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Tobey's 21DHL Journal
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #21

What a day!! So far today has tested me more than any other since I began the 21DHL. My overall goals have been to live a peaceful and healthy life which is why I've been doing daily yoga and meditation practice and I really felt like it's given me a sense of calm - except for today. I totally lost my temper and was so angry that I found it difficult to speak. :angry:

I was shocked that I lost control so easily. But I guess there's another lesson that I was meant to learn. A peaceful state of mind takes work and it's an ongoing effort. I need to be patient with myself. That's why they say yoga and meditation are a practice. ;)
01-13-2012 01:17 PM
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Post: #22

Tobey: "I guess there's another lesson that I was meant to learn."

That's very insightful. I think when we talk about living in peace, we have this idea of being at peace with OTHERS and don't stop to realize that we also have to be at peace with OURSELVES.

You can look at the situation and learn from it. About the work and ongoing effort to achieve a pieceful state. About what was going on when you lost your temper: e.g. Were you short on sleep that day? Had you been stressing out over something else and that was the last straw? If you can find some thing like that to help you understand what happened, you can use it to maintain control another time. It's all about awareness.

I'm learning that it's ALL about awareness, paying attention, making conscious choices. Starting with being aware of how much water I drink, paying attention to what I eat, making conscious choices about my food and activity... things that 21DHL highlights... and that spreads into attention, awareness, conscious choices in other areas too.

Your awareness and your reaction to it show that you are doing well. Yes, be patient wiht yourself. Be kind to yourself.
01-14-2012 01:45 AM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #23

(01-14-2012 01:45 AM)VickiB Wrote:  Tobey: "I guess there's another lesson that I was meant to learn."

That's very insightful. I think when we talk about living in peace, we have this idea of being at peace with OTHERS and don't stop to realize that we also have to be at peace with OURSELVES.

You can look at the situation and learn from it. About the work and ongoing effort to achieve a pieceful state. About what was going on when you lost your temper: e.g. Were you short on sleep that day? Had you been stressing out over something else and that was the last straw? If you can find some thing like that to help you understand what happened, you can use it to maintain control another time. It's all about awareness.

I'm learning that it's ALL about awareness, paying attention, making conscious choices. Starting with being aware of how much water I drink, paying attention to what I eat, making conscious choices about my food and activity... things that 21DHL highlights... and that spreads into attention, awareness, conscious choices in other areas too.

Your awareness and your reaction to it show that you are doing well. Yes, be patient wiht yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Vicki - you bring up something so important - awareness you're so right it all starts there - I will be patient with myself - so thanks for reminding me I'm moving in the right direction

Today was a great day! I've been working on the most frustrating project with the most frustrating people. But today I had a moment at work where all of the frustration of the last two weeks was swept away and it felt amazing! It felt a lot like my healthy living experience. At first it's great because it's new and exciting. Then when I realize I have to fit my new routine into my daily life it becomes a little tedious. But then I move through it and keep going until finally I see the benefit at the end. Now I admit I measure these benefits in very small ways. My sleep pattern has improved, I experience decreased knee pain and I laugh more throughout the day. But I've let go of the notion that I'll lose five pounds a week until I'm a size 2 - so I guess acceptance is another lesson - man it isn't easy :)
(This post was last modified: 01-14-2012 11:42 AM by TJ322.)
01-14-2012 11:06 AM
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zingfairy Offline
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Post: #24

Congrats Tobey on having a great day!

Glad to hear you're starting to reap some benefits: sleep, less pain and more laughing :)

Well done on your persistence - if it takes 21 days to make something a habit, then you're getting pretty close now! :)

x
01-14-2012 07:12 PM
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nimiprem Offline
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Post: #25

Hello Tobey!
Reading your journal was really interesting! I loved the song you mentioned!(Maxwell - lifetime) Inspiring! :mrgreen:
Your entries are short, yet so manage to tell so much. You're totally going in the right direction! You seem to know what you need and you're doing it!
Cheers! ;)

PS: I learnt so many things in your journal! :)

