Post: #21

Report-Day 4

Woohooo!!! Today was pretty damn good!! I was in line with all of the tasks I set for me. Err..... well, almost all of them. I didn't do anything in the productivity sector though. I didn't find time for that. Jeez! I've noticed that's the only area where I almost consistently fail to stick to my plans. Gotta really work on that. Anyway, work was great! My computer at work had something wrong with it so I had to hunt for a fully functional one and that saved me from taking a good portion of calls. Plus, the call volume today for some reason was really low. Also, to top it all, my trainer made a little trophy out of chocolate wrapping paper for me for having the best score at calls among my peers. So sweet of her! I plan on keeping that little trophy to keep my spirits up if ever I have a bad time at work or get thoughts about quitting.

Reviewing my last task, I feel quite proud of myself because it represents one thing that I'm actually doing that's in line with what I want/need!! I think I'll give me a big hug!...... DONE!!

Next, I shall answer the Day-4 Question, which is, "If You Are To Travel Back in Time to 3 Years Ago, What Advice Would You Give Yourself?"

Now, when I first read the question a number of answers popped into my head. I immediately thought I should tell younger-me to go for a degree in psychology or fine arts instead of animation. But then I realized I don't really know if things would have been better that way. One by one, I remembered all the good things and wonderful people and important experiences my course in animation has brought me. In a way, it is responsible for leading me to this site!! It was in college that I met several creative and spiritual friends and Nimi was one of them. She told me about the challenge and everything so I decided I was in no way gonna do anything that might jeopardize my last few weeks of growth!! Even hypothetically!!!!
I got into reiki through a good friend I met there, I learnt about cutting off "friends" that were bad for me, I found friends who are all dear precious souls, I learnt about failure, I learnt to beat away guilt and I also learnt many things in the classroom as well!! So I wasn't gonna change any of that.
Next, I thought maybe I could tell younger-me to get involved in all social activities and do the very best at class. But then I remembered that this was actually my goal back then, I just didn't stick to it later on. I had a couple of not-so-good experiences in the past 3 yrs and I imagined it'd be a good idea to warn younger-me about them but then of course, learning things the hard way tends to make me stronger. Thus, another idea is ruled out.
Finally I'm left with nothing. Nothing except for maybe going back to signal me a thumbs-up and flash a big smile. Maybe I could hug me and say that I love me too. Not that I particularly needed to be told, but everyone could use a little love no matter what.

The End!!! Pheewww!!!

Post: #22

I loved your answer to that last journal question. I have to say that is always a powerful step forward when you realize that if you could go back and change something about your past that you would not because your past is what made you the amazing and wonderful person you are now. So definitely a big congratulations for being so truly happy with who you are.

Post: #23

Thanks Moira! I found I needed that question to boost my self-esteem and eliminate self-doubt. Smiles come easier now!!
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I might not remember to post this when I come back from work, so here goes---->
WHEATGRASS!!! Its something my mom and I are currently obsessed with. Why?? Cuz its like the superman of all veggies that's why!! Check this out http://www.hippocratesinst.org/benefits-of-wheatgrass
Here's a little warning too http://www.wheatgrass.me/side-effects-wheatgrass .
I made a glass of juice out of it and drank it up. It tasted like grass so I've really got to think about recipes for this. Also, my mom decided to grow them!! I'm so lucky to have her as my mom!!! Here is a pic of our weird little sprouts!!!


Damn! Gotta work on my photography skills....

Post: #24

Report Day-5


Its a FRIDAY!! Its a FRIDAY!!!! YAY!!!!
It would have been absolutely fantastic if it weren't for that monthly aggravation. Anyway, it went pretty damn good and I did stick to my goals except for one. Yup its the "sketch-everyday" thing again! I switched the meditation with reiki to soothe my back ache. Oooh! Oooh, ooh and I got my pay today!!!!

Analysis:

Well, looking back on what answer I gave for question 4, it looks like I'm on the right track!! But still, I think its one of those things that I'll have to be reminded of once in a while. Its a good question to ask myself whenever I start to doubt the choices I've made or when I feel regret.

Q5--->Who Is the Most Important Person to You in the World?

This one took me quite a while to figure out. For the first few minutes my mind was a blank. Then I tried thinking about what makes a person important to me. Is it the love I have for the person, is it the need for the person, is it the way the person makes me feel?? I drew up a list of everyone I love. There were quite a few people but none stood out as very important. Yes, not even my parents. I need them and I love them as well but that is it I guess. I thought about the people I need. Phew!! It was a long list where everyone were more or else of the same importance. Then I racked my brains for someone who made me feel special. That's when I hit the bull's eye! I realized I was the only one who could not only make me feel special but also choose to feel happiness, love abundance, etc.

