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“The first step towards change is awareness.” — Nathaniel Branden
Do you have a clear direction for your life? What life-long goals and dreams do you have for your life, career, health, relationships, wealth, and spirituality? Are you actively pursuing them? Or are you keeping them stashed at the back of your mind?
Sleepwalkers – these are people who live their lives in an unconscious state. Being conscious is not about being physically awake. Many people are physically awake, yet living unconsciously. They are not fully aware of who they are, the larger context of life they are a part of, and their real purpose in life.
Sleepwalkers look like any one of us, but are just physical shells living their lives as drones. Have you ever seen people with no clarity of their life? People who live on a day-to-day basis, never thinking about the future or what they want? These people are not able to articulate what their life is about. Every day, they run around doing various activities such as working, playing, partying, sleeping, and eating, but none of it has any relation to life in the bigger scheme of things. Their daily existence is what they have come to know as life.
These people are the sleepwalkers.
How do you know if you are a sleepwalker? Here are 8 signs to watch out for:
1. Lack of awareness of the bigger picture
What is life to you? Is it just about going to school/work, going home, eating, sleeping, and having fun in between? Unlike what some may think, life is more than what’s in your sight. There is a far bigger world out there, outside of you, your work, family, friends, and religion. Sleepwalkers are not aware of life in the bigger scheme of things. They do not see their life is part of the universe, as part of human history, and as part of something greater than what they see every day. What do you think of your life in terms of?
2. Not living in alignment with real purpose
Do you know what your life purpose is? Do you have a clear vision of what you want your life to be 10, 20, and 30 years from now? Or is it fuzzy and undetermined? Sleepwalkers are not aware of their life purpose. They have ambiguous, sketchy purposes that they were fed with at some point in their lives. Some have an idea of their goals and dreams, but they put them in the back burner to pursue things that others expect them to do.
3. Life runs on auto-pilot
Are you ‘going through the motions’ or ‘running the rat race’ every day? Sleepwalkers live their lives on auto-pilot, repeating the same things daily with no conscious control over them. They live through the weekdays, looking forward to Fridays and weekends, where they recharge themselves for yet another dead week ahead. This cycle continues week after week, with no end in sight. They are too entrenched into the cycle to do anything about it.
Occasionally things happen which derail this loop, such as the transition to a different life phase, changing careers, loss of a job, loss of a long-term relationship, etc. Some people call this a mid-life crisis. When this happens, they get a wake up call. They start to realize that they have not been living life. At this point, some may start to take action on their lives. Some scurry back into their rat wheel, convincing themselves that their current life is the best one, even when it isn’t.
4. Engaging in non-value activities
When sleepwalkers are not going through the motions, they fill the gaps with random activities. This includes addictions such as playing games, partying, eating, watching TV, surfing the net aimlessly, shopping, and complaining. The person is often not able to stop it until something cuts him/her off, such as time to sleep or eat. He or she is also not able to articulate a clear reason for engaging in the activity, other than “Because it is fun,” “I like it,” and “There is nothing else to do.”
5. Passive or avoidance approach to life
Sleepwalkers have a passive stance in life. They roll along with the punches and manage them as they come along. Control is something they relinquish to people around them. Asking ‘Why?’, questioning existing establishments, and taking charge of things in their lives are just not in their nature.
Sometimes they find themselves trapped and unhappy with where they are, such as their relationships or work. However, they remain passive because they do not see any way out. When asked about their reactive behavior, they reply with “I want to, but [insert reason].” They are under the perception that what they are doing is temporary sacrifice for a better, long-term future.
They dislike conflict and try to avoid issues as much as possible. After a while of avoidance, the unresolved issue will culminate to a breaking point, screaming for attention. The sleepwalker’s automatic reaction is to avoid and drown it out by engaging in numbing activities. Unfortunately, this does not resolve anything and the problem surfaces again in the future, in a different way. An analogy would be an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Just because you refuse to acknowledge a problem doesn’t mean it’s not there.
6. No time to do the things you want
Sleepwalkers are often busy all the time. They frequently complain about not having enough time. But they do not realize that they are the ones who put themselves in that position in the first place. When questioned by other people, they cannot put a finger to where all the time has gone to. Sleepwalkers are always waiting for a proverbial ‘next time’ for their goals, but they do not realize that ‘next time’ never comes. By the time they do, a long time has already passed, and now they switch to thinking that it’s now ‘too late’ to work on their goals.
