In the 7 weeks I lived in New York City, one of the occupants in the apartment I stayed in, a local, was extremely wasteful. He had a habit of buying a lot of food while he was out, storing it in the fridge, and doing the same thing the next day – to the point where half the fridge would be filled with his food.

Since a lot of his purchases were takeout or prepacked meals, they would go bad after a week or so, and would eventually get thrown out, much to my horror. Bear in mind some of the food would be literally untouched. As much as I tried to salvage the situation (by taking the vegan friendly bits), much of the food was not suitable for me, since it had meat and dairy (I’m a vegan).

Having been brought up by my parents to always be mindful of my consumption needs, I dislike wasteful behavior, and would be abhorred whenever I see it in action. So needless to say, I was shocked by the rampantly wasteful behavior I was greeted with almost every day.

His wasn’t the only wasteful behavior I encountered. Another acquaintance I stayed with while I was in NYC, a local too, would never pack food no matter how much food was left over. Be it whether we were eating in or eating out, regardless of how much food he had left (we’re talking about good quality food that would last another meal or two), he would throw them all away. One time there was about 30-40% of food left. Another time about 99% of the meal was intact as he had only taken 1-2 bites.

When I asked him why (he wouldn’t pack/store the food), he said he just didn’t want leftovers. Even if the food was perfectly good for another meal; even if there was a lot of food left. If he ever wanted to eat something, he said he would want a new meal, be it getting it from the store or making it himself. I suspect it wasn’t just him, and it turned out to be true as I observed the same behavior out of the locals I met later on.

This was a sharp contrast from the people I met while in London (I was there for 3 months), who would pack whatever food they could not finish, be it in a restaurant or at home. It could be at a Chinese restaurant with rice and stir fries, at an Indian restaurant with naans, chickpeas, spinach and curries, or at home with some home cooked meal. They would store it in the fridge, then have it the next day, or later in the week. I was particularly inspired by their conservative spirit and thereafter cultivated a habit of packing my food in restaurants/cafes whenever I couldn’t finish the food.

The wasteful behavior I observed, from the 2 acquaintances I mentioned above, along with numerous other encounters during my 3-month stay in the States, got me thinking. If I was already picking up on this from the different locals I met (who come from different states, and are not related in any way), chances are it is suggestive of the culture in the country. Of course there will be the outliers, i.e. Americans who aren’t wasteful (I do have American friends who are not wasteful at all), but we’re talking about the societal norm here. It would seem that America has quite a wasteful culture compared to other places in the world.

Even if that is the case, it made me realize that beyond America, all of us live in a very wasteful society today. It’s only a matter of relativity. And this inspired me to write today’s post about preventing waste in our world today.

The Epidemic of Waste

Before I go on any further, here is a small fact sheet regarding waste which I reckon many of us don’t know about (and neither did I before writing this post). While many of the facts pertain to U.S., we can still take them as a directional guide for the equivalent facts for our country:

• Food Wastage Facts:
• As of 2011, 1.3 billion tons of food, or one third of the global food production, are lost or wasted annually. [1]
• Loss and wastage occurs in all steps in the food supply chain. In low-income countries, most loss occurs during production, while in developed countries much food is wasted at the consumption stage. [1]
• In US, a shocking 40% of food waste occurs at home. In a cross-country survey done among 400 US households, 93% of respondents acknowledged buying foods they never used. [2], [3]
• Plastic Facts:
• Our consumption rate of plastic bags today is over 500 billion plastic bags annually. That’s almost 1 million plastic bags used every minute! [4]
• According to The Wall Street Journal, the U.S. goes through 100 billion plastic bags annually (for shopping). An estimated 12 million barrels of oil is required to make that many plastic bags. [4]
• Plastic bags cause hundreds of thousands of birds, sea turtle and other marine animal deaths every year because these creatures mistake plastic trash for food. [4]
• On average, every household uses 500 plastic bottles each year, of which just 130 are recycled. [5]
• North Americans throw away 2.5 million plastic bottles every hour. [12]
• Paper Facts:
• A typical business office will produce about 1.5 pounds of paper waste per employee, per day. [7]
• The paper industry is the 4th largest contributor to greenhouse gas emissions among United States manufacturing industries. [6]
• Paper cups consume trees, water, and chemicals, and dump them into streams and landfills – they are not re-cyclable. Every year nearly 900 million trees are cut down to provide raw materials for American paper and pulp mills. [12]
• Half the world’s forests have already been cleared or burned, and 80% of what’s left has been seriously degraded. [6]
• Paper accounts for 25% of landfill waste (and one third of municipal landfill waste). [6]
• Water Facts: 
• Up to 99% of the world’s water supply is unusable – it’s either salty or located in ice caps and glaciers. This means only 1% of water in the world is usable. [8]
• About 95% of the water entering our homes goes down the drain! [9]
• The average person in the United States uses anywhere from 80-100 gallons of water per day (or 300-380 liters!). Flushing the toilet takes up the largest amount of this water. [10]
• Recycling Facts:
• Up to 60% of the rubbish that ends up in the dustbin could be recycled but isn’t. The unreleased energy contained in the average dustbin each year could power a television for 5,000 hours.  [11]
• Every Sunday, more than 500,000 trees are used to produce the 88% of newspapers that are never recycled. [12]
• Other Facts:
• On average, 16% of the money you spend on a product pays for the packaging, which ultimately ends up as rubbish. [11]
  
• Packaging accounts for 50% of all paper produced in North America, 90% of all glass, and 11% of aluminum. [12]

As you can see, there is a huge amount of waste in our world today. This wastage doesn’t just apply to food. It also applies to plastic, paper, water, fuel, material items - and even waste itself (recyclable waste not being recycled).

Why Wasting Is Bad

While it’s obvious wasting is very bad, here are 4 key reasons to note:

1. Environmental costs. The production of goods and industrialization of our society have resulted in a lot of damage to our environment today. Cutting down of rainforests, global warming, depletion of ozone layer, water/land/air pollution, death of marine life from plastic pollution, and many more – these could be reduced if we cut down waste.
   
2. Depletes precious resources. Our resources are rapidly depleting since we are using them much quicker than they can be replaced. The American Petroleum Institute estimated in 1999 the world’s oil supply would be depleted between 2062 and 2094, while Energy Information Agency estimated in 2005 the world has about 60 years of natural gas left. Soon we will not have enough to survive. While alternative fuel sources are being sought out, majority of the world are still reliant on conventional fuel sources, and there is no guarantee we can transition to these alternatives before the original sources are used up. What is much more helpful than reducing waste is if we don’t waste to begin with – by consuming only when we need to.
3. Generates clutter. When we purchase things we don’t need, be it material goods or food, it creates unnecessary clutter. Why create the problem of clutter, only to have to spend time, money, and energy to declutter later on? All this can be avoided by not generating waste to begin with.
4. Waste money. Last but not least, waste results in monetary wastage. Buying things we don’t need results in waste of money; Disposing of things which we could have avoided buying in the first place costs money too.

Why We Are Wasteful

If wasting is bad, then why is there such a culture of waste today?