I'm definitely making progress with the self-love thing and if you think about it, the person that someone needs the most will always be himself/herself. That is to say, I NEED me to be my best friend so things work out fine. If you are your worst enemy, external help can only get you so far. In fact, its most likely useless. So yea, in conclusion, I have to admit that I am most important to myself(by far).

Phew!! I can finally go sleep now! Later....

Post: #25

Sejal, I have to say I actually just recently tried wheat grass for the first time and I was so afraid that I was going to think it was awful! But it was actually really delicious so I can definitely agree with you about it being a current obsession. I am glad you and your mother are enjoying it.

Also, your journal today was wonderful and insightful as well. You are so honest and it's very admirable. Keep it up!

Post: #26

It's really good, answering self-awareness questions. Self-awareness is very essential for a better life. Best of luck and.......Go Sejal, go!

Post: #27

Hey Moira!
It was delicious??? How was it prepared?? The wheatgrass juice I had was terrible. I can still drink it though. I'm not the fussy kind but if I could do something to make it more pleasing to taste, why not?!?!
Thanks for that encouragement
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Monisha!!
Yup! Yup!! Thanks for that

Post: #28

Report Day-6:

Its a SATURDAY!!! Oh I do so love the weekends. The only problem with it is they get over too fast. Anyway, I ate 6 wonderful meals, did my exercise, some of the house chores too. But again, I did not draw. This time it was just plain procrastination! What do I do with myself?? What's worse is I'm beginning to view drawing as some sort of chore. I can hardly believe this and honestly, I'm not proud of myself right now. I have ideas, I've got the inspiration but nope.


I'll think of a remedy and hopefully I can redeem myself tomorrow.


Analysis:

Reading my last journal, I realize that since I am the person that's most important to me, I'll just have to be better friends with myself. That means giving unconditional love to myself EVEN when I'm ashamed of myself. I'd also better think of encouraging and positive thoughts that will help me instead of dwelling on my mistakes. At the same time, I need to be absolutely honest with myself (I'm not doing too shabby in that area ). Finally, I need to figure out if I'm holding myself back or sabotaging myself, and stop it!! That is going to be tough. I'm going to leave that as part of my next challenge.

Q6- "What frustrates you?"

Mostly what frustrates me is me. How do I manage to do that? Well, that is an even tougher question. Here I go!
I find it frustrating when I let laziness win, when I am held back from something because of fear (or rather myself) and when I disappoint myself by not being the "me" I know I can be or in other words when I feel I'm wasting my potential. I also used to hate the fact that I had a huge interest in a number of things but no will, focus or single-minded drive to back it up. I was a total drifter and I was, still am a little ashamed and disgusted by it. Yikes!! Looks like my friendship with myself needs some working on!!! I also get frustrated when I feel helpless and powerless. I know the only time we are helpless and powerless is when we stop believing in ourselves. Its just that sometimes this is hard to remember.

Also, other things that frustrate me include money or at least it used to back when I had financial problems. I remember hating how dependent I was on money. I saw it(or rather the lack of it) as a huge mountain between me and everything I wanted. It frustrates me when things go stagnant(when I let it go stagnant). I want change. I need it, in fact. Not sure why, but growth is as important as oxygen to me. These are the things that primarily frustrate me. I have to admit that I have done things like blame the source of my frustration on my parents when in reality I was really disappointed in and angry with myself and what I've made of my life so far.

To be frank, I absolutely hate this question but I can't help appreciate how much I needed to answer it. Mightily uncomfortable as it was, I now understand that I don't have to be frustrated anymore. Instead I can continue to do what I'm currently doing (challenging myself ) until I reach my ideal-self. But in the meantime, I need to call on more patience and love for me.

*Sighs* I'm at peace......

Post: #29

I just had the pressed wheat grass with the wheat grass juicer. I do not own one myself so I actually have to go to a juice shop right across the way from my apartment. It might have more to do with the actual grass that effects it's taste. I find it does taste a little grass-y but to me is mostly tastes like sweet snow peas with a hint of grass. I do not mind that flavor. So it could be the grass itself or maybe it's just my taste buds!

In regards to your latest journal entry, don't let frustrations steal your peace. Frustration can be a useful tool if you look at it the right way and then proactively move to rid yourself of the source of frustration. You wrote that you are mostly frustrated when you are letting yourself down so it seems to me that the best way to deal with that frustration in a positive way would be to quietly acknowledge it and then work towards alleviating it which in your case may be just getting up and taking a small step towards your dreams so at least you can say you did something today!