7. Unconscious of your thoughts/emotions
Did you know that 60,000 thoughts run through your mind every day? What thoughts dominate your mind each day? What were you thinking and feeling before you started reading this article? Sleepwalkers constantly have cluttered minds. In addition, they have low awareness of the thoughts occupying their mind.
8. Lack of motivation or ambition
Sleepwalkers are not very motivated or driven in their lives. They live simply because they are here. They spend their lives living other peoples’ expectations to make something out of their lives. While some of them have personal goals and dreams, they ignore them in pursuit of other things which they feel they ‘need’ to do.
Does any of the criteria above describe your situation or anyone around you?
My life as a sleepwalker
Up till 2006, I was living my life as a sleepwalker. I was busy pursuing inculcated goals such as getting good results, earning money, and becoming successful. I was caught in the paper chase, such as scoring in projects and exams, getting a high GPA, and being on the Dean’s List. I was busy earning money from the side with my designing business and tuition. My life was single-mindedly focused on what would make me rich and successful.
When I was not busy doing these, I would be playing games with my friends, indulging in excessive materialism through shopping, going out with friends, watching/rewatching my favorite dramas, chatting online, or just surfing random sites. I still remember the games my friends and I were addicted to then were Ragnarok Online, Maple Story, Gunbound, and Warcraft 3. My favorite shows were Buffy, Angel, Charmed, Friends, and American Idol, among others.
As I grew up, I slowly gained consciousness through random encounters in my life. However, I was still largely a sleepwalker living out the visions of marketers and society. I lacked my own overarching vision in life. It was when I was about to graduate that I was jolted awake.
When it comes to education in Singapore (or any developed society for that matter), everything has already been segmented in stages of primary school, secondary school, junior college/polytechnic and/or university. As students, all we have to do is to score well enough to progress from one stage to the next.
Graduation from university however, marks the end of the road. This is where the forkroads appear.
My imminent graduation forced me to think if this was what I wanted to do for life. It made me think of the actual meaning my life was based on. When I looked at the bigger context of life, I found out that external, ego-based achievements do not matter in the long run – they are physical possessions which are impermanent. They are definitely valuable right now, maybe even more so 10 years later. But how about 100 years later? 1,000 years later? When I looked ahead, it became obvious that this is not how I want the rest of my life to play out.
As I wrote in Two Important Things that Led Me to Discover My Life Purpose (over 6,600 word article on how I found my purpose), I eventually found my real purpose – to help others achieve their fullest potential and live their best possible life. It is my life vision to wake up all other sleepwalkers and unlock all the potential that is in them. Fast forward to two years later in 2008 – this blog is created as one of my mediums to achieve that vision. :)
Sleepwalkers around us
Whenever I look around me, I see sleepwalkers droning their lives away. People running fervently in the rat race and their rat wheels. People busy earning money for a better life. People who do not know what their lives really stand for. People wasting their existence away. People denying themselves of what they really want. People not knowing what they truly want.
Every day, it simply charges me up so much to see all the potential in these people waiting to be unleashed. There are times when I feel like just grabbing them to shake them out of their stance!
Similarly, I’m energized when I see sleepwalkers waking up from their dreams. :D It can be due to life transitions, wake-up calls, or timely epiphanies. In the past few years, I have seen people from both my previous workplace and social circle who woke up from their auto-pilot sequence and made hard decisions to pursue what they truly want to do. Whenever that happens, I will feel a surge of warmth, because I know that whatever they do from hereon, everything will fall into place as long as they keep their focus.
Waking up from your dream
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Maybe you just found out that you have been sleepwalking your life away. When you first wake up from your dream, you may be shocked at how much of your real life has gone by while you were sleeping. You may be angry at yourself. You may be upset. You may even be depressed. This is perfectly fair.
The most important thing is what you do after waking up. Are you going to delude yourself and go back to sleep, pretending that your revelations never happened? Or are you going to courageously face reality and start leading the life you are meant to live?
It is akin to when Morpheus offered Neo the red pill and blue pill in The Matrix. The red pill reflects the truth — the reality. The blue pill reflects the dream — your life as you used to know it. The red pill is what’s going to liberate you and help you achieve your best life ever. The blue pill represents a path of denial – denying who you truly are and what you are meant to do on Earth.
Recognize that you have power over your situation and you can start acting on it, right now. Through conscious action, you can pave the path for the life you want. Every day, I make choices and take actions which move me closer to my goals. And you can definitely do the same too. No matter where you are in life right now, no matter who you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to be who you are meant to be. Unless you act on what you want, nothing is going to come out of it.