Firstly, materialism and consumerism. Materialism is the preoccupation with material goods, while consumerism is the practice of purchasing more and more goods. Both are prevalent in our society today, which is engulfed in the notions of “More and more” and “The newer, the better”.

Because of that, we would buy things without considering if we need them, which results in wastage, because we never have a need for the things we purchase.

This could have been avoided if we did not acquire stuff we didn’t need in the first place.

Secondly, we are ignorant about the implications of waste.

Many of us are only aware what is involved in the consumption stage of goods, without knowing what it took to produce those goods, or what happens when they get disposed of. We take for granted the world will always be around, not knowing our resources are being rapidly depleted as we speak, or the harm we are inflicting to our world today.

At one point in the past, I was one of these people too. Reckless shopping, buying clothes which I thought I might wear but would eventually not wear, throwing out clothes which I had never worn before, then repeating the cycle all over again. It would be a matter of time before I realized how wasteful this behavior was and how it could be prevented by being conscious of my consumption in the first place.

The fact sheet above is to give you a a glimpse of the damage we’re creating today. But just as we created this waste, we can prevent it too. It all starts with us.

How To Prevent Waste: Your Handy Guide

In today’s guide, I’ll be sharing tips on how to prevent waste. These tips apply to all of us, regardless of who we are, what we do, and where we live. Because no matter we are from, there is always something we can to do help prevent waste.

1) Prevent Material Wastage

• Buy only what you need.  Wastefulness is merely a symptom that we do not know what we need.  Before purchasing, ask yourself:
1. Do I need this? Our modern society has created a materialistic culture, where people are encouraged to buy more and more, without thinking if we need any of these things to begin with. This is the case, be it in the technology field, the fashion industry, or consumer goods market. Differentiate between needing something and wanting something. Buy it only if you need it.
2. If you’re buying food, ask yourself the additional question of: Will I finish this? Buy it only if you’re going to say yes to both.
• Make replacement purchases only if you need to.
• The acquaintances I mentioned in the opening of the article told me they change a new laptop every 3-6 months, which I was shocked by! When I asked them why they do that, they say it’s not because their current laptop is spoiled, lost or made obsolete, but simply because they can.
• Personally I change a laptop about once every 3-4 years (mine starts failing on me at that point), and I have friends who have been using their laptops for over 5 years and going strong. Each of my mobile phones in the past have always lasted me well over 3 years, and the reason why I had to get a new one each time is because my previous one was misplaced.
• How often do you replace the things you use? To be honest, you really don’t need that latest laptop/mobile/camera/watch/bag/wallet/clothing. Truly. Get it only if you have a real need for it. See the first point of this list.
• Celebrating special occasions:
• Learn to celebrate the occasion, sans gifts. There is a message behind each occasion, and the gift is only one way of expressing the message. Learn to embrace and deliver the message without gifts, rather than rely on gifts to do the work.
• Consider alternatives to gifts. Such as via acts of kindness, e-cards, heartfelt letters (or emails), fun-filled activities, or meal treats. These are environmentally conscious ways of celebrating the event.
• Buy gifts only if there is a need. If you absolutely have to buy something, do your research and ensure it’s something the person will use. The worst purchase is when you buy someone something for the sake of buying, and it’s not even something which the person want nor need. The best gift is when it’s something the person is intending to get for him/herself at some point anyway. This way, your gift has more meaning and will be put into good use.

2) Prevent Food Wastage

• Cultivate the habit of packing food. Pack food after each meal (at home or in the restaurant), if you have leftovers. Packing food is a very good habit as it helps save not only food, but also time and money from not having to get your next meal. Even if you don’t like the food, pack it for someone else who may want it.
  
• While you’re at it, bring your tupperware whenever you go out. This way, you can easily pack food when needed, which will be handy since not all establishments provide packing boxes (such as food courts). Not only that, the reusability of the tupperware means no wastage of packing boxes.
• Buy only what you need. Don’t buy food unless you’re absolutely sure (a) you’re going to eat it (b) you’re going to finish it. This is especially so for perishable food like fruits, vegetables, takeout and prepacked food. The acquaintance I mentioned in the opening would buy food without considering if he was going to finish it or not – in the end it would get tossed into the bin because it had gone bad before he ever got to it. Not only did he waste precious food, he also wasted money.
• Finish the food at home first before you buy more. Don’t buy food to stock up – we’re not entering a famine. Finish what you have at home first, then go grocery shopping.
• Omit food you don’t want. In restaurants, if there is something you don’t eat in a dish, ask the server to omit that. For example, I don’t like to eat rice. Hence, if my dish comes with rice, I would ask the servers to exclude that, as opposed to them serving rice and having it thrown away eventually because it is untouched. Fine if I’m paying the same price – the point is not to waste food.

3) Prevent Plastic Wastage

• Bring your own bag. One of the biggest material wastage is via carrier paper / plastic bags. When grocery shopping, set aside a big bag or a trolley for grocery shopping, and use this whenever you head to the supermarket. Supermarkets like Ralphs (in the west coast of U.S.) let you buy a large recyclable bag for $0.99 USD which you can use over and over again. When doing general shopping, put your purchases in bags you have on hand. Let the cashiers know you don’t need their bags.
  
• Save plastic cups.
• At the office. If you work in an office, you probably have a pantry, complete with a coffee maker, tea bags, a water dispenser and plastic/paper cups – whereby you use 2-3 cups a day for just drinking. The average American office worker uses about 500 disposable cups every year! In a global corporation with 100,000 employees, that’s 50 million cups wasted annually! Instead of using disposable cups, get a mug and use this for all your drinks from now on.
• Ordering at the cafe. If you order coffee/tea every day from the same cafe, keep the plastic cup and hand it to the server for your next orders. One cup a day adds up to hundreds a year. Starbucks has a program where you save 10 cents off your beverage when you bring your Starbucks reusable tumblers or travel mugs. Not only do you get to save the environment, you get to save your money too!
• Save plastic utensils. Every year, Americans throw away enough paper and plastic cups, forks, and spoons to circle the equator 300 times. Many of us use plastic utensils once and throw them away after 1 use, which is a big waste and totally unnecessary. Bring a set of utensils whenever you go out (fork, knife, spoon). Now, use this set instead of taking plastic utensils whenyou eat out. Wash/wipe it when you’re done, so you can reuse it the next time.