(01-13-2012 01:17 PM)TJ322 Wrote:  A peaceful state of mind takes work and it's an ongoing effort. I need to be patient with myself. That's why they say yoga and meditation are a practice. ;)

I was just listening to one of my favorite songs by Maxwell - Lifetime. As the songs says - I can let my life pass me by or I just try and try work it all out this lifetime

But then I remind myself that I'm accountable during this challenge - not to the blog or the site but ultimately to me. And then it brings me back to what I think is the real lesson. At the end of the day it's up to me. I have to look at myself in the mirror and live with everything I did or didn't do to meet my goals.
01-15-2012 04:50 AM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #26

(01-15-2012 04:50 AM)nimiprem Wrote:  Hello Tobey!
Reading your journal was really interesting! I loved the song you mentioned!(Maxwell - lifetime) Inspiring! :mrgreen:
Your entries are short, yet so manage to tell so much. You're totally going in the right direction! You seem to know what you need and you're doing it!
Cheers! ;)

PS: I learnt so many things in your journal! :)

(01-13-2012 01:17 PM)TJ322 Wrote:  A peaceful state of mind takes work and it's an ongoing effort. I need to be patient with myself. That's why they say yoga and meditation are a practice. ;)

I was just listening to one of my favorite songs by Maxwell - Lifetime. As the songs says - I can let my life pass me by or I just try and try work it all out this lifetime

But then I remind myself that I'm accountable during this challenge - not to the blog or the site but ultimately to me. And then it brings me back to what I think is the real lesson. At the end of the day it's up to me. I have to look at myself in the mirror and live with everything I did or didn't do to meet my goals.

Thanks for your positive thoughts! It didn't occur to me that my journal would be something anyone could learn from - but I'm so glad you found things you could relate to - this journey had been good for all of us
01-15-2012 10:38 AM
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Post: #27

Today was really interesting - I started a 10 week yoga course at a small local church and as I arrived I noticed that a flurry of activity was taking place. As I walked downstairs I found out that the church was preparing for a large funeral. So for the next the 90 minutes the class heard violins and voices singing amazing grace float above the yoga music. At the conclusion of class we did a 10 minute gong meditation and I felt very strange because I could hear attendees arriving and I didn't want to be disrespectful or interrupt their experience. Our class ran a little late and there was a group of people who were waiting to take our class space. I was worried that I would be in the way so as soon as I could I grabbed all of my things so I could get out of their as quickly as possible. And then a woman who was there for the funeral looked at me and said Oh are you doing yoga? That's wonderful! It's so relaxing! And I paused - I realized that put a lot of pressure on myself for no reason. I was way too worried what others were thinking - So it reminded of something my mom says - No one's focusing on you like you think - they're either focusing on themselves or will forget you after a couple minutes anyway - so just let it go :)
01-15-2012 11:44 AM
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Scorpionsage Offline
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Post: #28

Hey!
I liked your description of your ideal life.
I think everyone wants that kind of life. Most of em just haven't realized it yet.
Its great that you have!
Cheers!

01-15-2012 07:55 PM
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ChuckA Offline
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Post: #29

(01-15-2012 11:44 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  Our class ran a little late and there was a group of people who were waiting to take our class space. I was worried that I would be in the way so as soon as I could I grabbed all of my things so I could get out of their as quickly as possible.
...
I realized that put a lot of pressure on myself for no reason. I was way too worried what others were thinking - So it reminded of something my mom says - No one's focusing on you like you think - they're either focusing on themselves or will forget you after a couple minutes anyway - so just let it go

Your concern is a practical example of being aware of and sensitive to the people around you, which is a good thing. As your mom says, the world is full of people who are focusing only on themselves. I wouldn't completely "let it go", but remain aware and respectful of others and continue to seek balance.

