This is Day 4 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 4 of 21DJC! :)
Yesterday’s question was: “What is your ideal diet like?“. It was interesting reading your responses. Many of you seem to be in tune with what’s best for your body, which is great! Many of you stressed on a diet that’s filled in nutrition and void of empty calories since the latter does not benefit our body. Many of you are committed to removing unhealthy, junk food from your diet; At the same, a diet with high fruits and vegetables is a common vision across the board.
Ultimately all of us are different and have different needs, so go for the diet that you feel best about. There’s no need to feel compelled on a certain diet just because of what your parents, society, health magazines, or TV say.
If you eat something only to feel bad about it afterward, whether physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, then it’s a cue that it’s probably not the ideal for you. This includes eating junk food on the spur of the moment, then beating yourself up over it or feeling “guilty” about it after that.
While you can argue that it’s a “treat” and you “deserve” it, the point is you yourself already acknowledge the food is bad and feel bad about eating it afterward. This in itself suggests a misalignment in your wants/needs that needs to be worked through, vs. allowing the conflicting behavior to perpetuate.
Either you have a candy bar because you *truly* feel it’s the best thing for your body, or you don’t have that. You can’t be thinking “this candy bar isn’t good” and still have that in your ideal diet. That doesn’t make any sense at all; it’s a contradiction in itself. Ideal means something that’s the highest of it all; something you acknowledge to be the best of the best for yourself.
In the end, your ideal diet should be one which you feel 110% emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually both in the short-run and in the long-run – nothing less than that. By having a clear idea of what your ideal diet is, it brings awareness to what you want to feed your body with. This makes it easier for you to achieve this goal in the long run.
While I have a vision of what my ideal diet is, I’m far from it at the moment – there are times when I go off track with my diet due to emotional eating, lack of my desired food, or circumstances. But the important thing is I always work on getting back on track. Being on your ideal diet may not happen overnight, but the important thing is you move closer towards it, and work on integrating it into your lifestyle, day by day. In time, you realize you are exactly where you want to be.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question! ;)
21DJC Day 4
Today’s question is a fun one – one which involves some imagination and thinking outside of our current framework of time:
If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?
How old would you be 3 years ago? What was happening at that time? What would you say to yourself? And why?
(Today’s question can be found in #21 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Time travel))
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• Read more books.
• Don’t underestimate yourself.
• Hold yourself in high regard, more self esteem.
• Have a character and attitudes worth inspiring.
• Engage in hobbies and meaningful pursuits.
• Know your purpose and stick to it.
• Have more true friends and eliminate energy vampires.
• Be the best in your examination and avoid a lackadaisical attitude.
• Be physically strong and healty
This is a powerful question to me … three years ago I was laid off from a very prestigious and high-paying position in my city. At first things seemed like a lark … I did a lot of research, took computer classes, improved my French and Spanish skills, and tried a radio internship but at the end of all of that I still floundered … I instinctively, powerfully, knew that I didn’t want to go back into my former field (I inwardly whined: “That’s what I am trained to do!”).
I would tell myself; Look within yourself, find out the things you have done and really loved and move forward in that direction. I have done a lot of public speaking over the last twenty years (museum tours, events planning, destination management, political and environmental activism) but it was all volunteer and hobby work and that doesn’t pay my mortgage. And my mortgage holder is pretty insistent about having that $$ on the first of each month.
One night I sat on my porch at 3:00 am after waking up in stark terror, with heart palpitations, wondering, “I’m 55 years old in a culture that celebrates “youth”. (Another great question would be, WHY DOES CULTURE CELEBRATE YOUTH?) Will I ever work again? Am I going to die from lack of food? Will my dogs and I be kicked out of my home? I looked into the starry sky above me and silently asked, “Please help me. Please let me know what my new direction is … Please …”
That next morning I went to the telephone book and removed the yellow pages for a subsection of the hospitality field and made 12 calls. Nine of those twelve businesses interviewed me; 6 wanted to hire me. Now I’m unbelievably happy with my newly chosen field … can’t ever imagine going back.