4) Prevent Paper Wastage

• Print only if you need to. Back when I was working in the corporate environment, a lot of paper was wasted every day printing material which was either used once or not used at all. If you have a presentation, have the audience refer to the screen instead. Print it only if you need it. A paperless office is the way to go in this new decade.
• Go for soft copy over hard copy. In many exercises on PE, I mentioned I use soft copies over hard copies – be it my life handbook, my project guidebooks, or when I do writing exercises. I find soft copy a superior choice, because (1) you can make changes easily (2) it’s environmentally-friendly (3) it provides formatting advantages over writing (4) it’s space-friendly – you can store it all in your laptop, whereas writing on paper/books means having to take them wherever you go (5) with Ctrl+F, it’s easy to look for what you need – whereas writing on paper requires a manual search, which can take a while if you have a lot of material to work through.
• Use rough paper if you need to write. If you really need to have a hard copy, then use rough paper as your first choice. There’s no need to buy a new fancy notebook or buy writing pads. Whenever I need to jot notes, I’ll take from the stack of rough papers I’ve collected over time.
• Use a handkerchief or towel - over paper napkins or tissues, which add up quickly. You use it once and throw it away, even though 90% is unused most of the time. Play a part in saving our rainforests. Use a handkerchief to wipe your hands/mouth (one side for each). Handkerchiefs used to be seen as old-fashioned and unhygienic, but I think it’s now the “in” thing to do. It’s reusable, a conscious choice, and cute too, if I may say so myself. At home, use a towel for cleaning. Put them away in the laundry basket when they are dirty. That way, you also save water.

5) Prevent Water Wastage

• Turn the tap tight every time. Make sure it does not drip. Fix your tap if it’s leaking – get a plumber or fix it yourself. A tap that drips one one drop a second wastes more than 600 liters a month, or over 7,500 liters a year! (Source: U.S. Geological Survey)
• Take short showers (3-4 minutes), over baths or long showers. Baths use nearly 2.5 times as much water as showers, while showers use 3-4 buckets of clean drinking water – every minute. (Source: Water Wise)
• When washing your face, use a basin and a sponge, rather than let the water run.
• Use a mug to rinse your mouth. Running the tap while brushing your teeth can waste 4 gallons of water. (Source: Huffington Post)
  
• At home, use the same set of utensils, plate and bowl. Wash them only if they are dirty. I realized a lot of us wash our utensils or put it away in the sink when it’s still perfectly clean. Most of the time, I use my plate or bowl as a place to hold my food (like fruits, vegetables, or bread slices) and they barely get dirty. Hence, I use them over and over, and wash them only when they are dirty.

• Do you know a full toilet flush can use upto 15 litres of water for everyflush, whereas half flush usesless than 6 litre? (Source: Water Wise) When using the toilet, use a half flush if it’s number one (pee), and a full flush if it’s number two (poo). Install a dual-flush toilet system if you don’t already have one.
• If you use a dishwasher, turn it on only when it’s full. Not when it’s half-full.
• Do your laundry only when you have a maximum load. The same amount of water is used whether you’re washing only 1 underwear or one huge basket of clothes.

6) Prevent Fuel Wastage

• Switch off lights when no in use. Casper doesn’t need lights to see his way around.
• Switch off appliances when you’re not using them. Including TV, radio and the computer.
• Don’t get a car unless you absolutely need to. Not only do you conserve the environment, you also save money, since having a car can be quite expensive, especially in places like Singapore, New York City, and London.
• Use alternatives to private transport. Such as the public transport, cycling, walking, or even car pooling. When I was in Holland, I was amazed at their culture of cycling. Not only does it help fuel conservation in the country, it also keeps everyone trim and fit – Holland is easily the country with highest proportion of fit people I’ve ever been to.

7) Other Tips To Prevent Waste

• Cultivate the habit of recycling.
• Did you know that… 1 recycled tin can would save enough energy to power a television for 3 hours? 1 recycled glass bottle would save enough energy to power a computer for 25 minutes? 1 recycled plastic bottle would save enough energy to power a 60-watt light bulb for 3 hours? And 70% less energy is required to recycle paper compared with making it from raw materials? (Source: Recycling Guide)
• When I was in Germany, I couldn’t help but notice recycling is such an integral part of German culture. Every German household has 2 bins – 1 for trash, and 1 for recyclable material. In public, there are always different bins for different recyclable materials. Not surprisingly, Germans lead the World in recycling, with 70% of their waste recycled every year. (Source: Trash Planet)
• The German’s recycling culture is something worthy of replicating. Get into the habit of recycling. Put aside recyclable waste and dispose of them in the appropriate recycling bins.
• Donate things you don’t need. For clothes, shoes, books, and other belongings that you don’t need, either (a) sell them on eBay (b) give them to someone you know who will have a use for them, or (c) donate them to the Salvation Army, orphanages or old folks’ home. Don’t throw them away or leave them lying around unused. You may not recognize this, but there are plenty of people out there who can benefit from them.

Closing Words

Change starts from you.

I imagine most, some of you, might have skimmed through this guide, and went “Oh yeah, I do this, this and this – That’s enough.” or “This is boring stuff. Who cares about environmental conservation? Let others do the work.“.

But no, this shouldn’t be the way. PE is about personal excellence, and personal excellence isn’t just about working on our lives, our careers, our health, and our relationships. That’s part of it, but not all of it. True personal excellence also includes knowing our place in this world, knowing the impact of our existence on others, and taking action to make the world a better place for all of us.

Let us all do our part in conserving our world. You will be amazed by how much change one person can effect. If each of us follow all the tips outlined in this tutorial, and in turn influence others around us to do the same, the impact would be staggering.

We only have one world to live in, so let’s not destroy it with our reckless behavior.

Do you have any tips of your own? Share with everyone below.

Image: Food wastage; Recyclable bag; Other images © PE

Related Posts

• Holland Travel Series: The Dutch Culture, Part 1
• Materialism Breeds Unhappiness
• The Story of Stuff

(Click image for larger version)

Source article: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Make sure to put this up on your work desk as a daily reminder!

Feel free to like/share this on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc if you find it useful. Convenient share buttons can be found below this post.

How do you find this manifesto? Want to see more? Which ones are you interested to see? Let me know via the comments area.

Related Posts

• [Pic] 101 Things To Do Before You Die, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] How To Say No, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] How To Be a Dean’s Lister, Manifesto Version
• 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

(Click image for larger version)

Based on the popular How To Be a Dean’s Lister 3-part series which I wrote in May 2010:

1. Part 1: What is Dean’s List and 6 Key Benefits of Being A Dean’s Lister
2. Part 2: How To Be A Dean’s Lister: Tips #1 – #6
3. Part 3: How To Be A Dean’s Lister: Tips #7 – #13

You can also download the series in the form of an ebook, in the Free Ebooks section.

Feel free to like/share this on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc if you find it useful. Convenient share buttons can be found below this post.

How do you find this manifesto? Want to see more? Which ones are you interested to see? Let me know via the comments area.

Related Posts

• [Pic] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] How To Say No, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] How To Nay-say the Naysayers, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] 101 Things To Do Before You Die, Manifesto Version

(Click image for larger version)

Source article: How To Say No To Others: The Only Guide You’ll Ever Need

Feel free to like/share this on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc if you find it useful. Convenient share buttons can be found below this post.

How do you find this manifesto? Want to see more? Which ones are you interested to see? Let me know via the comments area.

Related Posts

• [Pic] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way, Manifesto Version
• [Pic] How To Nay-say the Naysayers, Manifesto Version
• How To Say No To Others: The Only Guide You’ll Ever Need
• [Pic] The Self-Confidence Manifesto

Manifesto, n. – A public declaration of intentions, opinions, objectives, or motives. (Dictionary.com)

Lately I discovered a new way of distributing PE’s content – as image manifestos.