Best wishes on the last week of the challenge.

servus
ChuckA
Getting younger in 2012

I'm raising funds for a mission trip that I'm taking in April 2012 to work with handicapped children in Jamaica. Please support us with your prayers & sign our guest book.
http://www.mustardseed.com/goto/St_Lukes_Apr2012
01-15-2012 10:24 PM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #30

I had a reply to my last post that mentioned seeking balance and I think that is something that is so important for me. When I get focused on something I'm all in - it's an all or nothing adventure. This can bring great rewards but more often it brings great angst. I need to be everything, do everything and have everything. So when it comes to healthy living, I must go to the gym five days a week for 90 minutes or I need to eat 100% raw vegan or wake up every day at 5 am to do 60 minutes of yoga before I go to work. I may be able to do it for a week but then I become overwhelmed with the self-imposed requirements and I end up failing - but it was inevitable, without any flexibility of course I would fail. So herein lies yet another lesson - moderation is the path to success. I hate it when I see the truth (however minor) in cliches.
01-16-2012 11:42 AM
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nimiprem Offline
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Post: #31

(01-16-2012 11:42 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  I had a reply to my last post that mentioned seeking balance and I think that is something that is so important for me. When I get focused on something I'm all in - it's an all or nothing adventure. This can bring great rewards but more often it brings great angst. I need to be everything, do everything and have everything. So when it comes to healthy living, I must go to the gym five days a week for 90 minutes or I need to eat 100% raw vegan or wake up every day at 5 am to do 60 minutes of yoga before I go to work. I may be able to do it for a week but then I become overwhelmed with the self-imposed requirements and I end up failing - but it was inevitable, without any flexibility of course I would fail. So herein lies yet another lesson - moderation is the path to success. I hate it when I see the truth (however minor) in cliches.


moderation is the path to success. SO true! Too much or too less of anything is bad! :)
I'm gonna keep visiting your journal for more enlightening thoughts :mrgreen:
01-16-2012 02:09 PM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #32

Today was a good day - I'm doing my best to be beautifully imperfect and enjoy the day moment by moment - I have a habit of constantly looking for the next best thing. But along the way I'd like to share another one of my favorite recipes - because at the very least one should enjoy what they eat! :D

Quinoa Sunshine Salad

4 cups baby spinach
1 cup quinoa
1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup yellow bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup mango, diced
1/4 cup green onion, chopped

Dressing
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon orange juice, freshly squeezed
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon orange zest

Rinse quinoa thoroughly, place one cup quinoa in a sauce pan with two cups of cold water. Bring the mixture to a boil, cover and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Let cook for about 15 minutes, or until all water is absorbed. Remove from heat. Fluff quinoa with a fork and set aside to cool.
In a small bowl combine all dressing ingredients and mix thoroughly.
In a large bowl combine quinoa, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper and mango.
Pour dressing over salad and mix.
Let the salad sit for 10 minutes to allow the flavors to combine.
Serve salad on top of a bed of baby spinach and garnish with green onions.

Enjoy!!
01-17-2012 11:09 AM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #33

Today was very interesting - I've been experiencing a lot of angst at work and I've used many of the techniques that I've learned in the 21DHL, like deep breathing and becoming aware of my feelings. Basically I've been doing everything to stay in balance and not let external forces control me. So I can see the progression that I've made throughout the last 2 1/2 weeks and I feel really good that. But I have to admit that today I was a little challenged. I have been arguing my opinion for weeks on a work project and it was met with complete resistance. More than that I was repeatedly told I was completely wrong. So it was elevated to our superiors and they agreed with me. I felt so vindicated! :dance: And afterward I wanted to gloat. I wanted to mention it meetings, write about it in e-mails and honestly just rub it in their face. But I know that wouldn't be appropriate, and I used the same techniques to remain calm and bring myself back to a balanced place. Although I can't lie - I did do a little dance in my cubicle by myself - so that shows some progress! :D
01-18-2012 10:12 AM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #34

