Post: #1

(a) Why you want to cultivate meditation

I've experienced meditation to be good for me in many ways. I'm more relaxed, less stressed, more focused, happier... I also use meditation as a tool to help my actors stay focused and in peace when I'm directing. I haven't been meditating regulary lately and it feels better to teach people something you actually practise yourself

(b) Time of your daily meditation

I'll try to meditate every morning and in the evenings after I put my daughter to sleep (in days I'm home early enough).

(c ) Duration

5-10 minutes in the morning. 5-60 minutes in the evening depending on all the other things I have to do.

(d) Type of meditation you are going to do

I don't know if there is a name for it. I call it embracing the moment. I'm trying to let go of everything that comes to mind. Just by repeating "you can go" while breathing out. I usually use music and a candle to focus.

(e) What you wish to get out of your 21-day meditation journey

I really wish to form a strong habit of meditation. Lately I've gone overboard with my studies, work, family and theatre-stuff. I'm really hoping to find some balance!

I'm open and curious about anything this wonderful challenge brings to me.

Post: #2

I'll have two days of diary in one post here.

DAY 1 (saturday)

Yesterday was one of the hardest day of the year for me. I have been having troubles in my marriage for some time and now it looks like there is no way to deal with all the issues we have. I love my husband very much. We've been together 9 years and married for 5.5 years. I'm emotionally crashed and on top pf that very busy with my life. We were out all day yesterday: Visiting his grandparents, taking our daughter to a birthday, greeting a new 18-hour-old family member and my friends birthday. It was hard even if all the events were very positive.

In the evening I was ready to go to bed alone and feel sorry for myself when I remember the challenge. I meditated for ten minutes.

I sat on my bed listening meditation music on youtube. Usually I do very simple meditation. I sit and breath and whenever I get an idea, feeling or tought I breath out and say in my head "you can go". Now that most of my toughts were totally distructing it felt so difficult! ...so I intuitively added a phrase there. Instead of just letting go I started to say "I accept you" while breathing in and continuing with my trusted "you can go". It wasn't easy but it worked! I experienced somethig that's always hard to explain and usually takes me more time than just 10 minutes and more long lasting cosistent meditation.

I'm glad I did this even if I felt overwhelmed and not spiritual at all before I started.


DAY 2 (sunday)

Today I started with a 5 minute meditation right after breakfast. I sat on my bed and did the same as yesterday. I almost always meditate in lotus-position, my hands on my knees palms up. Nothing special to repost here. It felt good. My concentration was alright and my day got a loving, smooth start.

This evening i tried meditating on our couch. In my usual posture, music playing for 15 minutes. Phew - this must have been my most difficult meditation ever. It wasn't bad. I wasn't suffering in any way but I found it soooo difficult to concentrate!

Reasons:
*over-heated thinking (Really! How can one person have that much to think?!)
*couch was too soft (its not even that soft to be a couch...)
*it felt too hot here (didn't feel hot at all before I started)
*all the noise
*back ache

I know all that is just me being so distracted with everything that's going on. I found myself looking for a more comfortable position, thinking a lot. Thinking how to describe all that came to mind in english because of this journaling... And all the time the "I'm not supposed to think" -record was playing in the backround. I'm usually ok with thinking (even yesterday) and am able to let go at least to some extent. This was different.

So I decided to let go. I just wanted to sit as still as possible and not let my thinking destroy the moment so that I would stop. I just let my mind go wild and didn't control it at all. That helped a little. I was still kind of relieved when the 15 minutes was up

Now I think I need some physical element to bring me back to the moment if this ever happens again. This far I've been using music and sometimes a candle to direct my focus when it comes to listening and visual elements. I'll probably take a small rock my mum foud last summer from a bech during our holiday in Montenegro. It feels good in my hand and has a white cross in gray backround - art made by nature. I'm christian so I don't mind mixing a religious aspect to this too. It feels good to think God is there while I meditate.

Tomorrow I'll be guiding a meditation to my actors . I feel there is a difference when meditating alone and when meditating in a group. I'll be back to report about that, too.

Love to all of you,
Annamarika

Post: #3

I am interested to hear about your experience with your actors! I also struggle with too much thinking! (and in this challenge, I start thinking about how I will write about what I am doing....that is living way too much in the future)

Tara Brach - who's meditations I enjoy - says that when your mind drifts into thoughts, to simply note "Thinking....thinking....thinking..." until your focus comes back to the present moment. 'Thinking' is also something that happens, so we just note it, and move on. Maybe that will help you.