It seemed that all I needed to do was reach out and ask for help, a solution, a shove in the right direction. I had only to ask for that advice three years earlier …
This is a powerful question to me … three years ago I was laid off from a very prestigious and high-paying position in my city. At first things seemed like a lark … I did a lot of research, took computer classes, improved my French and Spanish skills, and tried a radio internship but at the end of all of that I still floundered … I instinctively, powerfully, knew that I didn’t want to go back into my former field (I inwardly whined: “That’s what I am trained to do!”).
I would tell myself; Look within yourself, find out the things you have done and really loved and move forward in that direction. Ask for help from those around you. I have done a lot of public speaking over the last twenty years (museum tours, events planning, destination management, political and environmental activism) but it was all volunteer and hobby work and that doesn’t pay my mortgage. And my mortgage holder is pretty insistent about having that $$ on the first of each month.
One night I sat on my porch at 3:00 am after waking up in stark terror, with heart palpitations, wondering, “I’m 55 years old in a culture that celebrates “youth”. (Another great question would be, WHY DOES CULTURE CELEBRATE YOUTH?) Will I ever work again? Am I going to die from lack of food? Will my dogs and I be kicked out of my home? I looked into the starry sky above me and silently asked, “Please help me. Please let me know what my new direction is … Please …”
That next morning I went to the telephone book and removed the yellow pages for a subsection of the hospitality field and made 12 calls. Nine of those twelve businesses interviewed me; 6 wanted to hire me. Now I’m unbelievably happy with my newly chosen field … can’t ever imagine going back.
It seemed that all I needed to do was reach out and ask for help, a solution, a shove in the right direction. I had only to ask for that advice three years earlier …
If I were to travel back in time 3 years ago, I would be giving advice to my 19 year old self. I would have sooo much advice for myself I don’t even know where to start.
The first thing I would tell myself is that even though things are rocky with Londo (my boyfriend) STICK THROUGH IT. I am so glad I did, and I wish that I could tell myself then that everything would work out for the better and we would end up moving out together and become one of the strongest relationships I know. I would tell myself that deep down I know he loves me more than life itself and our love is not something I could just throw away and replace at the drop of a hat. We truly do have something very special.
The next thing I would tell myself is to spend more time with my Grandpa Bruce and my Papa, because they would both be gone by the middle of the next year. I wish I could have told myself that every time I left 5 minutes early, it would be 5 minutes that I could never get back. I would tell myself to visit more and tell them I love you 8457987 million more times when I was there. I would tell myself not to take that time for granted.
I would also tell myself to stop listening to what everyone else is telling me they think I should do with my life and to start exploring things that genuinely interest ME. Don’t pursue a career for the money or because my family thinks that’s what’s best for me. That advice from myself could have saved me 2 years in college just floating from major to major and taking pointless classes that I’m never going to need.
I would tell myself to spend more time with my sister. That as we grow older we will also grow closer. I would tell myself that when she’s mean to me or flips out on me for no reason not to take it personally and flip out back at her. I would remind myself that she’s just a teenager too and doing exactly what I did when I was her age. I would remind myself of all that we’ve been through and of how much I love her, and that would overpower any need I felt I had to snap back at her.
I would tell myself not to take what my dad or his girlfriend says too seriously, that they don’t know any better. That would have prevented almost 2 years of lost time that I could have been spending with my dad, when instead we refuse to call each other or even speak to each other on the internet. I think of him about 7 to 10 times daily. For that matter, I would have told myself not to take what ANYONE says or thinks too seriously. Their opinions only come from what they perceive to be true, which is only the surface of any given situation. Their opinions really don’t matter and I shouldn’t waste precious life time worrying about them. What they think of me or what I do is not my business.
Most importantly, I would tell myself not to stress out about life or try to rush it. Everything eventually falls into place, especially when you pursue what interests you and what you are passionate about. Do what makes you happy all of the time. I don’t deserve anything less than that. I would tell myself not to get caught up in the drama, life is too short.
