21DJC Day 8 – On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?

This is Day 8 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.

Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 8 of 21DJC! :)

Yesterday’s question was: “What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?“. (Read the responses.)

There have been so many things I’ve learned to date, and each of them has been important in its own right. From lessons like follow your heart, trust your instinct, always address the root cause of issues and not the effects, open your heart to others and others will do the same, the outer state of your life reflect your inner beliefs than anything else, when there’s a will there’s a way, nothing is impossible in this world, your inner self has all the answers, you always have a choice, the limits we face in life are to do with us than anything else, growing is the best thing one can do as a person, life is what you make it out to be, the only limits we face in life are ourselves, and many more.

Hence, if you are to ask me one thing I’ve learned in life so far, I’d say it’s that I’ve learned nothing. That there are so many new things out there, so many incredible, talented people, so many wonderful experiences that I’ve yet to experience. That the more I learn and grow, the more I realize how much I’ve to learn. I’ve found this to be especially true since I started my travels.

The implication then, is that we should always be open to new things. Don’t close yourself off from new experiences. Don’t close yourself off from people. Don’t rule out new opportunities for growth. Most importantly, don’t be closed off in your beliefs. (On Days 26-27 of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program, you identify your limiting thoughts and replace them with empowering ones.)

With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!

21DJC Day 8

Today’s question is this:

On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?

Reflecting on Life

Self-love is a topic that’s so important, yet rarely talked about in the realm of personal growth. Hence, today I’d like to ask you to reflect on this: How much do you love yourself on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest? And why?

Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.

(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)

On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?

Your Task Today:

  1. Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
  2. Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
  3. Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
Look forward to reading your answers! :D

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« 21DJC Day 7 – What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?

21DJC Day 9 – What Drives You? »

212 Responses | Share Your Results!

  1. Raven says:

    How much do I love myself?? This luckily has changed just within the last couple of years from what might have been a 3 or 4 to now I can say a solid 8. I would love to say 10 but that wouldn’t be honest to myself or the journaling.

    I would say an 8 because I am still working on the process of loving everything about myself.

    I do not like my need to control my health and have more choice in my good days and bad days.
    I do not like that I have phobias and fears that keep me from interacting with people and going out socially more often when I am physically well enough to, my mental hang-ups still hold me back.
    I do not like that I subconciously have hung on to emotional baggage that is almost 10 years old now!! I say it’s in the past when I’m awake, but when I go to sleep or drop my guard, I clearly have not gotten over some scarring moments from my previous life choices.
    I do not like that I often feel that I am a weak person because I can’t do things I think I should be able to do or accomplish a task that I have set for myself.

    On the other hand I like that:
    1. I am a strong, determined and persistent person that doesn’t give up easily and will do almost anything for a friend or family member.
    2. I am crafty and artistic and creative, and enjoy the gift of music in my life as well.
    3. I am not “normal” at all. That I can make at least most of my choices without caring what everyone else will say or think. That I dyed my hair purple just because it makes me happy when I see it and is so fun!!
    4. I am trying to grow and learn as person both intellectually and spiritually and that I have the desire to be a better me.
    5. I can find happiness in the littlest of things such as small statue or charm or PEZ dispenser.
    6. I create things that people find joy in and that make them happy. I can cook things that bring others comfort.
    7. I fight to regain as much quality of life as I can get. I try new medicines, I attempt home remedies, I let myself get discouraged by unlimited setbacks.
    8. I love myself enough to love others in an unconditional and whole self sort of way finally. Without restraint and without mistrust or doubt.

    So there are 8 reasons I love myself enough to rate an “8″ :heart:

    Like: Thumb up +1

    • Raven says:

      I just realized after reading a comment by Iva that I definitely answered the question more along the lines of how HAPPY I am with myself because I even listed the reasons I didn’t score a perfect 10 and the reasons why I “LOVE” myself the number I gave. But really it IS the number of how happy I am with myself and not love.
      My brain interpreted the question so differently that it makes me think that maybe I have things I am unhappy with that I need to deal with because that is how I perceived the question though it clearly states LOVE!! Thanks for mentioning this Iva because you’re right. My answer would be different for how much I love myself. I would then be a 10 because I love all of me just as you said! Flaws and all and the fact that I strive everyday to improve myself and be the best me there possibly is makes me love me even more!!
      Glad someone make the distinction because I think alot of us rated by happinees rather than love :)
      Raven :heart:

