Post: #1

Fri Oct 14:
Meditation this morning:
duration about 40 min. around 7 am to 8 am
a prayerful meditation-very deep
posture: sitting in my office swivel chair- one foot up on warm foot stool one down on cool floor. Head on chest and then on arms on desk.
Started with a reading before and had already been up about an hour.Reflected on reading and then some prayer and decided to meditate.
Instead of laying on a mat just kind of crumpled into this position, found comfortable-
Closed eyes, prayed some ,started to breath slow deep rythm and found myself in total darkness-blurry light leading me through several door frames and arches- each a dif. shape. As I wondered the thoughts or ideas I pondered and then let go were on thanking God for Mercy over justice and a few points along the way-forgiven-go on-
I know I was not asleep as my helper walked in to tell me she would go to the doctor now- immediate answer to my prayer-as soon as she left feet and head back in position and continued my Journey
What did I learn,how did I feel after?
-noticed that feet had felt level and same temp the whole time
- crumpled position my version of the soul on its knees
-head felt emptied-freed up
-oddly refreshed
did 5 minutes of reflection with eyes open, sitting up:
the total darkness was neither threatening nor did I feel totally alone.
-only very odd vision on way- looked, questioned and dropped as continued: An angel tied to wall just inside one column. hmmm-
did not yet dig or look for the meaning. Let it sit and I imagine during the day it might give me insight.
*feel great, relieved, light headed

Post: #2

Sat.Oct 16
About 3:40 -started with prayer for about 10 minutes
Meditation- 18 minutes
Tried to not concentrate just go with a short prayer repeated over and over
waited to see where I would be led.
At desk. a few minor interruptions but remained in position even though felt a bit uncomfortable, felt hunger pangs several times.
At the beginning feeling of slipping, sliding but repeatedly helped up again-in a gloom. A few images and feelings went by too fast for me to really see.
Surprised that I was in for 18 minutes.
Felt it was not a good attempt-like nothing happened.
How do I feel afterwards? dull throbbing in back of neck but nothing else.
A bit confused.
Will go back to my chores and perhaps try again in the evening
Perhaps I should try another position or a lead meditation.
Head aches over right eye.

Post: #3

Monday Oct. 17
Did a short Meditation last night about 5 min. around 11pm
felt like floating-letting go.
Almost fell asleep as so dreadfully tired-so went to bed.

This morning around 6-tried to meditate, breath. But was no go. So sat and worked at my goals journal instead for a solid hour.Felt I got a lot done and some real insight into things. Maybe the breathing just calmed me and my mind just enough

8pm-Did 8 minutes of visualizing the flow of chi- energy-coming to me. Like a ball super fast it came straight to me and in moments made ellipses surrounding me all around.
It felt comforting,protective. Made me smile. Hovered and then sped off as quickly as it came. Very short and very nice.

Post: #4

Thursday Oct 20
Started around 8:15 pm-
Began with thankfulness and prayer.The list was long-many things to consider.
Closed eyes and realized my breathing was very regular and deep.Just let the feeling of joy, warmth keep me in a nice warm glow.Felt was in a warm light place, full of light and let thoughts ,petitions and some questions wonder through my head. No need to urge self to breath correctly or dismiss thoughts. All was like in automatic pilot.
Had a yearning to go even deeper but almost fell out of chair. Total relax.
I had almost fallen asleep.
Observation: the energy had slowed and thoughts rolled through slowly like floating. On opening my eyes I was shocked to see that the room was not at all the one I had been in nor the chair.So extremely different yet the same. Perhaps the room of the future. Who knows.The room I was in was warm and quiet yet I came back to a cold room and the TV on in the next room
I estimate perhaps 45 minutes or more.
Feel very well, relaxed and at peace

Post: #5

Have you been able to complete your daily meditation? Why or why not?
My question for today to contemplate before meditation

