Hi Everybody! Sorry I haven't been posting much. I just wanted to drop by and leave an update to let you guys know what I've been up to.
I feel really great right now. Thanks in part to the 30BBM challenge I have reached a goal I have wanted for years: I made amends and dramatically improved my relationship with my older sister! Some of you who have been reading my posts in the forums since December may remember that I have said I had a rocky relationship with my older sister. I rarely spoke to her or saw her. I had tried to reach out to her a few times and get her to hang out with me and talk. She usually turned me down or didn't return my messages.
Even though I missed her, part of me also resented her as someone who could be extremely negative, judgmental, and lazy. I also felt rejected when she did not accept an invitation to spend time together.
Day 24 of 30BBM was to make amends for a past wrong doing. Even though I was upset toward my sister for not wanting to meet up, I knew I shared some responsibility for the current state of our relationship. When I was younger and still lived at home I was less mature and obnoxious. There were times when I purposely got on my sister's nerves. When I moved out at 22 I was excited about starting my new life out on my own. I pretty much ignored my mom and my sister for a couple years and took them for granted. I'm sure my sister felt rejected because of that. Also there have been occasions since where my sister and I got into heated arguments and hurt each others' feelings.
I felt bad for how I treated her. As part of Day 24's task I sent an email to my sister. I told her I was sorry for not spending time with her. I told her I missed her and I asked her if she wanted to see a movie with me. Several hours later I got a reply back rejecting my offer. I was upset about this but I wasn't surprised. A few days later though I got a new message from her. She told me about a problem she was having with our mother which I was completely unaware of. (My sister lives at home with our mom.)
I immediately went to meet her. She was home alone when I came by. I asked her to let me know how she has been doing. She told me how she has been quite depressed for the past few years and things have gotten worse in recent months because of an issue with our mom. (I might share the problem with our mom in another post. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle it). I said I was sorry for not being around more to help out. I told her I was sorry if she felt abandoned. We had a real heart to heart conversation.
I knew she wasn't happy at home so I invited her to come live with me for a while. She said no at first but then accepted later in the day and said she would like to spend a few days at my apartment. After that we spent a lot of time together talking and sharing in a way we haven't done since we were little kids. I'm a little shocked at how well we get along together now. Both of us agreed the other has matured a lot and we both said we were happy we were talking again.
Like I mentioned earlier, I often resented her because of her behavior. After talking with her I realized that she really hasn't gotten the encouragement and support that she has needed. She has felt rejected, so she reacted by rejecting me and others. Many of the traits about her that bugged me are the same negative traits I am working to overcome in myself. For a long time I have just wanted encouragement and somebody to share my feelings with (which is part of the reason I visit this forum) and I think my sister really needs the same thing.
One memory I will hold dear for a long time happened a little over a week ago. We both picked out a movie on Netflix to watch together. My sister picked out a horror b-movie called House of the Devil. After we watched it our conversation became hilariously morbid
We started talking about “real life” ghost stories we heard about, ufo abductions, government conspiracies, and lots of other creepy stuff. It was getting late and I said I was going to bed. My sister admitted our conversation scared her and I agreed
She was going to sleep on the couch in my living room. I got my blankets and pillow from my bedroom and spread them on the floor in the living room by the couch to sleep there. Even though I thought I was going to sleep we talked in the dark for hours sharing everything with each other. I think it was around 6 am when I finally fell asleep.
My sister is living back home with our mom now. She calls me every couple days though and we can spend up to a couple hours discussing our day. It's ridiculous how well we are getting along. It's like we're children and my sister is my best friend again! Honestly, reconnecting with her is probably one of the most satisfying things that has happened to me in the last few years. I'm very happy about this.
I also wanted to say thanks to everybody on this forum who has ever encouraged me or given me advice or shared in any way. I think that we all make each other better people and I'm glad we can connect here. Thank you Stacey, Glenn, Celes, Moira, Ish, Charles, Andreea, Hannah, Xina, Kirsten, Leny, and Tina for your friendship.
Okay I just wanted to let everybody know how I have been. I promise I will be posting again real soon though keep you updated on everything else in my life. Hope everyone is doing great!