      Like: Thumb up +1

  2. kathy says:

    i give myself an 8, but i constantly work towards a 10…this morning, while having my coffee, listening to my playlist, i was reflecting on my response to a dear friends’ no-show to our agreed on chat last nite at 8pm, jkt time (that’s 9pm, mla time).

    i was about half a minute naming how i am understanding that he will never stand me up on purpose, or hurt me recklessly, and how he is a decent person…when i caught myself focusing on understanding him, and not first acknowledging how i feel…so, am glad that i caught myself early enough, and started looking within, acknowledging my initial frustration and hurt, despite the possibility that of the unintentionality of his no-show.

    am glad i gave permission for me to lay-out how i actually felt last night, own-it up, embrace me for feeling — sad, hurt, frustrated, missing him, and not sideline it. I told myself those feelings are real and that there’s nothing wrong in them. then because i allowed them to be there, and just sat with them, and in just a short while, those feelings “went away”, and i was feeling okay. they were not that sharp or intense to begin with, but they stayed for just long enough for me to recognize them and welcome them, then they moved on, leaving me feeling quiet, calm, centered and happy.

    i guess, because of giving “me” and my feelings, whatever they are, the safe space to be in, welcoming them, not judging or putting them down, and sitting with them, listening to what message they bring me, being friends with each other — me to them and they to me — they saw that i got the point of why they are there, and then moved on as they have done/accomplished what they set out to do — to bring me the message of what they are, what led to their being there, and what “gifts” of self-knowledge they bring me.

    i think that process this morning, is a again my attempt, my practice of self-love. i love what i did. i love my high self. indeed, everything that happens to me is for my highest good. namaste!

    Like: Thumb up +2

  3. Charles says:

    Why do you ask such difficult questions? :-)

    To give this a serious answer would require the assistance of a qualified professional as I doubt any of us are capable of being completely objective where self-love is concerned. I’ll give it a stab anyway. I give myself a 5. Why? Well, mainly because I rarely live up to my own standards and values and consistently beat myself up for my short-comings. I know better than to do that. I know that if I really loved myself, I would be more forgiving. I would view my failures and shortcomings as lessons to be learned rather than miserable failures of character or accomplishment. And while I’m getting much better at that, I still fail regularly and I still beat myself up regularly. It’s a real bad habit stemming from stinkin thinkin which results in those ugly conversations with ones self. But I’m working on it!

    Like: Thumb up 0

    • Raven says:


      I have the same problem and really do fault myself when I fall short of my expectations and feel guilty or weak. And I know better than that too!! I even tell myself that setting realistic goals is not the same as having low expectations but I still seem to have this cycle of setting myself up to fail. I am concious of the issue, I have improved on my behavior and often catch myself before the beating and tell myself it is okay and I am not worthless and unproductive but I and not convinced that I believe it truly in my heart. I feel sometimes, that I am going through the motions of acceptance and self-forgiveness but deep down I’m not sure I really did it.

      Just wanted to share that I struggle with this too and if you find any good secrets to dwelling in one’s mind and doing what I call “thinking too much” I would love to cut down on my self-analysis and beratement as well.
      We both need to be allowed to be fallible and still loveable I guess :) Thanks for sharing.
      :heart: Raven

      Like: Thumb up 0

  4. alix says:

    About 5/6 years ago the number would have been 2/3, I had let issuses get to me. Now after a year or so of coming to terms with a lot of my past problems it has risen to 5/6. I still have a ways to go before I can completly love and put myself first but I am trying very hard.