Good day overall - I've been following my plan faithfully and I've seen some great things. Probably one of the most significant has been reduced knee pain. In late November 2010 I was playing tennis and I bent down for a volley and I felt something pop in my left knee and I have experienced some sort of daily knee pain ever since. I opted for surgery a few months later in January and I hoped for the best but after months of rehab I was still in pain, had incredible stiffness and decreased mobility in the left knee but to top it off my right knee started to really bother me as well. I was told that essentially I have very little cartilage in either. I went from playing sports to having significant problems with my mobility in almost five months. I had cracking and pain with practically every step. I needed to add 20-30 minutes to my travel time because I was moving so slowly and stairs really panicked me. I was limping around and just icing and elevating both my knees every day. By the end of summer I started feeling a little bit better, the pain had subsided but was still present. I've been doing yoga every day during the challenge and this has helped tremendously. The limping altered my stride and caused a great deal of stiffness and pinching through my back, hips, knees and ankles. Now I feel like I'm standing up straighter and the stiffness has improved. Stairs still bother me though - I need to use a hand rail but the increased flexibility has made a huge difference in my quality of life, so I'm very grateful. I will definitely continue yoga practice after the challenge is over. :thumb:
01-19-2012 11:55 AM
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Success Offline
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Post: #35

Hi Tobey,
Looks like a yummy receipe. Mango is one of my top 10 foods ever. Thank you for sharing. I will definitely try it.

(01-17-2012 11:09 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  Today was a good day - I'm doing my best to be beautifully imperfect and enjoy the day moment by moment - I have a habit of constantly looking for the next best thing. But along the way I'd like to share another one of my favorite recipes - because at the very least one should enjoy what they eat! :D

Quinoa Sunshine Salad

4 cups baby spinach
1 cup quinoa
1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup yellow bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup mango, diced
1/4 cup green onion, chopped

Dressing
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon orange juice, freshly squeezed
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon orange zest

Rinse quinoa thoroughly, place one cup quinoa in a sauce pan with two cups of cold water. Bring the mixture to a boil, cover and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Let cook for about 15 minutes, or until all water is absorbed. Remove from heat. Fluff quinoa with a fork and set aside to cool.
In a small bowl combine all dressing ingredients and mix thoroughly.
In a large bowl combine quinoa, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper and mango.
Pour dressing over salad and mix.
Let the salad sit for 10 minutes to allow the flavors to combine.
Serve salad on top of a bed of baby spinach and garnish with green onions.

Enjoy!!
01-19-2012 12:22 PM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #36

(01-19-2012 12:22 PM)Success Wrote:  Hi Tobey,
Looks like a yummy receipe. Mango is one of my top 10 foods ever. Thank you for sharing. I will definitely try it.

(01-17-2012 11:09 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  Today was a good day - I'm doing my best to be beautifully imperfect and enjoy the day moment by moment - I have a habit of constantly looking for the next best thing. But along the way I'd like to share another one of my favorite recipes - because at the very least one should enjoy what they eat! :D

Quinoa Sunshine Salad

4 cups baby spinach
1 cup quinoa
1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup yellow bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup mango, diced
1/4 cup green onion, chopped

Dressing
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon orange juice, freshly squeezed
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon orange zest

Rinse quinoa thoroughly, place one cup quinoa in a sauce pan with two cups of cold water. Bring the mixture to a boil, cover and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Let cook for about 15 minutes, or until all water is absorbed. Remove from heat. Fluff quinoa with a fork and set aside to cool.
In a small bowl combine all dressing ingredients and mix thoroughly.
In a large bowl combine quinoa, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper and mango.
Pour dressing over salad and mix.
Let the salad sit for 10 minutes to allow the flavors to combine.
Serve salad on top of a bed of baby spinach and garnish with green onions.

Enjoy!!
I agree - mango is the best I eat it almost every day!

I can't believe we're almost done with the challenge! It's been amazing, I think I've shocked myself that I was able to stay on track with all of my goals. I mentioned before that I have a habit of going all in on a project and then after a week I lose interest or just become overwhelmed and quit, usually with a flurry of negative self-talk. It's happened so many times that I simply accept it - but this time I know that three things were crucial for me. First I wrote how I felt every day, so I was able to capture my feelings and experiences. Second I had support and wisdom from people reading and commenting on my journal. And third I set realistic expectations so I was setting the bar where I could actually reach it versus some outlandish standard that I'd never make. So I now realize that in the past I would set super high standards for myself and then never reach them and then beat myself up because I failed. Wow - What a lesson! ;)
(This post was last modified: 01-20-2012 11:21 AM by TJ322.)
01-20-2012 10:36 AM
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Success Offline
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Post: #37

Hi Tobey,

So you are suffering from the same genetic malfunction towards self-flagellating perfectionism as I? Congratulations girl! I know how hard it is to succeed and maintain 20 full days of sinless, junk-less behaviour. We did it! (almost - 1 more day).. Lets nail it over the next 21 days, what do you say? Are you up to the challenge? Full speed into the yummy Matisse-like palette of orange mangoes, purple beets, yellow corn, green arugula, creamy almond milk? happy smiles?

