This is Day 14 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge held in Nov 2011. The challenge is now over but you can do the tasks in your own time. Visit the overview page for all the challenge tasks.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 14 of 21DJC! :) Yesterday’s question was: “What Do You Fear Most?“. (Read the responses.)What do I fear the most? One of my 5 core values (We will work on uncovering our values next month, during Day 15 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days) is “Courage”. The reason why I picked Courage as my core value, is because I think living in fear is one of the worst ways to live life.Why do I say that? Because fear is the mind killer. When you live in fear or something, you start living in a box, whereby the boundary of the box is defined by your fear. The thing is, this fear, if not linked to any physical danger, is merely an illusion that limits your life experience. You may think you are safe by having your life governed by this fear, and you may theoretically feel safe, but the truth is you are repressing yourself for no real reason. Read: Why Overcome Fear?Because fear is such a pointless, disempowering emotion, I make a conscious effort to unroot my fears whenever I face one. I first get clarity on what I’m fearful about, after I seek to understand them. Then, I work on dissolving the fear itself.That said, there are definitely things I’m fearful of, that I’ve not worked through. I’d say working through our fears is a life long journey. For every layer of fear I unravel, there will be new layers of fear underneath. These reflect the new phases of growth I’ve to to through. Personally, I see fears as indicators of what I need to work on next, so it’s a great compass for my growth.The current fears I’m dealing with include fear that I’m not good enough, fear that I’ll be all alone, fear that no one loves me, fear that I cannot lose weight, fear that I’m too ugly, fear that I’ll never be loved. These are things which I look forward to writing and sharing in detail at Personal Excellence in the upcoming future, as I work through the issues.I want to take this chance to thank all of you for earnestly sharing your fears here.With PE, I strive to create a safe space where all of us can share our thoughts and pursue our growth without judgment or prejudice. As I look at the community we have right now, I feel that we *are* living this at this moment. This is incredible. I was just having a conversation with one of the regular PE members, Matt, earlier this week, and we both agreed that PE is easily the most conscious communities either of us have seen online. I can’t be prouder of all of us here.Thank you for being a part of Personal Excellence. I’m very grateful for your existence.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 14 of 21DJC! :) Yesterday’s question was: “What Do You Fear Most?“. (Read the responses.)What do I fear the most? One of my 5 core values (We will work on uncovering our values next month, during Day 15 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days) is “Courage”. The reason why I picked Courage as my core value, is because I think living in fear is one of the worst ways to live life.Why do I say that? Because fear is the mind killer. When you live in fear or something, you start living in a box, whereby the boundary of the box is defined by your fear. The thing is, this fear, if not linked to any physical danger, is merely an illusion that limits your life experience. You may think you are safe by having your life governed by this fear, and you may theoretically feel safe, but the truth is you are repressing yourself for no real reason. Read: Why Overcome Fear?Because fear is such a pointless, disempowering emotion, I make a conscious effort to unroot my fears whenever I face one. I first get clarity on what I’m fearful about, after I seek to understand them. Then, I work on dissolving the fear itself.That said, there are definitely things I’m fearful of, that I’ve not worked through. I’d say working through our fears is a life long journey. For every layer of fear I unravel, there will be new layers of fear underneath. These reflect the new phases of growth I’ve to to through. Personally, I see fears as indicators of what I need to work on next, so it’s a great compass for my growth.The current fears I’m dealing with include fear that I’m not good enough, fear that I’ll be all alone, fear that no one loves me, fear that I cannot lose weight, fear that I’m too ugly, fear that I’ll never be loved. These are things which I look forward to writing and sharing in detail at Personal Excellence in the upcoming future, as I work through the issues.I want to take this chance to thank all of you for earnestly sharing your fears here.With PE, I strive to create a safe space where all of us can share our thoughts and pursue our growth without judgment or prejudice. As I look at the community we have right now, I feel that we *are* living this at this moment. This is incredible. I was just having a conversation with one of the regular PE members, Matt, earlier this week, and we both agreed that PE is easily the most conscious communities either of us have seen online. I can’t be prouder of all of us here.Thank you for being a part of Personal Excellence. I’m very grateful for your existence.With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!21DJC Day 14
Today’s question is:What Is Love?
Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D
((Images: Empty book for journaling, Red heart))
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I’m afraid that this question is too much for me. I feel that I have never been loved (which is not true). The real problem of this is my personality. I easily feel the negative emotions rather than the love people have for me. My negative thinking overshadows my positive one so I am always complaining, always wondering if anyone will love me. I know everyone is loved, yet I have a hard time really…experiencing it.
Right now, love is an empty emotion for me…I really need to work on my thinkings~ I was just arguing with my brothers just now, so I’m feeling quite negative as of currently (my apologies).
But, I think that my love for things I like (books, interests such as dancing, violin, etc) is definitely there. I think those are obsessions (?) rather than love.
I think this question is too in depth for me, I’m afraid that I cannot answer this well.
Sweet May, I’m just wandering how do you feel towards yourself? Can you look at your self and tell you that you are perfect just the way you are? Will you try? Because you are just perfect the way you are, learning and growing and only becoming more beautifully you :heart:
Thank you so much Ellen, I am trying my best :)
For me Love equals the ability to do to others as you would have them do to you.
Love is faithful, it is everlasting, it is patient and kind. Love can be unconditional or not. It’s an appreciation for another person in spite of or because of their faults and problems. It is possible to love someone but not like them very much. I’ve been loved and I love and life would be sad without love.
Love means accepting accepting a person for what they are. Love means that warm, happy feeling you get when you are near, or think about the object of your love. Love means feeling safe, and appreciated. Do I really know what love means? I know that I love my children, without a doubt, even the one that I do not like very much. I know I did love my ex, but that I do not anymore, even when I think about the life that we shared. I say I love coffee, and chocolate, and cosmos, and when all my patients sleep safely at the same time and I can take a break in peace. I know that my children love me, even when they are ignoring me, and I feel left out. I know that my children love each other, even when they feel that each other’s choices are flawed. And I know that they love their dad, even though they are angry with him, and even though I no longer do (and they know that as well). But I really don’t know that I do know what love means.
Love is feeling part of Something Greater than myself, a feeling of being “home” with myself in the Presence of that Greater Self.
Love actually to me is feeling connected toThe Source, the Place inside my Highest Self that exists simply because the Spark of Divine breathed me into existence.
Love is the warm, knowing part of my feeling consciousness that feels love:
for God, for myself, for friends and family, for people I have never met,
for a cherished love relationship, for Mother Nature, for a pet, for animals,
for breathing life into one’s purpose.
Love is warm memories.
Love is the feeling of warmth I feel in my heart when I help others, or give freely to others.
Love is when I feel joyful for others’ reaching their goals and realizing their dreams come true.
Love, feeling it and receiving it gives me rosy cheeks.
It makes me feel full, nurtured, fulfiled in and of itself.
Love is a river that unites the two banks on the opposite sides of its constant Flow.
Bett
Surprisingly, I find it hard to describe love in words or phrases. So move on to feeling and emotion. Upon reading or hearing the word ‘love’ if feel extremely happy and joyful.
And I found when I’m happy and joyful. I’m feeling the emotion of love. I can smile towards others, nice to others, content, and at peace.
Love is a total commitment to the ultimate good of the beloved.
Love is not a mere feeling…it goes beyond that, into wordless devotion.
Love is not a breeze at it’s zenith,
But a river at it’s deepest…
Love sacrifices the self for Good.
A few good movies that illustrate this are:
Fireproof
Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
I Have Found It
Stardust
A good song: “Love Is Not A Fight”–Warren Barfield
Love is a Person, the Divine Source of the Universe. God.
Thanks for sharing the song :)
It means more than what I recieve in life. I am always the one looking for ways to express my love in every relationship in my life as a mom wife sister daughter niece member in church. What has really been a drastic hardship is discovering others have their own definintion of love and it is not returning love as I freely give them.
