Top 10 Signs He/She is “The One” for You :)

by Celes on Mar 13, 2013 | Email This Post Email This Post
Soulmate
  1. When he/she loves you for who you are. NOT who he/she wants you to be.
  2. When he/she respects you as an individual. He/she lets you grow as yourself, into your own, and does not impose his/her expectations on you.
  3. When he/she inspires you to be more than who you are.
  4. When both of you bring out the best in each other. He/she inspires positive emotions in you, such as happiness, inspiration, contentment, and hopefulness, rather than negative emotions such as unhappiness, apprehension, doubt, fear, or anger.
  5. When you smile just by thinking of him/her. (And you can’t help but think about him/her too, sometimes. :) )
  6. When you can’t wait to see him/her again.
  7. When you will do whatever it takes just to be with him/her.
  8. When he/she will do whatever it takes just to be with you too. :)
  9. When he/she makes you feel good about yourself. He/she does not put you down whether directly or indirectly; neither does he/she induce self-doubt in you.
  10. When you can simply be yourself around him/her, without ever trying to be like someone else or behave in a certain way that’s not you at all. You are able to shine in your own light without having to dumb or dial yourself down, as he/she does too when both of you are around each other.

Does your current crush or significant other measure up against those ten signs above? This is definitely one list to cross-check your romantic partners with now or in the future, if you are ever unsure whether he/she is the one. :)

For the counter version of this list, check out Top 12 Signs It’s Time To Move On From A Relationship.

For those interested in finding love, the following articles are good places to start:

Any signs you want to add to the list above? Share in the comments. :)

Image: Heart

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Filed in: Dating & Romance, Relationships | Written by + on Mar 13, 2013
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  • riya

    Oh my god Celes, I am so sure he’s not the one. But I’m still dragging the relationship because I guess I am addicted to the pain… he’s my biggest support system; cant imagine my life without him. But he doesn’t care, shouts, and ignores me from last one year. I have no idea what to do. It’s driving me crazy!!

    You are an angel..

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Hey riya, as you said yourself, you are probably still in the relationship because you are addicted to the pain. If that’s the case, you really have to snap out of it. No one can decide for you whether to move on or not except for you.

      Once you feel that you are ready to let go of this toxic relationship, this post may help: http://personalexcellence.co/blog/10-steps-to-move-on-from-a-relationship/

  • Mel

    His faults make me smile – I miss the messy bathroom when he’s not around.

    Even when he upsets me I can’t get mad at him.

    Just two more comments to add to the list above. Took me forty years to find the right guy, but it is so special when you do.

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      So beautiful, Mel. I love what you have shared. Thank you for contributing to the list. :hug:

  • Rohan

    Frankly,

    In that case, I believe you are not taking personality traits into account.

    This seems to be like the definition of an ideal relationship with ideal people.

    People come in different packages – Shy, extrovert, short tempered, impatient etc.- their personality traits show up in their behavior and for sure will show up in a relationship.

    How would you account for that?

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Account for what?

      The point is not what personality traits they have. The point is how they make you feel, with or without those personality traits. If their particular traits make you unhappy *the entire time*, it doesn’t matter whether those traits are ‘good’ or ‘bad’. The person simply doesn’t make you happy. This is not the person you want to be in a relationship with, unless you enjoy being an unhappy person.

  • http://www.ablogtoremember-abi.blogspot.com Abinaya

    Totally love this post Celes!
    I’m glad my man fits the bill. :)

    #1 He is willing to give you the space you need.
    #2 He understands your silence as much as your words (silence is communicating too!).

    Great post!

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Aw, beautiful points Abinaya. I love your point #2 about understanding your silence. I’d say your point #1 about giving the space is tied to #2 in the list on respecting you as an individual.

      Congratulations that you are with someone who fits the bill, so to speak! :D

  • http://www.selfstairway.com Vincent Nguyen

    Hi, Celes! I don’t think I’ve ever had a relationship anywhere NEAR that. However, this is a great checklist for the future so I will keep it in mind. Thanks!