Post: #30

(01-27-2012 09:42 AM)Moirawr Wrote:  I have to say that is always a powerful step forward when you realize that if you could go back and change something about your past that you would not because your past is what made you the amazing and wonderful person you are now.

However, it would be fascinating to see a parallel universe where some big life events went differently. Like - you chose a different school, you lived in a different place, etc. It's like an old Playstation game named Chrono Cross where you have this "Another World" with alternative life stories for everyone. I found it really thoughtful ^_^

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable."

Post: #31

Hi Sejal, I'm come back to the forums today and it's been great pleasure following your Journal.
The past Journaling challenge was great and the questions very deep and enriching. It's really worth following it. I wish you full success in this journey
Thanks also for the wheat grass tip - I had not heard about it before and will investigate. Do you know the french name by any chance?

Post: #32

Thanks Moira....
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Hey Jade!
Yup, parallel universe!! Fascinating subject, huh?!?
Reminds me of the stuff some scientists talk about in quantum physics.
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Reporting Day-7:

Sundays are beautiful! I have redeemed myself by sticking to ALL goals of this 21 day challenge. Yes, I did sketch today!! I almost lost all self-control to my current favourite tv serial. But my mom came to my rescue. Yea, I'm talking an hour long lecture!!

Analysis:

Well, the last journal entry showed me those little roadblocks to happiness that I never quite notice while managing to trip over them every time! The best thing for me to do here is continue challenge after challenge, step by step. Simple enough yet difficult (for me at least).

Q7-"What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?"

One thing I can be proud of is the fact that I have kept myself open to lessons that had to be learnt either from the mistakes and achievements of others or my own. So far, I think the most important thing I've learnt is that I have more power and ability than I know. Everyone has! I know this is something that is pretty much old knowledge to most of you all. Same here! The difference with what happened with me is, for a long time I thought I knew this fact because well, I could quote it when someone needed that advice. But that was just intellectual knowledge. That was quite good but not good enough. It was only when I took up the 21 day challenge that I began to KNOW (and when I say know, I mean know it truly on every level) that I can change my life.

Now, I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear. What I mean to say is that, there was a time when I knew this intellectually. After the end of 21DHL, I began to feel it. That was far more empowering. I can truly believe, I am the master of my life, that I can be whatever I want to be and that my possibilities and personal power is limitless. I've also learnt that I have only just touched the surface of this truth. I believe I will one day learn the actual extent/impact of this truth.

I hope for the day when I can honestly say, "Life is magic!"

Post: #33

(01-30-2012 03:20 AM)Scorpionsage Wrote:  Q7-"What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?"
I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear. What I mean to say is that, there was a time when I knew this intellectually. After the end of 21DHL, I began to feel it. That was far more empowering. I can truly believe, I am the master of my life, that I can be whatever I want to be and that my possibilities and personal power is limitless. I've also learnt that I have only just touched the surface of this truth. I believe I will one day learn the actual extent/impact of this truth.

I hope for the day when I can honestly say, "Life is magic!"

Which tv serial are you talking about? o.O

And phew...You got so much out of the 21DHL! I know what you mean when you say you knew it but now you truly FEEL it!
And sometimes, we tend to forget it and so we need to constantly remind ourselves that WE are our masters!

Oh, and i happened to buy wheatgrass a week back. If you come across any good 'yummy' recipes, let me know! Maybe i should try growing them too!

Post: #34

Thanks Ish!! I appreciate that.
I have no idea what wheatgrass is called in french but I do know how to grow it.
*Take a few wheat grains, soak them for 2 days.
*Drain out the container and leave them for 2 days to sprout.
*When they have just sprouted put them in a pot of mud (dont bury them in the mud, just keep them on top) and cover the top so there is no sunlight. Leave it for 2 days.
*Then take off that cover and let the sun do its job.

For best results make holes at the bottom of the pot so that the extra water seeps out. Use organic soil.
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Hey Nimzi!!

That was actually the korean drama "The moon that embraces the sun". All about fate and politics and love. I'm addicted

N yea, I got a lot out of 21DHL and I especially thank you and Celes for that!! Check out the wheatgrass growing directions above and also look at my beautiful babies!! Soon I shall eat them!!! Muahahahaha!!!! HAAAA!!!

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Reporting Day-8:

Beautiful! That's mostly because I was exempted from taking calls today as there was some sort of a get-together of all new-hires who had completed 3 months in the company.It was so much fun interacting with everyone. Plus, after quite a long time, I actually got to wake up early in the morning(for today we had to work the day-shift!). Ah! The cool atmosphere, the fresh, almost non-polluted air!! Like I said, beautiful!! Oh and I followed my 21DHL routine as well.