Hi Karen,
I am sure there are many people happy to share how you express you love in relationships. Everyone wants different things and probably not exactly the same as you from a relationship. I find that by focusing more on people who respond gives a warmer response because they are already open to share.
Bob
What does love mean to me? To me it means caring for someone unconditionally and having the willingness to do anything for that person. Love is acceptance, friendship beyond words, and devotion to one another. It’s the reason I can’t wait to get home at night from work.
I used to think nobody, aside from my family, could love me. For a while, I doubted if even my family loved me anymore. For me, love happened when I least expected it, and I am happy to share that with my spouse. I have realized that many people can love you without ever saying it, but I do tell my husband I love him everyday.
And I also love tea. I can’t wait to get home at night for that either, lol. :)
Love to me right now is nothing more than feeling compassion for fellow humankind or earthlings. It fuels me for what I’m doing and with whom I’m hanging out or having a conversation.
Love is a pure power
It is not an emotion, because emotions are transitory
Love lies under the emotions
Love is the opposite of fear
It is the embodiment of courage
Fear fades in the presence of true love
Love is unconditional
It sees through the scars of the world
Love sees beauty
This is what love means to me at least, what I’ve found from my experience.
So beautifully and creatively written!
Thanks, Iva!
..this is beautiful! thanks!
Absolutely beautiful Laurel. Great poem about love and the beauty of it unconditionally.
Thank you for sharing! xx :love:
Love is the most beautiful experience a human being ever go through. It is impossible for any human being to become loveless at all because Love is God. God is love, because He loves us so much that each one of us received His greatest gift – LOVE. Love is a wonderful and a greatest feeling especially when we experience it with respect, dignity, unconditional, sharing, happiness with peace because love is sacred. On the contrary, if Love is misuse, taken for granted, abused, then it is the worst thing a human being would ever experience. Just imagine, for example, loving your pet unconditionally, don’t you agree that you will experience unforgettable experience in your life because we feel so blessed with God’s infinite love. God bless us all with His love, peace, and wisdom.
:love: Love is an incredibly beautiful emotion that I cannot describe in words. I feel it for the people or things that I care for, have emotional attachment, be attracted to, feel affection or any similar feelings.
Absolutely. Love is one of the hardest emotions to express on paper. It is SO easy to express ones love to others and inwards. I think love is as you said “the people or things that I care for, have emotional attachment, be attracted to, feel affection or any similar feelings.”
Beautiful! :dance:
All the Best of Friendship and Love,
Ezzy xxxx
Love is elation, sadness, happiness, joy, concern, respect, honor, dedication, acceptance, denial, pride, jealous, infinite.
It makes the world go round.
It makes the world fall apart.
Love, to me, is the bond that connects me to everyone else in the world.
Love is the most important thing in life, life’s most precious gift. It means accepting people as they are- unconditional. The feeling that motivates you to help, nurture and protect your dear ones even they themselves do not realize they need it. It’s about never giving up on them, helping them grow and encouraging them to reach for the stars.
Someone told me that love is when you can both kill and DIE for a person.
Thankfully, love begets love. So I have lots of people around me who support me in everything I do, who rejoice in my happiness and success, lend a strong shoulder during my lows and help me learn from my failures.
True love empowers you and gives you the confidence of conquering the whole world.