I would also say get involved in TKD so that you don’t lose so much time being unhealthy. Change medications earlier. Buckle down and do what you need to do and then sit back and enjoy. Budget would be huge on my list of things to tell myself. I would say to let go of the “what if” and the “when” statements and live in the now. But most of all, dwell on what you DO have instead of what you don’t.
I was 22 years old 3 years ago. Looking back at my salary slip, I quit my job that I was not passion about. I’m lost at the time. Working as a cashier that I’d think I want to work as when I was out of secondary school. Then work as promoter and clerk in a short period of time. After that I looking for a job with my best friend, we’re hired together in a 24 hours convenient store. Most crazy job I’ve been worked, later that I’d quit because of low salary. Quite lot of job I’ve been worked but not long, as part time promoter, clerk… working at a slot machine shop that play real money, as a disk jockey at a small old-style karaoke shop just work for few days, because I can’t stand the smelly smoke and environment.. I’ve worked back the job that I’m not passion about because I have the skill and as a part. Until today, I’m not sure if I’m happy or right of what I’ve been done, however I know that’s not I want. I would give to myself advises is follow your heart, live your life, take action, be strong, be open minded, etc.
Sorry, correcting..
.. I’ve worked back the job that I’m not passion about because I have the skill and as a part time for 1 year. Until today, I’m not sure if I’m happy or right of what I’ve been done, however I know that’s not I want. I would give to myself advices is follow your heart, live your life, take action, be strong, be open minded, etc.
Three years ago I was 24 years old. I was splitting my living arrangements between my parent’s house and my girlfriend’s place, studying sustainable engineering, and volunteering in sustainable initiatives. My daughter was a long way from being born!
The advice that I would give my 24 year old self would be the same that I try to give myself everyday today; actively live by the following values:
openness (explore the world, move out of home, and read, create, experience)
love (connect with people, lose fear, inhibitions and barriers)
mindfulness (be present and engaged, don’t waste time watching TV or surfing the net, do what’s most important first, meditate everyday)
impermanence (live in the moment, cherish each moment, spend time with family and friends)
peace (live with meaning and purpose)
In terms of lifestyle I would also advise that I need to focus on a career where I can help people. Don’t be focused on prestige, find a career with meaning and purpose with practical outcomes.
I’d also tell myself to get healthy, stop drinking soft drinks, and get to bed early!
Since I was eleven years old I have had a huge goal, and if I were to achieve this goal my life would literally be complete. In the past seven years I have done nothing but obsess over this goal, and I have taken very few steps to achieve it. So I would tell myself to “work each day at your goal, even if it is only for ten minutes, because that will get you closer than doing nothing at all”.
Travelling three years back, I would be 24, in the middle of my MBA. I would tell myself to be more calm dealing with emotional situations. I don’t have any regrets on what I did for the last three years so I’ll not be doing much counseling. However, I have had a few good and few bad experiences in these three years and I have learned a few things from my mistakes so, I’ll tell myself to better avoid those mistakes and pass on my experiences.
I just wondered how I will react upon seeing myself and vice versa. However I don’t need to ponder over it much as it is practically impossible.
I do have a regret though. I continued in a relationship which I was sure was not meant to succeed and still I sort of dragged it for three long years not willing to make the first move to get out of it. Somewhere down the line, I was not ready to hurt the girl. Finally I realized that by not doing it I am going to hurt her much more later on and gathered the courage to face the situation.
Thankfully I am out of it now and moving on pretty well :-)
In the end I’ll just say that every mistake we make adds on to our experience and a life without any mistake and regret would be a big bore.
I would not change too much, but I would have told myself to get addicted to walking or running. I feel with my aging body that I should have been more pro active in keeping my joints more active. I also wonder if I would have suggested changing my career path, it is complicated, but I am not sure I would change where I am with my career today.
Advice to Me, 3 years ago:
Break Up with him sooner.
Go out with your friends.
