21DJC Day 8 – On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?
This is Day 8 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 8 of 21DJC! 
Yesterday’s question was: “What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?“. (Read the responses.)
There have been so many things I’ve learned to date, and each of them has been important in its own right. From lessons like follow your heart, trust your instinct, always address the root cause of issues and not the effects, open your heart to others and others will do the same, the outer state of your life reflect your inner beliefs than anything else, when there’s a will there’s a way, nothing is impossible in this world, your inner self has all the answers, you always have a choice, the limits we face in life are to do with us than anything else, growing is the best thing one can do as a person, life is what you make it out to be, the only limits we face in life are ourselves, and many more.
Hence, if you are to ask me one thing I’ve learned in life so far, I’d say it’s that I’ve learned nothing. That there are so many new things out there, so many incredible, talented people, so many wonderful experiences that I’ve yet to experience. That the more I learn and grow, the more I realize how much I’ve to learn. I’ve found this to be especially true since I started my travels.
The implication then, is that we should always be open to new things. Don’t close yourself off from new experiences. Don’t close yourself off from people. Don’t rule out new opportunities for growth. Most importantly, don’t be closed off in your beliefs. (On Days 26-27 of Be a Better Me in 30 Days Program, you identify your limiting thoughts and replace them with empowering ones.)
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
21DJC Day 8
Today’s question is this:
On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?
Self-love is a topic that’s so important, yet rarely talked about in the realm of personal growth. Hence, today I’d like to ask you to reflect on this: How much do you love yourself on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest? And why?
Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.
(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)
On a Scale of 1-10, How Much Do You Love Yourself?
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Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
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On the scale of 1-10, I think I would choose around 7 or 8 for loving myself. I would never give myself a 10 because that would be when I’m perfect and satisfied in life (which I believe will never happen because no one is perfect). I wouldn’t give myself a 9 because I’m not “up there” yet. I know I can do better in life.
The reason for the 7 or 8 is because I feel like that’s where I am right now. I still have a long way to go in life, there are so many things I haven’t experienced. Of course, loving yourself is a great thing to do. But I don’t love myself…like that yet. I’m not the most optimistic person, in fact, I’m always negative. I have many bad habits and issues to fix before I feel like I can be a 10.
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+2
If you’d asked that a few years ago, I’d have said 3 or 4. But I embarked on a do-it-yourself self esteem project. I studied self-esteem and learned that no amount of praise or success will make you love yourself. You will feel like an impostor. True self worth comes from within and is the result of do things that are helpful and that build up others. As you work to help others, the good feelings permeate your being. Gradually, you start to see yourself in new ways. Then, you realize that you truly are a unique, unrepeatable miracle of worth and value. When you live this way, you continually affirm your self-worth. So now, I will rate myself an 8 as I still hope to grow and be more loving and helpful.
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+5
3 – 4 years ago, things were different for me. Those were the days when I was going through the most toughest phase of my life and hardly loved myself to the scale of 4 due to the circumstances I was in.
But now I will scale 10 for myself.
I love myself to the fullest because I devote quality time to myself. I’m a generous and helping person and a man of words. I believe in myself 100% because I’m trustworthy. I know what is my importance in this world. I speak by heart. I always learn from my mistakes and never repeat the same again. I’m not at all egoistic. I’m energetic.
I studied myself in depth. There is no reason why I should not love myself this much.
Now I’m living the life which I always desired and already told myself that I will not accept myself as the Second Best and always keep myself on the best position.
I learnt that my relationship with myself is the most important relationship I will ever have in my life. Thats why my love for myself is very very strong.
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+17
Super like !!!
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Wow! Looks like you have a good relationship with yourself. I like that!
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Thanks Darshana & Shiroh for the appreciation !
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Hi Kamal, it’s great that you are living your best life. I like your attitude and not accepting second best!
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A simple reality check on my care for ” Mind, health and my higher self.
gives me a score of 4.
To be at 7 i have to feel the following
- Mind , positive and use it for creating value for others.
- Health , fit and strong.
Higher self- Live life lead by higher self rather then not able to control my destiny.
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On a scale of 1-10 I would say I’m a 5. I don’t love myself enough and I know that’s a problem. I don’t love myself because I’m not as young as I used to be and life isn’t as full of possibilites as it used to be. I feel like I am not good at anything. I had to take a leave of absence from work because I felt I couldn’t work for my boss anymore. She was too demanding and treated me like a robot instead of a human being. But I still feel like a failure. I majored in English in school and I haven’t been able to find a job in publishing, in the 8 years since I’ve been working. I started a bartending course last week but haven’t gone through with the final tests because it felt too difficult and I didn’t feel capable and didn’t believe in myself to be able to learn and memorize what I needed to. I don’t love the fact that I can’t seem to find a stable, steady career field that I actually like, so I go to work and try to change jobs and departments but always end up miserable. I’m frustrated that I wasn’t smart enough to go into a better field like accounting or marketing or teaching. I don’t love myself because I am not outgoing or fun to be with and have no friends, just my boyfriend.