Love has so many meanings, depending on the person/thing you love. But I have learned that love comes in all shapes and sizes. I used to not understand my husbands love for me, he told me he loved me, but he didn’t do the things that I thought he should to show his love for me, then one day it dawned on me, he loves me in his own way, he does so many things for me every day that shows his love for me. They are simple, complex, silly, serious, not the things that I would have chosen to show love, but it is how he loves me. I am sure that he is just as confused sometimes by how I show my love for him. It amazes me, we have been married for almost 30 years now. He was my biggest crush in middle school when he didn’t even know I existed, he was still my crush in high school when he thought I was his “buddy”, I just kept hanging in there and he eventually saw me! We married very young (he was 19, I was 18), we could have very easily grown apart, but instead we have grown side by side. In our early years we had the excited, passionate love that young love shows, but over time it has grown to the contented love that two people have when they just enjoy being… together, enjoying each others company or apart and thinking about the other – what they are doing, where they are, are they thinking of you… As I was sitting here reading today’s question and looking at some of your answers and he is watching tv, he looked at me and simply said… “I love you!”. :heart:
…i celebrate this with you. am happy to hear your love story, and to have it for 30 years and growing! that is so wonderful. you are so blest! we all are so blest! thanks for sharing!
Its Lovely. :clap:
Love is confidence; appreciation; acceptance; trust; communication; kindness; sharing.
Love means never giving up on one another.
Love means giving second chances and working towards better self, with support and encouragement.
Love means fighting with your siblings then and becoming best friends now.
Love means accepting who your family is and still be proud of them.
Love means being geared up to do what drives you forward and never get tired of them.
Love means the smile on your face when you see others benefited from you.
Love means sacrificing.
Love means unconditional giving.
Love means the strongest motivator and de-motivator for any being.
Love is:
empathy
acceptance
unconditional
forgiving
humility
self-sacrifice
compromise
apologies
listening without judging
giving without having to receive
never-ending
unbreakable
happiness
essential
life-altering
exhausting
Love is ever evolving and growing, changing shape and texture. If you grow and change with it, love never dies. The love you feel for a spouse or loved one is just as important to your well-being as the love of a favorite food or pastime. The happiness that you can find in love of even something that small as a favorite movie or favorite pet, will be seen, felt and shared by those around you and can engender love to spring forth somewhere else where it is needed. :heart:
Love mean power to me. Without love, I can not do anything. Love is the power that urge to do everything I like, meet people that I love. Love is the kind of inner communication in myself.
What words or phrases would you use to describe love?
A state of being.
How do you identify if you are feeling the emotion of love, or something else?
I don’t think I felt love, but even if I did, I don’t remember it. I would love to experience it. But now, I think love has nothing to do with lust (in case of a lover) an I think real love is unconditional. I think it is a joyous feeling that drives me closer to other people, whether I know the people or not. I think it is the feeling of wanting intimation with other people or just loving their company.
What does the word ‘love’ mean to you?
I believe we all have love inside of us. It is because of our thoughts about love that hinders/ makes us from receiving/giving love. If I have the thoughts that love is an emotion not to be felt, then these thoughts will hinder me from experiencing love. I think love comes out from the moments when we are just being and not trying. It is a joyous emotion towards ourselves and others. It makes us want to connect to others. To me, it is a sweet feeling that drives us to get closer to others. These are what I think of the definition of love. Of course these answers are just my opinions ;)
My attitude about love has changed over the years. I used to associate it with romantic love and attachment to family and friends.
Now I think it as more of an expression performed by myself. By performing service for the benefit of others, I am committing love. These others could be the family, friends, and lovers mentioned above. But by taking the actions of service with a loving attitude in my heart, I connect with myself as well as those I am benefitting.
And love is the purpose of life.
love means being apreciated and cared for as well as appreciate and care for others. Romantic love is very common concept in today’s society but i do know there are other kinds of love such as the love between siblings, between parent and child and good friends. I remember hearing how my dad was saying ew blah blah said he loved blah blah and i told him he said he loved him he wasn’t IN love with him and that makes a difference. Love is such a concept that we think things would be easier but that usually applies to things we like and perhaps that’s a form of love to, a favorite song, outfit or food is a type of love as well and it makes you think love doesn’t have to be overly complicated: it can be simple and pleasant but it can also cause problems too. Still just because you don’t want to see something doesn’t mean one should gouge their eyes. its about learning how to love accordingly ;)
Love for me means sharing caring respectful warm heart felt relationships, giving without conditions, spontaneity openness and frankness.