Even at it's worst, the meditation is better than no meditation, isn't it?

Post: #4

Oh Ann! I have the same, I think most of us challenge-meditators do. I think too much of this as something to accomplish when meditation is just the opposite. You are meditating when you accomplish absolutely nothing at all

Yep, meditation at it's worst is still wonderfull!

DAY 3 (monday)

I only had one actor meditating with me. (The other got caught in traffic and my musician had a long practise elsewhere)
She is a very near friend and I felt somehow shy with meditating with her. I didn't really guide the meditation much. Just explained why I brought the small rock with me. I also had a rock for her to try.

We did 10 minutes together and while I got over being shy, it went fine. It was kind of my usual stuff. Not too much preassure bust nothing very special either. So I'm happy!

After meditating in our theatre-practice I always leave room for prayer and writing. One can write whatever comes to mind after the meditation and we don't speak in 5-10 minutes after meditation. I find myself asking tons of questions about myself and my behaviour, toughts, values etc. It's amazing. It almost feels like someone else is asking those questions from me. Many times I get a new perspective to something I've been worried about or something that's been dragging me down. I highly recommend writing after meditation to everyone! Don't think too much, just write

As for today: we had a LONG talk with my husband. It seems like we are finally on the same page - both wanting to get things cleared and start fresh together to save our marriage. I can't describe how relieved I am. There is still a lot of work to do, but I'm sure we'll make it work some day.

Now it's so late I'll only do 5 minutes. Its better than nothing, right
(And guess what! He wants to meditate with me.)

---

Day 4 (tuesday)

Five good minutes done. Amazing how much such a short period of meditating effects me. There is no excuse for me not to do some every day. I should stop being perfectionist about it and just go for it more often! I think that's something that works in every area of life - not just meditation

Time to get some sleep - It'll be one wonderfull but hectic day tomorrow.

Sleep tight everyone!
Annamarika

Post: #5

DAY 5 (wednesday)

My day started with five minutes. It's still morning. I'm drinking my cappucino and getting ready to go to school.
Meditating in the morning feels right. It makes the day start smoother. It's funny that after meditating I feel there is more time in my morning even if there is five minutes less Somehow meditation helps me not to rush around but do things in order and think before doing them. That gives me the opportunity to enjoy this home made cappucino and write some diary as I still have 20 minutes before I need to go and I'm already all ready

Post: #6

It sounds like the seeds are starting to sprout huh. not only that but spreading meditation to other parts of your life. I applaud you. i've considered it so many times, even before the challenge and yet i was hesitant of taking that one step. Haha I think you got me inspired now. I'd imagine Ms. Chua would be proud

Post: #7

Ace Of Keys: Thank you for your comment I love meditation just as it is but I'm also thrilled with the extra benefits it brings to my life! I absolutely encourage you to just start. Even three minutes can make a difference. Every time I meditate I remember how much it gives to me and still I've been skipping it in the past! I hope this challenge will help stick to it.

Good luck!

Post: #8

DAY 6 (thursday)

I did 10 minutes. I almost skipped this today. I'm not doing that well physically, I've catched the cold and its not easy to breath. Anyhow.. that's no excuse.

I did my 10 minutes with music and was thinking a lot about our upcomming trip to Brussels. I have some packing to do and need to clean and get everything ready alone for our cat-sitter as my husband is on a business-trip. So while meditating I found myself thinking deep toughts about which black dress to take and if my daughter needs one or two pairs of shoes there... As minutes went by my mind let go of packing little by little.

Tomorrow I don't have school and I'll try to meditate more than once while getting ready for the trip!

Post: #9

Annamarika - I also experienced the feeling of MORE time available, even when I take time out to meditate.

I love your meditation on packing for a trip....I am sure that it will help calm your packing that you took some time to sit and reflect on it, even if that wasn't your intention!

So...enjoy your trip to Brussels!

How old is your daughter? I have a 9 year old son (almost 10).

Post: #10

Ann! That's just amazing. I think meditation just gives you the perspective you need for everyday life. For me the feeling of having more time connects with feeling that I'm in charge of how my time is spent. I love it!