A manifesto is a declaration of intentions or principles to achieve a desired aim. An image manifesto would be a manifesto, in an image form. Like the famous Holstee Manifesto, which has been widely distributed around the net.

Image manifestos are great since it conveys the message at one glance, is easy to refer to, and serves as a great daily reminder. It’s a simple, no frills, right-to-the-point way of distributing content.

Since a lot of the content on PE is gold, I thought it’d be great to adapt some of the classic hits into image manifestos. This post marks the first of image manifestos I plan to create. If it proves to be popular, I’ll create more. Just let me know in the comments area. And let me know which posts you’d like to see as manifestos.

First up is The 8 Habits of Highly Productive People, an all time site classic written in 2010. I’ve extracted the 8 habits and produced them in a portrait layout. The tips are timeless and apply no matter when you’re reading it, of course!

(Click image for larger version)

Source article: The 8 Habits of Highly Productive People

Print it out, stick it on the wall of your room, refrigerator, vision board, organizer, life handbook, computer wallpaper, etc if you may. It’s a great way to check if you’re following the productivity habits and to get yourself back on track.

So far I’ve shared it on my Facebook page, and it seems many people like it. Thanks for your kind comments, everyone! (If you’re not on my Facebook, you should – it’s where I connect with PE readers and let them into my personal life as much as possible.)

If you think this is helpful, feel free to share with your friends and family on Facebook, Flickr, your personal blog, Tumblr, etc. Just leave the original image intact, including the copyright and source URL.

Like this? Want to see more? Leave a comment and let me know.

PS: The emotional eating series will continue shortly. Stay tuned!

Related Posts

• The 8 Habits of Highly Productive People
• 50 Effective Ways To Boost Your Productivity
• 11 Simple Tips To Effective Email Management
• Why I Wake Up Early (And 9 Reasons You Should Do So Too)

I’m happy to announce that we’re featured in Australia’s The Sun-Herald (newspaper in Sydney, published every Sunday) and The Age (Melbourne’s daily newspaper) today!

Just last month, I was invited to write an article for The Sunday Life (a supplement that’s distributed as part of The Sun-Herald and The Age) on how to live a more productive life. The article below is the result!

*Click for larger version. Special thanks to reader Charles for buying a copy and helping to scan it! Also special thanks to other readers in Australia for buying a copy and offering to help scan too! You guys are all my angels! ♥

For readers in Australia, you can find the article can be found in the “Life” supplement in The Sun-Herald (for those in Sydney) and The Sunday Age (for those in Melbourne), page 27 (out of 40 pages).

The Sun-Herald has a readership of 1,159,000 (as of December 2009), while The Sunday Age has a readership of 695,000, so that’s nearly 2 million people in total! Its target audience is generally more educated and affluent readers, so it’s definitely in line with the readers we want to reach out with PE. So a special thank you to The Sunday Life for this opportunity!

For the new readers who are visiting the blog after reading the article, welcome! This is Personal Excellence, dedicated for individuals who are passionate about achieving excellence in life. Please visit Start section to get started on using the blog. Feel free to add me on Facebook and Twitter if you’d like to connect with me personally. Look forward to knowing you guys better in the upcoming period.

Be sure to check 8 Habits of Highly Productive People - a timeless Personal Excellence classic I wrote in 2010, which is a site hit as well.

Check out the media section for a list of our past media coverages. Thanks to all media outlets for the publicity!

Related Posts

• Update: Talkshow and Latest Media Coverage in Radio 938 LIVE, Today and Lianhe Wanbao (Nov ’09)
• We Are On CNN! (Bucket Lists and Life)
• I’m Going to Europe!
• Flying to Ibiza, Spain!

“We cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are.” - Max Depree

How does one become a better person?

I remember when I was studying in university, I didn’t like myself very much. I was rude, selfish, emotionally stingy, self-centered, judgmental, highly critical, very obnoxious, and arrogant.

When I think back about it, a lot of that came from insecurity with myself – a lack of self-esteem. I didn’t like myself, and this projected in my behavior toward others. I was dissatisfied with things about me, and hence I was dissatisfied with things about other people.

Subsequently, I decided to work on becoming a better person. I didn’t like who I was becoming and I wanted to change that. After all, it’s quite miserable to live a life of self-hate. They say misery loves company, but I think the company misery attracts is self-debilitating in nature. It only makes you more and more unhappy, and no sooner turns you into a wrenched sight. Not a pretty vision, me thinks.

Today, I’m a lot happier with who I am. I can’t say that I’m perfect or that I’ve achieved my ideal persona, because there’s still so much I’ve to work on. I also think that becoming a better person is an ongoing goal to be worked on, and there’s never a real end point to reach.

In this massive list post (yet another in the 101 tips series! Past sister articles include: 101 Things To Do Before You Die | 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time | 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life | 101 Ways To Live Your Life to the Fullest), I share with you 101 ways to be a better person. If you just follow a tip a day, you’ll go a long way towards becoming a better, more likable, person. Remember this isn’t about making yourself liked by others – but about becoming someone you truly love and adore, which will in turn attract the right people and opportunities into your life.

Here goes:

1. Commit yourself to growth (Be Growth-oriented). The more you grow, the better you become. I committed myself to a lifetime of growth back in 2006 (when I discovered my purpose), and I’ve never looked back ever since.

   

2. Work on your negative traits. Are there any traits you dislike about yourself? Some traits which I didn’t like about myself in the past include being self-centered, arrogance, selfishness, critical, harshness, hardness, etc. Identify them, then work on them one at a go. It can be challenging to try to overhaul your character at one go. On the other hand, if you work on addressing 1 negative trait at a time, it’s a lot more manageable and achievable.
3. Identify your ideal persona. What’s your ideal self like? Picture him/her in your mind, then write down all the traits of your ideal persona. Then, start living true to your ideal self.
4. Find a role model. Having a role model gives us a concrete image of who we want to become. I see role models in people like Ellen Degeneres (for her genuineness and compassion towards others), Tyra Banks (for not being afraid to stand up for what she believes in, and inspiring women to do the same), Ivanka Trump (for her beauty, intellect and grace – representing the modern day woman), Oprah (for being a power mover in the world of self-help), among others. Who is/are your role model(s), and what do you like about them?
5. Be a role model. The best way to be a better person is to be a role model to others. How can you be an inspirational guide to others? Live by example. In being a role model, remember it’s not about making yourself into someone you’re not (see #57 on Be Individualistic). It’s about living true to your ideal self (see #3).
6. Be a better child to your parents. You only have 2 parents in your life, so appreciate the time you have with them. If your relationship with your parents is non-ideal, it doesn’t mean that everything ends here. I used to have a very poor relationship with my parents, until I achieved resolution recently. Read: How I Found Peace in My Relationship with My Parents

   

7. Be a better friend to your friends. I used to be disappointed at how some of my friends aren’t always there for me when I need them, then I realized that I should think about how I can be a better friend to my friends first before making such expectations of others. Likewise for you, think: How can you be a better friend to your friends? Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life
8. Be a better sibling, if you have siblings. I’ve several friends who are the only-child, and they frequently talk about how they wish they had a brother or sister. If you’re lucky enough to have brother(s) and sister(s), treasure them. Spend more time with them; Show them care and concern; Look out for them if you need to.
9. Be a better partner, if you’re attached. If you’ve a girlfriend/wife or boyfriend/husband, think about how you can be a better partner to him/her. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to make demands and expectations about what your partner should do/be, but it’s difficult to take ownership for the things we aren’t doing/being ourselves. Commit yourself to being a better partner, and release your expectations of your partner. Both of you will be happier that way.