I think that this helps me look at my goals and actions in all I do . Having participated in the August Challenge I am still actively reading, using new skills and working on goals.As I plan and review this hardest and busiest time of year for me it is different from all the others as my ideal self is in the foreground My character board etc are part of my daily life and planning.
conclusions:
reasons vs excuses.
emotional response vs reality and fact
I am doing too much therefore my efforts are dispersed
too many people are depending on me and my efforts and outcomes- sacrificed free time, sleep, exercise and good old fun: burning all my fuel and energy in one big bonfire.
What are the benefits of meditation for me ? Immediate, short term and as a constant discipline to add to my life?
*last night slept well,rested, renewed . Haven't slept like that in ages
* focus:
learning to breath, take a moment or two to regroup, settle and calm and allow a moment of reflection and meditation lead me in the right direction , go with the flow
*panic attacks virtually gone
* a major SHIFTING of my universe
New goal:
1) 2 meditations daily-perhaps one short and one longer
2)try a newer approach,method at least twice a week
3)read forums daily and look up more on meditation so I can be effective, comfortable and make it a life long tool.
What have I learned today?
That even a short minute of closing eyes and taking a few breaths is refreshing .

Today's first meditation- 8:30 am duration 5 minutes
deep full breaths-inflate lungs and expel. eyes closed ,hands gently together
Total dark with beautiful tiny twinkling light off to right top corner.Watched ,what could this be?Zoomed forward a large full size like a close up of a cell or nueron. Zooming off it sped!Saw it again as followed down what seemed to be nerves in body.There was a bulge or swelling. Did not worry about. It went about quickly repairing.
Almost came out so excited wanted to write it down,share. Stayed put and just watched.Action repeated elsewhere.
As opened my eyes felt a light tingling on scalp right side above ear. Then tingled in several other areas of body.Still feel over and in upper arms near shoulder. Also heaviness in neck head as tend to carry head too far up and back.Feel like I am undergoing some adjustment or repair.It continues back and forth to several areas.
This is not bothersome at all but has continued for some 15 minutes.
Learned:
Am literally taking something with me from the meditation today

Post: #6

Sat 22-10.30 pm
Tried one I was excited about. Kind of meeting or visioning your ideal self to learn ,get hold of some answers for now. Well my expectations were too high and it got too late. After 5 minutes decided to try again early tomarrow.
Was too aware of aches and emotion on this . Literally nothing.
Better luck tomarrow

Post: #7

The result of last night's meditation.
As I was locking up and getting ready for bed I pondered on this short-not so successful attempt. But then I remembered-you weren't truthful. You forgot or pushed away the image of the sea of pencils and then seeing the group of children each pencil on the ready and then writing.
It set off a spark and you pushed it away.
So before bed-during the night in my sleep and in the early morning before preparing for church in inner dialog went on and finally on paper.
These are the results and what I have learned.
The image came from a 1940s wartime movie in black and white
what I found negative -didn't like
!. Dear Lord ! Don't tell me I will have to return to the classroom to teach in schools again to survive.Return to that which I found the least fulfilling of my career. To fail
2. fear, communism,war, totalitarianism-a very valid fear here in this country and now.Did not deny my fears but faced and weighed.
ie: fear of failure, future limited, hemmed in
or: although depressing is there something in this
is this my future bread and butter- a group course offered in a school, after school or some special course I have dreamed of writing and giving.
Something extra, more that I could and would love to do?
Spent a wild and rushed morning noting plans of action-outline- working on the concept.
Then dressing and in the shower and driving I found a whole OTHER reference and learning experience had in the afternoon yesterday and very unpleasant.
:angel:What I have learned, so far , today.
Don't be so quick to judge or give up.
Never underestimate the true value of meditation !

Post: #8

Lost internet again last night. Perhaps that's whats happening that I do not get on the chart but do the challenge and report.