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      No problem, Vincent! ;) As long as you had a relationship that fit some of the items on the checklist, that means you are on your way there! It’s about progression, not about a binary “yes I’m with someone who meets all 10 points” or “no I’m not with someone who meets all 10 points”. Keep going! :)

  • Angela

    Great advice! New to this site and i really like what i see.
    I used this list to not only confirm that my guy is the one for me,
    But also to prove to myself that i dodged a bullet with my exes.
    Thank you! Keep the great articles coming and best of luck to you. :)

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Aw, that’s good to hear Angela! Best of luck to you too in your life! :D

  • Shruti K

    Hi Celes, I want to extend a big thank you to you for this wonderful blog. Thank you.

  • http://www.CoachingWithChristina.com Christina

    Beautiful, Celes!

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Thank you, Christina! Feel free to add any signs which are not on the list. :)

      • http://www.CoachingWithChristina.com Christina

        Hey Celes,

        I think you pretty much covered it ;) If I had to anything, it’s a feeling I look for–the feeling of being understood and understanding the other person too. Although that feeling doesn’t matter so much if there’s any disrespect (and unfortunately sometimes there is anyway)..So altogether–great list!

        ~Christina

  • http://hackmyheart.com Alexa

    I think this list is great, especially when you realize how important it is you feel all these things for the other person as well (you’re not loving them because you expect them to become someone else, for example)!

    That said, numbers 5 and 6 personally jar me a bit. In the past, I’ve had issues with working much too hard at “doing anything to be with them,” and I think it’s important to specify that trying hard to be with someone does NOT mean sacrificing every aspect of your life to do so. It doesn’t mean giving up on the rest of your friends, changing yourself in any way that you don’t want to, or altering your life for or just because of this person. If you have a strong sense of self, this isn’t really an issue, but it can take some practice to understand the difference between doing anything to be with/be there for someone, and losing yourself in that pursuit.

    That’s not to say I think you shouldn’t compromise in a relationship, I think that’s an important part of any relationship since it involves two people “coming together” in a way. Just feel like saying you would “do anything” to be with someone else can be detrimental; it’s important to know where your boundaries are, knowing the “blanks” that’d fill in, “I would do anything -but- . . . to be with this other person.”

    Maybe this sort of clarification isn’t necessary for most, but for me it’s something I had to learn.

    Also, I’d like to add…make sure both of your important values are compatible! As well as life milestones (how do you want to live, do you want kids, etc.)

    Other than that, I think this is a great list! This is just my two cents haha. =)

  • Bob

    Hey Celes inspiring list,

    3 thoughts:

    When you feel energised being together.

    When you stretch each other in a loving way.

    When you feel more beautiful and loved every day.

  • http://www.gowithheart.com rahul

    Beautiful article celes . . . God bless u . . . Agree with bob too. . . :)

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Aw thanks rahul for your kind words! :) May God bless you too!

      • http://www.gowithheart.com rahul

        thanks celes. :)

  • Ken

    I thought I had found “The One” but I think developed feelings for her with all the wrong reasons.

    I know I ended up losing all respect from her with some of things I said, and it was because of this false or mis-understood love I developed for her.

    I needed to love myself before I could give my love to someone. I know I was avoiding working on my self esteem, & my confidence by helping her out more with her needs. Avoiding my problems.

    I know I had 3 through 10 for her, but 1 and 2, I didn’t need to push that expectation on her.

    I do know I lost the best friend I have ever known.

    • http://personalexcellence.co Celes

      Hey Ken, that’s a beautiful self-realization. “Love” can be fear-based or love-based and much of the love we see in society today is fear-based love, masqueraded as love-based love. “Love” like “I cannot live without you” or “I’ll die if you’re not with me” tends to be fear-based love, which then causes the problems you mentioned.

      You are definitely on the right track, and so are many of us here on PE I believe. As we grow in our life journeys, I’m sure we will eventually meet the right ones for us too. :)

  • http://thetaoofbadassinvestigator.com Jacky

    I like this post , this is the greatest list for me to review my relationships. Thanks .