I don’t love myself because I should’ve been way more successful than I am at 32, and because I developed an anxiety disorder associated with the winter and with going through the motions every day and pretending to care about my boss when I no longer respect her. I don’t love myself because I should’ve been smarter about setting up my life so I wouldn’t be so unhappy now. I feel lost and scared and don’t know what step to take next. I don’t want to quit my job since I can’t find another one that’s better and I don’t want to move back home with my parents. I could really use some advice and encouragement. My boyfriend wants me to study and finish and pass my bartending class but I can’t see myself working in that sort of position either. I don’t know what to do
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Dear Karen….3 – 4 years ago the same was happening with me too…things were not going as per I planned…..but then I learnt that these are not the reasons why I should not love myself to the fullest…..ups and downs are part of life…..You should imagine yourself on top and start loving yourself more and more and I’m sure you will be much more happy in the future.
Wish you the best.
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Karen,
I can relate to your feeling of being lost and issues with self-worth. Ironically, severe health issues caused me to HAVE to quit my job after being on leave for 6 months and still not being able to go back and I was so frustrated with myself for not being well enough. Not being strong enough. For letting everyone where I worked down by not being there. I also ended up moving back home with my parents where I still am and have been for almost 2 years now. I will be 32 this month and believe me I used to think all the time “this is not where I am supposed to be by this age” or “I was supposed to have done more by now”….
It was not a choice I would have made but too sick to work or keep an apartment it was the choice that had to be made. In the long run it has been both good and bad for my parents and myself.
And in the job department I had felt lost and unsure of my direction for years before I got sick and even started working out of my field because I was stressed and unhappy at my high pressure jobs. I went to school for Culinary Arts and my last jobs before getting sick were bartending and working at Lowe’s.
Now that I have been home and just this year gone on Disability, I have started doing crafting to make some money for my food and towards “rent” to my parents and to buy things without guilt of it being someone else’s money. I have a shop on etsy.com and FB page and people actually ordered my crocheted hats and things from all over!! I never would have guessed this path would be ahead of me and I’m still uncertain it could really support me but my point in sharing this is you never know what lays ahead for you!! It may be something totally unexpected and out of the life plan you may have had for yourself.
Don’t be discouraged by the steps you take now to get by. If you need to bartend for awhile to get yourself together and find a true calling or great job that’s waiting for you, that is not a reason to look down on yourself and your achievements! You have a purpose and you will find that something that makes you happy and allows you to support yourself. I’m sorry this got so long but my main point is do NOT give up on yourself. And I hope by sharing this you know you are not alone
Raven
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Thank you Raven, and Kamel for your comforting words, I will try to keep them in mind.
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Karen, all of the things that are not going right with your life are just that-things. They are your circumstances, but they are not you. Even if in making the wrong choices, you brought about those circumstances, they do not make you any less worthy a person than you would’ve been had you made all of the ‘right’ choices the first go-round. You are still a worthy person with intelligence and potential, you’re just missing the self esteem part.
Don’t beat yourself up for going to school for what you loved. You wanted something you’d enjoy for the long haul, it just hasn’t worked out yet. You have no idea what’s going on in most homes right now. My husband’s in marketing. Commissions have been cut and they’re getting fired left and right. I have a bachelor’s and got an alternative teaching certification, but haven’t gotten a teaching position. Teachers are getting laid off across the country due to education budget cuts. Most people go through several careers in their lifetime, but because you’re not talking to people, you’re left in the dark thinking you’re the only one. I’m 36 and I too chose an unconventional major, so I am starting from scratch as well. So if you’re realizing that it may be time for career plan B–(or C)…welcome to the majority!
If you want out of your job, you can apply for jobs, but if you want out of your career, go back to school. Bartending might be a good idea in that it’s a job you could do in the day or in the night and take classes around it. In the meantime, you could also write in your free time and perhaps work towards becoming a freelance writer. With all the layoffs going on, many people have actually been forced into starting a business and working for themselves.
Whatever you decide to try, work at adopting the attitude that no matter what, you are worthy, and that you absolutely refuse to treat yourself as if there’s an “L” on your forehead.
