21DJC Day 7 – What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
This is Day 7 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 7 of 21DJC! 
Yesterday’s question was: “What Frustrates You?“.
Thank *you* for your earnest responses. While it’s good to be positive, and to focus on the positive stuff, the thing is frustration is one in the spectrum of emotions we experience as humans. Everyone feels frustrated in some way or another – it’s just a matter of (a) whether you’re aware of it (b) whether you want to admit it or not.
Some people may think: “Oh well, I’m never frustrated”, or “I’ve overcome frustration because I choose not to focus on negative things, only positive stuff”. Fair enough, but my question, and my challenge to you would be: Is it true that you’re never frustrated, or are you just not conscious of it? And for those people who still insist you’re never frustrated, are you perhaps denying your emotions, and deluding yourself?
While the *feeling* of frustration is not a positive experience, it’s not a negative phenomenon per se. All emotions, as with all situations in life, are neutral occurrences. To give it any meaning beyond what it is, would be to turn it into something that it’s not.
Like all of you, I have my fair share of times when I feel frustrated. Just yesterday, I was quite frustrated with the moderator of a conference I was speaking at, because for some reason, the outline that was agreed upon before the panel was not adhered to. I was frustrated because I had prepared a fair bit for the conference, and I felt half of the work had gone to waste, never to be absorbed by others. I was frustrated because it didn’t allow me to showcase my best value to the audience, who were there to learn about the topic.
I would also be frustrated whenever people got in my way of growing, or helping others to grow. Because this is my life purpose, it felt like everything was at stake when I wasn’t allowed to pursue it. I would feel scrunched up on the inside, like my existence has been compromised.
Other things that would frustrate me include people who impose their values on others, people who give their opinions and advice when not asked for, irresponsible people, people who make empty promises, when I sabotage my own weight loss efforts, naysayers, people who try to attack my beliefs, among others.
I don’t think we should concern ourselves with eliminating frustration as an emotion. Neither should we let the feeling of frustration perpetuate too. Frustration happens as a result of things not going our way, so it’s a useful tool in self-discovery and growth.
I think whenever we feel frustrated, we should strive to understand the source of our frustrations, learn from the situation, and apply what we learned, so the same situation will not recur in the future. This is what it means to learn and grow.
With that said, let’s now move to today’s question!
21DJC Day 7
Today is Day 7, which marks the end of the 1st week out of the 3 weeks of our 21-Day Journaling Challenge. Having shared the things that frustrate us yesterday, today, I’d like you to reflect on:
What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
If you are to pinpoint just 1 thing you’ve learned, the 1 most important thing you’ve learned in your life so far, what would it be?
Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.
(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)
What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
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Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
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We are the Architects of our own life. What we want in life is up to us. Not is impossible in life.
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Most things are gray not simply black or white. When I was young, everything was either right or wrong, good or bad, clear or unclear. Having lived for 62 years, I just can’t see things in the simplistic way I did. There are many times when mitigating circumstances intervene to complicate choices. What may be totally wrong in many circumstances, may really be the only option in others. For example, civil disobedience. I was taught to respect authority and do what I was told by authority. The recent events at Penn State are examples of how simply doing the right thing, i.e. telling your superior, was not enough. So, I have learned that many choices require much more than knowing right or wrong. A right choice today may be totally wrong at another time.
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The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far:
Be Happy and Feel Good.
and how to achieve it? I do the following steps:
- try to be gratitude upon whatever events happen
- if I can’t, I ask these question: what is the best thing from the event, what is the valuable lesson (often .. ok.. it IS the heart-breaking lesson) to be learned, what can I do to be better next time [this question is credited to one of my mentor]
- I admit negatives feelings, admit frustration, etc, then reflect, ok the feeling’s there but what good will it do for me to achieve my goal.
- if the negative feelings still exist, I still feel uncomfortable, etc, I just… let it be, give it some time and focus on being happy and feeling good.
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Fear not acknowledged and faced is a great deterrent to living a fully productive life. This, and a depressed vision of our own capabilities and personal freedoms. Allowing our concern for how others view us can be like wearing shoes lined with lead.
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Love it! Well said.
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Only one?
Follow my heart…
Go with the flow and chase my dreams…
The heart is always sincere and holds the deepest truth even though I may not see it. It lets you be the authentic single unique individual you are, and it can bring you lots of joy and happiness, if you let it.
If you set your heart to achieve something, you will achieve it.
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If you are to pinpoint just 1 thing you’ve learned, the 1 most important thing you’ve learned in your life so far, what would it be?
The fact that most people are not what I thought them to be.
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You are responsible for your own actions.
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The only thing we truly control in our lives is our reaction to any given situation. So many times when we control our reaction we find that we control the situation.
I like your simple words.
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The most important thing I have learned in life so far, is that happiness comes from the inside. I didn’t always think this, like a lot of children are I was somewhat material and selfish. At some point when I was a teenager (though I’m not sure exactly when) I began to really feel the hollowness that kind of life brings. When I was 17, I learned through a series of disappointments that sometimes our worst losses really do turn into our greatest blessings. I also began to realize that there is no panel of “the World” that judges whether we are successful or not, in truth, we are rather anonymous. Realizing these two smaller lessons sort of converged into the big lesson of happiness. I learned how to constructively recollect events from my past and apply my goals to the future without worrying how it would measure up to anyone else. Now I am truly happy because I know what I want out of life and why. I try to always keep this lesson with me when I’m feeling frustrated (nod to yesterday’s question) or blue.
