How to Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive

Confident boy with cape

PE reader Saim asks, “Hi Celes, this is Saim from Pakistan. For the last 6 years, I’ve been working in Saudi Arabia in a multinational company. Some of my friends recommended me the PE website and shared with me some free ebooks from the site. I’ve been reading your articles, courses, etc. for the last 6 months. I really appreciate that and it has been helping me in my job to excel.

“The question I want to ask is, ‘How can we be assertive without being aggressive?’ As a person, I’m humble and polite. But there are many situations in the workplace where we need to be assertive instead of being aggressive. I want to know and would appreciate if you can share through the podcast on how to be assertive and techniques to do so.”

Have you ever had moments when you wished you spoke up and asserted yourself, but didn’t? Have difficulty claiming your boundary and needs sometimes?

I feel this way sometimes too. In this episode of The PE Podcast, learn

  • How being assertive doesn’t mean being nasty or rude
  • 2 key differences between being assertiveness and aggressiveness
  • 6 tips to build your courage to be assertive without being aggressive
  • The value of your voice
  • An incident where I got molested and didn’t assert myself, and why I should have
  • 3 questions to ask yourself in determining whether to assert yourself
  • How writing down something can give you courage
  • What I do when I get emails that are hard to reply or reject
  • How asserting isn’t just about speaking, but also about picking the right context to speak
  • Why you shouldn’t just “wait” when it comes to high-level career questions like promotion plan and salary rise
  • How to create the right context to assert yourself
  • The concept of “Face Saving” and how to apply it in assertion
  • What I do in my workshops when there are participants being weird or disruptive
  • The difference between I-statements and You-statements, and why I-statements are better when it comes to assertion or conflicts
  • Why focusing on the positive makes a big difference in conversation
  • How to talk to your boss if you’re facing heavy workload issues
  • An example of how to talk to a co-worker who’s not giving you work on time
  • The importance of win-win in assertion and how to involve others

Listen here:

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