21DJC Day 14 – What Is Love?

This is Day 14 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.

Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 14 of 21DJC! :) Yesterday’s question was: “What Do You Fear Most?“. (Read the responses.)

What do I fear the most? One of my 5 core values (We will work on uncovering our values next month, during Day 15 of Live a Better Life in 30 Days Program) is “Courage”. The reason why I picked Courage as my core value, is because I think living in fear is one of the worst ways to live life.

Why do I say that? Because fear is the mind killer. When you live in fear or something, you start living in a box, whereby the boundary of the box is defined by your fear. The thing is, this fear, if not linked to any physical danger, is merely an illusion that limits your life experience. You may think you are safe by having your life governed by this fear, and you may theoretically feel safe, but the truth is you are repressing yourself for no real reason. Read: Why Overcome Fear?

Because fear is such a pointless, disempowering emotion, I make a conscious effort to unroot my fears whenever I face one. I first get clarity on what I’m fearful about, after I seek to understand them. Then, I work on dissolving the fear itself. I’ve written in detail about how I do this in How To Overcome Fear (3-part series), exclusive series in Personal Excellence Book, Volume 1.

That said, there are definitely things I’m fearful of, that I’ve not worked through. I’d say working through our fears is a life long journey. For every layer of fear I unravel, there will be new layers of fear underneath. These reflect the new phases of growth I’ve to to through. Personally, I see fears as indicators of what I need to work on next, so it’s a great compass for my growth.

The current fears I’m dealing with include fear that I’m not good enough, fear that I’ll be all alone, fear that no one loves me, fear that I cannot lose weight, fear that I’m too ugly, fear that I’ll never be loved. These are things which I look forward to writing and sharing in detail at Personal Excellence in the upcoming future, as I work through the issues.

I want to take this chance to thank all of you for earnestly sharing your fears here.

With PE, I strive to create a safe space where all of us can share our thoughts and pursue our growth without judgment or prejudice. As I look at the community we have right now, I feel that we *are* living this at this moment. This is incredible. I was just having a conversation with one of the regular PE members, Matt, earlier this week, and we both agreed that PE is easily the most conscious communities either of us have seen online. I can’t be more proud of all of us here.

Thank you for being a part of Personal Excellence. I’m very grateful for your existence.

With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!

21DJC Day 14

Today’s question is:

What Is Love?

What Does Love Mean To You?

What words or phrases would you use to describe love? How do you identify if you are feeling the emotion of love, or something else? What does the word ‘love’ mean to you?

(Note: “Love” here refers to whatever kind of love you define it to be. For example, love between humans, parental love, sibling love, love between friends, love between spouses. It doesn’t (and shouldn’t) have to be just romantic love.)

Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.

(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)

What Is Love?

Your Task Today:

  1. Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
  2. Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
  3. Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D

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« 21DJC Day 13 – What Do You Fear Most?

21DJC Day 15 – What is the Most Painful Thing You Have Ever Experienced To Date? »

124 Responses | Share Your Results!

  1. May says:

    I’m afraid that this question is too much for me. I feel that I have never been loved (which is not true). The real problem of this is my personality. I easily feel the negative emotions rather than the love people have for me. My negative thinking overshadows my positive one so I am always complaining, always wondering if anyone will love me. I know everyone is loved, yet I have a hard time really…experiencing it.

    Right now, love is an empty emotion for me…I really need to work on my thinkings~ I was just arguing with my brothers just now, so I’m feeling quite negative as of currently (my apologies).

    But, I think that my love for things I like (books, interests such as dancing, violin, etc) is definitely there. I think those are obsessions (?) rather than love.

    I think this question is too in depth for me, I’m afraid that I cannot answer this well.

    Like: Thumb up +3

    • Ellen says:

      Sweet May, I’m just wandering how do you feel towards yourself? Can you look at your self and tell you that you are perfect just the way you are? Will you try? Because you are just perfect the way you are, learning and growing and only becoming more beautifully you :heart:

      Like: Thumb up +3

  2. Alban Brice says:

    For me Love equals the ability to do to others as you would have them do to you.

    Like: Thumb up +4

  3. Peggy says:

    Love is faithful, it is everlasting, it is patient and kind. Love can be unconditional or not. It’s an appreciation for another person in spite of or because of their faults and problems. It is possible to love someone but not like them very much. I’ve been loved and I love and life would be sad without love.

    Like: Thumb up +4

  4. Julia Shirey says:

    Love means accepting accepting a person for what they are. Love means that warm, happy feeling you get when you are near, or think about the object of your love. Love means feeling safe, and appreciated. Do I really know what love means? I know that I love my children, without a doubt, even the one that I do not like very much. I know I did love my ex, but that I do not anymore, even when I think about the life that we shared. I say I love coffee, and chocolate, and cosmos, and when all my patients sleep safely at the same time and I can take a break in peace. I know that my children love me, even when they are ignoring me, and I feel left out. I know that my children love each other, even when they feel that each other’s choices are flawed. And I know that they love their dad, even though they are angry with him, and even though I no longer do (and they know that as well). But I really don’t know that I do know what love means.

    Like: Thumb up +2

  5. Bett says:

    Love is feeling part of Something Greater than myself, a feeling of being “home” with myself in the Presence of that Greater Self.

    Love actually to me is feeling connected toThe Source, the Place inside my Highest Self that exists simply because the Spark of Divine breathed me into existence.

