21DJC Day 9 – What Drives You?
This is Day 9 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 9 of 21DJC! 
Yesterday’s question was: “On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?“. (Read the responses.)
Self-love is such a tricky topic. Do you love yourself? How much do you love yourself?
The modern society has taught us to be unhappy with ourselves. That we’re not thin enough, not toned enough, not muscular enough, not attractive enough, not rich enough, not smart enough, not skilled enough, not successful enough, not accomplished enough, not well-known enough – and what have you.
Because of that, feelings of self loathe become embedded in us, subconsciously. Our journey through life then becomes a process where we reverse what we were conditioned with since young; where we discover who we are on the inside; where we evolve into our ideal selves.
I’ve come quite a long way where self-love is concerned. In the past, I really hated myself. I was emotionally stingy, I was judgmental, I was critical – I was basically difficult to be around. I didn’t even like me – there were often times when I felt that I could never stand it if I ever had to be around someone who had the exact personality as mine. I didn’t realize it then, but looking back, my self-love was probably in the negative range.
It’s been a few years, but I’ve worked on becoming a better person since then, and I’m a lot more at peace with who I am today. I think I’m still far from being my ideal self, and there’s a lot I need to work on, but I appreciate myself a lot more than I used to.
I believe being a better person is a journey and not an end point. By constantly growing, it helps me to become a better person day after day, which in turn makes me appreciate myself more. If there’s ever anything I don’t like about myself, I’ll reflect on it, develop my desired traits, and shed off the undesirable ones. I believe I’m on the right path, and in time to come I’ll achieve the same level of unconditional, self-love which my higher self has for me.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
21DJC Day 9
On Day 6, you answered the question: What Frustrates You?. Today, I’d like to invite you to think about something different:
What Drives You?
What drives you in life? What do you live for? What are the times when you feel charged up and ready to take on the world? And why?
(Today’s question can be found in #77 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.
(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)
What Drives You?
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Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
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Goals to aim for.
I was quite disheartened at the start of this year, as things didn’t go quite to plan – and let myself get stuck in a bit of a rut. But then I forced myself to focus and think of a plan, something to aim for, so I can feel inspired to move forward again! So now my plans for the start of 2012 are a TEFL course overseas in January, and then some travelling around Europe whilst I figure out the next step. These are two things that I really, really want to do – and it’s quite liberating that this plan has only been formed down to me and my own decisions. This in turn gives me the drive I need at the moment. For example, just with silly things like my work at the moment; I might not enjoy it, and it might not be ideal, but I still get up and go – because I know I am lucky to have this job, and it’s giving me the finances and freedom to achieve next year’s plans.
On the occasions when I feel a bit stressed about it all (the good old “what on earth am I doing? Is this the right decision?” spur of the moment panics!) and feel uninspired to carry on, then I turn to my family. They’ve always been so supportive of me, and somehow know just what to say to make sure I keep going.
Likewise, I also like looking at travel websites and blogs; seeing people living what I want to do in person, and reading about all their adventures, really gives me the urge to jump out of my seat and just go, right now! …or at least, keep going with my preparations until I can get on the plane next year. I am addicted to the Lonely Planet website!
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What drives me??
- anything that gives me a feeling of purpose (being needed, being helpful, creating something that makes someone happy or that they need)
- the need to feel like I have contributed or been productive in some way, I hate wasted time or feeling I have accomplished nothing…
- the positive energy in others…when those around me are happy and ambitious and energetic, they fuel my body and soul like a battery and I feel healthier and have more strength even on a bad day.
- making others happy or more comfortable, facilitating their needs before they even knew they needed it! It’s the hospitality industry mentality in me
- doing what I’ve said I will by the time I’ve said I would. (Sometimes a drive that can cause me to really run myself into the ground since I also have a problem saying no and setting limits. hehe)
- the expectations of my family or “others” in general (I don’t like to admit this one but I still let perceived or real expectations of others often determine whether or not I do something and also effect the choices I make)
What do I live for??
- Learning, growing, knowledge and new experiences…seeing life from someone elses perspective or way of life
- My family, my friends and the times when we can get together to share and laugh and you can tangibly feel the love in the room
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What drives me? The car does! But I don’t live in soviet Russia
Seriously though, what drives me is my purpose in life. And my purpose in life is to always try and be a better believer in God which encompasses being a better daughter, a better neighbour, a better friend and so many other things which in turn causes happiness in my life.
