Today is the end of day 2 of my fasting experiment and I’m feeling great still! Here are the stats for today:
- Today’s Weight: 139.8lbs / 63.4kg
- Diff vs. Yesterday: -1.3lbs / -0.6kg
- Total Difference: -4.6lbs / – 2.1kg
- Water consumption: 3.9 liters
- Body Temp: 36.3 C / 97.7 F
Overall, I’m still feeling as good as yesterday, with no hunger pangs. My stomach churned lightly a couple of times, and at some points my mind thought about food and how X food would taste in my mouth, but other than that everything went very well! I merely observed those signs/thoughts as they came, and they went away as fast as they came. I was definitely very conscious the whole time – I suspect all the (mental) prep I did in Day 1 and Day 0 really helped. In the past, if I was to ever hear my stomach growl, I would immediately get food, thinking I would starve to death if I didn’t eat. But now that I know my body has all the fat reserves to last me for at least 40 days, I don’t worry about it anymore.
Lack of hunger
A part of me feels it’s really strange how easy this fast is going. I’m able to look at food and watch my parents eat without feeling hunger or resistance at all. (be it Chinese New Year goodies or regular meals) Given that Days 1-3 are supposedly the hardest in terms of food resistance, and it’s already end of Day 2, it’s possible I might not experience physical hunger at all during this fast. For sure, it makes it easier and I’m excited at what’s to come next. A part of me wonders if it’s because of a large reserve of glucose and glycogen in my liver due to all the food I ate in Day 0. o_O I’ll continue to track tomorrow.
Detox – Nothing so far
Detox-wise, I have not experienced any pains, aches, etc which are signs that your body is healing through the toxins. I am tasting a slightly bitter taste in my mouth now, which might be a detox indication. I’ll continue to observe this aspect.
In the morning when I woke up, my body felt warm, somewhat mild feverish. However it cooled down almost immediately after I woke up. Overall my body has been quite cool, probably since my systems are taking a break from processing food / digesting. Nice to let them take a vacation. 😆
Food, Love, Family
One thing that made me feel sad today was that my dad specially prepared a vegetarian breakfast and dinner for me today, but I couldn’t eat them. He woke up early to cook fried rice, complete with mushrooms as he knew I like mushrooms. He also bought vegetarian spring rolls and dumplings and prepared them for me. (By the way, I had told my parents several times in the past that I was going raw vegan eating only fruits, vegetables and nuts, but I don’t think they realized I meant that literally. That and the fact that I occasionally ate cooked food probably made them dismiss my raw vegan comments).
For simplicity’s sake, I didn’t tell my dad that I was doing a water fast as he was not going to understand, at least not without going through the volumes of materials I had read on the subject. So when he got back in the afternoon and saw that there was still food left (my brother had some for breakfast), he told me that there was all the vegetarian food, so I could eat them. I just told him that I had already eaten (I didn’t). Later, he prepared dinner, again a vegetarian meal, for the family (I’m the only vegetarian). This time there were the leftovers from the breakfast on the dining table and a big spread for dinner. He reminded me to eat before he turned in for the day. I hope he’s not disappointed with the leftovers when he wakes up in a few hours.
Anyway, I felt sad when I knew he had prepared breakfast (later dinner), plus with the vegetarian food to boot. Food has constantly been a symbol of love in my family since young. This is also the reason why I emotional ate for a large chunk of my life. Eating what my parents buy/cook/prepare is my way of accepting their love for me; not eating them would be a rejection of their love. Of course this is not true, and just a belief – a fallacious one at that. When you eat for any reason other than true hunger, be it for love, comfort, solace, happiness, etc, this behavior will continue to perpetuate all your life. Because food is not love/comfort/solace/happiness, period. It’s merely a proxy. Since food inherently isn’t any of that, no amount of eating will fill up the original void of those elements. You’ll keep eating, eating and eating, and the same situation will present itself over and over again, with no end in sight. It’s a bottomless pit.
So I was reflecting over this when I felt the wave of sadness, and I realized again that eating is never going to be the solution. Not in the past, not now, and not in the future either. A longer-term solution is to work directly on expressing love itself, first starting with daily actions. Just now I accompanied my parents as they caught their favorite 7pm show (that’s 爱 for the Singaporeans!). Since I don’t watch TV, it was funny sitting in front of the telly like in the past.
This isn’t a quick fix situation, and it’s something I’ve been aware of and working on for a while. The interesting thing is that as I progress in my growth journey, I see a trend in how my past issues are processed. It first starts with the most recent issues, then slowly backpedals into later years as you work through them one by one. Ever since embarking on a conscious life in ’08, I’ve been working through my personal issues, one by one (which you can somewhat see from thechronology of content on PE).
Right now, I’m starting to deeply explore/address my relationship with food, myself, and my parents. These are multi-layered beliefs deeply rooted from childhood, and as a corollary, how my parents were brought up by my grandparents, so they are by no means overnight fixes. I know that every day I’m gaining headway on this area and the whole discovery process is incredibly exciting. For sure, I’ll continue to write about this in the future at the blog, and I’m really excited to that all of you are here with me in this journey. 🙂
Stay tuned for Day 3!
That’s it for now. Stay tuned for Day 3’s update tomorrow! :hug:
Update: Day 3 is up!
Image: Meditating at beach