21DJC Day 20 – What Limiting Beliefs Are You Holding On To?
This is Day 20 of the 21-Day Journaling Challenge (21DJC) for Nov 2011. View list of tasks: 21DJC Overview.
Hi everyone – Welcome to Day 20 of 21DJC! :) We now have 1 day left till the end of the challenge!
Yesterday’s question was: “What Words Best Describe You?“. (Read the responses.)
Here are some beautiful answers from our participants:
““Honest” and “Jolly” are the two words which describe me the best. Being Honest to myself and to the world gives me a satisfaction from deep inside. :) It really feels great to be Honest. :) As my nature is very jolly, I get mix with everyone….most of them always tells me that “you are a jolly and lovable person”. Obviously being lovable makes me proud of myself.
” – Kamal
“This one is easy- my word would be Sunshine Kid, because that is my nickname! There are other words, too like charming, optimistic, smiling, smart-worker! But nothing comes close like my nickname.” – Anu
“Forgiving and unconditional acceptance. I always try to see the soul people rather than what they look like. I tend to read the heart. Creative and eccentric. I want to be memorable, if only to myself.” - Mary Jane Hoover
“Creative. Positive. Imaginative. Caring. Optimistic. Individualistic. Compassionate. Sincere. Thankful. Artistic. Mindful. Honest. Understanding. Loyal. Smart. Original. Thoughtful. Alive. Clean. Respectful. Visual. Geeky. Appreciative. Empowered. Musical. Loving. Pesty. Inspired. Tall. Caucasian. Male. Inquisitive.” – Glenn
“If I could pick a few words that I think describe me, I would choose:Patient, Honest, Optimistic, Creative, and Loving.” – Kimberly
“Godly, Christian, cerebral, analytical, spiritual, curious, philosophical, responsible, loving, organized (wasn’t always ), deep-thinking, caring, adventurous, trusting (too trusting), tired, happy, positive, strict, kind/generous, forgetful, anxious, semi-jaded, reliable, humorous, exacting, not into following rules and norms.” – J
“Observant, intuitive, adventuresome, playful, dreamer, lover, mostly happy, always seeking to experience more of everything.” – Charles
“Integrity, discipline, loving, honest, optimistic, adventurous, trusting, reliable, organized, self-expressive” – Aparna
“Positive. Appreciative. Compassionate. Considerate. Helpful. Caring. Philosophical. Spiritual. Dreamer. Dependable. Responsible. Have a sense of humor. Quiet. Shy. Friendly. Adventurous. Makes hasty decision sometimes. Cannot stand people who will not put in an extra effort in whatever they’re doing. Neatness freak.” – Asni
“”Restless until its done” are the words that describes me. I am one person that will never go to sleep before i get whatever i have to do, completed. I am like a child that will never stop nagging their parents until they get that new bike they just seen in the window shop.” - A. Sendijja
“I am self critical but becoming kinder to self, shy but friendly, neurotic but great fun, introspective but friendly. [...] I am a work in progress and I’m happy with that.” - Lottie
Words which I feel best describe me are… Passionate. Driven. Genuine. Heart-centered (in terms of following my heart/intuition and being love-based). At peace; Living in the now.
With that said, let’s now move to our 2nd last question for 21DJC!
21DJC Day 20
Today’s question is a precursor to one of the important tasks we are going to work on in the upcoming Live a Better Life in 30 Days Challenge. During next month’s 30DLBL, we will be unearthing the limiting beliefs blocking us in our goals, dissecting them one by one, and working to reverse them into empowering ones.
But for now:
What Limiting Beliefs Are You Holding On To?
Every one of us has limiting beliefs that hold us back from reaching that next level in life. What are yours?
(Today’s question can be found in #65 of 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life.)
Put on your reflection cap and let your thoughts flow. Below is an empty form which you can use to write your answers to the question. Treat it as your private 21DJC journaling “room”, if you will. You will be seeing this form every day, for the 21 days of the challenge. There’s a button for you to keep track of your word count too, if you’re interested.
(Note you will not see the form below if you’re viewing this in your email client. Visit the actual post online to see the form.)