It is easy to go back to sleep – back to the life you knew. But is it what you really want to do? Is this how you are meant to live out your existence? Are you really living your best life this way?
What to do after you wake up
If you decide to pick the red pill and wake up from your dream, congratulations! This is where your real life begins. :D Here are some articles to start with:
- Discover Your Real Purpose series (7-part series). There is a lot of information in here, including important factors to consider when defining your purpose, an exercise to find your life purpose, and how to pursue your purpose after discovering it.
- You Are The CEO of Your Life. Look at your life as a CEO, and assess how you are living your life.
- Get Your Big Rocks In First. What are the big rocks in your life? Are they in place?
The path ahead will not be smooth. It will be challenging, it will be rocky, and you may even feel like quitting at times. But I can guarantee you that the happiness and quality of life you will find on this path will be significantly greater than if you were to live out your life as a drone. I guarantee you that you will find more fulfillment on this path compared to anything you ever did.
I will end this article with a quote from Socrates in the movie Peaceful Warrior: “Death isn’t sad. The sad thing is: most people don’t live at all.”
This is part of the Conscious Living series.
- 7 Important Reasons Why You Should Set Goals
- Are You Sleepwalking Your Life Away?
- Are You Sleepwalking Your Life Away? Part 2
- Discover Your Real Life Purpose (7-Part Series)
- Bucket List: 101 Things To Do Before You Die
Update on Jan 9, 2009: We appeared on the front page on Digg on January 6! The listing has thrown everything off the record, link backs sprang up from Delicious popular page, different forums, and social networking sites, among other sites. So far, we have over 23,000 new readers coming in and counting – this surpasses the visitor target I had set for the month of January. :) Thanks to everyone who dugg the article, and welcome to all new visitors :) Please check out the articles section for all the articles that have been posted so far.
At the same time, I have received a lot of emails/comments on this article. I have written a follow-up post to reply to all feedback. Read them in Are You Sleepwalking Your Life Away? Part 2
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I feel that I’ve been sleepwalking for the last 5 years, succombing to the belief that I need to sacrifice dreams while I was laying down the foundation for the rest of my life.
While I still did what I enjoyed, it wasn’t at the level of passion I felt was possible or had previously and that bothered me greatly. My capacity for joy had shrunk from being underused.
Now that I realize it, I am focusing energy to this part of me again and it has not been easy to awaken again but is mandatory to do if I wish to be fully engage in life.
Thanks for a great post.
Wow, great post.
You know, I always relay to others that we’re all in a process. It’s true. There’s no room for judgement as we’re all at different points in our transition to becoming whoever we were meant to be. Sleepwalking is such a reality of that process. I’m glad at some point (hopefully) we all wake up.
Really, a great post!
Middle Way@ I’m elated that you have made the conscious choice to stay awake! It is common fallacy of our society today to think that we should ‘sacrifice’ short-term happiness for a better future. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can have enjoy both short-term, AND long-term. It is about living in the now! After I came to the realization, I ensure that the decisions I make in life allow me to be living with my purpose every step of the way, vs a deferrence of enjoyment to future approach.
VeRonda@ Thank you – I’m glad you found value in the post! I have absolutely no doubt that all of us will wake up eventually – in the meantime, we all need agents of change (those who have already woken up) working hand-in-hand to bring to life that end vision :D
Hello Celes.
You have brought up a point that some think about often, in that they notice others that are not as focused, or not focused at all. One might say to leave them alone until they wake up from a circularly-passive condition. It might also be good to actively push them toward activity. I would say that the gauge of whether to try to influence less active people toward activity would be whether they seem like they want a change from their current state. As well, a highly-motivated individual might even mentally poke the individuals that seem like they are not interested in changing their routine.
Sounds like Somebody’s been reading the Celestine Prophesy
James Redfield, he’s got some interesting ideas,
………Wake UP!!!
Maybe I’ll read it again, liked the first book the best
Armen@ Thanks for your comment! For sure, it is up to the onus of the sleepwalkers to choose to wake up. The only things that those who are awake can do is just nudge them in the right direction and drop hints of a waking life outside. I have found that to be the most effective vs trying to force awake people.
Shea@ Have not read The Celestine Prophecy before, but I’ve heard a lot about it! Should probably check it out too given the book title has the same name as mine :)
I’d just like to say thank you for such an uplifting article. My brother passed away last week and I have been doing much soul-searching since. Your article has given me hope to find something more meaningful in my life and I plan to begin working on finding my real purpose this evening.