    Like: Thumb up +1

  5. Bryan says:

    I think i’d give myself an 8 or 9. its not that i think highly of myself, i do have my insecurities but I’m proud of how much i’ve accomplished and the difficulties my family and i have faced. it really wasn’t easy and breaking down seemed like the better choice but somehow i felt like that was giving up and running away. I managed to get here because i wanted to move forward and i had a lot of support. I realized and it hit me hard when i read this in a manga, that if something happened to me, there will be people who would be sad. I don’t want to make people sad especially if something happened so i want to do what i can to move forward. it hasn’t been easy but i’ve learned it takes a lot to develop the heart of a lion and thats something i aspire towards. i know its difficult but the first step i can agree on is loving myself and i do. i’ll keep moving forward and be who i want to be instead of who i feel everyone wants me to be ;)

    Like: Thumb up +1

  6. Mary Jane Hoover says:

    last year I would have said on a scale of 1 to 10 with ten being the worst, I wold have said a 12. But this year I have finally put myself on my Gratitude List evey night and I range from 1 to 5 but I am never off the list. Most days I usually list myself last because there is so much more I am thankful for than myslef. But I do I love myself more each day and make myself a priority.

    Like: Thumb up 0

  7. Mirna says:

    Oh, this is a tough one.
    Unfortunetely, on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d have to say a 2.5.
    I am one of those people who puts others before herself and I usually compromise myself for the sake of others. It’s really hurting me now and I must learn to stop it.
    With every assingment I get in college I see how much I expect of myself that it cripples my efforts to the point I just want to give up.
    And I never expect anything from other people, kipping pressure on myself.
    All my insecurities just make me feel more guilty and ashamed, which continues this vicious cycle of self loathing.

    Like: Thumb up 0

  8. Lavanya says:

    Very difficult question to answer as i think this is one of the questions i have never thought of and even while typing this i am not quite clear what i am going to write. Thought for a long time, then decided just would start typing whats going on in my mind.

    1. I did choose myself as the most important person in the world for me. But that just a realization thats come in recent days. So i actually do not take care of myself.

    2. I feel quite smug and happy the days when i have had discipline to think about important things to do and have done it as per my expectation.

    3. there are days when i get very happy when i get surprise appreciation for a task i did without any expectation in my mind

    4. then there are these days when i am very upset with myself for not following through with a discipline/habit that i wanted to sustain. these comes so often that i end up frustrated with things and people around me and then immediately realise i am reacting and stop that. but progress is very slow …..

    If i have to use these observations as logic then probably i am not satisfied with myself and the way i am not alinged to my growth path.

    But still contemplating on this point, from the heart, despite all this after everyday successful/unsuccessful day that night i go to bed with loads of self talk that next day is a new day and i would start over and i am will be what i visualize myself to be. So still in the gloom on frustration and there is a streak of sunlight called optimism which i expect to pull me through and also am guessing because i like myself enough to push myself to succeed in my goals.

    As a mother’s love to a child and the optimism and belief she has in her child which is difficult to rate, i also find it difficult to rate. For me even love for others is in binary form, either you love or you dont love. period.
    For people i love, respect and feel that connection, there is no barrier to what i will try to do for them (like, spouse, children, parents, siblings , friends…) the same way i am clear i do love myself to see me through life’s experiences.

    so the same should go for me. So on a binary i am clear i love myself, just that i should treat myself as a friend and coach/counsel my self to be a better me each and every day compared to the previous day.

    Like: Thumb up +1

  9. Taffi says:

    On a scale of 1 to 10 in self love, i give myself a 4. I believe i have a long way to go. I know i am supposed to love myself as much as i love others (BQ-The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31). I really really want to love others and love them properly, and correctly and in a way which helps them. However, that is not possible unless i love myself at the same amount. I realize i have to take this number higher.
    The second reason why I believe the number should increase is because God created us in His image, why wouldnt we love someone who God created?
    I think the number is low because i am coming to recognize the ugliness and brokenness inside me. I am working on them though……and even though they will never be totally eliminated, i have great hope that they will improve.
    Reasons they are low
    1- Low self worth
    2- Lots of neurosis. An ideal self rearing its head countless times.
    3- Super high standards and the desire to “prove” myself….for no darn reason.
    4- Lack of (and constant need of) solid relationships…reassuring me of my self worth.
    So, how do i improve this…..
    I believe that there are ways. The ways i can think of right now are
    1. Trust the wisdom of the ancients…work on the brokenness and emptyness.
    2. Pray for it.
    3. Have faith and trust and hope
    4. Set realistic goals..and then actually be proud of myself for achieving them.
    5. Love others. Open myself to relationshps…and to being vulnerable etc.

