trainer, writer)
Career, I can’t be a trainer.
Study: I can’t get my paper ready, for psychology master
degree.
Relationship, I can’t improve the relationship with my father.
English, I can’t speak English well.
Confidence, I just can’t speak in public confidence.
Finance, I can’t afford to buy the things I want.
Dream: be a writer. I can’t be a writer.
Habits: I can’t focus on one thing all the time, ,I just keep
changing my focus.
2.Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream. For example:
I want to be a trainer, my self-limiting beliefs:
I can’t be a trainer because I am too young.
I can’t be a trainer because I don’t have good background, I
am only a senior administrator in F500 company
I can’t be a trainer because I am not looking good, my teeth
not looks good, my voice doesn’t sound nice.
I can’t be a trainer because I never did that. (although I
gave outlook training to administrators, time management, 7 habits etc)
I can’t be a trainer because I am not ready to do that.
I can’t be a trainer because I can’t travel a lot, since my son is only 3 years old;
I may be a trainer after 10 years, or 20 years later. When I
get older and with more experience. …..
3.Change this self-limiting belief(s). Continuing trainer example, the new empowering belief(s) can be:
My age doesn’t relate to my experience. I want to be a trainer
because training changed my life. I want to have chance to make a difference
in other’s life.
My experience in training. I already working in education/training
industry almost a decade, and I enjoy talking with people. I almost have
more than 1000 one on ones, and offer suggestions to people around me. Based
on the feedback I got, some consider me as good mentor for them.
I read thousands of books already, I have good knowledge system.
There never be a moment when I am ready as a trainer. I can’t
keep waiting, the some day will never come. And the only thing definitely
will happen is I am getting older and I will die.
My looking may relevant on the training delivery. But the key
is the impact I made to others, the contents, and the way others being
inspired. There are lots of people not look so good, but they still give
nice training and changed others life.
I am able to make this happen. If I don’t have the ability to
do that, this idea will disappear.
4. Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this
goal/dream. For example:
Continue the affirmation challenge, and write my learning on
my blog. No matter the kinds of walk, trainer, coach, writer, in deed,
what I really want is just make difference to others life. Through blog, I
can impact on those I never met.
Continue my current work as training coordinator, build my
capability and knowledge;
Step out my comfortable zone as the training coordinator, act
as I am the trainer already in all training I will be involved;
Offer training/small talk to others in my coming 1 on 1s,
Read get abstract summary every working day, I have blocked my
Friday morning for training materials go through;
Re-do the reflection one week later, to find the root cause on
my self doubt. Unless I can release myself, otherwise, I will always in
the self doubt story I created for myself. No matter what kind of opportunity
come to me, my first reaction still will be I can’t do that. It takes
time on this self realization journey, but I know I can make it. I can
achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it. I like the
heart part, in the end, our heart will define the success/happiness of
our life.
5.Say your new belief(s), along with today’s affirmation:
“I can achieve anything I want, as long as I set my heart to it.”
I can be a trainer, coach, writer, a person who make a difference in others life, through continue sharing with others. This is the new beginning, I love myself, and I believe I have the ability to
achieve my dream.
Here is the link
for day 3: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_a2fd0f5f0102uwy3.html
Hey Vivian, I can totally relate to you when you say “I can’t do this” every time I am pushed out of comfort zone, the same thought comes to my mind, Being in my comfort zone, I can overcame any obstacle no matter how difficult it seems (say for example it is something when am cooking, I can conjure a dish without any recipe) but something trivial and out of my comfort zone (like taking a picture from my phone camera, I’d think “I don’t know how to do that,it’d come blurry, I can’t”) but given today’s challenge, I have this immense A in my life! I have the ABILITY! I can, why cant I? I’m removing that troublesome t from my life! I CAN!
And from reading your comments over the last 3 days, you have it in you! your english has just the right words to get the message effortlessly home and not just home. Your words have a soul and I you have the ABILITY to become a wonderful writer! Not just that, a wonderful trainer, coach, daughter and person. Seek and we shall achieve! Looking forward to reading your bit on tomorrows tasks
ASLO, You’re so nice! Considering the body/mental/heart/spiritual, Spiritual is the most important part for me. Your encouragement means a lot to me.
