So today I needed to keep it brief. My absence in general from the forum was because of my fam moving out and into an apt. Today is moving day, so I gave myself the slightest bit of space to get back to my normal schedule.
For this, and previous sessions, I took Celes advice about seeing all of your thoughts without engaging but in a visual sense. I used an old method that a counselor once taught me of picturing yourself in some tranquil place (for me, its deep space amongst stars and cosmic who-knows-what) and have those thoughts appear in some tangible form. In this case, it was stars! The imagery always works well and keeps my mind busy from the clutter that I saw. I'll be doing this from now on.
Today was a good experience and I learned a lot from it.
- First, I noticed that in my imagery, there were TONS of thoughts, but only the ones that are prevalent right now stick out.
- Second, I notice that out of the prevalent ones (which are a few), the ones that are bothering me right now (or carrying a sense of negativity) I tend to engage in.
- From those negative ones, I start feeling waves of emotions - emotions that suck, mind you. Emotions, more importantly, of inferiority.
- As I engaged with these emotions, I started thinking about my schedule in general. My rush, my impatience comes from trying to find an answer to these negative emotions, but its not organized. Its rushing to plug the holes.
- Finally, I disengage. Literally. Well not literally. My imagery just pictures myself pushing the issue away and observing it all from a distance. Once focused here, the cycle repeated.
I was on the verge of beating myself up once I woke up, but I realized that there was some good insight in this session. I'm well aware of my clutter, but in a space where I am just using my mind (meditation) I can see how my mind works - I even notice the negatives and positives of what I do. This same capacity is carried into everyday life; thinking, of course, things that are irrelevant to where Im at. Celes said it best in her article on meditation.
I'm def. glad with this. I can see the clutter and the issues I bring with it. Its a bit of a puzzle, but I figure with more and more experience, I'll find a solution.
(10-07-2011 10:50 AM)Matt Wrote: Hi, K. It seems like listening to music during meditation is very popular among many forum members. I'll have to find some myself.
For sure! Its def. a great mental mechanism that says "I hear my meditation music, lets meditate." Also, it cuts out the disturbances around you: people talking to you, cell phone ringing, traffic outside. Hopefully you can find some and I'm more than willing to help if need be!