What Limiting Beliefs are You Holding On To?
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Your Task Today:
- Reflect and answer today’s question. There’s no word limit – whether minimum or maximum. Write as few or as many words as you want. It’s all up to what you want to express!
- Share your answer. After you are done writing, copy and paste your answer in the comments area and post it there.
- Check out other participants’ answers. Other participants will be sharing their answers too, so feel free to read and reply to their answers. This is a group course, so let’s support each other in these 21 days.
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I guess something that may hold me back sometimes is the belief that I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, stong enough, clever enough or whatever attribute it takes so go to the next step. Sometimes I push and just go for it, but sometimes it holds me back.
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Hmmm…I’d be lying if I said that I don’t have them, but I am not sure how well I can pinpoint them, and that’s one reason why they are so limiting and persistent.
My limiting beliefs are mostly in the area of ‘I am not good enough’. And I’ve been fighting them and defeated some of them in the past few years, but some are still here.
I am not going to look for excuses, but I really think that is something that my mother installed in me. I remember that ‘not good enough’ feeling was there when I was a kid, I was feeling awkward and older and more serious than other kids. I love my mum, but she can really be hurtful – when she criticizes someone, it’s not constructive criticism, she attacks a person and can be quite harsh. But I can see she herself is reserved in communication with other people and is sometimes rude with no reasons, and lately I’ve been realizing that that kind of behavior usually means that the person who acts that way is doing it from his/hers personal insecurities. My father is also not confident enough in life, and that really….makes me feel weird sometimes, he should be my hard rock, my anchor in the world and seeing him weaker than me in some areas really just doesn’t feel right. I don’t have to explain that my mother ‘wears the pants’ in the family, she even bosses around her mom. Being the child, when there were fights in the house, I always unconsciously believed that it’s all my fault – parents are perfect. Yesterday when we were fighting about some pretty much meaningless stuff (she starts it always) and for the first time I thought ˝There is something wrong in this house, and it is not me˝. I know I am not perfect, but I am starting to realize that neither is she.
Another thing was that as an only child, and by far youngest in my family (parents had me in mid thirties) I was unused to interaction with other kids, so when I started pre-school and later school I was too naive, too open and didn’t learn how to fight for myself. And we know kids aren’t little angels.
That I think are root causes.
And that’s enough brainstorm for today
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Ooh, this one is good, it makes me really think! I think the belief that is holding me back the most in life, oddly enough, is the fear of money and financial success. I’m from a working-class background, and among my grandparents, uncles, etc, the consensus was that “rich” people have no values and are corrupt.
Now I consider myself to be very rich, because I have so many things around me that I love, and though I live modestly, I still have more accumulated material possessions than I can accurately keep track of. However, although I’m satisfied, I’m usually rather cash strapped when it comes to paying bills, and don’t usually have anything left over for savings.
I think I inherited to some degree the money = corrupt mentality, and the fear that I would lose my appreciation of the little things in life if I have more money than is absolutely necessary. This has limited me a lot, because as far as career planning goes, I’m scared to pick paths that include big paychecks.
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What if I fail? What if I didn’t do enough? What if I didn’t do a good job?
The what if questions usually holds me back.
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I don’t deserve this.
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I have been working a lot on my quietness or lack of being able to speak my mind lately. A lot of the time, what goes through my mind is, “My opinion doesn’t matter”, or “I don’t want to be a burden by asking for this”. It is definitely something that I need to work on and have been working on. In fact, I just earned a promotion at my work and will be starting it at the end of December because I finally spoke up. I also learned that if I had of said something much earlier, I would have had the job a lot sooner. Lesson learned.
I suffer a lot from the “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve that” stuff as well, especially when it comes to my art. It has taken a long time for me to start advertising it, and even now I find myself thinking a lot that “nobody will want to buy this”, or “I’m not talented enough to pull this painting off”. It makes it really tough, especially in the middle stages when the painting still has a ways to go before it is finished.
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What limiting beliefs am I holding onto?
To be honest, I don’t think I have any. At least I can’t think of any? Having watched a video recently about a guy who is 100 and running marathons, limiting beliefs such as being ‘too old’ or ‘not fit enough’ immediately go out the window.
