Comments on: How To Deal With Rude People – Co-Workers, Associates, Customers, Managers, etc

By: Dale Roach

Dale Roach — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:13:00 +0000

I have found that this is one of greatest challenges that faces any business, volunteer team and even church organizations. Thanks for the article.

By: Beth

Beth — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 20:28:27 +0000

Dena:

I was lucky to have found your comment here. I am the park manager of an over 55 association with approximately 550 people, 293 homes. I am receiving a lot of hateful, angry comments from a couple of board members who are displaying their attitude in public and at board meetings. The three board memebrs used to be my biggest supporters until I was promoted as manager, which the three voted for, Four months into my new position, I fired a maintenance man, which one of the three was very protective and had written a 2 page probationary letter over in 2007. This guy had serious working and personal issues but these guys are seriously angry and hateful toward me and that seems to have triggered it. There was a board meeting held and things got so bad at the meeting that I ended up walking out. Residents/members were there and were a[paled at their behavior. We just had another board meeting and I was resolved to not let them get to me so I smothered them with kindness.

This is my first encounter with this degree of hate and anger and I am getting worn out. I know these three want me out because they want to go back to a self managed park. My contract is up December 31st and they are walking around telling people that I will not be there in Janaury, then they are going to fire Rick (my new maintenance worker that I hired) and hire the old maintenance worker back. They have lost respect from their friends over their outbursts.

I was wondering if you have ever run into this type of situation at your association. Working in an associations, as I’m sure you know, is like working in a virtual emotional melting pot, if you haven’t experienced it, it is very hard to imagine how draining and weary it can make you.

I would appreciate any feedback that you can give me.

Beth

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 18:22:51 +0000

I think the Zen Master Swayze covered this with 3 rules .

One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected;
Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the bar unless it’s absolutely necessary; and Three…be nice… until is time to not be nice.

This seems to cover the bulk of this article.

By: Nancy Noder

Nancy Noder — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 00:11:51 +0000

I looked up how to deal with criticism and rude behaviour this evening because I went to visit my youngest daughter to give her an invitation. My middle daughter was helping my grandson to write. I suggested that since he is 6 that she draw lines on the paper to make it easy for him to direct his writing. She said it wasn’t necessary but my grandson insisted it was because “that is what they do at school”, so she drew lines. The next minute, I asked my grandson a question and she started shouting at me telling me I was asking him stupid questions; that he should be doing his homework; that my behaviour was childish, and really going on. At first I thought she was joking but when she persisted I noticed how serious she was, and I started to feel quite uncomfortable with her shouting so vehmently to me in front of my grandson. To be honest, I thought it was disrespectful on reflection, but I said nothing but got up, kissed my daughter goodbye and left without saying anything to the offending daughter. After reading your comment on dealing with people who are critical, I did introspect and wondered what her behaviour reminded me of, and believe it is because I have always been criticised by members of my family and have said nothing .
This time I sent her a text asking her not to disrespect me in front of my son again, and that she could have called me to one side if she had a problem with me interrupting his homework time. She wrote an abrupt text reinforcing that I was childish and rude. I decided to google critical behaviour and came across your site, thankfully, which said reward criticism with kindness not criticism because it can create a dent in the relationship. So I texted her and said she had mentioned she was tired and that she should rest and wished her good night. I am not sure what the outcome will be, but as soon as I sent those words of kindness, I felt so much better.
It is probably difficult to deal with criticsim from one’s child, but nevertheless, I accept that her crticism nothwithstanding had validity from a certain perspective but I am not going to beat myself up about it.

By: How To Deal With Rude People – Part 3

How To Deal With Rude People – Part 3 — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:18:57 +0000

[...] Part 1: How To Deal With Rude People – Tips #1 – #4 [...]

By: Celes

Celes — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 10:20:55 +0000

Hey Rachel, thanks a lot for your encouraging comments Feel free to use the reply button directly under each comment if you’d like to reply to the specific comment – it’ll nest underneath

By: Petteri

Petteri — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:46:34 +0000

Interesting topic Celes.

I always think that people who have rude obviously have some problems in their life. Why would someone whose self-confidence and happiness are at a very high level be rude to other people around him or her?

That makes me feel compassion towards the person more than anything else and helps me to avoid giving a rude or angry response.

If taking the whole situation lightly and being nice doesn’t help, the next thing I do is to ignore the whole person and focus on something else. Life is full of positive and nice things, so it is up to me to decide what I focus my energy on.

Cheers!