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Unfortunately, I think a lot of what drives me is based in fear. I fear dying without having left my mark on the world, I fear meaninglessness, I fear uncertainty,
Some of this drives me to achieve, but it’s almost like there’s an opposite pull that keeps me from doing the best I can.
I’ve turned a few things into positives lately. I’ve figured out that my purpose it to help others form greater understanding about their relationships with others, and that is pretty motivating.
I think I’m just in a bad place right now. Reading over my entries for the past few days, I was shocked at how negative I am. If I read my personal journal entries, it’s even worse. I’ve always thought of myself as a positive person, but now I really have to question that. It might be one of those delusional things: I WANT to be a positive person, so that’s how I see myself, even if it isn’t true. Or maybe I’m just more up-and-down than I’d like to admit, and I’m in a down phase right now.
Ugh. Well, I guess all of this journalling is serving it’s purpose in that it’s forcing me to face up to some things. Not exactly fun, but necessary.
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Dear Christina i sincerely know that kind of feeling as i myself have been down that road. One thing for sure is that, yes you can go on and achieve but the unfortunate thing is that whenever you achieve anything out of fear, you tend to spend the rest of your time very fearful of loosing it. How about achieving out of love to help other people achieve too? Just imagine if you assisted a father to be strong and go for whatever they desired to a point of him making that extra dollar to be able to buy his kids that toy they been longing for, for long time. Those little giggles from the kids voices
so happy to have that new toy and the twinkle in their father’s eyes ,believe me,will get you to crave to help even more families.
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You are right, of course, and there is nothing more rewarding than helping others. It’s what I want to do, but right now, I guess I’m questioning my motives a bit. I want to be sure I do things for the right reasons, not just because I think I should, or because it plays into those fears I listed.
Thank you for your response!
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For me is my catch phrase…to ignite a fire within others. My passion and driving force is to help others be the best they can be.
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Knowing that I’ll die one day. So much to experience and learn and share.
A really good laugh.
An intense curiosity and excitement about the world.
A sense of awe and wonder.
My dear friends and family.
Sometimes a sense of outrage.
Inspirational people like Bishop Desmond Tutu, Grayson Perry, Miranda July, my children.
Gratitude (ie when I see a shooting star, a full moon, trees in their beautiful autumn colours, new-born lambs) for example.
Appreciation for being alive.
Sex.
Inner journeying and tarot work.
Wanting to tread lightly in the world and also work towards the alleviation of suffering – my own and others.
Witnessing and practising friendship and love.
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I have thought this through for a good hour after reading the question. I guess what drives me the most is the need to live my life without regret. When my life comes to an end, I want to be able to look back and feel that I have lived my life the best way possible, that I have realized my full potential, that I have developed my self consistently towards the ideal self that I aspire, that my life have been meaningful to others.
Because of that, I want to pursue my passion in social business, because in doing that I feel happy, excited, and full of energy. I want to love what I’m doing and do what I love. I want to do something with my life that will benefit others in need and hopefully will make the world a better place.
Because of that, I became an avid learner. I love to listen and learned. I love to challenge and develop my self, both personally and professionally, which is the reason why I participate in this challenge and meet all of you, fantastic and positive individuals.
Because of that, I want to become a good person in every role in my life, as a daughter, a professional, a sister, a Moslem, a friend, a colleague.
And also because of that, I struggle to find where meaning lies for me, to focus my efforts on the things that matters like love, family, contribution, self development, and humanity among others.
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This is one of the more obtuse of my answers …
What drives me?
There isn’t any one thing that drives me. There also isn’t any reason why a certain thing drives me. They are like sigils and symbols, the best of which are totally indirect and least meaningful.
Examples?
A bunch of totally unrelated things like the English opening in Chess, Lambda calculus and system programming. I get motivated by just calling them to mind. Just so. I can make a list of them but I can’t explain why they work the way they do. They feel like sunrise or like stories …
A story about stories
In the past I used to think often that life is worthless. I would stay thus until I came across a story (in a film or a book). Some stories are very powerful and anthem-like – and we find enough of such when we need them. Stories don’t imply anything any more than life implies anything. So when you lose direction in life, go find your story. Religion is also a manner of story.