Success

PS. High standards never hurt.. they will serve you very well.. if you manage to learn to hug yourself or even better capture\create someone that will do it with you.. isn't it great we are women, life giving forces?
:angel:


(01-20-2012 10:36 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  
(01-19-2012 12:22 PM)Success Wrote:  Hi Tobey,
Looks like a yummy receipe. Mango is one of my top 10 foods ever. Thank you for sharing. I will definitely try it.

(01-17-2012 11:09 AM)TJ322 Wrote:  Today was a good day - I'm doing my best to be beautifully imperfect and enjoy the day moment by moment - I have a habit of constantly looking for the next best thing. But along the way I'd like to share another one of my favorite recipes - because at the very least one should enjoy what they eat! :D

Quinoa Sunshine Salad

4 cups baby spinach
1 cup quinoa
1/2 cup red bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup yellow bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup mango, diced
1/4 cup green onion, chopped

Dressing
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tablespoon orange juice, freshly squeezed
2 teaspoons fresh garlic, minced
1 teaspoon fresh ginger, minced
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon orange zest

Rinse quinoa thoroughly, place one cup quinoa in a sauce pan with two cups of cold water. Bring the mixture to a boil, cover and turn down the heat to a low simmer. Let cook for about 15 minutes, or until all water is absorbed. Remove from heat. Fluff quinoa with a fork and set aside to cool.
In a small bowl combine all dressing ingredients and mix thoroughly.
In a large bowl combine quinoa, red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper and mango.
Pour dressing over salad and mix.
Let the salad sit for 10 minutes to allow the flavors to combine.
Serve salad on top of a bed of baby spinach and garnish with green onions.

Enjoy!!
I agree - mango is the best I eat it almost every day!

I can't believe we're almost done with the challenge! It's been amazing, I think I've shocked myself that I was able to stay on track with all of my goals. I mentioned before that I have a habit of going all in on a project and then after a week I lose interest or just become overwhelmed and quit, usually with a flurry of negative self-talk. It's happened so many times that I simply accept it - but this time I know that three things were crucial for me. First I wrote how I felt every day, so I was able to capture my feelings and experiences. Second I had support and wisdom from people reading and commenting on my journal. And third I set realistic expectations so I was setting the bar where I could actually reach it versus some outlandish standard that I'd never make. So I now realize that in the past I would set super high standards for myself and then never reach them and then beat myself up because I failed. Wow - What a lesson! ;)
01-20-2012 01:15 PM
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TJ322 Offline
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Post: #38

I applaud everyone and everything we've learned and realized throughout the last 3 weeks! I'm already thinking about my next challenge - but I think it's strange to say that because really life is the ultimate challenge - ugh I know another cliche - but I realized that carrying out the challenge wasn't the challenge at all - it was carrying out the challenge while trying to deal with life - my frustrations with a colleague at work, being tired at the end of the day and wanting to just sit on the couch, really wanting that chocolate bar! So if I can find a way to cope with every day stress and still accomplish at least some of my goals I'm doing OK and that's pretty good.
01-21-2012 11:56 AM
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Post: #39

So at the conclusion of these 21 days I have learned a lot and I have a multitude of questions - about me, about what I want to do, about where I want to go next. But there's something I'm sure of - If You Want Something You've Never Had You Need To Do Something You've Never Done - and I'm sure this is going to be a great year! :heart:
01-22-2012 12:04 PM
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Post: #40

It was nice reading your journal!
Wishing you good luck for your future! :)

01-22-2012 06:03 PM
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