   

10. Be a better parent, if you have children. Many parents have told me that having a child one of the most amazing things that has ever happened to them. If you have a child(ren), think about how you can be a better parent, without impeding on the child’s growth. Raising a child can be challenging especially as he/she enters adolescence years, but that’s also part of the joy of being a parent.
11. Be a better employee in your company (if you work for someone). Often times, I hear people complain about how their companies are not giving them enough benefits/wages/support/etc. While this may be true, think about how you can be a better employee instead. Check if there’s anything more you can do for your manager. See if there are any new projects you can take on. See how you can improve your current performance.
12. Be a better manager/leader (if you’re managing others). Many people leave their jobs because they’re unhappy with their managers. How well you manage your employees can dramatically affect their motivation levels and their performance. Put their needs before yours and bring the best out of them.
13. Be a better member of your community. What communities are you a part of? Say, interest groups? Recreational clubs? How can you be a more active part of the communities?
14. Be a better human to others. How can you treat the fellow humans around you better? Start treating them this way.
15. Be a better being in this world. How can you make the world a better place? Start doing that today.
16. Be Able. Equip yourself with skills. Your skills are like the tools in your toolbox. The more skills you have, the more able you become.
    • Learn something new. There are always new things to learn, no matter how much you already know. The more you learn, the better you become. Read: Skills Development
    • Hone your current skills. With your current skills, strengthen them. You can never be too good at a skill – there’s always room to improve. Even the best people in their fields, such as Tiger Woods (Golf), Michael Jordan (Basketball), Beethoven (Pianist) never stopped honing their craft. Read: Leveling Up

    
    Image ©

17. Be Accepting of differences – be it different people, different thinking, different lifestyles, different cultures. For they add variety and color into our lives. If everyone is the same, life will be bland – monotonous, even.
18. Be Adaptable / Flexible / Versatile. Have your goals and plans, but be able to change them accordingly when the situation calls for it. Rigidity is a sign of weakness, while adaptability makes you so much more powerful.
19. Be Adventurous.
    • Step out of your comfort zone. Are you sticking to the same routines and hiding behind a safety net? Step out and do something you’ve never done before. It’ll broaden your mind and make you a better person.
    • Travel. Traveling broadens perspectives and widens horizons. Since June 2011, I’ve been touring the world, starting with Europe and I’m gaining so many insights about different cultures that it’s amazing.  The trip has definitely enriched my perspective on the world.
20. Be Altruistic.
    • Always have the best intentions for others. Go for the highest good in everything you do, every decision you make, every path you take, every thought you have.
    • Volunteer (for a cause you believe in). Not everything has to be measured in money. At PE, I spend hours every day writing the best content and giving it away for free, without asking anything back in return from the readers. With volunteer work, you may be giving your labor for free, but this is time spent in good stead. Don’t underestimate the kind of difference you can make in others’ lives with just a few hours of work.
    • Save the environment. Our world is being wasted away, day after day, with the harm the society at large is inflicting on it. What can you do to protect our home?
21. Be Assertive. Stand up for your rights and things you believe in.
22. Be Attentive. When someone is talking, give him/her your full attention. Don’t busy yourself with something else; that’s just rude and inconsiderate.
23. Be Bold. Life is an adventure – don’t live it in fear. Boldly pursue your dreams. Boldly act on your instincts. Boldly create the life you’ve always wanted. Read: How To Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams
24. Be Candid. Be frank, be outspoken, be earnest. Say what’s on your mind – Don’t feel the need to censor your words because you’re afraid of what others think. Be true to yourself. (But not at the expense of others’ feelings, of course – See #39 on Be Empathetic.)
25. Be Caring.
    • Show concern. There’s no need to wait for a cry for help before showing your care and concern. You can do it right away, right now, to those around you. Even if there’s nothing wrong, it’ll warm the hearts of others to know that you cared.
    • Call your friends. Are there any friends you’ve not contacted for a while? Call them today and check on how they’re doing. They may not show it, but they’ll be happy that you called – because it showed you cared.
26. Be Coachable. There’s always something we can learn from everyone, no matter his/her age, background or area of expertise. Don’t close off on opportunities to learn just because you think you know enough. Open your mind and let every encounter be a learning lesson. The moment you close yourself off is the point where you stop learning.
    • Find a mentor. A mentor guides you to become greater than you can be by yourself. You should only get a mentor if (a) the person has something to teach you (b) your personalities gel with each other. Back when I was working in P&G, I had informal mentors who often stepped in to make sure I was doing well. At the same time, they themselves had mentors who guided them. No matter how senior or experienced you may be, there’s always someone who has something to teach you.

    

27. Be Committed… to your goals and dreams. If you’ve set a goal, go all out and achieve it. If you’ve laid down a plan, stick to it all through the way. Don’t waver, for that’s not in you to do so.
28. Be Compassionate / Kind. Always look out for opportunities where you can help others. Don’t get caught up in your own space – instead, look outwards and see if there’s anything you can do for others. Even the simplest things, like helping someone carry his/her belongings, is very much appreciated by others.
29. Be Confident… in who you are and what you do. There’s no reason not to be. Read: How To Be The Most Confident Person in the World
30. Be Conscientious / Meticulous. Are you attentive to everything you do? Such a quality is rare, but so precious. Conscientious people put their heart and soul to what they do; consequently they do a complete and thorough job in whatever they do. You’ll naturally be a valuable asset to whichever organization or team you’re a part of.
31. Be Considerate / Thoughtful. Make a habit to consider others in your decisions and actions, for they affect other people. Make sure no one is negatively affected before you proceed with your plans.
    • Practice the Golden Rule. It’s the ethic of reciprocity, which states “One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself”. How do you want others to treat you? Shower others with this behavior, and you’ll attract more of the same.
    • Practice the Silver Rule. Related to the Golden Rule, it states “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you”. It’s to make up for the shortcomings of the Golden Rule. How do you not want others to treat you? Make sure you don’t do this to others.
32. Be Cooperative. Don’t be insular and seclusive. Be willing to work with others if they need your help. We do not exist in this world alone; Life is possible because we have each other.
33. Be Courteous. Practice good etiquette. Always remember your “hi”s, “bye”s, “thank you”s and “welcome”s.
34. Be Courageous / Overcome Fear. Is there anything you’re scared of? Don’t be. Fear is mental – It’s only what you perceive it to be. If you challenge that which you’re afraid of, you’ll realize there’s nothing to be scared of at all, because there is nothing to lose – We entered this world with nothing but our consciousness, we’ll leave the world with the same consciousness. Read: How to Overcome Fear and Pursue Your Dreams | How To Overcome Fear(Series)