Analysis:

The stuff I've written in reply to my day-7 question, tells me I have done a fairly good job in terms of being open to learning. I should remember to hug myself every now and then and keep up the learning. Forever a student of life!!

Q8--"How Much Do You Love Yourself?"

Well, right now my self-love is fluctuating between 9 and 10 out of a total score of 10! I remember a time when it was as low as 5/10. I grew and I grew to love myself as well. But I gave love to myself based on how good I did. I compared myself to others and gave myself "points" accordingly. Finally, I began to start to accept me and love the parts of me I was ashamed of and felt guilty of. Unconditional love is difficult. Its easy to love myself when I'm being "good" and that happens pretty often. But its in my not-so-great moments when that 'reward-the-good-lil-puppy' love crumbles to bits. All that remains is that unconditional love.

But I'm getting there. As I said, 9-10/10!!! And that's not a score of how totally I love myself. I love myself. That is something I have learnt about 2 yrs back. Its a score of how much of that love I let myself feel. I must say I'm getting pretty good at it!!

BOOYAAAAAH!! Lets give me another hug!!

Post: #35

Oooh!!Ooh, for those who like anime, here's one filled with wisdom, go-green messages and more than just a touch of fantasy!!
http://www.watchanimeon.com/arjuna-episode-1/

Post: #36

Hi Sejal , thanks for the wheat grass growing method. No need to know the name if you can grow it

Post: #37

Hello again Sejal! *waves* how're you doing?

You've inspired me to do the 21-day Journalling Challenge myself, now

Post: #38

Hey Ish!
You're welcome! Hope it grows well!!
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Hey Squiggle!!
I'm doing pretty good!!
That's so amazing! I'm so gonna cheer you on!!!
When are you beginning??

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Reporting Day-9:
Today was not all that great but not bad either. I might have exceeded limit for the non-veg intake for the day but I did get enough calories so I guess its fine. I have again kept up with all my tasks for today.

Analysis:
Looking back, I say, "Not bad!". I have learnt so many things about love. Many of these are essential for people to know and I feel blessed that I realize it so early in life. I'm talking about things like, looking into yourself to find love (rather than searching for love and demanding it from others), love both flaws and merits alike, letting yourself feel and appreciate the love that's already flowing to you, knowing that you don't have to earn love (love is free, everyone's right) etc!

Q9: "What drives you?"
Tough question.... I'm not sure about this really. The reason for that is cause the state of mind I usually was in is boredom. Of course, after the challenge things are way better. But you know what boredom does? It numbs you out. Its taking me some real trouble to get me to remember the last time I felt driven (excluding the 21DHL). My general attitude towards drawing or creating anything for that matter, is pretty laid back. I only go ahead with it when I "feel like it" or in other words, when I'm "in the mood". I lack the drive to actively work on my skills and improve.
The only times I have felt charged up is when I work towards improving myself in some way, create things or work with a lot of different people and when I get the opportunity to do something worthwhile in life. I must say the best I've felt so far is when I was in the 21DHL challenge. Ok things are clearing up for me know. So to conclude this, I'd say, what drives me is my need to grow.
All the more reason to continue go with what I'm currently doing!! YAY!!!

Got..........to...................SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!

Post: #39

Phew! Just registered for 21 day exercise challenge. I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna manage 2 challenges at once but I have to do this cuz my exercise routine is starting to get redundant and I need a push in the right direction with this! Wish me luck!

Post: #40

Reporting Day-10:
Can't believe I'm done with 10 whole days already!! Time sure flies! The day went quite well. I did stick to all the challenges although I have to admit, I kept forgetting about my posture. Also, I didn't have time to draw again because of house chores.

Analysis:
Things are starting to make sense now. My drive, my answers for day 1 and day 2 journal questions are along the same lines....., personal growth and the growth of others. Wow! What a dummy I've been! I've been barking up the wrong tree all this while. Just because I could draw, write stories and stuff, I simply assumed I should go for animation because that was the perfect opportunity to use all my talents. I didn't stop to think about the fact that I liked building myself up and helping people with the same, more than I liked creating stuff. Every achievement I make and every time I help someone, it gives me far more joy than creating ever could! I freaking love this challenge!!

Q10- "Who Do You Enjoy Spending Time With?"
Hmmm..., let me see. Well, I love it when I spend time with my friends. But I really think, the key word here is not who because I can really enjoy spending time with practically anyone provided we spend time doing the stuff I really like. So what I mean to say is it is not that I don't enjoy spending time with my parents but we rarely spend time together doing things that interests me. That is to say we don't really have common interests that can help our relationship.
I wish I could spend more time on this question but I'm really sleepy right now (dozed off mid-entry!), I'll just add anything I want to after I wake up.