Haha, the packing toughts were not intentional but yeah, I did a good job - we only have 2 small luggage for a weeks trip for all three of us ...and we are only leaving sunday. So I'm calm and ready ahead of time. What a feeling!

My daughter will be three years old next month. I can't believe she's been here three years alredy!

---

DAY 7 (friday)

I'm a little dissapointed today as I only did seven minutes. It would be a good ampunt of meditation time in any normal day but today I would have had time to do more. i have no excuse. I was just thinking "I'll do it in a minute." That never happened.

I'll commit to start tomorrow meditating at least five minutes when my daughter is watching the cartoons. And another round during her naps or in the evening. I would need someone to push me in the right direction. Then again, I know I can be that someone to me.

In todays seven minutes I was thinking in English (!). And the funny part is that I was thinking "Hmmmm, am I thinking? If I'm thinking, what is it that's going on in my mind? This is English!! Am I only meditating for the challenge? Nope. I've done this before..." Luckily I started to respond to myself in Finnish and slow myself down a little.

I think I should start meditating for longer periods as well as these short spurts. As usually I quit right when my mind is slowing down. I have enjoyed longer meditation before. This hectic life-situation makes me think I need to do everything more effectively. That's the most ridiculous way of approaching meditation.

Maybe I'll gat around taking a little bit more tome for it.

Post: #11

DAY 8 (saturday)

Woohoo! I did my morning meditation while cartoons I did ten minutes lying down in alexander technique -position (book under my head). My neck has been very bad for a couple of days and I'm hoping to get it better. It wasn't that different meditating in that position. I think I'll be combinig Alexander technique and meditation in the future as long as my head will turn again

Post: #12

Today it'll be two days update again

DAY 9 (sunday)

Yesterday was sunday and we travelled from Helsinki to Brussels. I didn't have time to meditate at home so when we finally arrived here, had a nice late dinner with friends and went to bed I was so ready to skip my meditation. But I got my laptop out of the luggage, found a random 5 minute -mediation music from youtube and did it sitting on the bed where rest of my family already slept in. I fell asleep right after that, so no deep insights.

DAY 10 (monday)

I'm so so so happy to have a week off of everything. We ate a long breakfast and went to a walk in the town and had lunch. Now my dauhter and husband are taking a nap and I'm having my own quiet time.

I took 11 minutes and did my meditation in Alexanders technique again. I love that!
Now I got this weird, wonderful but also a kind of scary feeling that I'm losing my lines. It's hard to explain but it feels like I'm physically expanding and shrinking at the same time. It also feels like my body isn't clearly separate from everything but that the lines of my body are merging to the surroundings.

I'm off to do some not-at-all school related reading now

Have a wonderfull week everyone!

Post: #13

(10-15-2011 04:14 PM)Annamarika Wrote:  DAY 8 (saturday)

Woohoo! I did my morning meditation while cartoons I did ten minutes lying down in alexander technique -position (book under my head). My neck has been very bad for a couple of days and I'm hoping to get it better. It wasn't that different meditating in that position. I think I'll be combinig Alexander technique and meditation in the future as long as my head will turn again

Hey Annamarika, something that might help your neck is tucking in your chin when you're lying down instead of lifting your nose up tilt it down a little and this will naturally elongate your neck so that you are lying on the bottom part of your head and not on the top, and pinching any nerves! I used to have the same problem after Yoga classes during the Sivasna pose, one of my teachers told me the correct way to actually lie down was to tuck my chin into my neck and it definitely did help

Post: #14

Hi Saf,
I've been tucking my chin in this Alexander tachnique -position. It kind of makes your neck longer doesn't it I think my problem is the posotion of my neck in everyday life. If I'm tense, my whole neck gets all messed up.

DAY 11 (tuesday)

Today I took a nap instead of meditating. It was a good choise as I only slept a little last night. When I woke up, I did 6 minutes. My daughter was up too and wanted to sit on my lap so I had some troubles consentrating but it was better than skipping

Post: #15

[quote='Annamarika' pid='15535' dateline='1318947583']
Hi Saf,
I've been tucking my chin in this Alexander tachnique -position. It kind of makes your neck longer doesn't it I think my problem is the posotion of my neck in everyday life. If I'm tense, my whole neck gets all messed up.
__________________________________________________________________Oh yeah...I can totally understand that Annamarika...it's funny how we carry tension on different parts of our body!

Post: #16

Yooohoooo!!! Annamarika come back to us!