    

35. Be Curious.
    • Have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. So you’ll always be learning new things.
    • Ask questions – often. The more questions you ask, the more information you can uncover.
    • Get feedback from others. Feedback is one of the fastest ways to identify areas of improvement, since others can see our blind spots. Day 13 of 30DLBL is about asking for feedback from others around us so we can improve.
36. Be Dependable. Be there for others when they need you. Always check if there’s anything you can do for your friends. If they call you, make time out for them. If they email you, take the time to respond. You never know when it’s someone in pain and reaching out for help. Read: How To Have More Best Friends in Life
37. Be Discerning. Don’t blindly accept everything you hear or read; Always evaluate what you’re given with a discerning mind. This doesn’t mean you become skeptical; but rather you exercise your judgment appropriately.
38. Be Emotionally Generous. Emotional stinginess means to be stingy with your emotions, while emotional generosity is to be generous. So, an emotionally stingy person is typically negative, unhappy, critical, judging, imposing; while an emotionally generous person is positive, happy, encouraging, supportive, etc. Be as giving with your emotions as possible. Encourage others. Be positive. Share happiness. Read: Are You Emotionally Generous?

    
    Image ©

    • Compliment others (with genuine intent). Part of emotional generosity is to be generous with compliments (that’s genuine and not fake). Get into the habit of giving compliments. When you meet someone and if you recognize something nice about him/her, let him/her know. You’ll make his/her day.
39. Be Empathetic. Empathy is the key to successful relationships. Learn to see things from others’ perspective. It’ll let you understand people better, resolve conflicts, and develop meaningful connections.
40. Be Encouraging. No one likes a wet blanket. Be encouraging when your friends share their problems with you. Be supportive when they tell you about their goals.
41. Be Enthusiastic. Life is too beautiful to live dread and boredom. Embrace every day with joy and love. Start every day on a fresh new start! Approach every situation with excitement! And bring this energy to everything you do and everyone you meet.
42. Aim for Excellence.
    • Take on more than you can handle. If you’re managing your responsibilities fine at the moment, challenge yourself by taking on more. If you’re always doing the same things, you’ll never develop anything. You’ll no sooner atrophy in your growth. Take on more work. Push your boundaries. Stretch yourself. This way you increase your capacity.
    • Expect nothing less than the best. Hold yourself to the highest standard in whatever you do. Always aim for the highest goals, the best results, the grandest vision.
    • Live your life to the fullest. Because why should you settle for a life that’s anything less? Read: 101 Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest

    
    

43. Be Fair.
    • Don’t bad mouth other people. Don’t speak ill of people behind their back, because it’s unfair to them and doesn’t give them a chance to defend themselves. Let the person know if you don’t like something he/she did, or otherwise make peace with it within yourself.
    • Don’t discriminate. Give equal treatment to everyone, regardless of race, language, religion, nationality, gender, age, social status, financial status.
    • Don’t judge. Don’t make conclusions about others’ character of their life based on 1-2 things you see about them. Always give others the benefit of the doubt.
    • Uphold justice. If you see unfairness being exacted, step in to right the wrong. This includes intervening when someone is being bullied, or standing up for someone when he/she is being unfairly judged.
44. Have Faith. Don’t put too much pressure on an event or a person to give you the results you seek. Do your best within your capacity, and have faith that everything will fall into place.
45. Be Filial. Our parents have dedicated half of their lives to having us and raising us. Now that we’re grown up, it’s our turn to repay them for the life they have given us. If your relationship with your parents is not the ideal state you envision, be sure to read How To Improve Your Relationship With Your Parents (Series)
46. Be a Follower. Aristotle said it best with this quote: ”He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.” Are you a good follower? Are you able to take directions from others? Are you willing to take directions from others? Before you think about becoming a leader (see #60), you’ve to learn to be a good follower first.
47. Be Forgiving.
    • Let go of your anger. Is there anything or anyone you’re angry with? Perhaps it’s time to give it/him/her and let things go.
    • Bury the hatchet with someone. Beyond embracing forgiveness inside you, reach out to the person you had grievances with in the past.  This is not going to be easy, but it’ll bring you a huge step forward in your growth. When I was younger, I had some conflicts with schoolmates here and there, due to misunderstandings. After I started PE, I decided I had to live by example if I was to pursue my purpose to help others how to achieve their highest potential. So, I reconnected with old schoolmates whom I had conflicts with. It was much easier than I thought – most of them reciprocated in kind, and after that we stayed connected as friends. Read: 30BBM Day 24 – Right a Past Wrong
48. Be Friendly / Approachable. We are all humans, here to connect with one another. If you see someone you don’t know, take the first step to know him/her. With people you know, keep yourself accessible so they can approach you whenever they need help. Read: 10 Tips To Make New Friends

    
    

49. Be Generous. Find joy in giving. Remember life is not a zero sum game. By giving, you get to gain even more. By giving, you open the channel to receive new things in life. When people experience the beauty of giving, they’d want to give back too, so what goes around, comes around.
    • Share the good things in your life. What are you happy for? What do you have that others don’t have? What are you proud of? Don’t keep them to yourself – Share them with others. Happiness isn’t a zero sum equation.
    • Donate. Get in the habit of donating things you don’t need anymore. For example, old clothes, textbooks, books, toys, and the like. All my unwanted clothes are always donated to others. Sometimes I take the nice, unworn pieces and give them to my friends who can better appreciate them.
50. Be Gentle. Our society has brought out a very “hard” side in all of us – one where we’re abrasive, one where we’re hard, one where we’re demanding. Bring out the gentle side in you for a change. It’ll make you a warmer person to be around.

    