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Allow yourself to change. If not you may find yourself in your 40′s 50′s 60′s and 70′s finding that things have not improved and the thoughts you laid down at 32 have mushroomed. Many years ago a person who was in bad shape dreams had not come true and older said to someone I was out with who was complaining. “I am what you will become.” It shocked them and me too. I have never forgotton it. Please find a way to appreciate the fact that you are alive, able to make decisions, are in the period of law of attraction. Find away. Because the world is waiting for you and your many golden gifts.
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Thanks to all, I appreciate your thoughts
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Wow. That’s powerful. Thanks for sharing that.
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Self-love doesn’t have observable criteria like, say, Olympic gymnastics. I don’t know where I stand. My guess is that I’m somewhere in the middle. I could probably improve here. Better appreciating oneself through conscious effort would seem easy enough, and probably a step in the right direction, but I’m not sure if there’s a direct way to just love yourself more.
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If I were to say how much I love myself on a scale of 1-10, right now, in this moment, I’d say about 8.
Some days, I can feel almost perfect 10. I remember times in the past where I would say 5 or less, but in recent years I have accepted myself enough to rarely go below about 6.5-7.
I feel less than optimal on that account today because I made a few bad decisions today, but nothing irreparable or really against my core values so I’ll probably recover, but at the moment I’m still in a funk over it.
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Hard to use my self imposed 100 words for this topic, so I took advantage of the space to compliment Celes with her answer on yesterday question “Most important thing I have learned in my life is that I have learned nothing”.
So true!
It also help me to answer today question: How much do I love myself? 10.
But how much I express this properly? Or the way I would like to?
To quote Celes I should say 0.
Ops 0 not an option, so 1.
Maybe more, but far from 10.
Same apply if the question would be “to love somebody” (Bee Gees)
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On a scale of 1-10, how much do I love myself?
When I first read this question, it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Why would that be I thought to myself? Upon thinking about why it made me feel that way, I came to realise that love is not something I would ever measure on a scale of 1-10. Doing so would feel very superficial. No matter how much you love yourself, you can’t treat that love in the same way as a gymastic performance at the Olympics.
To me, love for ourselves and others should be infinite. Of course we all have problems in our lives, but such problems should never get in the way of that infinite love. Those who consider themselves to be bad people based things they have done throughout their lives should not love themselves any less either. Without that infinite love, I don’t believe it would be possible for many of us to reach those higher levels of conciousness. By scoring the amount of love we have for ourselves on a scale of 1-10, I truly believe we would only be holding ourselves back. Placing a strong message in our minds that we are flawed and need to be fixed. Which in essence would only distract us from reaching our full potential.
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I understand what you mean, Glenn. It took me more than 30 minutes to think and compose my answer for today’s question. I found it a little bit difficult to answer too.
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Good point.
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Hey Glenn! I think you have made a great point. Just to clarify though, the objective of quantifying the feeling from 1-10 is purely to convey what is normally an abstract feeling to something more objective and relatable to others, for easier discussion. It also makes for a easy internal reference on where to head for next. By no means is it to belittle the emotion.
Based on what you shared, perhaps a more relevant scale would be to measure it on a scale of 1 to infinity then. I like the idea of infinity love.
Hope that helps clarify to anyone who may be thinking the same way!
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Hi Celes and Glenn, I totally agree with your “infinity love” concept. That is great one. Thanks!!!
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Hi Celes, yes true. I can understand the scale being similar to the Life Wheel, but when it’s an emotion as powerful as love, the concept threw me off a bit
And thanks for the replies everyone. Any likes are from me thanking you for the reply, even if I don’t reply to the reply
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Lol, same from me to you Glenn!
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Beautifully written Glenn, I completely agree. Whether we deserve it or not, we should hold everyone with infinite love, including ourselves.
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This is a serious analysis to be frank i will give myself 6 for i still have a lot of areas to cover for anybody to have chosen 8 and above is a bloody liar Jesus even said there is no perfect man
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Because someone loves themselves above an ’8′ does NOT make them a liar…there is to be no judgement of how others think or feel here.
Loving oneself to a ’10′ also does not mean someone feels they are perfect, it only means they are satisfied, happy and content in their life and are fortunate enough to realize it.
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Hey Yinkaadepeju, thanks a lot for sharing your answer. As I’ve shared to rakesh in my reply to his Day 5 comment though, let’s not judge or critique on others’ answers, but focus on sharing our answers in the space provided in 21DJC. There’s no need to accuse people of being a ‘bloody liar’ or to impose our beliefs on others, be it from our religion or our life philosophy, because to each his/her own and everyone has his/her own beliefs that he/she abides by. The most important thing is you align yourself with what YOU believe in and grow in the way you believe to be true to your highest self. Hope that helps!