Love this!! I am not in that situation, but I do feel life is too short for such a burden to carry. Glad you changed it!! :)
Three years ago I was 45 and my youngest child had just graduated from high school. I was looking for what my next great adventure was going to be. I had spent the last several years following my daughter around the State playing softball and had lost sight of what my life was about and what I was going to do with it. As a wife of 26 years and a mother for 22 I felt that I had lost myself and lived soley to do things for others. I love my family very much, but I have never taken the time to put myself first. Three years later I still don’t put my needs above others, but I have begun to put myself first sometimes. My advice to myself would have been:
1. Love myself, acccept myself for who I am
2. Take care of myself – physically, emotionally and spiritually
3. Be easy on myself – no one is perfect, learn from my mistakes and move forward
4. Don’t stop trying to improve my life
5. Accept compliments from others
6. Accept love from others
I would tell myself to be patient. That change takes time, and time takes time. Things are so different now than they were three years ago. I am more grateful and more calm. I am better able to take one day at a time.
The advice I would give myself would be to stop and listen to not only myself but those close to me. I ran off to Vegas three years ago with a guy I had known a week and married him.
Four months later we were divorcing. It wasn’t pretty in the end and I barely got away with my sanity intact, well, most days it was intact.
Its taken me three years to finally realize that while it was fun to add another story to my life, its always better to read the warning signs and understand those around you sometimes have a better view of the whole picture.
Some of the things that I would tell myself if I could go back 3 years would be:
1. Don’t stress over the small things because the majority of the time they don’t matter in the long run, such as embarrassing moments. Step out of your comfort zone and be YOURSELF.
2. Take the education and opportunities that appear before you with gratitude and don’t be so critical of yourself.
3. Have a positive outlook on life.
4. Continue on your path of self understanding and growth because it will help you become a better & more confident person.
5. Be confident in your height and what god gave you
6. Work hard and play hard. Learn to balance working hard with having fun because both are beneficial.
7. Look at each encounter, struggle, opportunity as a chance to grow. Embrace all that comes your way.
8. Take care of your health: healthy mind, body & soul.
9. Be outgoing, meet people and learn from them.
10. Believe in yourself and work hard for it pays off in the long run.
11. Only spend time on people who are willing to spend the same time on you
I would tell myself to stop trying to be all and do all. I would have enlisted help SOONER! I would have insisted that ‘I’ was on my own ‘to do’ list…
I would say to myself, “Bett, don’t isolate and feel depressed because the long-term relationship didn’t work out. It takes two to be in a partnership/loving relationship. Love yourself through this. Reach out to those who are truly there for you, those who care and love you, and not to binge food that only numbs and piles on the weight you worked so hard to get rid of. Fill yourself with life, and live for yourself, not for another. Take charge of yourself, grow in your independence, stay true to yourself, make your own decisions, encourage and support yourself through the difficult times. Take care of yourself. You are worthy of the best and worthy to live your best life. You are loving, and loved and lovable. You are a beautiful person with many gifts and talents, and a purpose. You have a mission. Stay with it! Don’t isolate and give up by burying yourself in a pile of junk food! You are the only person in your life who will never leave you, so don’t hide your head in the sand. Don’t punish yourself! Snap out of it!!! You have a destiny to fulfill!
If i can travel back 3 years ago, in 2008, I was working in an educational centre, I would advice myself to think more positively. I should not judge or find fault, see the negative side of things or other people. I should especially support my boss even though we had some conflicts. I should not chat negative things at work because it will attract negative feelings to all. I should be happy with whatever I do because when I am happy, I could do things effectively, also, the relationship with people would be better.
If you want something, even if it’s just a thought, go try it. It’s okay to be afraid if you are, but don’t give up without trying. And when the road is tough, don’t feel disappointed, the important thing is to keep going on.
Also, smile when you want to. Don’t just curl the ends of your lips. But let your eyes disappear and your mouth open.
Oh, and even if you and your parents don’t see eye to eye, they love you unconditionally.
Last, try everything once.