51. Be Grateful. For the good things you have, because not everyone gets to have them. For the bad things you have as well,  because they strengthen your character and make you appreciate everything so much more. Day 15 of 30DLBLis all about gratitude.
    • Write a thank you note to a friend. I think a lot of times, we take our friends for granted. We forget about what they’ve done for us and are doing for us, as well as the value of our connection. Write a thank you letter/note/email to a friend and let him/her know how much you appreciate him/her. He/she will be very happy to receive your letter.
52. Be Hardworking / Diligent. Without hard work, we can’t wish to get far in life. I’ve seen people who like to take the easy way out, and this is not what I promote at PE. There are no “quick tips” or “hacks” that will give you instantaneous results – at the end, it boils down to sheer, hard work.
53. Be Helpful. Offer your help even if people don’t ask for it. There’s always something you can do for others.
54. Be Honest. To lie is to shrink into a lesser self; To tell the truth would be take a step up in your growth. (Unless there’s a higher value at stake, such as protecting someone’s well-being.) One of my values is truth – To discover the truth via personal experience and constantly challenging what’s around me, and to be truthful in everything I do and say. I don’t achieve this 100% of the time, but I do my best to uphold it every moment of the day. Read: How To Deal With Dishonest People
55. Be Humble. People who are arrogant tend to suffer from an inferiority complex, which is why they feel the need to parade their accomplishments. Learn to be humble. There’s no need to talk about what you’ve achieved – if they’re really good, the results will speak for themselves.
56. Be Independent. Learn to manage your life. Learn to tackle your problems by yourself, without imposing on others. Feel free to approach others if you need help, but you should never expect them to solve your problems for you.
57. Be Individualistic. Always be you – don’t try to be anyone else. Read: Finding Your Inner Self
58. Have Integrity. Set your moral and ethical principles and stick to them. Never compromise on them no matter what.
59. Be Intuitive. Follow your gut instinct. Let your intuition guide you. You’ll never go wrong with it. The more you follow your gut, the stronger your connection with your intuition will be.
60. Be a Leader. A leader is someone who is able to bring the best out of others, who is able to inspire others to be bigger than who they are, who is able to energize people into action, who is able to lead a way with a common vision. Contrary to what many think, leadership doesn’t begin when you lead a group of people; it begins in our everyday life, with how we conduct ourselves and how we live our lives. Are you a leader of your life? Read: You Are the CEO of Your Life
61. Be a Listener. The ability to listen is quite underrated in our society today. Many people are good at talking, but not listening. For today, make a point to listen to what others around you are saying. Ask questions. Clarify their answers. You may discover new things you didn’t know before. If you own a copy of Personal Excellence Book (Volume 2), be sure to check out 13 Tips To Be a Better Listenerarticle on how you can be a better listener.

    
    

62. Embrace Love. Be a beacon of love. Start by loving everyone around you. Show love to your friends, family, partner, colleagues, bosses, clients, teachers, etc – whether explicitly or implicitly.
    • Love unconditionally. The highest form of love is unconditional love, where you love others without expecting anything in return.
63. Be Loyal / Faithful. To the people that you care for, to the values that you stand for, to the things that you believe in. In the article Discover Your Values in Personal Excellence Book (Volume 1), I share in detail about values: the importance of values, my values and how you can create your own.
64. Be Kind.
    • Don’t criticize. It’s easy to pinpoint faults in others, but really, it’s not in our place to do so. Not only that, it doesn’t make others feel good about themselves.
65. Be Magnanimous. For every thing that people do you wrong, be ready to forgive and forget.
    • Accept criticism. If someone offers criticism, accept it. Accepting isn’t the same as agreeing. You don’t have to agree with the criticism, but at least give yourself the opportunity to consider it. Every criticism is an opportunity to improve, to become better. Read: 8 Helpful Ways To Deal With Critical People
    • Ignore malicious attacks. If someone flames you, take the higher route – ignore the person. You can defend yourself on areas where your values are infringed, but overall, keep a hands-off approach. It’s not worth it to engage in such discussions, because the flamer will only keep attacking, with no desire to achieve a resolution.
66. Be Meditative. Those who meditate will know that meditation cultivates an inner peace within you. It makes you calmer and connects you with your inner self. Read: 10 Reasons You Should Meditate | How To Meditate in 5 Simple Steps

    

67. Be Merciful. Instead of punishment, think forgiveness. Forceful actions – Pain, suffering, death, etc don’t bring closure to issues.
68. Be Moral. Do what’s right over what’s wrong. The question of “what’s right” can be subjective depending on your upbringing, but universal values include equality of humans, gender equality, freedom of speech, freedom of choice, etc.
    • Go the non-cruel path. I commit myself to a vegan lifestyle because I didn’t want to harm animals. While you don’t have to turn vegetarian/vegan for this purpose, think about how you can follow a lifestyle that inflicts less pain to other living beings.
69. Be Mindful / Present. Don’t live in the past or future, but focus on the present moment. For this is where you’re living at now. Meditating helps you to be present (see #66).
70. Be Nurturing. There’s always ability in everyone. How can you nurture it out of each person?

    

    • Recognize the strengths in others. Our society today has eased into a state where we keep looking at what we lack or don’t have, as opposed to what we already have. The former is a scarcity mindset, while the latter is one of abundance. Rather than think about what’s missing in someone (be in character trait, knowledge, ability, etc), focus on his/her strengths. What does she/he have? What is he/she good at? What do you like about him/her? Focus on these vs. what you don’t like.
71. Be Open-Minded. Be ready to accept different beliefs, attitudes, personalities, cultures, practices, rituals, lifestyles, habits, races, nationalities, diets, etc, for everyone is different. No one thing is right; it’s just a matter of what works best for the individual.
72. Be Optimistic / Positive. For life is too short to be negative.
    • Don’t complain. Complaining generates all this negative energy that makes you no different than an energy vampire. While it’s okay to vent every once in a while, be conscious of the times when you do that. Cut down on the time you spend complaining and think about what you can do about the situation instead.
    • Smile. How often do you smile a day? Smiling is something we don’t do enough. Whether you’re out on the streets or at work, it’s more common to see people with stoic expressions and hard frowns than smiles. The next time you see someone, even a stranger, smile at him/her. You’ll be surprised how many people will return the smile. Even if they don’t, trust that they have been warmed by your smile.
    • Laugh. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Learn to laugh at the jokes people make, at the obstacles you’re facing, at the mistakes you’re making, and at the mystery that is life.
73. Be Organized. The state of your life now reflects how organized you are. If everything is constantly in a mess, it suggests you’re probably disorganized in how you manage yourself. In being organized, you create structure, stability and predictability – which frees up your resources to pursue new goals. Creating a life handbookwill help to organize your life.

    

74. Be Patient. Do you get edgy when something/someone is late? Time is fluid; it’s a construct created to help us organize our schedules. Learn to be present and live in the moment instead. Impatience breeds anxiety; Patience brings calmness.
75. Be Peaceful. Where you have a choice, go for peace over violence. The latter solves nothing, but creates more pain. The former is the start to a healing journey.
76. Be Persistent. No matter what you do, never give up. You will achieve whatever you set out to do, as long as you have the will to do it. My story of how I pursued my passion and turned it into a successful business is an example of that. The only time when giving up is the way to go when your priorities change and you realize the goal you were pursuing isn’t what you want anymore. Read: Quitting to Win
77. Be Prudent. Be bold and daring, but at the same time exercise caution. A touch of practicality never hurt anyone; it helps you to be more ready for what’s ahead.
78. Be Purposeful. Pursue a cause that’s higher and larger than you. When you do that, you’ll naturally grow into someone who’s bigger than who you are today. Pursuing my purpose to help others grow has made me embark on journeys and make decisions which I wouldn’t have pursued if I was just living my life for myself. Read: Discover Your Life Purpose in 30 Minutes
79. Be Reasonable. Know your rights, but don’t overstep your boundaries. Act within good reason – You’ll be the best judge to that.
80. Be Repentant. Has there been anything you did that you’re not too proud of? Repent and process it; don’t leave it inside your system, because it’s like rotting flesh – it’ll create an invisible stench and affect you subconsciously in your daily actions. Read: 30BBM Day 24 – Right a Past Wrong
81. Be Resilient / Be Strong. Are you facing any obstacles that are making you waver in your goals? You have the strength inside you to do whatever you want – you just have to draw from it. Read: How To Start When You Have Nothing