Yeah, seriously, I really can’t think of anything. For every possible limiting belief I can think of, I can always think of a reason why or a way around it. For example if I were to believe that particular friends don’t like me anymore because they no longer call or message me. For many that could be a limiting belief, but it’s not. Once you discover why, it makes perfect sense. In my case it wouldn’t be that they don’t like me anymore, but more so that I don’t make an effort to call them, and also the fact that we’re each busy doing our own thing, or spending more time with people who do contact us on a regular basis.
If I were to say “I’m not smart enough to be a professor of anything”. Although that might sound like limiting belief, it’s not one either. I believe I am smart enough, but it would just require years of work to reach that title of Professor.
In conclusion, limiting beliefs aren’t something I hold onto. I toss them away immediately and let someone else pick them up
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that is very well stated and something i always find myself doing well done
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Well said Glenn, and well done
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Thanks Ish, but I realise now I made a big mistake on the last line about letting other people pick them up. I take that back.
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Two major limiting beliefs come to mind:-
1. That I am not good enough – I am trying my best to get rid of this thought from my head — by reading up more, writing, reading other personal development blogs, etc. I am considering taking up an online course next year. Part of taking part in this challenge is also to see how I can improve myself, to be inspired and get ideas from other participants. Thank you Celes for organizing this awesome event! This has been a challenge for myself, with myself. I am trying to get out of myself more, shedding off my shyness and be more brave by commenting and interacting with others. It is all part of my effort to erase this limiting belief from this file in my head.
2. I wear the hijab — that is I cover my head — but you can still see my face and hands. I am afraid that people will judge me when they see me or anyone dressed like me. Thanks to all the bad publicity on my religion since 9/11, we all look bad in the eyes of the world. But underneath this covering, I am still a sensitive woman, with aspirations and dreams, just like any modern women who are dressed in the latest fashion. Perhaps some day, the world will accept women dressed like me for what we are and what we can give back, and not let the way we dress get in the way of their thinking. Perhaps, it’s just in my head, I may be wrong?
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Asni, I think you should wear the hijab proudly and always remind yourself that those you currently think may judge you are the ones with limiting beliefs and fears, not you.
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Thank you, Glenn, I’ll remember this.
You make me cry, with happiness.
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Thanks Asni, and nice to see the real you, too
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Anyone who judges you because of the clothing you chose to wear is loosing a chance to meet a great person, it is there loss and your gain.
This may sound really weird coming from an American woman but your religion did not cause the damage from 9/11, a few radical nut jobs did. It is sad that you are judged because of your clothes.
Just as not all Catholic men/priests are child molesters, but due to the media some may look at a priest and wonder. Just as all Baptists are not like the nut jobs that protest at funerals, but the media plays up the psychos…..
I would say wear your hijab with pride, it is no different than the clothes any woman wears and they are quite beautiful, from the ones I have seen.
Never change your opinion of you because of someone else’s opinion of you.
HUGGS from Mid-Missouri
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Thank you, Karman.
Your kind words touched me.
Hugging you back, from Singapore.
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Something that may hold me back is the belief that I may not be able to do something well like others do. This means my lacking of self-confidence and fear of taking risks. There are times when I am afraid to fail and worry too much in doing something (big).
However, if I just give something a try really hard and pray enough, at the end of the day, usually I end up just fine.
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1. Outcome trumps process: I was an early bloomer academically. This impressed adults, but as a kid, I took their reactions to mean that life meant delivering an impressive result quickly, like a magician. Working hard and focusing on process were necessary for kids who didn’t understand things the first time. Besides being uncool, this belief simply runs aground, so I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. I guess I’m not really holding onto it, as I know intellectually what’s what, and mostly emotionally, too. Once in a blue moon, I’ll catch myself thinking “I have to impress” — which puts the power of acceptance in someone else’s court. I remind myself that I’ve got a great, secure, process, which I started building six years ago and continue to hone today.