    Like: Thumb up +1

  10. Rahul says:

    I would rate myself at 9.
    9 because, I know what I am and what I can do. I understand the limitless possibilities I can explore in life. I know what I want to do. But scoring 1 less than the perfrect score because I willingly or unwillingly still do few things which are in conflict to my innerself. I do them probably to please my social circle – my family, wife, friends, parents, etc. I do them as social obligation and responsibilities but I don’t really like doing some of those things. And I believe if I am doing something which is in conflict with innerself, then I am being unkind to myself, which I would not have done if I would have loved myself 10 on 10. There I loose 1 point else I love myself pretty much. : )

    Like: Thumb up +1

  11. Aparna says:

    I would rate myself as 7. Earlier i used to hate myself…for wearing specs, not good looking, low self confidence, not able to do things as I wanted etc etc

    Now, I am in the process of accepting myself the way I am and I have really started on to love and take care of myself.

    Like: Thumb up 0

  12. Jen says:

    It’s a pretty low number, probably 4 or 5. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have multiple negative thoughts about myself. I always believe that I could have done things differently, I often wish I could go back in time and undo what I did or unsay something.

    The primary problem, I’ve come to learn, is that I have trouble differentiating between something bad that someone does, and someone being a bad person. I even have trouble differentiating that in other people. I get unduly hurt and upset over bad things that other people do, because then I worry that they are bad people. The same is true for myself, but even more so. Whenever I do something unideal, I can’t shake the thought that only a bad person would have made that mistake, or would have lost their patience, or whatever it is.

    I have been making efforts to change this, though. I’ve been forcing myself to consider that good people make bad decisions or sometimes do unfortunate things, and that this doesn’t make them bad people (myself included). It makes so much more sense, too, to look at things that way, since it means I can change. If I’m a good person who does bad things sometimes, I can figure out how to stop doing them, and make myself better. I’m hoping that soon I’ll be able to say I love myself more.

    Like: Thumb up 0

  13. saranya says:

    On the scale of 1-10 i would like to rate myself on 5.5.considering different angles in life ,the most important things i consider are 1) Personal Development(character as well professional aspects)(rate:4/10th) 2)Relations(family ,relations,friends,love, neighbours) (rate:3/10th)Social responsibility.(3/10th)
    Personal Development:
    CHARACTER:As a human being everyday i want myself to improve and be a better person and i’m on that travel consistently.So i pat myself for that and i would give 1 mark out of 2.
    PROFESSIONAL:I’m trying to keep myself updated with the technology but im not winning everyday so i would just give 0/4..sadly:(
    FAMILY:As a member of family i would love to be more interactive and lovable to my family members and want to inspire them in every single actions I do.And I’m achieving it slowly.
    Im responsive,respective and lovable to relations and friends so I’m satisfied.
    Everday I’m trying to be more lovable and intimate , thus satisfying daily :)
    NEIGHBOURS: I always try to maintain a smooth relationship with my neighbors and try to get good name always.
    So,Overall i would give 2 out of 3.
    I always try to be eco friendly and try not to waste any non-renewable resources and save energy everytime .So I would give 2.5 out of 3:)
    On seeing all these aspects ,love to myself will keep growing when all these channels grow.
    Loving myself truly and I would rate 5.5 :)
    Thanks celes and love you for a Super Challenge Like this,these kind of challenges truly widens our heart as well as knoweledge:) :clap:

    Like: Thumb up 0

  14. Mastermind says:

    Right now, I am confusing self love and self esteem. My self esteem has increased dramatically as I participate in this challenge. i am going to answer this question near the conclusion.

    Like: Thumb up 0

  15. Fiat says:

    I wanted to give full score, but settle on 6.


    1. the fact that I didn’t love my self that much
    2. the fact that I prefer (sometimes, mostly) letting others to get / do what they want first.
    3. I didn’t fight to reach my conscious goal.
    4. I’m not at peace with myself.
    5. the fact that sometimes, I still lost and didn’t know what I really want.

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