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I want to say challenges when I feel challenged to be better me and do better things ( levelling up).
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What drives you in life? What do you live for? What are the times when you feel charged up and ready to take on the world? And why?
I think people’s motivations change as they get older and/or grow in consciousness. A person’s priorities change as his or her life circumstances change. As I am still relatively young and not yet in my career, I consider my primary motivation in life to find my purpose. I know that my life purpose will encompass something to add value to people’s lives either individually or collectively. I excel at a few things, and will undoubtedly excel at anything I decide to do. I just haven’t figured out how, or the best, most efficient way, I am going to fulfill my purpose. So, still in the planning stages.
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Before i talk about what exactly drives me, i just want to look at a few factors that drive or motivate people to perform whatever it is that they do. It is a feeling of loosing something, and you may call this fear too, that drives most people to do stuff. The fear of loosing ones job will drive them to go to work day in day out even when one does not feel like waking up that day. This is because the consquence
of not having a job is frightening. You wonder how you going to be able to take care of your family, not being able to pay all your bills or even your rent or mortgage. That unpleasant feeling will get you to do the a job even when you detest it. Some people get motivated by the feeling they get from impressing others. They go on to do and achieve success to satisfy there ego. These people will accumulate all fancy and flashy stuff or material things just to impress others and unfortunately their agenda, most of the time is ”what is in it for me”,in other words that element of greed could never allow them to know when enough is enough. Recognition is there thing most of the time.
Then there other people that get motivated, purely by the warmth feeling they get when they help others get what they want out of life. Just to see another humankind breathing easily because they did something to help, will motivate them to keep helping even more needy people. The love they have towards other people plus the feeling they get when they assist others is what drives them. You find these people seeking knowledge from all credible sources to better themselves so that they can be able to teach others also to be better than they are. I am glad to tell you now that i do fall into this category. To me the love i have towards others and the feeling i get by helping others succeed, is what drives me to even work hard on myself to be the best i can be so that i can be able to give back.
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I am driven by desire to experience life, to do things, to serve people, to improve lives and to learn. I am looking for something-I am looking for the meaning or definition of being human. I am driven by passion and gratitude. Wow, that’s a lot.
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What drives me? A few things:
- LOVE: love for myself, for my husband , my kids, mother , friends. And also feeling loved by them. Knowing people care for me.
- Learning and growing. I am keen to learn and have a great time when I am learning or researching any topic – whether work or personal. It also leads to my love of travelling and discovery of new places.
- A sense of achievement: setting goals and achieving them, planning, organising
- Feeling like I’ve contributed to something or made a difference , whether at work or in my personal life
These are directly related to my values. These elements also come back several times, e.g. in Character or Strengths tests, and other questionnaires.
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Hi Ish….you are highly motivated in nearly all spheres of your life. Keep up the spirit.
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Traveling makes me happy, being with my friend, I do anything to be with them. Kids as well bring out the best of me, I love them. And my dreams, my aims in life are very important, and I’ll do anything for them even thought I have very hard to find the paths that will direct me into making the true. So I have lots of fights in head of me. Lets fight, it’s the fight of my dreams, the fight of my life.
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While it is not always the best driver, competition drives me. I have always loved striving for the top — amongst my peers as well as against myself. Lately, that has become more important to me: beating myself. Constantly improving. Increasing my strengths and skills. Developing my abilities. While my passions and interests constantly evolve and change, this desire to push to be better remains.
I’m also a collector, not so much of things, but of knowledge and experience. I love to learn and read, which is evident in my to-read book list, the piles of magazines around the house and my Google Reader. I am constantly reading and absorbing new information. I also enjoy traveling and exploring new parts of my community. I am an avid Yelper and love trying new businesses and posting reviews. I challenge myself at work to learn new parts of the business and get involved in different projects.
All of this goes into transforming myself into the best version possible, which I think is one of the reasons we are here. As Celes wrote, in reflection of the self-love posts, we are all on a journey to become better, and that journey has no end. It is the journey that matters — what pushes us and the choices we make.
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