Last nights meditation: Sun. 23 7:10 pm 24 minutes
Did my old led meditation without the CD as know it so well.
Once I opened the door and went down the stairs I was "in".
Greeted by other self/former- It was odd but patted the ground beneath the tree and the two of us sat meditated. There was no sense of Where have you been? Just joy at my presence and total acceptance.
Felt touched on shoulder, kissed by someone who loved me. Perhaps my father. And others. We / I traveled through time and distance to our next stop. Would I go into the water-another part of me beconed there too.
Instead of waters, went deeper again all was dark and cloudy but not threatening.
Found I was travelling the Ventuari River again as in my youth. The magical waters that run 2 colors and consistancies side by side for many kilometers.Traveled along by dugout boat yet I was still in my office chair.
Reached a camp where again felt greeted but not visibly "see" anyone
-- traveled through memories and visions, pelting sleet as my brother drove,mountains I have "met" come to know.
-Decided I must come back as my husband was rather noisy and needed my attention
*** but as was leaving walking out felt self pulled physically back as by a great wave. Hmmm. Evidently needed to see more deeper yet. cloudy purple light that formed symbols of all kinds.
Then was able to leave.
Stated 3 times in my mind- the message
" we are the sum total of all our experiences
-was interrupted 3 times during and each time returned immediately and deeper.
*** this being pulled back-confused me
I know my husband and my dog were uncomfortable with my going into this times meditation.
Caution or just feel they "lost" me control over.
I have no real answer to all this but must exercise control over how deep I wish to go and the specific goal of the meditation.

Any observations would be most helpful:
Claire R

Post: #9

Monday Oct.24, 5 min 12noon
5 minute meditation. A memory from my childhood. Beautiful and made me want to cry.

Post: #10

(10-25-2011 03:36 AM)Claire R Wrote:  Monday Oct.24, 5 min 12noon
5 minute meditation. A memory from my childhood. Beautiful and made me want to cry.

Is this meditation you were Saying Claire? : )
In my opinion I think thats good that you had a memory from your childhood, hope its positive : ) if it is( or if it isnt) think about what can you learn from that memory that if you take action will affect your present in a positive way?

Nothing happens by chance : )

Post: #11

Hi Claire,

Sorry about the confusion earlier--okay I see what you're talking about! Well strange stuff has happened to me too when meditating--mostly synchronicities. I've never had an experience quite like what you're describing, though. Just to clarify--did you feel physically pulled back into the meditation twice? And the statement you were repeating--was it intentional or not?

Based on the information you've provided (and I feel like I still need more information to understand what happened), it sounds like one of two things.

The first, which is the more fanciful, spiritual one (and could be in line with the visualizations you were experiencing) makes me wonder if you were having contact with an actual spirit???

The second I can think of is that you may have entered a state between waking and sleeping. There are states you can go into that are kind of a cross between waking and sleeping that can cause things like lucid dreaming, sleepwalking, seeming out of body experiences, sleep paralysis--really all kinds of things that feel strange. When you meditate, you go into the alpha state, which is the same state you go into right before sleep, so it's very likely that you fell into a "cross state." As far as I know, there is no way to prevent this--it is just more likely to happen to certain people.


~Christina

Life Coach and Manifesting Artist
http://www.CoachingWithChristina.com
http://www.BotanicBoutique.com

Post: #12

(10-25-2011 05:04 AM)Christine Wrote:  Hi Claire,

Sorry about the confusion earlier--okay I see what you're talking about! Well strange stuff has happened to me too when meditating--mostly synchronicities. I've never had an experience quite like what you're describing, though. Just to clarify--did you feel physically pulled back into the meditation twice? And the statement you were repeating--was it intentional or not?

Based on the information you've provided (and I feel like I still need more information to understand what happened), it sounds like one of two things.

The first, which is the more fanciful, spiritual one (and could be in line with the visualizations you were experiencing) makes me wonder if you were having contact with an actual spirit???

The second I can think of is that you may have entered a state between waking and sleeping. There are states you can go into that are kind of a cross between waking and sleeping that can cause things like lucid dreaming, sleepwalking, seeming out of body experiences, sleep paralysis--really all kinds of things that feel strange. When you meditate, you go into the alpha state, which is the same state you go into right before sleep, so it's very likely that you fell into a "cross state." As far as I know, there is no way to prevent this--it is just more likely to happen to certain people.