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The most important thing I’ve learned is not to let the worry that you think it might be too late to do the things you want hold you back.
Two examples:
1) I always intended to leave Memphis to go out to California, but due to a series of family and job issues, I stayed. By the time I was in my late 30s, I figured it was too late to move, but the opportunity came up and I’m doing fine.
2) I started practicing yoga at age 40 and saw all these other people doing all these acrobatic poses. I figured that you had to have started in your teens or 20s to do these poses, and that starting as late in my life as I did, I would never do them. But as time went by, I approached them incrementally and much to my surprise, I occasionally pop into a new one! I’m not the most elegant one in the class, but I’m doing things I never thought I’d do.
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Hi Edwilk,
There are couple of things that I had missed in the past and I wanted to try them now, but recently I was having some second thoughts that it might be too late, but your examples inspired me to put a stop on my second thoughts.
Thanks for sharing! Have a nice day!
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I think the most important thing I’ve learned so far in life is to not take everything for granted. Life passes by quick and I’m sure everyone’s heard of the phrase “You won’t know it’s gone until it’s gone”. Each and everyday would pass by in a blink of an eye. We grow older and older, but the question I’ve always ponder and ask myself is: Did you live the day today to your fullest?
Sometimes I say yes, sometimes, I feel like I wasted the whole entire day with useless things (like today).
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May,
This is the lesson I chose as the most important as well, but don’t forget, you didn’t waste the entire day. You posted this valuable truth so that others could learn from you!
Continue to treasure your life and your moments and never forget that you can find something of worth in any day…no matter how unproductive you were or how much you didn’t get done. There is always something there to be grateful for. Always
Raven
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This is so hard. For me personally (just being selfish), I think it’s that I know I can forgive myself when I fail. I fail a lot, so I don’t beat myself up over it too much. Maybe I should, but I try to learn and grow from it instead of being fixated on how bad I have been. I’m an optimist, not a perfectionist.
But, I think the absolutely most important thing I AM learning is how to love. I’ve come a long way from high school, now I can see past people’s walls and reach out to them. To stress why acknowledging this is important to me is to go to the Bible. Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God, the second to love others. Again, in 1 Corinthians 13:13, it is written, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Love and the ability to forgive are intertwined. I pray that more people can recognize this and turn to love-leading to more understandings and less hatred.
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The most important thing I’ve learned in life so far is that everything changes, so be prepared for change. The external environment (economy, weather, etc) can change in an instant. I’ve learned to be prepared with a positive attitude and an can-do demeanour to make best of whatever the situation may be. Some years will be great, others will be a struggle, but all we can do is try to be prepared and do our best.
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My life motto for years has been “Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight”.
Persevere. Never quit on yourself or your dreams. Always try again until you succeed.
This is important in life.
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Christine,
This is a great lesson as well!! I couldn’t agree more. And I love that I get 7 whole times too…no “three strikes you’re out”. It is true that no matter how many times you are knocked down you always have the choice to stand back up. To have the last word. I like that idea.
Thank you for sharing that thought and motto,
Raven
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Thanks, Raven!
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Totally love this response. We only fail if we refuse to get back up when we are knocked down.
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Thanks, Jeff!
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“Fall seven times, stand up eight” is my life motto too
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Well said Christine….Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight.
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What is the Most Important Thing You’ve Learned in Life So Far?
The most important thing in life I have learned so far is that you can only depend on yourself, and no one else. People say they will be there for you, but they always leave or it is a lie. Once they get what they want from you they don’t need you anymore.
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Sounds like you’ve been through a hard time
Although I think that is partially true, don’t ever forget your family members! They’ll always be there for you. When you need others and they are not there for you, you learn who your true friends are. That alone is an experience to learn from. I hope you meet (or have already met) someone you can depend on.
Best wishes,
May
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I can totally relate to that.
I have had my share of experiences with such people too, and there was a hurtful phase in my life after which I started following the saying, “never be totally dependent on anyone because even your own shadow leaves you when you’re in the dark.” Then, I met many wonderful people and I do depend on some of them, time to time. But I never totally depend on anybody except myself.
I hope you meet/have some people that you could depend on sometimes for a change.
Good luck & have a nice day
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I agree with all the moments but I think if you are focusing on the people like this you are attracting them so therefore they will appear in your life. I had people just as painful, disrespectful and users who did a lot of damage to me on the inside and the outside. Over time I had to let go and never let those naysayers/hurtful people into my life. I know what to look for and I can prevent it from happening. So, I believe it maybe helpful we found like minded individuals who will help you grow and overcome this by just being with them and helping you feel loved, special and welcome!
@ SHERILYN – Your lesson in life is a great one to learn but also a painful experience and I want to congratulate you on stepping out and kicking the nastiness out!
All the Best love and support,
Ezza xxx
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Opps meant ‘comments’ lol HAHA
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Follow your heart. Do the things you dream of. Be, become the person you most admire and respect. Acknowledge your fears and all the reasons why you cant or shouldn’t and do it anyway. The only regrets you will have in later life will be the things you wanted to do but didn’t.
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