    Love is the warm, knowing part of my feeling consciousness that feels love:
    for God, for myself, for friends and family, for people I have never met,
    for a cherished love relationship, for Mother Nature, for a pet, for animals,
    for breathing life into one’s purpose.

    Love is warm memories.
    Love is the feeling of warmth I feel in my heart when I help others, or give freely to others.
    Love is when I feel joyful for others’ reaching their goals and realizing their dreams come true.

    Love, feeling it and receiving it gives me rosy cheeks.
    It makes me feel full, nurtured, fulfiled in and of itself.
    Love is a river that unites the two banks on the opposite sides of its constant Flow.


    Like: Thumb up +6

  6. Fiat says:

    Surprisingly, I find it hard to describe love in words or phrases. So move on to feeling and emotion. Upon reading or hearing the word ‘love’ if feel extremely happy and joyful.

    And I found when I’m happy and joyful. I’m feeling the emotion of love. I can smile towards others, nice to others, content, and at peace.

    Like: Thumb up +4

  7. Prion says:

    Love is a total commitment to the ultimate good of the beloved.
    Love is not a mere feeling…it goes beyond that, into wordless devotion.

    Love is not a breeze at it’s zenith,
    But a river at it’s deepest…

    Love sacrifices the self for Good.

    A few good movies that illustrate this are:
    Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam
    I Have Found It

    A good song: “Love Is Not A Fight”–Warren Barfield

    Love is a Person, the Divine Source of the Universe. God.

    Like: Thumb up +4

  8. Karen says:

    It means more than what I recieve in life. I am always the one looking for ways to express my love in every relationship in my life as a mom wife sister daughter niece member in church. What has really been a drastic hardship is discovering others have their own definintion of love and it is not returning love as I freely give them.

    Like: Thumb up +2

    • Bob says:

      Hi Karen,
      I am sure there are many people happy to share how you express you love in relationships. Everyone wants different things and probably not exactly the same as you from a relationship. I find that by focusing more on people who respond gives a warmer response because they are already open to share.

      Like: Thumb up +2

  9. Kimberly says:

    What does love mean to me? To me it means caring for someone unconditionally and having the willingness to do anything for that person. Love is acceptance, friendship beyond words, and devotion to one another. It’s the reason I can’t wait to get home at night from work.

    I used to think nobody, aside from my family, could love me. For a while, I doubted if even my family loved me anymore. For me, love happened when I least expected it, and I am happy to share that with my spouse. I have realized that many people can love you without ever saying it, but I do tell my husband I love him everyday.

    And I also love tea. I can’t wait to get home at night for that either, lol. :)

    Like: Thumb up +3

  10. lotusbleu says:

    Love to me right now is nothing more than feeling compassion for fellow humankind or earthlings. It fuels me for what I’m doing and with whom I’m hanging out or having a conversation.

    Like: Thumb up +4

  11. Laurel says:

    Love is a pure power
    It is not an emotion, because emotions are transitory
    Love lies under the emotions

    Love is the opposite of fear
    It is the embodiment of courage
    Fear fades in the presence of true love

    Love is unconditional
    It sees through the scars of the world
    Love sees beauty

    This is what love means to me at least, what I’ve found from my experience.

    Like: Thumb up +8

  12. meganjudymax says:

    Love is the most beautiful experience a human being ever go through. It is impossible for any human being to become loveless at all because Love is God. God is love, because He loves us so much that each one of us received His greatest gift – LOVE. Love is a wonderful and a greatest feeling especially when we experience it with respect, dignity, unconditional, sharing, happiness with peace because love is sacred. On the contrary, if Love is misuse, taken for granted, abused, then it is the worst thing a human being would ever experience. Just imagine, for example, loving your pet unconditionally, don’t you agree that you will experience unforgettable experience in your life because we feel so blessed with God’s infinite love. God bless us all with His love, peace, and wisdom.

    Like: Thumb up +1

  13. Iva says:

    :love: Love is an incredibly beautiful emotion that I cannot describe in words. I feel it for the people or things that I care for, have emotional attachment, be attracted to, feel affection or any similar feelings.

    Like: Thumb up +5

    • Ezza says:

      Absolutely. Love is one of the hardest emotions to express on paper. It is SO easy to express ones love to others and inwards. I think love is as you said “the people or things that I care for, have emotional attachment, be attracted to, feel affection or any similar feelings.”
      Beautiful! :dance:

      All the Best of Friendship and Love,
      Ezzy xxxx

      Like: Thumb up +1

  14. Jeffrey Q says:

    Love is elation, sadness, happiness, joy, concern, respect, honor, dedication, acceptance, denial, pride, jealous, infinite.
    It makes the world go round.
    It makes the world fall apart.
    Love, to me, is the bond that connects me to everyone else in the world.

    Like: Thumb up +2

  15. Anu says:

    Love is the most important thing in life, life’s most precious gift. It means accepting people as they are- unconditional. The feeling that motivates you to help, nurture and protect your dear ones even they themselves do not realize they need it. It’s about never giving up on them, helping them grow and encouraging them to reach for the stars.

    Someone told me that love is when you can both kill and DIE for a person.

    Thankfully, love begets love. So I have lots of people around me who support me in everything I do, who rejoice in my happiness and success, lend a strong shoulder during my lows and help me learn from my failures.

    True love empowers you and gives you the confidence of conquering the whole world.

    Like: Thumb up +2


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