What advice would I give myself?
I’m glad I didn’t know what I was in for three years ago, or I never would have taken the steps that brought me where I am today.
I would have, taken myself to the coast, with paper and pen. A bottle of wine, to numb the pain, a box of tissues to dry the tears, and a dear friend to hold me present.. I would tell myself, “To the caterpillar metamorphasis must seem like a death, but it becomes a beautiful butterfly”. I read that somewhere recently, sorry I don’t remember where, and it made me think how very true that must be.
I would tell myself to be strong, and to stand and fight for what is right. I would also say it will all be okay, for when you get through this, you will be so much stronger than you are now, you will have learned so much, and you will be a better person for the journey. I would tell myself it is necessary, every single step, leads you to where you are going. But maybe you shouldn’t change your children’s school.
Three years ago, I didn’t know I was about to ask for a divorce, I didn’t know my now ex would be diagnosed with cirrhosis. I had become so shut down in my marriage, in my life, I didn’t know who I was anymore, having just enough energy to get from one day to the next and always searching for why. I can remember screaming, pleading out to God, to change him, and the answer that resonated back was no.
I am a mother of 6 children, four of them now adults, a 9 year old and a 12 year old. My 12 year old has Cerebral Palsy.
I know now, I didn’t have much choice, if I hadn’t asked for the divorce, I most likely would not have a roof over my head. Or it would at the very least now be in jeopardy.
I have learned who I am since then, how rare we all are as individuals, I have learned about personality disorders, codependency, the difference between “self” less ness, and low self esteem. I have learned about human behavior, neural linguistic patterning, mind control, manipulation, and obsessions. Our society has also been a topic of interest for me, as in how it all works, or doesn’t with all of these different archetypes. I have learned the difference between life’s circumstances and drama, and to let my adult children learn their own lessons. I have learned the labels we all use don’t define who we are but rather what we do, or what we like. I have learned to embrace each day, and to feed the white wolf, or to feed the positive. It is so true that you find more of what you are looking at. I have learned that age is just a number, it has nothing to do with how old you really are, Just look at our MOST amazing, wonderful Amanda!
Standing on the precipice I know when I step off, I’m not going to fall, but to soar. Starting a new chapter in my life!
3yrs ago I was 37yrs old, 2 kids, waking up from my dark nite. Deep reflection, about to lose faith in the company and people I was working for.Beginning a slow, long, arduous wake up. I would tell myself, Its your movie, look within to change the outside, don’t need approval, live for you and yr dreams, don’t be afraid of letting go of anyone or anything, submit and accept all the moments of your life graciously and with love, every moment is as it should be, love yourself, reach for yr dreams with all the passion inside you. Be an example of a new and better way, be grateful to GOD for all the blessings in yr life and LOVE LIFE itself, warts and all….
My advice today would not deviate from the one I did give myself 3 years ago which was:
spend as much time with my children as possible,
finish my post-graduate study and bump my remuneartion by 40%
switch off my insane philosophy of searching for The Ultimate Passion in Life into loving every moment of the life I already have..
I followed all of the above and there is nothing else I could have adviced myself differently.
Finding beauty in the pattern of my fresh latte while laughing with my friend or watching movies cuddling with my kids under the blankie while eating chocolate – that is my passion after I opened my eyes to it.
It was already here but I kept ignoring it all along for years.
Simple: “Leave that job and go back to school-NOW!”
Stick to the budget.
Do not fall prey to lifestyle inflation.
You will make more money.
Better to do so with less debt so you can really enjoy it.
Sacrifices made now will be well worth it.
How old would you be 3 years ago?
I would have been almost 48 years old.
What was happening at that time?
I was very joyful about being a Mom and yet very sad about the state of my marriage. I was on parental leave from my job and enjoying doing Mommy activities with other Moms and small children.
What would you say to yourself?
You are a great parent.
It is not your fault.
You will survive. You did your best. You are not in control of everything. You are loved by many people. It is ok to be scared. You can handle this.
And why?
What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago?”.