    

82. Be Respectful. Treat everyone with utmost respect, because every living being deserves that.
83. Take Responsibility.
    • Live up to your responsibilities. What responsibilities do you have? Are you living up to all your responsibilities? Shrinking away from your tasks is an act of avoidance. Stepping up to them makes you a better person.
    • Don’t self-victimize. It’s easy to say “Why me?” when bad things happen. But it does nothing to build your character – in fact it makes you weaker over time, because you’re not taking ownership for your problems. Believe it or not, everyone faces these problems too – it’s not exclusive to you. Rather than wallow in self-pity, accept your problems as part and parcel of life and address them. The more responsible you are, the more control you have over your life. Read: You Always Have A Choice
84. Be Self-Loving.
    • Be Kind to yourself. Do you often beat yourself up? Stop doing that. You, above all else, deserve kindness and respect from yourself.
    • Love yourself. For when you love yourself, you will automatically start loving others too.
85. Be Self-Reflective. I make a habit to reflect on everything that happens to me, because that’s when I can draw learnings on what I can do better in the future. Self-reflection can take place via a private journal, an online diary, or conversations with others. Asking yourself the right questions is paramount in the self-reflection process. Read: 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself

    

86. Be Sensitive… to others’ needs and feelings. Always check to make sure you’re not neglecting anyone.
    • Don’t Impose. Imposing means to force your opinion on others. It’s okay to offer your opinion, but if others are not taking it, then there’s no need to repeat it over and over again. Keep it to yourself.
    • Don’t give unwanted advice. One biggest problems people face in relationships is when the other party tries to dispense advice that’s not needed. Many times, people converse as a way of sharing. Check if the other party is looking for advice first before you try to offer your 2 cents. It may help prevent unnecessary conflicts.
87. Dedicate yourself to Service. It’s said that service to others is the highest thing one can ever do in life. Think about how you can contribute to others and to this world. And dedicate yourself to it.
88. Be Sharp. Develop your observation skills. Sharp people are always the first to catch on to something; because of that they’re ahead of everyone else in their thinking too.
89. Be Sincere / Genuine. Speak from the heart, always. Don’t say something unless you mean it. One of my core values is authenticity – I only say things that I mean, and never say things if I don’t believe in them.
90. Be Spontaneous. Be uninhibited! Allow yourself to act freely, without restrictions. Not everything has to adhere to a plan all the time. Allow yourself to just go with the flow.

    

91. Be Sympathetic. If others are sharing their problems with you, be sympathetic. Don’t jab in with insensitive remarks. Don’t dismiss their feelings and thoughts. Get yourself into the same state as them and express your sympathy, so they know they’re not alone in the situation.
92. Be Tactful. There’s no need to be rude or abrasive. Be polite to your fellow humans – everyone has feelings, even if sometimes it may not seem that way.
93. Be a Teacher. You don’t have to be a formal teacher in name – The very act of sharing knowledge to someone is already teaching in itself. By teaching others, we become better. What are things you’re good in? Share the knowledge with other people. Start by doing it informally, and soon formally teaching others will be second-nature to you.

    
    

94. Be Trusting. Always give others the benefit of the doubt. No matter what you think, the baseline intention of people is always good. No one deliberately does something to harm others. When they do, it usually comes from a place of lack, but not out of sheer malicious intent.
95. Be Trustworthy. Always honor your commitments and uphold your promises. If you make an agreement with someone, be sure to stick through to it.
96. Be Unattached. For all things are transient in life. This doesn’t mean you become jaded and an emotionless being. What this means is you relish in every moment of your life, every situation you’re in, every person you’re with, as it is, without clinging on to it when it has passed. For we live in the present, not the past or future.
97. Be Understanding. Learn to comprehend things from others’ perspective. A common understanding is needed for relationships to be build on.
98. Be Vigilant. While the world is a safe place by and large, keep a watch out for possible dangers, especially when you’re in a foreign place. Keep a look out for suspicious people. Stay clear of potentially dangerous spots. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
99. Be Visionary. Set the highest goals and the biggest dreams you can imagine. Then set off and bring your vision to life. Be sure to create your vision board too at the same time. In Day 5 of 30DLBL, you get to create your vision board. I’ve also created a video on Creating Your Vision Board.

    
    The vision board of one of our past 30DLBL participants, Theresa

100. Be Vulnerable. Through PE, I’ve learned that sharing our vulnerabilities is what gives us the greatest strength as humans. In the past few years, I’ve opened up about some of my deepest vulnerabilities, including my relationship with my parents, my past heartbreak, my disappointments, among others.
101. Be Wise. Being wise means “having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion”. Practice good judgment by exposing yourself to different contexts; considering different perspectives; gathering as much information as you can; weighing out different possibilities. The more experience you gain, the more you learn, and the wiser you’ll become.

The 101 Series

If you like this post, you’ll love the other posts in the 101 series:

1. 101 Things To Do Before You Die
2. 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time
3. 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself In Life
4. 101 Ways To Live Your Life to the Fullest

#1 and #2 are also available in ebook format (pdf), and they are totally free for newsletter subscribers! Subscription is free, so download them immediately by subscribing now!

All New “Be a Better Me in 30 Days” August Challenge!

As promised in my last update, here’s news for the upcoming August Challenge! For the next month, we’ll be having an all new challenge on becoming a better us, aka “Be a Better Me in 30 Days” August Challenge!

Originally I was thinking to postpone this August challenge, especially since I’m traveling (in Europe – I’m in Germany as of Jul 27 ’11) and it’s going to be a challenge (no pun intended) managing my travel, blog maintenance, writing, coaching AND a full-scale online course.

But I thought – Ah heck it, so what if I’m traveling, transiting from place to place every few days, finding my place/way around in a foreign land and accustoming to a new culture with each transit?!? My gut is telling me to launch this in spite of what’s up ahead, so I’m just listening to it and going ahead with the challenge! (Check #59 on the list above – Be Intuitive )

Also, hey – Nothing is more fun than pushing the boundaries and challenging what’s possible, aye? (#42 – Aim for Excellence) If anything, running this challenge itself will be my very own challenge in becoming a better me. This is in fact the best opportunity for me to kick-off this course, because I’ll be living and breathing the essence of the challenge in the whole month (challenging boundaries, becoming a better person). There’s nothing impossible in this world – As long as you set the goal and go for it full force, everything will sort itself out along the way.

So yes – in the coming month of August, we’ll be having a brand new challenge on “Be a Better Me in 30 Days“!

Update Jul 27, ’11: Read more in the announcement: Be a Better Me in 30 Days” August Challenge. See you guys there!

Images © Shutterstock

Related Posts

• 101 Ways To Live Your Life To The Fullest
• 101 Important Questions To Ask Yourself in Life
• 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time, Volume 1
• 101 Most Inspiring Quotes of All Time, Volume 3