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Wow! This is a difficult one for me. I’d love to say 10…or even 9…or 8. But I would say 7. Some days when I feel lost and lonely and down on myself – I’ll drop down to a 4 or 5, but on the average day I strive for a 7 or better. I’m not really too sure what would make it a 10…I don’t even know what loving myself to a 10 looks like. But I have faith that as time goes on and I experience life – my vision will be clearer.
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+1
For me, it really depends on the day! If I have done something useful that day or managed to connect really well with people, I’m usually very positive towards myself.
But then there are times I feel my situation is not allowing me to be what I could be (financial issues, meeting the wrong people, etc). I do know it is not my fault and some things take time to change for the better, but it’s surely frustrating and sometimes causes doubts: “If I’m not doing well, I must be doing something wrong and I can’t seem to be capable of better.”
But I try to assure myself that any such happenings are simply bad luck and I should not judge myself by how lucky I am
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On a scale of 1 to 10…how much do I love myself?
EIGHT. And I will list 8 reasons why.
1. I love the person I’ve grown to be. I’m only 20 so I’m well on my way into life but there is still a lot I expect to learn.
2. I’m a great listener and I absolutely love that about myself, because it allows me to help others.
3. In my personal opinion, and others’, I give good advice. Many of my friends come to me for advice about the situations they’re in, and thank me greatly for the advice I’ve given. It doesn’t matter to me if they take my advice, but I think it’s a good thing to get someone else’s opinion on something that’s going on in your life because it can help you get through it a lot easier. I like being that person for my friends and family.
4. I am dependable. My friends and family can depend on me no matter what! I’m always there to help no matter with what! I love being that person someone can lean on.
5. I love myself for having life goals that I will stick to no matter what gets thrown my way. I will travel the world in my lifetime and be happy.
6. I love my athleticism. I’ve always been very athletic, since a very young age, and I’m really happy I’ve kept that up throughout my years. Although I’m not playing competitive sports anymore, I’m going to the gym and pushing my limits. I love that about myself!
7. My confidence is something I love about myself! Just in the past 2 years I’ve really learned to appreciate who I was, and that I don’t have to change for anyone! I am who I am. I don’t have to look like a model or act like one! I love being who I am. I love being able to express who I without having to be ashamed. I am a weird girl and I love that! It makes me who I am!
8. I love my humour. I’ve always thought that humour is an important part of life, everyone needs to laugh, right? Well I believe that is an essential part of life. And I love that I’m able to laugh at myself and laugh at the humour of others. I’m a very sarcastic girl and I love that I can laugh at the sarcasm of others even when the joke is about myself. And in turn, I love people that are able to laugh at themselves as well! I love myself enough to be able to laugh at myself, and not take them personally! I think that’s very important!
In order to love myself at a level of a ten, I would be more easy-going. When something is bothering me, it really bothers me and I wish that wasn’t the case. I’m trying to learn that I don’t have to let things or people get to me. I think this is a major thing in my life that I have to change in order to get myself to my full potential.
No matter what though…I love me, myself, and I.
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+6
After reading your post, I’m thinking of not posting my entry because things are very similar for me too. i like your reply.
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0
On a scale of 1-10, I would say I still stand on the scale of 7 when it comes to loving myself. I realize I have not loved myself to the fullest because I still underestimate my life, at times.
There are times when I am not grateful enough with myself (and my life) because I always think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Although these days, I am trying hard to inject myself with more happiness by learning to find pleasures in simple things in life; but there are times that I make myself miserable too, simply because I want to please everybody, which I obviously can’t.
Lastly, I think I have not fully loved myself yet because I still find it hard not to bother some people’s non-constructive criticisms towards me. There are times when I get too carried away with people’s non-constructive criticisms on me and for few moments, these make me feel that myself is less worthy. Non-constructive criticisms require a lot of efforts to be completely ignored as they are actually nothing but poisons and cruelty to my soul. Hence, in the attempt to love myself more I should seriously try not to take non-constructive criticisms to heart as they do nothing good to me.
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Negative people can cause nothing but negative feelings….you are so right not to take them personally.
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Hi Christine, it might be an idea to separate these things from the self love. It can sometimes be difficult to please those around us and be the best we can be, but I don’t see these things as being a reason to love ourselves any less
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I find that this is the question for a more abstract answer than a strict figure, however, I guess I’d rate myself as a 6.
I find that the way I feel about myself and my life sit on a seesaw.
I sit myself on a very high pedestal, and put myself under alot of pressure to achieve in all aspects of my life, which at times probably makes me seem like I’m a bit of a ‘snob’.
However, I am very hard on myself and tend to talk myself down if I fall even the slightest bit short of the standards that I have set myself or if I make a mistake.
Beyond all that, I believe that I have the capacity to be a very caring compassionate person, and tend to worry about the people around me, especially if they are hurt or unwell.
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