~Christina

I know I thought the spirit of my father was present at the very beginning. And yes, I really think you hit the right idea. There is a point where it is dream,projections etc all mixed together.
The thing that puzzled me was the forceful being pulled back in just as I wanted to finish-like if a big wave took me back.
I thought the memories stirred, even the order all has to do with the idea that I said, felt, whatever We are the sum total of all our experienced. And the fact there were no negative feeling at all.
Thanks for answering and giving me a name for it so I can better understand
Claire R

Post: #13

Hi Claire,

Sounds like an amazing experience! The most important part, I think, is that it was positive and not scary even if it was startling! Glad I could offer some perspective.

Hugs,

Christina

Life Coach and Manifesting Artist
http://www.CoachingWithChristina.com
http://www.BotanicBoutique.com

Post: #14

(10-26-2011 02:43 AM)Christine Wrote:  Hi Claire,

Sounds like an amazing experience! The most important part, I think, is that it was positive and not scary even if it was startling! Glad I could offer some perspective.

Hugs,

Christina

I have come to a thought on all this. Perhaps it is to say some things in my past have pulled me back or affected me in my daily life more than I know.
Tonight I will try a wide awake kind of meditation.
Perhaps certain things "hold me back" things that must be healed.
Thank you so much

Post: #15

:?:Seems the Forums system crashed and would not receive my last report.Was unable to get back into forums or blog until this morning
Tues 24 14 minutes-about 9pm
-started before with prayer and thankfulness
mostly just replayed all the good things and events of the day
had a thought but lost it right after coming out

Yesterday Wed. 25 7 am 5 min.
Did very short early morning to center and focus on a set question.
-very good I think because gave me the push to read again and work on and finally let go of something huge. A false picture/story of self that was holding me back.
Learned today: even if I do no quite understand the workings of it meditation has helped focus and bring new energy to
my daily life.
I feel "fixed, repaired,redirected and with more + energy

Post: #16

Today Oct 28
Basic repeat of yesterday-did short meditation -did not have time to start up computer- out the door as sun was coming up.

Since Wed. I have been meditating on the meaning and results of a huge breakthrough.
-Freeing my mind up and meditating on the question over and over
releasing emotions and judgements
First an inner dialog after prayer...
Then just meditating,breathing and relaxing body and then mind.
The hardest part is being still and staying open.
After 10 minutes just sat up and then I was able to say OK,Now lets check schedule & list etc.
What have I learned over the last few days?
*to have an opening and closing ritual ,helps me set the time aside and to settle my mind.
It is very simple. I put a glass of water on the table near me.First I pray
then settle and work on relaxing and going into the meditation. I fold my hands or have them next to me relaxed.
*When I come out I slowly drink the water ( or a coffee) reflect on.
*Then report and back to work.
*Early morning seems to work but sometimes I really enjoy meditation around 9 pm.
*Learning to declutter my my mind has not been easy but works.

Post: #17

Sat. Oct 29
two meditations
Morning-6:45 am focus on a key goal and key question
taken from Celes' 25 Brainstorming techniques
duration-50 minutes
interrupted momentarily to jot down notes.
Spent another hour writing and reflecting on.

Evening - 6:40 pm about 15 minutes
just relaxation and breathing-
more memories and observations- mind was not still but felt relaxing-good

Post: #18

Have discovered that every time I have a free time or sudden opening I'm like OH Boy! Lets do a meditation or a moment for breathing, relaxing.
Does this mean it has become a habit?
Today 31st
did a short meditation about 7 minutes.
-after a student called to cancel I promptly went into prayer and meditating but light and thinking things through.
and I ask myself "and what have you just learned from this ?
It is hard to set time aside for a full meditation everyday. On the other hand, now that I have tried many kinds of meditation and reflection, I can not imagine being without it.
So, I feel good.
This was a very busy weekend but I managed to keep prayer, thankfulness at the front.
Claire R