This is part-3 of a series on parents and understanding our relationship with them.

1. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 1: A Child’s Wish
2. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 2: A Pervasive, Widening Gap
3. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 3: Revelations and Happiness
4. How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents: A Delicate Guide

There was a point when I contemplated not growing at all, to take a step away from pursuing my visions in life, and to go for a “normal” or “routine-based” life, just so the chasm between me and my parents would stop widening.

Growing Up as One

For it is when I was a little girl when my parents and I were the closest. We would go out at least once a week, as a family – be it to the Bird Park, Crocodile Farm, the Zoo, Chinese Garden, IMM (a mega-mart), Fantasy Island (in Sentosa), and the like. We would also go out for family dinners 1-2 times a week.

Then during the weekdays, while my dad was working, my mom would bring me and my brother out, be it to the local market, to run errands, to…

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Published Jul 17 2011
Filed: About Celes, Family & Friends, Love & Compassion, Relationships
Tags: family, father, kinship, mother, parents, relationship

This is part-2 of a series on parents and understanding our relationship with them.

1. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 1: A Child’s Wish
2. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 2: A Pervasive, Widening Gap
3. How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents, Part 3: Revelations and Happiness
4. How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents: A Delicate Guide

Resignation

For a long time, I resigned that I would never have the kind of parental-bond I was looking for – at least not in this lifetime. Perhaps I would get them via my future parent-in-laws (whoever they may be and if I ever get married), but not with my parents. I resigned that this was a wish that would only get fulfilled in another life, in another time.

I tried to rationalize it, by telling myself that the kind of family bonds I see on television were unreal. That they were idealized, and not representative of real life. I also told myself maybe they were more typical in the western culture, and not a norm over here in Asia.

But all these rationalizations would prove themselves to be acts of self-denial, especially when I looked outward to my friends’…

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Published Jul 14 2011
Filed: About Celes, Family & Friends, Love & Compassion, Relationships
Tags: family, father, kinship, mother, parents, relationship