Thanks for Celes pointing out that we are
not all in. I have the same feeling when I am running training sessions in
work. And I used to be the one to observe the session, what’s going on. However,
I see the benefit when I stretch out myself, step out from my comfortable zone,
through sharing my learning to others. It’s just simple as the apple to apple,
we only have one apple if we exchange, but we will have 2 ideas if we share and
learn from each other.
Thanks for Celes speaking straight for
this. Not everyone in life will say this, they will just allow what happen and
let it go. I do appreciate your openness and caring to all of us.
I signed up for this challenge. And I will
step out to comments on others as well. I want to make a difference to people
around me, this is the best opportunity god arranged for me. Thanks for encouraging
us again!
All your time and
efforts will count and be missed, because you already made lots of difference
in people’s life, and will continue do that. The sharing will always be there
no matter what happened in life, Your wisdom will last forever.
Vivian, thank you so much for your active support! I really appreciate your open sharing (your Day 2’s sharing was SO powerful) and even with you now taking the step to interact with the participants and giving inputs to their answers. You’re truly a leader and giver!
That’s so awesome that you do training too! What trainings do you do, if I may ask?
Celes, It’s my pleasure to share, and thanks for encouraging us to interact with each other. This is the best way to drive the learning. I am just easy to share my thoughts.
I did some trianing sessions for Administrators in my company about outlook, 7 habits, and exprience sharing session. I by chance found your blog in March, and been empowered by your blog.
I’m really excited to have you here on PE, Vivian. Thank you so much for joining the affirmation challenge and giving me the opportunity to know you! :D I look forward to knowing you more in the next 12 days ahead of the challenge!
You’re absolutely right that interacting is the best way to drive the learning; I’ve found this to be so in all the courses and workshops I run. When we share, the iteration process helps us to improve our clarity of thoughts as well as our own communication ability. It also gives others the opportunity to comment/input on what we have written. And then when we read others’ answers and respond to them, we learn further too through others’ stories.
Celes, i am so grateful to know you and PE.This affirmation challenge means alot to me. I wish i can join PE reader activity and meet you in person when i have chance to go Singapore.
Hi Vivian, likewise! I have reader meetups in Singapore about once a year, and in fact I’m likely having one next month in August. It’s a pity that you aren’t in Singapore, or you could join in!
You are from China, I believe? Actually I don’t know how big my Chinese audience is (might not be a lot, because I received feedback from a U.S. reader who moved to work in China that he couldn’t access my site in China sometimes — this was three years ago) — but it would be great if I get the opportunity to have a readers meetup in China next time! Which part of China are you from?
It’s so pity, my trip is around Dec.
I am from Beijing, and i shared your website to some of my collegues in China. You are very special for us because I identified your ex-company.
Day 3!! I find every day of this challenge allowing me to go deeper within myself and reconsider and appreciate myself….affirm that I am all I seek, desire and deserve to be!
To the tasks!
1. Identify a goal/dream that you’re blocking yourself in currently:
I cant lose weight
I cant detach myself from material emotions
2.Identify your self-limiting belief(s) in this goal/dream:
I am not ready to devote time for myself in terms of cooking a different diet meal for myself.
I am extremely emotionally weak, and every time I feel wronged or hurt, it sets me back in my pursuit of my goals.
3. Change this self-limiting belief(s):
I know the importance of being physically and mentally healthy. I shall never let the present situation affect my long-term goals! I shall make the progress of my physical and mental growth be the motivation for me to always keep in the pursuit of my personal excellence.
4. Identify action step(s) you’re going to take to realize this goal/dream.
I shall get more dedicated in my fitness routines and shall use all the books I have and the articles on PE to serve as my guiding way for my goals of fitness and emotional well being.
Saying the affirmation out loud brings a sense of calm in my mind. It feels as though I have been handed the key to discovering myself! I shall never give in to my limitations again! I have the ABILITY and the desire to achieve! I shall, for I have the way, all that is left is to take the road not taken…..
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