I’ve read what you’ve been writing and I’m some what intrigued. But I think you’re missing something…something very crucial. All I can say is that your desire to better the world and the people in it, if that is done simply in and of itself your desire for purpose and meaning will never be fulfilled. It has to be more than that… because there is even something beyond ‘being at the height of conciousness’ that gives meaning to man’s life. There is Another (as the great yoda once said, lol.) It has to be thisway… because like I said, when you are at this height of awareness your desires for fulfillment will not be sufficed. I think you’re right that setting arbitrary goals will never be enough, and I think you are settling for something very similar in your proposed ‘purpose in life’. Rather, I think there is something very important in the search to KNOW that which gives us purpose, the thing that we have to accept is beyond our own means, or knowledge. The beyond, the mystery, destiny. The meaning you just know is out there but can’t quite give it a name…
I might be going beyond what I can effectively communicate, but if you want some seriously good reading, you should check out ‘The Religious Sense’ by Luigi Giussani. You can read more about him at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luigi_Giussani or clonline.org
If this sounds like a religious advertisement, I apologise in advance… I normally wouldn’t bother, but what you’ve written is probrably the most interesting thing I’ve read in the past few months online. If you’re serious about this ‘life’ thing you speak of then you might just wanna check out that book.
I have known that I have been sleepwalking for years. I’m only 23 but I feel as if all my life has been wasted to the grind, committed to a purpose that I don’t care about at all. I don’t know how to wake up. I struggle daily with the fact that my life has no meaning, but I can’t find one to attach to it.
Bah, this article is boring I’m hitting the snooze button. ;-)
Just kidding, actually a very good article. I’m glad to see it’s not one of those religious traps and just an actual site that has some good content. Subscribing to RSS.
In my opinion: You seem sincere, and many of your statements have merit. However, I’ve come across several people who have had an epiphany such as yours, the result being a self-help / motivational speaking career built around a blog and seminars.
Could you relate any experiences you may have had with people that have “awakened” and pursued other life paths?
I truly mean no disrespect- A long time ago, a professor that taught a philosophy class in which I had excelled asked me to consider pursuing a Doctorate in the field. I was flattered- I respected the man and enjoyed the course. Upon further reflection, however, I declined – The only reason I could find to earn a PhD in Philosophy was to teach others to earn a PhD in Philosophy. This isn’t to say that Philosophy is not a worthwhile endeavor- It is very much so, for some. In my reasoning, though, it didn’t -produce- anything else(In retrospect, I probably would have made a rotten philosopher).
Each time I come across an article such as this, I look to the author for inspiration- only to find a fraction of what I hoped to find when there are no examples of the principles at work in others’ lives… lives and careers that transcend the author’s direct experience.
In my opinion, finding experiences of others whose mindset parallel your own, yet exist in an entirely different context would expand the effectiveness of, and audience to your efforts.
I am sleepwalking as I type this.. I need help and I want to wake up!!!
I’ve been traumatized by my father’s situation and chose to succumb to my circumstances, and die.
I am not living at all! I admit that I’ve been failing myself and everyone around me. I admit that I’ve surrendered to all what’s been happening.. I need to make a powerful and courageous decision..
I choose think that I can’t do this alone, but I MUST do it on my own!
Thank you, for posting this, and thank my friend who linked me into this.
I need a big smack on the head to wake me up!
Dina
To: Celes,
Inspiring stuff, keep working.
Chris
To: Chuck,
I agree with you.
Chris
Thanks for this wonderful post.
To everyone who has left a comment/dropped me an email about this article, thank you! :) I am currently writing a follow-up post to reply to all feedback. Expect it to come over the next few days; please stay tuned. :)
muiro:
I read your reply and I felt I should reply to you. I may be entirely wrong, so please forgive me if I am.
You say you don’t know how to wake up, what you need to know is that you are awake to even know to say that.
You say that you struggle daily with the fact that your life has no meaning, and I believe it’s true that your life has no meaning. But your life having no meaning for you also has no meaning, it’s simply what’s so for you at this moment.
You say you can’t find a meaning to attach to it, and this sounds like you’re looking everywhere for some elusive meaning to connect to your life. This is why you have not found it. The only meaning of your life comes from within you. There is no meaning or purpose for your life “out there” to find, you already have your life purpose and it’s simply a matter of consciously becoming aware of it.