Sharing, showing I care through my thoughts and actions. This can be as simple as smile, a helping hand for a friend, an inspirational word, positive motivation by doing something with someone. Helping people to bring out the very best in themselves being a light giver not a light extinguisher.
Love shows depth, warmth, protection and kindness, happiness being supportive of people building them up instead of knocking them down. A feeling of acceptance and understanding, being with someone completely in the moment. Looking at the positive side of every situation and enjoying thoroughly what I am doing. Preparing a surprise for someone, giving my time freely without restrictions.
The power of love is monumental, it is our sunshine that radiates and vibrates through everything we do.
I’m going to come back to this question, I”m not in the right mind frame at the moment.
In general, love means different things to me in different phases of my life.
* As a baby/child – it means security, comfort, home, food, toys, dependence, etc.
* As a student – it means acceptance, sharing, friendship, etc.
* As a working adult – it means acceptance, giving your best, success, etc.
* As a single woman looking for the man of my dreams – it means acceptance of the other person as is and vice versa, opening my heart, trust and faith to build a life together, sharing the same vision, etc.
* As a mother – it means acceptance, sacrifice, understanding, etc.
Basically, love to me means acceptance of the good, the bad and the ugly of the other person — whether it’s your family member, spouse, friends, colleagues, etc. You look beyond the imperfections and the vulnerabilities and accept the person as is.
many of the postings resonate with me, both my concept and practice of love. love for me is definitely not just an emotion, a feeling, as that makes love fleeting. in fact, i think a true test of love, is to still care and honor yourself and the other party/parties in a love/loving relationship…when the loving is difficult.
i agree with all the associations we have of love — feeling good when we are with the person we love, sharing, being happy-goofy together, crying together, supporting each other, seeing each other through the rough and tumble of life that came to you both, making love, making sweet harmony together, growing old…but i want to also say that it is when the person of affection isn’t as lovable, as pleasant, as easy to be with, or as accessible, or is non-reciprocal, for one reason or the other (like he is in his “cave” because he wants to deal with his situation on his own, or has to find himself…)…then love like this is what i call, loving when the loving is difficult. that love is tested, challenged and “purified” when finally the relationship survives the shadows one has to face. this is not to say that i tolerate abuse or violence. i draw the line there. but sometimes, the one we love is, for some reason not on the same emotional page as you are…because they themselves are in a state of flux…i think that if you really love that person, you will be patient, you will give him space, and support in a non-intrusive way, and trust that they will eventually make it through the “dark” (whatever that is for them). and see and value that you sat with them though it all.
love is freely given, with no strings-attached, no demands, no obligations, no expectations (unless these have been an agreed-upon terms with the parties involved), no boundaries (though basic is respect of one’s rights, and no violence or abuse), consensual, a negotiation. it is evolving. it is open to changes, even if such changes means letting go. it is giving support for each other’s growth and expansion, even if sometimes, that growth and expansion takes the other to a place that is not in consonance with the other. sometimes, even taking the other to a place of loving other people.
it is refreshed daily. it is not forever, as forever is a fairytale and can be like painting yourself in a corner, a trap. parties though can and will try to work for a duration. arrangements like being married, should have an expiration date, where parties can assess how it has been for them, and decide if they would like to continue, based on the principles, values and terms they want at the moment of evaluation.
it is also very important that people in love are whole persons, or are walking “O’s” (from Celestine Prophecy) and not walking “C’s” waiting for another to complete you (not like in Jerry McGuire’s line of “you complete me!”), because that is putting an impossible demand on the other to address your needs, your happiness, and each party should be 100% responsible for oneself. i like the lines (sorry i forgot who wrote this)…you are you/ as i am i./ and if by chance we meet,/ it’s beautiful!
and last (for now)…we often hear the line, “am sorry, i did not mean to hurt you!” between people who say they love each other…yes, that’s okay. but i think also, that those who truly love and care for each other, will only hurt each other deliberately — meaning that the choices one took, the decisions taken have been thought over and over, many times, weighing in even the possibility that pursuing that choice/decision towards self-authentication, could hurt the other, not because the intent is to hurt, but because it may not be what the other want. people who care for each other will not mindlessly hurt each other, because if they do, then that means they did the “hurting” thing, with no thought of the other. that is a cop-out. that is not conscious loving.