2. I’m not educated/intelligent enough: Eventually, I started getting poor grades. It was less No. 1 (although that didn’t help) and more that my family situation was difficult. Still, I take responsibility for my life. I was lucky to get a test-based scholarship to a decent school, but gravitated toward a field where a pristine pedigree matters. By some miracle I made it happen (sometimes, outcome is good), but nagging self-doubt became one of my battle scars. To be fair, this was truer 10 years ago; I’m actually pretty relaxed now, but sometimes I’ve wondered what I could have accomplished with a healthy foster family, which is not a healthy thought in the first place, and undersells the positive elements of the upbringing God gave me.
3. The past matters: Life is now, with a nod to the future. The past is a guide, not an anchor. I can’t think of anything good that came my way when I was dwelling on the past. Experiences make us, but we can make our experiences. Sometimes, I’ll feel terrible when I think about what I could have become had everything “gone right”. It’s as exciting as it is limiting, because it reminds me that I can do more — i.e. things can “go right” starting right now. But I’ll also realize that my mind is in such a low state. True as that may be sometimes, the way to prompt positive action isn’t through regret but by building positive habits that return us to the right trajectories, by tasting the fruits of higher consciousness as we’re able, by interacting with good people and by holding good visions.
4. I don’t have enough time to do it perfectly: Easing back into the comfort of logistics, I’m a pretty busy guy, but I sometimes have this fear about having to overedit or overperfect things. I let perfection be the enemy of the good. It probably stems from some fear that whatever flows most purely from me is not good enough and must be modified (and often it must!), but for a counterpoint, *all* my best writing has been stuff I’ve written the fastest — no time to think, no time to self-edit, just pure streaming. And it works. So I shouldn’t doubt myself. But we’re all people, and I do.
Bad as these may be, this is what I get when I probe my soul. I’ve made massive progress that, to be fair to myself, I should note here. Each one of these is probably 20%, if not less, of what it was at its peak. I didn’t overcome these with “a-ha” moments — save for the initial realization, which was pretty “a-ha” — but by building enough strength in other areas of my life that I could embrace the belief, and then let it go… and then wonder why I was clinging so tightly to it in the first place
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Limiting belief that holding me up is I often doubt, whether I worth the achievement or not. Is it meant for me?
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Limiting beliefs hinder me so much:
I’m not good enough.
I can’t finish anything.
I am not worthy, too lazy, don’t deserve anything.
God’s gonna punish you.
All ring in my ears, but lately I have been working to have these beliefs shattered.
I now say that I am good enough.
I am worthy, motivated, and I deserve whatever I strive for.
God’s not going punish me.
I am displined.
I am successful.
I am a survivor, and I am thriving.
My health is improving.
these new beliefs are hard to take rot, but little by little I am on to a better live.
My first line in my gratitude journal is I am number 1 in my life.
May sound self centered, though it is not meant as such. I use it to be thankful for what I have, and where I am. (No longer homeless) and that I am loved by my children and lover.
When I take the half empty glass and think about it as half full, many new things come my way.
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Limiting beliefs……..
Whats in a notion that you cling on so much to, that every moment of abiding by that belief brings only hurt and disdain?………..But its difficult to push yourself away from something you believe so strongly in…..then definitely the guidance of our guardian angel in Celes would surely arbitrate us to jump ship to a divine world from this false one we are now living in
My limiting belief would definitely be that i am too self righteous…..If someone does something and i don’t believe in it then my nature propels me to retaliate……going out of my way to force something onto someone just because i believe so in it, doesn’t change the way of life for the other person but for sure it tumbles many of the new building blocks that I’ve resurrected in my life………
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i am not holding onto any limiting beliefs i am completely open to the universe and what it can teach me i beleive that there is nothing i can’t achieve if i truly want to acheive it
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I don’t think I have any limiting beliefs inside me because if I want to achieve something I’ll go out and achieve it. I don’t really care for other things (apart from my safety) if that means I can achieve what I want to achieve.
But if I were to really look at this question carefully, maybe ‘I am too young’ is the answer. Because I’m not really sure if people would believe someone that young on this puzzling word ‘success’. Nevertheless I’ll target the people who WILL believe me to my blog.
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