Post: #1

So I am creating my journal to keep track of the objectives set in the 30 BBM challenge.

These objectives are :
1. Keep on working on my 3 most important character traits :
- Be fearless
- Be more assertive
- Be more open and loving with people

2. Work on my goals :
- be healthy (good food, more physical exercise, lose weight)
- be zen
- find my significant other
- develop my passion (reiki and massage)

I began working on my character traits in 30 BBM and I discovered that
a) in writing my fears on paper, confronting them and putting them to the test, some of them revealed themselves not to be real, above all the fear of being rejected by the others if I was showing them my true self.
b) I am becoming more and more at ease with my true self and am willing to develop it to be my better possible self. The assertivenes has grown a little bit, but there is still a long way to go. Being more open and loving with people has changed for the better. I am able to communicate better and in a more heartfelt manner with my closest friends, my mother and my sister and it feels good.

As for working on my goals, I have been working on them for a while, but now I am beginning to know me better as a person, working on my goals is also simpler.

This week (as from tomorrow) I will work on my "be healthy" goal. I will set the habit of walking 30 minutes every day. In the past weeks I went for a walk 1 to 3 times a week, but I want to increase the frequency.

I will also continue to connect with people more with my true self and will continue this week. I have an important issue next week : the burial of one of my friends and I want to be there for my other friends and for her family. I will try to bring them love, compassion and support

I will report progress next Sunday.

Post: #2

Hi Ariane, it's great you've started your Journal.

Quote:a) in writing my fears on paper, confronting them and putting them to the test, some of them revealed themselves not to be real, above all the fear of being rejected by the others if I was showing them my true self.

Very true. Writing is very powerful, specially for goals and plans.

Quote:2. Work on my goals :
- be healthy (good food, more physical exercise, lose weight)
- be zen
- find my significant other
- develop my passion (reiki and massage)

We have many goals in common, except for the signigicant other which I've already found
I'm also working on being healthy, zen and studying reiki further. I've followed kundalini reiki through the web, but now I'd like to follow Usui reiki in a "real" class . I've found the symbols to be very powerful.

Looking forward to following your journey

Post: #3

Hi Ish,

Great to see you in the forum ! I have read a few of your posts in 30 BBM ! I am glad that we share common goals and can comment them on this forum.

If you can find a usui reiki class in your neighbourhood, go for it. I have done the first two initiations and it has changed my life and initiated personal growth and betterment. I plan speaking to my reiki teacher to do the third initiation. She is a bit reluctant now but I will try my best to make her change her mind ! I need the third degree to be able to register within a professional association and thus my practice will be reimbursed by medical insurances. it is still a long process but I will report in my journal when I fell really ready to go on.

Keep me posted if you find a course and tell me how it goes.

Love

Post: #4

(09-05-2011 12:47 AM)Ariane Wrote:  I have an important issue next week : the burial of one of my friends and I want to be there for my other friends and for her family. I will try to bring her love, compassion and support

Ariane, I`m so, so sorry to hear about your friend.. All my heart is with you and with her family

Good thoughts and love to all of you

Post: #5

I really admire how you choose to focus on others' feelings at this moment of loss...If it was me, I am not sure I can do it...after all, losing one's friend can be a painful experience emotionally. I wish you a lot of strength to go through the next week's burial and to do your best to comfort others.

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn.
"What humans experience is part of human experience. Nothing that can happen is unusual, and there's no sense in complaining. Nature does not make us endure the unendurable." - Epictetus

Post: #6

(09-07-2011 12:56 AM)mrsrogen Wrote:  I really admire how you choose to focus on others' feelings at this moment of loss...

Mel,

Thank you for your kind words. In fact focusing on other's feelings was quite positive for me on this occasion. It was an opportunity to connect with my friends. We were all going trough the same thing and I was glad I had them by my side to share the grief. The downside is that I sort of "absorbed" quite a lot of sad feelings form the others (I am a real "sponge") which leaves me know in a strange state. More on my below post.
.

---

Hello !

Here is my report on last week's goals :

- my first goal was to walk 30 minutes everyday.
I walked 20 to 30 minutes every weekday, not on the week-end. Goal OK !
- the second issue was continue to show kindness to everbody and stay open to the others. It went quite well, but somewhere along the way I did not protect myself very well, because I feel emotionally drained. I did the "sponge" and took on me all the bad vibes at the burial of my friend but also at work. It resulted on being less open and friendly with the others on the beginning of this week. I have also eaten crap all week-end (I was invited Friday, Saturday and Sunday) and did not have enough sleep either.

Next steps for this week :
- continue with walking every day
- get enough sleep (no TV after 8h30; go to bed before 10h00)
- eat better

I will not work on anything else until the points above are settled, because they are the base of my well-being.
Once it's done I will concentrate on doing my reiki autotreatment every day and begin meditation.
Update next Sunday !
Have a good week !

Post: #7

I think 20-30 minutes five days a week is a pretty good accomplishment. That is a lot more activity than a lot of people get and I have found that the more you move the easier it becomes so you might find that the length or amount of times a week you fit in it both go up here in the near future.

I can definitely understand being emotionally drained after working so hard to be a kind and understanding person but over-achieving there can be detrimental to yourself. It's never wrong to take some time for yourself to recharge and that sounds like what you may need to do if it is effecting your mood. I have the same problem and I try to remind myself that kindness is a well that never dries but I haven't quite gotten there yet either.