-I would advise myself to:
1. Remember and follow my dreams instead of other’s
2. Listen more
3. Improve communication skills to be more respectful of myself and others
4. Declutter my space
5. Open mail and follow up
6. Stay in contact with old friends more
7. Do a budget and follow it
8. Balance checkbook and keep track of expenses
9. Work out and exercise
10. Meditate everyday
11. Do total relaxation everyday to recharge drained batteries
12. Work on plans for fulfilling return to work, i.e. read more about coaching, networking
13. Become IT/tech savy
14. Journal my child’s and my life
15. Read more about child development
16. Read Positive Discipline books
17. Learn to use my camera
18. Print photos; make photo albums
19. Make a baby book
20. Write to Libby
Great advice. Many of the things I would also advise my old self!
Hope you have been able to apply these in the past three years
My advice to myself three years ago would most likely be twofold. First, I would advise myself to be more careful with my money. I should have thought all of my expenses, both large and small, through more thoroughly. Secondly, I would advise myself to spend more time in thought about what sort of relationship I wanted to have with my newly ex-husband, and with myself as a newly single mother. Hindsight being 20/20, I think more time spent on those issues three years ago might have put me in a more comfortable position now.
Don’t open that second fitness studio! I had opened a small personal training studio in August 2007, and about a year later I had the chance to open a second studio. It seemed like too good a deal to pass up, and so I went ahead and opened my second studio. As it turned out, I was never able to get the second studio to be profitable, and any money I was making at my first studio was going towards supporting the second studio. I ended up closing the second studio after about 2 years, but it had become such a drain that I also ended up closing my first studio about 6 months later. Fortunately I had another job to fall back on, and while the venture did not turn out like I had anticipated, I certainly gained some valuable experience and life lessons.
If I would travel back in time 3 years ago, I would be turning 22 then. My advice would be that to study more and be more active in college. At this time I was in college and in a relationship where I was so consumed by. If I was going to go back to my 22 year old self, I would say that I should have explored more, studied harder, joined more organizations in college, built more genuine deep relationships, and not be so serious with a boyfriend. :)
3 years ago I would be turning 21 in August. At this point in my life I am devoting most of my time to the organization I volunteer with, Donor Network of Arizona. I am not in school. At this point I quit my job as a office managers assistant at a Geriatric Specialist Clinic in town. I am now working two jobs to support myself and my, than 3 year old child. I am working in retail and in restaurant serving food. I am entering a relationship that I had no patients for.
I would tell myself GO TO SCHOOL! I have been procrastinating about going to school and finishing, or just starting. I would like to pursue my dream in teaching. I do lots of public speaking and I would also love to use that towards teaching. Start and finish school. Most important factor. I would also tell myself, keep up the activities with my daughter. Stay focused on projects. I would also say, STAY COMMITED to you. I need to tell myself these things bc I have lost focus in the past few years and I would like to remain on track. I would like to pursue my career in teaching so I may have more time to go further or the option to change it. I have always been in relationships and felt the past ones that I was in were just a waste of time. But who knows exactly who will be that one special guy or just a guy that you date. So if I spent more time on myself it will better open my eyes and help me realize the difference.
Right now, school is most important. I can better my life for my child and myself.
Three years ago I would exactly be 19! I was in my first year at uni studying psychology. I was in a fairly new relationship and I did not know what was happening to me.
It was soon after that, that I became more interested in self development.
I would tell myself to change my course and do something else in uni that would actually be more creative.
I would tell myself to make more friends at the time and let go of being so emotionally closed.
I would tell myself to measure people correctly before letting them into my life.
I would most probably tell myself to leave the country I was in and go to another one.
I would tell myself not to be so dependent on my father for money, so I would tell me to get a job!
I would tell me to volunteer.
I would tell me to gain lots of experiences within possible workplaces. Try everything.
At the end of the day though everything that happened to me was for a reason; to become the person I am today. I am so grateful that I do not regret a single thing that happened in my life or the things that I myself made happen.
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