The best advice I can offer to you is to stop looking at the outside world, the world around you for your meaning or purpose. Start acknowledging to yourself what’s within you, and these things will become clear to you. You are already whole and complete as a person, you need nothing more than to discover all of that and learn to recognize yourself within you. I think you only lack being in touch with yourself.
I can relate to atleast three of the 8 things listed in your article. Does that make me a sleepwalker ? Come to think of it, only a minuscule percentage of people will not fall in any of the 8 signs listed above. That means a majority of us are sleepwalkers of one sort or another. :-)
I’m reminded of the quote “Not all who wander are lost.” It’s perhaps wrong to be dismissive of those who deliberately live the wandering lifestyle sampling whatever is blown in on the wind or whatever one encounters while riding that wind. Such a life can be as legitimate as that of someone who plans every moment down to the minutest of detail.
Having said all that, your point is well taken that there are many who simply sleepwalk in apathy … which can hardly be called living. Still, let’s not dismiss those who believe too much planning or maybe even average amounts of forethought can often dull the adventure.
Hi everyone! The follow-up to this post is up here :) I’ve addressed the bulk of the feedback/questions I’ve received in the article.
Are You Sleepwalking Your Life Away? (Part 2)
https://personalexcellence.co/blog/2009/01/are-you-sleepwalking-your-life-away-part-2/
Celes,
I am amazed by your brilliant writing skills and deep insight.Yet it was so lucid and simple.I should thank you for taking the extra effort and sharing your ideas and realization to everybody.
sankarsan@ Thank you for taking the time to drop a comment :) You are too kind! I’m extremely glad my writings is of value to you. Look forward to seeing more of you around here! :)
Hi Celes,
This is one of the best articles I have read in awhile and I am not just saying that. You bring out a certain truth in our lives and really dig deep to the core of it. And you wrote a part 2!
We all are sleepwalkers at times. Sometimes being on autopilot is a good thing. Especially if we are headed in the direction we want to go. With that being said, there is hardly anything else I could possibly disagree with.
And, we happen to have the same life purpose. To inspire people and wake them up to their potential. You may want to narrow it down further or revise it as you go. Im focusing on working with teens, college age people, business managers, and want to be entrepreneurs. I think now that you have found your purpose (the what), you still need to find “the who”. ;-)
Cheers,
Jeremy
Hey Jeremy,
Thanks for your kind comment and it’s great to see you here! :) I think many took away that being on autopilot as equivalent to sleepwalking in my article, but that’s not where I was coming from. Sleepwalking is a state of being where one isn’t aware of his/her conscious role in his/her life. I addressed it in part 2 of the series:
https://personalexcellence.co/blog/2009/01/are-you-sleepwalking-your-life-away-part-2/
Glad to hear that we have the same purpose! :D I agree on the importance of focus, because efforts can become uneffective otherwise. Helping people achieve their highest potential is my overarching purpose that will guide me in my whole life. On my ‘who’, while I haven’t mentioned it on my site before, my focus area is primarily working adults, corporates and upwards, since I feel they are in the best life stage to start shaping their life :)
I’m glad you have a clear picture of your vision – you will certainly have great success in it!
This is an insightful and well done article! Life does have purpose, life does have meaning, and we need to wake up each morning ready to seize it!
I have sleepwalking before but it’s just gone after when I older…
and it isn’t just sleepwalking…
I used to sleepwalk when I was little.
I do my best not to sleepwalk anymore!
Seriously – a good post – just wish my sister would snap out of the ratrace and look at the bigger picture too!
It is that the red pill is SCARY while the blue pill is soooo easy. And this is what is taught in the Bible – the easy way does not lead to heaven, it is the narrow way that leads to eternal glory. If we live our lives of “quiet desperation” we have no one to blame but ourselves. Right now, my life is one of “shouting desperation” trying to make a living in these trying times.
Hi Farmer John! As long as you’re making a conscious effort every day toward your dreams and ideals, you are not sleepwalking. Keep the fire burning inside you and it will lead you to where you want to go! :) If you ever have any problems, feel free to let me know too! :)
Hey Celestine.
I just found your blog and I like it a lot. I can relate to all your feelings because I’m at the same situation as you are and have been, only a few years later because I just launched my website three weeks ago. Finding one’s own purpose in life is the most important thing in life in my opinion, and after finding it, all you need is patience and discipline and everything will work out sooner or later. :)
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