I look forward to seeing your progress!

Post: #8

Hello!

Here is my weekly update :

Last week was better than the previous one :

- I felt less emotionally drained
- I had a very good week at work
- I spent a good time yesterday evening with my sister, my cousin and her son at an Indian restaurant and it helped me to "recharge my batteries".

Report on my goals :

- walking 30 minutes every day : did it again 5 days in the week including the week-end (didn't do it Tuesday and Wednesday). By the way thank you Moira for the encouragements!
I am starting to see the benefits of these nearly daily walks : energy level up, clearer thinking !

- get some sleep : I am slowly getting there, watching less TV and going to bed earlier. This week-end is a no TV week-end. I just watched a few videos on "you tube" that's all. I am catching up on my sleep and will continue to do so next week by going to bed early.
- eat better : I had a lot less invitations this week so I ate better and the weight is beginning to drop again, slowly but surely.

As I watched less TV this week-end, I have also been able to think about my long term goals and I have now a rough planning that will permit me to pursue my dreams. I am writing them on this here journal to make sure I don't lose track of them :

May-June 2012 : Do my Reiki 3rd initiation
- If my Reiki teacher doesn't want to give me the third initiation (she told me she wasn't ready yet), my cousin knows someone who can.
September 2012 : Begin Anatomy-pathology course needed to register to a therapeut association
- I have found a school not too far from home where I can do the course and it is not too expensive. Ten modules on twenty weeks so I would have finished by Feb 2013.
- December 2014 : Trip to India. Possibly do a Vipassana meditation retreat and ayurveda massage course in Kerala, but until then it can change. Anyway I am going to save money for this as from next week.

I spoke to my cousin and sister about these goals and they were very supportive, it makes me feel good. I did not ask for their approbation I just told them "I am planning to do this and that..." very good progress !

That's all for today, I will report again next Sunday.

For next week I will :

- continue to walk 30 minutes every day
- continue eating well and getting more sleep
- try and do an effort about cleaning my flat (using the "30 minutes of action" from 30 BBM).

Have a good week !

Post: #9

Here I am again after a little break last week-end and ready to report !

These last 2 or 3 weeks I have been trying to acquire two new habits : walk 30 minutes 5 days out of 7 and go to bed early. It works well so I am not going to speak more about them in the following weeks unless something changes. Just wanted to say that going to bed early is easier now that I watch less TV at night. It works so well I am planning about selling my TV (deadline 31 December), I will let you know how it goes.

I also spoke two weeks ago about continuing the decluttering of my flat. Yesterday I drove my old sofas to the recycling point and went to Ikea to shop for boxes to put my things into. I am receiving my new sofa only in a month, it leaves me time to clean the carpet. The sofa bed in my massage room has also gone. I wanted to buy a new one but decided against it for the moment. Anyway nobody ever stays at my place to sleep so I don't see the point of having one. I will reconsider the matter in a few weeks/months.

On Monday I went to my homeopath (the one that is trying to heal my digestive disorder). We speak about my physical health and also my emotional health because in homeopathy it is important. So I told him all about my friend B dying and we got to the root cause of my pain today which is that I am scared about the void there is after death (in my opinion). It was interesting because he uses the same method as Celes to get to the root cause of things. He then found an homeopathic remedy that suited exactly my needs and I feel better. I am still sad but I manage it better now. He told me as well that some answers about this topic might come with the regular practice of meditation.

So, next week I will continue on my goals and will tackle the "Be Zen" one. I bought Jon Kabat-Zinn book about meditation (French edition) and I am going to begin reading it this week. I will let you know if it helped me and if I am able to begin meditating this week.

One more thing I wanted to share before I close this post : There is this guy at work I am a bit obsessed with at present. I have always found him very cute and sexy, but I thought his personality wasn't all that great so I didn't take time getting to know him (we've been working in the same company for at least 5 years..). But lately I had some conversations with him and heard what he was talking about with others as well and begun to find him interesting. The bad thing is that now I am totally paralysed with fear and cannot even speak to him. I feel quite bad about it as I am a mature woman now but I still don't know how to handle these kind of feelings. I will let you know how it goes and if matters progress. Any comments and advice welcome. I am counting about meditaiton to find an answer, more news next week.

Wishing you all an excellent week !

Lots of Love

Post: #10

Hello Ariane!
Reading your thread for the first time, how did the situation with the guy at work go? I totally get what you mean.. when I like someone I get awkward and not my usual self ard him! In fact, I did not speak to my boyfriend at all for 2 years... even though i liked him then. I think what helped me was taking 'baby steps', go at a pace you've comfortable with. For me, we somehow exchanged numbers [ for some project but that was an excuse ] and slowly we started chatting more thru SMS or Messenger. Got to know each other better slowly and that helped ease the initial awkwardness when we interacted face to face. All in all, just be happy & have fun, & somehow you'll relax. Good luck

Sorry about the loss of your friend -hugs- Im coping with the loss of my grandpa as well, he passed away a month ago.. but it's still been tough coping with it as we are all reflecting on our lives & trying to be there for each other still while living & building our own lives. It's a learning journey i suppose. take care!

-Nicole

Nicole instarstwined
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle ~ Plato
Peace comes from within