I'd really appreciate your advice on something
The more work I do on my personal development (and I'm doing the 30BBM programme at the moment so the past few days have been quite intense for that), the more of a difference I see between the 'me' of today and the 'me' of, say, a couple of years ago. This is a good thing, right? I'm proud of how far I've come and it makes me optimistic for the future.
The problem is, I look back on the 'me' of the past and I feel really uncomfortable with some of the things that I did. I can think of times when I was lazy, selfish, inconsiderate and just downright nasty. I know that I was going through a really tough time back then and I would probably have said that I was doing the best I could in the circumstances, but looking back on it with hindsight, I feel awful!
I've tried a few things to remedy this, including apologising to the people who were affected, meditating, trying to remember that it was in the past and I cannot change it now, that it was a springboard to change, etc, etc - but nothing really helps. I can't look at my past without a certain degree of shame, and that's become a lot more pronounced as my personal development work has taken off.
Does anyone have any ideas on what I can do to forgive myself and move on? Ideally, I'd like to be able to be thankful for everything that happened as it ultimately made me a better person - but looking back, it almost feels like too high a price to pay when it led to some people being hurt.