Love is a complicated subject. How do you define love? How do you know whether love exists?
To me, love at first sight obviously has to do with romance. Everyone loves to be loved or to be engaged in love with someone else, usually a member of the opposite sex. We build a special relationship with our partner, and live happily for the rest of our lives.
Thinking deeper about it, love also comes from various sources. We are being loved by our parents, we are being loved by our friends, and for me, we are also loved by our bosses.
So what does love mean? It is hard to define, but it has to do with a mix of some sort of liking and some sort of caring from the real heart.
In short, love is hard to express. In a longer version…
Love is what everyone do. Everyone loves – but we love different people. To me, these 2 are most important (for a 10-year old girl :p) – family and friends.
It’s kind of awkward to say I don’t love my brother. It’s unlikely that it’s sibling jealously because I can see that we are both being treated equally. I think that it’s from the fact that my brother bullies me. It’s usually verbal abuse (quarelling over something for ages) but there are times where it is physical (him kicking me). But apart from my brother, family applies totally for me.
Secondly – friends. Friends are a part of our lives and we go through ups and downs together. So, yeah, it applies.
But coming back to what love is… It varies from different relationships (family and friends) so let me split them up. Before that though, what I’m going to list is what happens between two people (it may apply for animals too!) when love between the two of them are concerned.
**Family love**
– Talk freely about anything concerning/worrying them without limits
– Able to apologise for any wrongdoings
– Face-to-face meet ups. Time can vary
– Spend time together for recreational stuff
– Treat people of the same generation equally, but each one as unique individuals
– Help when in need
– Takes care of each other’s needs
– Provide each other enough money
**Friend love**
– Talk about some things concerning/worrying them
– Able to apologise for any wrongdoings
– Communication – face-to-face or across the phone/Internet/etc.. (Stronger ties if the communication is face-to-face)
– Treat each other well
– Help when in need
—
Quite obviously, family members need to show more things in order for them to declare 100% honestly that they love other members of their family than friends.
BTW, I created the list by considering what characteristics I would like someone to display as (a) a family member and (b) a friend.
“That love is all there is, is all we know of love,” said Emily Dickinson. :love:
For me love can be best described as a very strong feeling that is deep down in the pit of your stomach. You experience this feeling when you are around that special somebody or when you happen to be thinking about them. These strong feelings can be of affection, attraction and enjoyment. In a way, it is kind of like all three of these feelings rolled up into one super emotion. Many people feel extremely wonderful when they experience this. I nearly fainted when I met my husband at the gym!
When you are truly in love, you will know it. Firstly you will have a solid and honest love for yourself. This is paramount. Secondly you will feel extremely comfortable around this person, almost to the point of losing all of your inhibitions. Thirdly you will feel a strong attraction to that person and you will want to be near and close to them all the time. And lastly you will be super sensitive to their feelings, desires, and needs. When you experience all of this, you will have found true love at last.
Once you understand the Meaning of Love then you can truly harness its power. This is when you will be ready to get the most out of life and be ready to receive everything great that is coming your way. When you truly love another person then you will feel things that only a handful of people on this planet ever experience. Isn’t that a great thought? When it really comes down to it, the Meaning of Love can mean different things to different people. We all have unique romantic situations and you must work on doing what is best for you. And seriously, take heed to what I said before…you must first learn to love yourself. That is the key.
I believe this is the meaning of love to me… :dance:
xx Ezzy xx
Whilst fear is a contraction and diminishes us, love is an expansion and opens us up. I believe we are all beings of love at the core and our path in life is to strengthen and celebrate that connection within us and between us. So easy to say, so hard to practise.
This is a beautiful thought, Lottie! Well articulated.
Beautiful – thank you for sharing Lottie! xx
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